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Invitation to Dance. Monday August 8, 2016

"Resistance is Futile" The Borg
"Yes, but resistance is a bit of a nuisance!" Lex

How would you like to find yourself 'irresistible' to everyone? It would probably be a bit embarrassing after a while, but it's an interesting thought.

Here's another interesting thought:

What if people's resistance to your ideas or offers were simply "an invitation to dance"?

People say, "No!" or even, "No, thank you!" when they don't see enough possibilities in your proposition to make a change in their own story - not enough potential to stop what they are doing now and join the dance with you. If we see their 'resistance' as simply 'an invitation to dance' - we can change the style of the invitation. 'Dance' here refers to a metaphor for all human interactions. When they flow well, we join a dance with one another. When we don't connect, the other party simply sits the dance out, and misses the magic.

Let's play with an empowering assumption: people won't dance until you frame the invitation in the right way. So, if they say, "No!" to you today, think 'possibility' - and then add more possibilities to the invitation. Rewrite the dance card in a way that bigs up the possibilities in the dance for the other person.

Possibility thinking is far more powerful that positive thinking.

An enticing invitation to dance is the next step on your path to becoming 'simply irresistible'!

Lex
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Claire Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 12:48am

I really like this reframing of resistance and the idea of possibility thinking. Thanks for the invaluable insight. :-)

Lex Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 5:12am

Thanks, Claire. The thought was triggered by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander's beautiful work, "The Art of Possibility." I have the audio version as well as the book and have to say that it moves me to tears on so many occasions - quite the most beautiful and touching teaching CD series I have heard. As an adult, I have found that I quit very easily. Now, I just up the possibility broadcast! Lx

Hopeful One Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 6:39am

Hi Lex- an interesting blog .In order for the possibility of interaction( the dance) to take place one has to perhaps acknowledge the status of the relationship of the players.We learnt in the 'Dream Triangle' theory of psychology that they are four such states.They are
"I am OK, you are OK"
"I am OK ,you are not OK"
"I am not OK, you are OK"
"I am not OK ,you are not OK"

The progress of the possibility requires moving from the last three stages to the first for any success.How one does do that... well that's along story.

My Love sent me this series called "Confucius did not say...
Here are the first two. The rest to follow over the coming days.

"Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient."

"Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly."



Lex Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 7:28am

You are WONDERFUL xx

Mary Wednesday Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 6:32pm

Love these ones, HO!

Lex Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 7:40am

"I Hope You Dance"

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

Tychi's Mum Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 11:08am

A fantastic blog and a beautiful poem. Thankyou Lex....I'll be dancing today...

Lex Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 2:26pm

Thanks, Tychi's Mum... you can hear the beautiful sung version if you search for Lee Ann Womack https://youtu.be/RV-Z1YwaOiw It's a life-changing song in my book! Lx

LillyPet Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 8:11am

Hi Lex,
I like this idea of possibilities! Sometimes things seem blocked, but rather than feeling that the situation is hopeless, thinking in terms of possibilities allows for hope. Thanks Lex!
Wishes for positive possibilities for all :) LP xx

LillyPet Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 8:11am

Hi Lex,
I like this idea of possibilities! Sometimes things seem blocked, but rather than feeling that the situation is hopeless, thinking in terms of possibilities allows for hope. Thanks Lex!
Wishes for positive possibilities for all :) LP xx

Lex Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 8:44am

Love ya, LillyPet. PetPositive today!! Lx

Orangeblossom Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 8:19am

Thanks Lex & all those who contributed to this discussion. You opened my eyes & mind to the endless possibilities today!

Lex Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 8:46am

Blooming possibilities like Orangeblossom! Lx

Mary Wednesday Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 6:35pm

Hmmm - I know that, when people say "no" to me, I always walk away rather than taking their no as an invitation to dance. This is because I find it so hard to say no and hate to put someone else in the position where they feel bad about saying it more than once. Still not sure at the moment I feel like dancing (bad time as you know) but it's definitely worth considering.

Lex Tue, Aug 9th 2016 @ 10:23am

I think 'hope' is a glimmer of opportunity. As I write that line I remember the old shed in my first family garden that I remember. It was of curved corrugated iron. It had tiny holes where some of the bolts had not been put in place - or where they had rotted away since the War. On a sunny day, shafts of light would piece the darkness... and there would be columns of shimmering dust particles. Enchanting. That, to me, was the visible manifestation of hope, Mary. Much love, Lx

Jul Tue, Aug 9th 2016 @ 12:09pm

Lovely Lex. Jules xx

The Gardener Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 7:16pm

I am being invited everywhere during my respite/holiday. But exhaustion is so deep-rooted that every time I sit down I fall asleep - sun helps. When Mr G is not here, sunk in deep gloom but demanding at the same time, I still think of possibilities, we could do this, or that - then I look at the energy needed - will power and sheer bloody-mindedness - but, possibilities - in my equation are things that I cannot put up with any longer - so a way has to be found round them - risks have to be taken - rows will ensue, which I hate. Basic needs of life are denied, fresh air, rooms have to be hermetically sealed. One of our lovely nuns, a peaceful character, in theory - is now scathing. She calls Mr G 'The pasha' and does not actually say get your back-side out of that chair, but her face says so. In two days I have regained gossiping in the road, an evening out with various gigs and a rowdy dinner with my best pals. The first lines of the poem are a talisman 'I hope you never lose your sense of wonder'. We had a concert given by an oboist, over 80. played at the Proms several times - he made his instrument laugh! The lady on the clavichord was suffering a very painful back, and although her playing was still magic, watching her confusion with the music and obvious pain was tough - but her fingers could still dance.

Lex Mon, Aug 8th 2016 @ 10:27pm

Perhaps the dance is the dance of resilience? It's a spark... a possibility... a chance to be taken. L'x

Duma Tue, Aug 9th 2016 @ 1:08am

Speaking as a denizen of the Moshpit...

...to quote Specialist Vasquez (Aliens) "Let's rock!"

Cool post Lex!

A laughing Duma.

Duma Tue, Aug 9th 2016 @ 1:11am

Reminds me of a story, one I cannot possibly tell, not on such an open and shallow part of the net. I am a tease, amn't I? lol

Lex Tue, Aug 9th 2016 @ 10:24am

Oh Caroline, please give this teasing Duma my email address! Lx

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