Moodscope's blog

12

May


Let the bakers bake and the butchers butch. Friday May 12, 2017

I live in a big house that has never been without a problem. The last eight years has seen a steady and constant stream of all the trades all lending their hand to this beautiful but troublesome place. Today a wall needs to be built and it is the turn of a joiner and an electrician. Finally, I think I have a little team who are masters of their craft and do a job in a traditional and learned way. I still hear how this or that has not been done the way it is meant but I also know I have trusted people who can help and push us another step forward.

As I boiled a kettle and set a tea tray (I strongly believe in keeping the workers happy) it came to me that we must approach this illness in the same way. Would I have a go at the electrical work needed in the new stud wall? I believe I could learn but I would not touch that job on my own. Electric shock? Nah. One hideous perm in the eighties was more than enough thank you much!

Please do not think of having one more day struggling onwards alone. Take advice. Trust someone. Take recommendations. Learn about different ways of approaching recovery. I've had to work through a few tradesmen. None were awful but plenty were more interested in doing a job rather than doing a good job. This is true too in our search for help with our mental health. Just because someone is qualified in their field does not mean that field is the right one for you. You can be choosy. It's just that when we are low we are both vulnerable and have far less energy to be choosy.

Having a trusted someone who is neutral can be the scales you need to help you get to the treatment most suited to you. In my opinion that is the hardest bit. Once you have taken that leap of faith, learned (sometimes the hard way!) and found something that works for you, it simply becomes a battle of keeping going at the times you least feel like it.

No home perms please. Learn from an electrician.

Love from

The room above the garage
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Hopeful One Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 7:09am

Hi RATG- You are absolutely right on this point. And that trusted friend can appear when you least expect them.. When I was at the bottom of my dip I was desperate to share my thoughts with someone, anyone, who was non judgemental and had patience to listen to my ramblings. One day I was taking a walk when I saw John( not his real name) repairing a church wall. We got talking and he told me about himself. He was a teacher from the Woodstock generation who had 'seen it ,done it' He was a volunteer at a Buddhist monastery though not a practising Buddhist. To cut a long story short he listened . He is the one person who I can honestly say gave me back my optimism. So thank you John.

Warning : today's laugh makes references to parts of the male anatomy which some readers may find offensive.( Caroline you have my full permission to pull this one out if that turns out to be the case)

Archie is lying in a hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.“Nurse,” he mumbled from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”Embarrassed, the young nurse replied, “I don’t know, sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”Through his mask, Archie struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, the nurse overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine.”
Archie slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
Are – my – test – results – back?”

LP Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 9:13am

Ha Ha!!! So funny :)) Thanks HO LP x

Tutti Frutti Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 9:14am

Well the joke amused me on what promises to be a pretty difficult day. Perhaps I am not easily offended but I don't think you have too much to worry about with this one! :) Love TF x

Vickie Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 12:22pm

Hilarious!!! Thanks for the belly laugh:)

Another Sally Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 1:02pm

Hi, yes a good laugh. Thanks for a great start to the day. Always look forward to an HO joke.

the room above the garage Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 1:47pm

Hello my hopeful friend :-) Big thanks to John, he sounds like he was your pivotal moment. Maybe you could write a blog on this... I too had a similar friend, someone who just listened in a gentle way and who, importantly, didn't try to force an opinion upon me. Today's joke has me trying to hide a belly laugh!!! I am sitting in a quiet area on a break in the middle of assisting with exams...and stifling the laugh is making it worse!!! Wonderful :-D xx

Hopeful One Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 9:15pm

Hi Guys- thank you for your comments. One tries one's best.

Tutti Frutti Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 9:18am

Hi RATG, Just to say I liked the blog. Can't come up with much more than that right now. I am still feeling utterly drained from some of the stuff of last week

Tutti Frutti Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 9:22am

Phone froze sorry. Things probably on the way up now but I just need some sleep! Love TF x

LP Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 9:57am

Hey TF, I hope you do get some sleep, are over the worst of it and on your way back up! LPXxx

the room above the garage Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 1:49pm

Hello TF, sounds like you have had a rough time. I've been reading the blogs but not been able to visit in here so I'm unsure whether you have had a specific event pull you down or if you are having a rough spell. Either way is hard and I hope you can lean on us. Love ratg x.

LP Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 9:55am

Hi ratg,
You are so right.
I find that when I am steady and well, I don't feel the need and am not inclined to rock the boat, being so grateful not to be feeling bad.

Everytime I have had an unbearable low, I have reached out for help from the nhs or charities. I have had all that is available,all of it helpful in some way but none of it seeing me through to a feeling that my struggles have fully been resolved. There has always been a time limit and whether 6 weeks or two years, the knowledge that the support will end possibly before I was ready for it to, didnt work for me.
I get that therapists and councellors enable us to help ourselves, rather than encourage dependency.

