Following on from Jul's blog recently about the lack of mental health services, I wondered if anyone had experienced the detailed letters, after an assessment from mental health, sent to your GP and usually a copy to you. Often the content is inaccurate.
My first assessment, this time round, I asked for the letter not to be sent to me, as I had mentioned personal things in it from the past and didn't want my husband to read it.
Today I had another appointment, to which I thought was going to be the outcome of the treatment they were going to give me. It wasn't, I was told there wasn't enough information in my first assessment to know what they should be offering me, so it was to be another assessment with more questions.
I was told this time that they agreed I had borderline personality disorder but I was showing no traits or symptoms of it. I said I know I have it, and she said, yes you have it, but you are showing no signs of it. I wasn't sure what that meant.
She then said to me "You have tried to commit suicide haven't you?" I haven't, and I told her that before in the last assessment. She said to me twice, "Are you sure?". I said "Yes I am sure".
I am not lying! She made me feel like I am lying. I haven't, what is it they want to hear?
This is the best bit that has really upset me. She asked me if it was okay to send the detailed letter to my home address of today's assessment. I said yes it was fine and then I asked if she could give me a copy of the letter from my last assessment.
She did so in an envelope. I scanned the letter on the way home and hid it in my bag and worried for four hours.
The letter said that I had 'Wished I had married my ex'. Totally, totally untrue!
And it said that 'I had an affair four years ago and my husband didn't know about it'. What????? I have never been unfaithful to him!!!
I was so very worried about the content of this letter, and whether to tell him, in case he did not believe me, but I do not hide anything from him, so I made the decision to show him the letter.
He was very supportive and believed me. I do wonder though if there is a bit of doubt in his mind now. Wondering what I had said to begin with for this doctor to get it all mixed up about what I told her.
How can this be?
I had so much trouble getting there today due to my anxiety and now I am back in that place (not depression) but out of control about the authorities judging me and getting it all completely wrong.
I totally understand how people are tipped over the edge, when dealing with, and being let down by, the authorities.
A Moodscope member.