One of my favourite scenes in movie history is 56 seconds from the film, "The Full Monty."
In it, you see an articulation of the magic of what happens when a fragmented group commit to a common cause. This seems rather relevant to the challenges facing the UK's political parties at the time of writing! The leader of the group, who has some relevant dancing experience, is seeking to choreograph the team to make a coordinated set of moves. It just doesn't happen!
He loses his temper and swears at the team. All he wants them to do is come forward in a straight line and lift their right hands as one.
Something beautiful happens when the group takes ownership of the problem. One of them has an Aha! moment where he understands the solution in his own terms. In a flash of insight, he perceives the dance move to be like, "The Arsenal Offside Trap"! He says, "Lumper, here, is Tony Adams..." and he continues. "If any ******* looks like scoring, we all come forward in a straight line and wave our hands around like a fairy!"
Politically correct, he is not. Functionally correct and effective, he is!
The clip is the best articulation I know of what Harvard's Professor Howard Gardner calls, 'Multiple Intelligence'. Building on the initial moment of insight (Reflective Intelligence), the team then engage to put the concept in their own words (Linguistic Intelligence), work out the sequences of moves (Physical and Mathematical/Logical Intelligence), work in solidarity (Social Intelligence), arrange themselves at the right distance from one another (Visual/Spatial Intelligence), and all in time to the music (Musical Intelligence). They get involved, intelligently... and as a result, show commitment and remain committed to the result.
I wish I was more mature than I am at times, but the truth is I am an emotional being! On three occasions recently I have not been involved in decisions that directly affect my well-being. The result (immaturely) is that I am in no-way committed to the outcomes. In fact, if there is any way I can throw a spanner in the works, I will! I realise that this is my inner-chimp, but he needs respect or at least a banana!
With a little bit of detachment, I can see my emotional reaction as typical of many of the issues I encounter in organisational and family conflicts around the World. The lack of respect shown in a corresponding lack of involvement leads at best to passive aggression and a will to revolt!
So if you need commitment from your team (or family), be prepared to involve them in the decisions that are made. They may not have the right, the power, or the authority, but they do have a will... and it would be far better for you if their will was in your favour! Even if you finally make a decision they don't agree with, you may be surprised by how supportive they will remain if, and only if, you involve them intelligently and respectfully.
A Moodscope member.