Perhaps I have to accept that I don't meet the thresholds in terms of severity and have too high an expectation of what is financially available on the nhs.

Private therapy is a huge financial committment when I am not certain whether that particular type will work for me. Fundamentally I believe in the nhs system and feel that I shouldnt have had to pay privately for my mental health care any more than for my physical as I have paid my contributions all my adult life.

Having said that though, in a crisis I have and always would seek help. Just that feeling of "I can't cope" tells me when I need to.

Thanks for a very encouraging blog ratg and huge respect to all the professionals who do such life changing work out there. Hugs to you and all. LP xx

the room above the garage Sat, May 13th 2017 @ 10:10am

Hello LP, that was what didn't work for me either...a time limit of care. I always felt the clock was ticking and it felt like a plaster where I needed a stookie. I only made proper progress privately and still use those lessons today, years on but it is a huge financial cost. It would be great if nhs funding could go part way to our chosen therapy rather than be told what we will offered. Love ratg x.

Lou Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 10:53am

I have not had much chance to comment on the blogs for some time, bit this really resonated RATG as I have realised this week that there are experts available to me to help with specific issues, who once asked, were delighted to help and really helpful. So, well said and thanks.

Hopeful? One; today's joke made me laugh out loud!!:)

the room above the garage Sat, May 13th 2017 @ 10:12am

Hello Lou, glad you have found the odd expert, if we can connect with the them it's a mini breakthrough! Love ratg x.

Norman Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 12:58pm

Hi Ratty! Long time no hear!
I have an interesting take on your blog. I recently moved in with my partner who has a fairly large house. Although she is quite practical (we have his-and hers power drills, sweet! she welcomes the fact I get stuck in to the maintenance.
And I feel great! I love getting into my old clothes and sorting out gutters, broken fences,new door handles, leaking radiators, etc. It feels like real work! Like many people I had a working-class upbringing but as jobs disappeared had to get an education and a desk-based job. For the first time in years I feel in touch with my roots: I am being me.
Which got me speculating, as real jobs are being automated and replaced by shuffling paper and office politics, are we getting increasingly depressed my meaningless work?

the room above the garage Sat, May 13th 2017 @ 10:18am

Hello Norman, it's good to hear how well you are doing! It's a bigger conversation but you have hit the nail on the head...reconnecting with something that gives a real sense of purpose gives us such a boost! Our education system has been utterly driven with providing academic education that everything else has been overlooked. Whilst I believe the old system had large flaws, there was something in sifting the academic brains and the ones who work best with their hands moving the brain.

The Gardener Fri, May 12th 2017 @ 2:49pm

HO - a goody - reminds me of real thing - Mr G recovery from prostate op, some minor difficulties. His super surgeon - a teaching one - always had a retinue of students - Mr G MOST embarrassed to see a beautiful trainee doctor with spectacular eyes peering closely at than part of him! Accepting help - oh dear. I've written about if before - but as our situation worsens it underlines the fact that my O/H has never accepted spiritual, mental or emotional help from anybody. He had a near nervous breakdown at 47, just could not go on - we all, I an staff, 'covered' for him. The last 8 years of acute problems have left him more and more clam-like, but angry and bitter with life - it's got to go somewhere, which is me. I needed to share his load with professionals - now, although loads of professional help, the damage is done. On a practical line, RATG plumbers etc - English here get themselves in SUCH a mess. They do not bother to integrate, or learn the language really well. They come, mostly, almost 100%, for cheap property, then have ambitious and expensive ideas. One lot turned all the inward opening windows outwards, to be properly British. Many have used British 'builders', often cowboys, not aware of planning rules, or even of their trade. The clients won't pay for an interpreter to deal with French craftsmen. For our major works as well as professional plumbers and electricians we had a 'supervisor' (French) who kept the other lot up to time schedules - until this last house we have done all the decorating (and gardening) ourselves on 7 houses. Norman, you've touched a very sore point on what I call 'rubbish heap' people'. In England and France there were once road-sweepers - often people who had no hope of a job which needed education - all mechanised. In the wholesale markets in London, pre computerisation, there were an army of very dependable ladies who kept the books (probably made less mistakes and annoyed less customers). Of course all these had to be supplanted - but how many people are depressed because they no longer count for anything?

the room above the garage Sat, May 13th 2017 @ 10:31am

Hello TG, yes I agree...people who feel they do not count can feel worthless. Cue illness. Good to see you xx.

Mary Wednesday Sat, May 13th 2017 @ 6:38am

Bang on! RATG. Loved It!

the room above the garage Sat, May 13th 2017 @ 10:32am

:-) wonderful!

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