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May


Just suppose... Tuesday May 19, 2015

Have you seen the Disney film "Frozen", an intriguing re-working of the Snow Queen story? We sat down with our elder daughter (23) to watch it the other night – a lovely, cosy family evening; what intrigues me is that both she and darling hubby picked up a strong message of depression from the main character, Elsa; perhaps this is not surprising, given that one suffers from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), while the other suffers from frequent but short bursts of what we refer to as "bleaks".

I did not pick up this message at all; what I got was the sibling rivalry - elder daughter would not talk to younger daughter for several months, a situation (thankfully much improved now) which caused younger daughter and myself considerable sadness and, if I am honest, spoiled my enjoyment of Frozen as I relived the whole ghastly business.

This has reminded me that we can all view the same situation from very different standpoints – each one valid of course, but different.

When we are down, we can become fixated on our own negative viewpoint, and often cannot even acknowledge the existence of a different viewpoint – let alone believe in it...

I am particularly guilty of "discounting the positive" as Hopeful One so wisely pointed out to me back in March (3rd); (thank-you again Hopeful One!) Actually so are hubby and elder daughter now I come to think about it...

So I am trying to play the game "Just suppose..." as in:

• Just suppose that things are getting better (even if I can't see it),
• just suppose I will feel a bit brighter tomorrow,
• just suppose my feelings of inadequacy are passing through like clouds in the sky.

And if all else fails, I can always resort to singing "Let it snow" at the top of my voice!

Frankie
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

Hopeful One Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 7:02am

Hi Frankie-thanks for that and the 'mention in dispatches' Its my birthday today and your sentiments are just so good to read as it appears I may have helped a fellow traveler. You are on the right track believe me.Keep repeating your last three bullet points as often as you can and new circuits with a positive bias will start forming in your mind on the principle that 'neurons that fire together wire together'.You made my day.

Caroline Ashcroft Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 7:54am

Happy birthday Hopeful One. Hope you have a great day.

Anonymous Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 8:36am

Happy Birthday Hopeful One, I hope you manage to spoil yourself a bit. Best wishes, Julie.

Julia Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 8:47am

This is so true Frankie. I am getting better at presenting an alternative viewpoint to myself when I am in a negative cycle which goes on too long and something has to be done to stop it. I am sorry your sister problems stopped you from enjoying Frozen (you made me chuckle here) but I know I would react in the same way with my sibling problems. I am not sure I want to see the film now!! I wonder what the intended audience..young children(?) made of the sisters? Innocent eyes and ears no doubt would not dwell on WHY the sisters behaved as they did but just accepted it. Nice one Frankie.

Anonymous Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 9:00am

Hi Hopeful One, if Frankie hadn't created such lovely synchronicity this morning, we likely wouldn't know it's your birthday. HApPY biRThdAy! Have a wonderful day. susan xx

Anonymous Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 9:04am

Hi Frankie, i've had these same thoughts lately about positive 'just supposes'. Great blog, thank you. And as for sibling rivalry, don't get me started. ~~Let it go ~ susan xx

The Entertrainer Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 10:59am

Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You!!
Happy Birthday, Dear Hopeful One!!!
Happy Birthday to You!!!!
L'xx

The Entertrainer Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 11:00am

Just suppose what I'm singing!

Fabbloggatastic Frankie
L'xx

Anonymous Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 11:36am

Thank-you all for your lovely comments; I am at work so can't spend too long replying individually; and Happy Birthday Hopeful One
Frankie

Anonymous Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 9:09pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOPEFUL ONE!
I hope it's a good day.
I hope it brings moments to cherish.
I hope you know we're glad you're here.
Love from the room above the garage xx.

Anonymous Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 9:17pm

Frankie this is lovely blog. I'm very guilty of seeing things from only one angle but I'm learning to alter my thinking bit by bit. Did your girls notice any similarity to their situation? I love "just suppose"...
Today I have taken a nasty bug and I'm dragging my sorry body into bed. Just suppose I wake up fresh! Love ratg xx.

Anonymous Tue, May 19th 2015 @ 9:52pm

Thank-you RATG; sorry to hear about your bug - horrid feeling under the weather - hope you feel better really soon; coward that I am, I didn't dare ask the girls!
Frankie

Hopeful One Wed, May 20th 2015 @ 6:25am

Hi -Thank you one and all for your birthday greetings.I had a fab day more so as I had cyber companionship as well.

Laura Sun, May 24th 2015 @ 9:53pm

Hi Frankie - I love your strategy of "Just suppose..." and I know it will be helpful. In the support group I attend, we call it "Act as if" - Act as if you have confidence, act as if you believe in yourself, etc. It has helped me as well. If you can change your behaviors, your attitudes and beliefs will follow. As for your feelings of inadequacy, it looks to me like you've found another great strategy. I've been learning how to meditate and studying Buddhism a little bit, and what I've been reading recently is to not run away from your feelings, but don't attach to them, either. In other words, simply acknowledge your feeling/though/situation in a non-judgmental way, be aware of it, and then act accordingly. This way, we don't get "stuck" and wallow in our negative thoughts and scary emotions, we don't ruminate. We notice it and then we move on. Simple - but not easy. It sounds like you're doing a lot of good things to help yourself. Keep it up! Oh, and Hopeful One - I hope you've had a wonderful birthday! :)

Anonymous Tue, May 26th 2015 @ 5:33pm

Hi Laura; simple but not easy; so true; I am struggling with my own sibling problems this week so revisited the blog and found your lovely comments; thank-you for your encouragement
Frankie

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