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Improve your inner confidence and self-control. Saturday July 2, 2016

My positive approach, implemented in my life with great personal success, gives me more inner confidence and self-control than ever.

Please remember this is only my opinion, but it really does work for me - I've been in that ditch, no light, no end of the tunnel many times.

1. Starting with myself, keeping a house of order in everything we do, everything in its place and a place for everything.

2. Always be honest, in thought, word and deed, doing the right thing regardless of temptation, if we cheat, we cheat ourselves and if we lie, we have to have a very good memory.

3. Work to separate the negative from the positive, in life and in others' opinion.

4. Other peoples' opinions, including Medical and Financial, are generally just that, an opinion, which we can either accept or reject, but question always, its your life.

5. Strive to become solvent, get rid of debt as far as possible, don't work for loan companies.

6. Procrastination in adversity pulls us down, start with the most painful, deal with it, don't allow it to fester in the subconscious, it gives power to control and destroy our inner confidence.

7. Strive to be more positive within yourself, we're all equal, no one is better, and we are no better that others.

8. When doubt sets in...reach out to someone less fortunate than ourselves, in that instant, we forget our own adversities, (most of which we create ourselves). We become extrovert, which has a calming effect upon our emotions, it HALTS our selfish, self-centered attitude, because we become needed, wanted, and of worth!

9. The greatest attribute we can obtain, is to strive hard to be a good listener. That way we are able to offer effective counsel based upon sound opinion.

10. Allowing others to 'unload' serves two purposes, 1. We create a real friend. 2. We see the love reflected in the recipient's eyes, as we have given 'spot on' counsel.

11. Say what you mean and mean what you say, do not deviate.

12. NEVER give up on anyone or anything... see it through to the end result, don't be put off, by anyone.

13. Don't allow ourselves to become offended, this is probably the most demanding of our persona, but that which holds the key to inner peace.

14. Don't contend with anyone, state your opinion and walk away from contention, holding our head up high, and not allowing others that power that motivates most folk, because contention is of the devil.

15. Keep your promises, no matter what, and be punctual.

Good luck.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Orangeblossom Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 6:10am

Thanks for these very valuable, helpful tips Dave

Anne Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 6:42am

Excellent post Dave... thank you for this timely reminder. All of it resonated with me but particularly 7, 11 & 13....

Thank you for sharing

Hopeful One Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 7:05am

Hi Dave - thanks for an insight into your ' tool box ' of things that work for you. There is a lot there but could one suggest that a little humour goes a long way too?

Today's sortie is short but hopefully brings a laugh or two.

A woman and her husband interrupt their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled out and I don't want any local because I'm in a big hurry," says the wife . "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist is quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turns to her husband and says , "Show him your tooth, dear."

the room above the garage Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 11:21am

:-D How was the holiday?

Hopeful One Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 4:54pm

Hi RATG- in one word - wonderful . The sun , the warmth ,the delicious food , the wine, the One I Love , the Blue Agean Sea what else could one want?

the room above the garage Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 11:20am

Hello Dave, thank you, so interesting to read others survival notes!
(Separately, sorry to all who replied to the desiderata blog, I didn't get a chance to reply to comments, I still will, probsbly later today. It has been a firefighting kind of fortnight but it has just ceased and so some normality should return!). Thank you Dave, I've benefitted from this today, love ratg x.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 12:17pm

Thanks Dave. A lot of this really chimes with me and I particularly like 7 (we are all equal) and 9 (strive to be a good listener).

There is the odd rule in here though, that I think is a bit too absolute to be helpful to me eg 15 (keep promises no matter what). The principle really appeals to me and I do tend to live by this but at the expense of overdoing things at times and really tying myself in knots if I ever have to let anyone down. So I am working on trying to soften some of my rules a bit so that they are actually helpful and don't lead to beating myself up. We had a good blog the other day about challenging your rules.

I've also done therapy on this called REBT (rational and emotional behavioural therapy). It is kind of a step beyond CBT to try and challenge the underlying beliefs that lead to the negative thinking. (It involves written exercises that I still find really challenging.) So I would need to try and replace rule number 15 with something like "keep your promises unless you are in a position where it will damage your health to do so and if that happens don't beat yourself up about letting people down". (Not actually sure if my counsellor would think that I had fully got there yet on that attempt to rewrite it. Only giving yourself some slack when you would otherwise damage your health may still be a bit too high a bar for me to try and live up to but at least it's a start.)

Tutti Frutti Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 12:20pm

Dave Meant to say sorry if what I have written above comes across as very negative. I did like a lot of what you wrote and it certainly set me thinking. Thanks for writing for us.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 12:21pm

Mary Wednesday have you seen that there are two late comments from military people to your blog last week?

Eva Sun, Jul 3rd 2016 @ 12:49am

Hiya, K has also been back in and written an account of her experience with ptsd, thanks K.

Eva Sun, Jul 3rd 2016 @ 12:49am

Hiya, K has also been back in and written an account of her experience with ptsd, thanks K.

Leah Sat, Jul 2nd 2016 @ 12:40pm

Thanks Dave.
I did not start the list well because no 1 is something I can not do as I am a messy disorganised slob!! By the end I think I do 8 out of 15 so I am on my way. You did say 15 points works for you. For me 3 points is enough for my simple mind.
Dave you gave given us lots to think about and aim for.

Eva Sun, Jul 3rd 2016 @ 12:52am

A comprehensive list for life, I have many of the same values, but like some of the above, I am having to adjust some of my standards in order to chill out a bit and not get tied up in my rules to the detriment of my health. But great to see some good tips all laid out, I might try this myself, and thanks very much.

Maria Sun, Jul 3rd 2016 @ 2:54pm

I try, I try. And I´m new at moodscope.

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