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I believe in fairies. Tuesday September 5, 2017

Adults have it all wrong. They spend little time on the really important stuff. We only need to look at a four year old, blowing bubbles in the wind to see the magic. The belly laugh when a concentrated-on bubble flies off the wand and pops! Or when a tumble of bubbles appear and the child feels like a King! I am lucky to have a video of my eldest daughter doing this very thing and it is one of my most treasured possessions. I'd picked up a cheap, plastic bubble machine, filled it with batteries and liquid and switched the switch to 'on'. The squeals!! I don't even need the video as I can remember every moment and sound. It was a windy afternoon and so she was caught up inside this magical tornado of bubbles.

It has been a long time since I felt that freedom. And yet it is vital.

Unless ye olde Knight wearing white satin appears on a steed outside my front door in the next wee bit, I'm not convinced I'm going to feel that sense of freedom today. Or tomorrow. But even in the writing of this first paragraph, it sent me back to a place where I felt wonderful. And that is all you need. Just for a few moments, recall something wonderful. And that is all you need. You have traversed yet another moment. Now you can carry on, just the same as you were, but now with a sprinkle of fairy dust on top. I declare no growing up today if we can at all avoid it!

Love from

The room above the garage
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Sal Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 12:07am

Lovely, RATG, I do so agree! I love that little child in you, in me, in everyone, that knows pure delight. When we make contact with each other on that level, what could possibly stand in the way? Thanks for this lovely blog. xx

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:13am

Oh Sal wouldn't that be wonderful, the world would be whole again. My pleasure x.

Hopeful One Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:09am

Hi RATG- So glad to read you are in a happier place and yes its the little things, like bubbles, that take us there not the big things.
'Unless ye olde Knight wearing white satin appears on a steed...well that is also on the cards' if you are willing to put your foot
forward... take one step towards providence and it will take two steps towards you.

And don't forget to have a laugh along the way. In the spirit of your blog...

The following questions were in last year’s grade 12 equivalent examination (These are genuine answers).

Q What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheikh wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.

More to follow.

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:30am

Tee hee! Thanks dear Hopeful One....the joys of school children! Bear x

Mary Wednesday Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 9:56am

That last one! Giggle!

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:17am

I love these! You are very much the fairy dust in my day :-) I have scheduled consideration of Ye Olde Knights for 2025 (I'm actually serious!) So will keep you posted x.

Jane SG Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:36am

Dear ratg, yes I believe in fairies. I'm clapping right now. I also believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, teddies coming alive at night and knights in armour on a white steed. Bubbles are just the best. I'm fighting the onslaught of aniexty, panicky and depressive feelings. I'm going to go and buy some bubbles. Xx

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:44am

Dear Jane SG....keep your chins up girlie - we are with you; buy those bubbles and each time one bubble pops, think of the panic, anxiety and those nasty depressive feelings pop away too. Love Bear x

Jane SG Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 9:12am

Thank you Bear, I love this! I will do as you suggest. Thank you xxxx

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:18am

Santa here too and I'm never giving him up! Xx

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:39am

Lurve Santa! I will revive all Bear traditions if and when we have granchilders to entertain...just let me at 'em! xx

Mary Wednesday Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 12:16pm

But of course they all exist!!! How could you doubt?

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:41am

Hiya RATG,...a beautiful, lovingly written blog...I thankees!
A great moment in your and your daughter's lives...I bet she can remember it too...with the help of the video. The sounds of children laughing like drains, uncontrollable, with no worries about what anyone thinks. They just can't help laughing even when they don't want to...or worse...when they're not supposed to be laughing out loud (in church, especially when we were in the choir and the organist miss hit a few notes, we could hardly sing and the congregation knew - they could see our shoulders shaking!). Shame we often lose that.
You've brought back wonderful memories from when our daughter was little and did the funniest things and we all laughed. Treasures. Am watching our pup do hilarious things with his toys - he is at the all or nothing stage...has been playing like a mad thing on a mad day, and just dropped off to sleep! Bliss!
Thank you dear RATG

Bear hugs to all - especially to those liddle children still inside us!
Ps..I believe in fairies!!

LP Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:56am

Hey Bear hugs! You reminded me about times of laughing when you're not supposed to, making it ten times funnier! Your pup sounds like a bundle of joy :) xx

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 8:07am

He is, LP....he's awake again and chewing a teethImg toy...and needle-sharp teeth dropping out each day! He's hilarious...the antics and funny things he does, just cheer me so much. He's a pure bundle of boy! Hope your DDay talks goes along well....keep one hand in your pocket on that magic dust xxxx Bear hugs xxxx

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:22am

Laughing like that is the best...the contrast of a belly laugh risking big trouble is just immense. I love those laughs that you can't stop and they hurt like mad! A new puppy? Oh I can imagine, full on then collapse in sleep...both of you! So good to see you x.

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:41am

I do to funny, so painful and your jaw aches!

Orangeblossom Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:47am

Hi RATG, thanks for your fun-filled blog, filled with joy & simplicity. I enjoyed reading it a great deal.

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:22am

Thank you Ob, now you've given me a smile x.

LP Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:51am

Hi ratg!
The last time I really immersed myself in playful fun that I can remember was building a den in the living room with my daughter and taking everything we needed in there, i.e. snacks! :)
A wonderfully cheery blog, just what the doctor ordered on a grey drizzly back to work Tuesday! Plus am having an amicable meeting with ex to move things along with the D word! :) There you see you've changed my energy to much more lighthearted than it was!
Will keep some sparkling fairy dust in my pocket today and hope I remember it's there!
You never know, that knight might well gallop past! Getting a couple of trusty steeds of our own and going for a good gallop sounds like even more fun! :))
Thanks for the reminder of freedom to be playful. Smiles to you and all :) LP xxx

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:26am

Keep that fairy dust close, even though amicable it still shades the heart a bit and can tire you mentally. I love that you built a den with your daughter. My young teens still build dens and the less the availability of proper stuff the more magical they become! Think we should have a den night soon...dinner inside! Thank you for that inspiration x.

LP Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 10:44pm

:) Yes will take one step at a time and keep the fairy dust to hand Thanks Hun xx

Milliecat Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 8:53am

Hi there - i always love your blog. Thank you for once again making me just see things a bit differently when all around me are difficult emotions and decisions. My youngest son has just left home to Uni which is fantastic news...and there are many memories of him around the house. They are mainly wonderful but also some which make me wonder how i managed parenting at all! Today i will sprinkle a wee bit of fairy dust remembering some of the lovely memories that i have, Thank you x

Jane SG Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 9:14am

Hi Milliecat, this helped me as my second child (son) is off to uni in 2 weeks. Been dreading it but you have just put a whole new perspective on it. Thank you! I hope you son does well and enjoys himself x

Milliecat Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 10:00am

HI JAne SG - aw wishing you all the best as your son flies the nest...yes remember the times that make you smile and probably cry too - what an experience we have had. And its not over yet! I also manage the panic surges/plus that hot rush! - and i am with you on that. Gawd! Breathing. Keep breathing. and ice packs. Sending you much support for everything xx

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:29am

Oh goodness I have a year left before I'm at this point. As a solo parent I feel queasy about it (we've been a team for a long time) but I know I have to let it happen. Please someone provide a soundproofed, padded room for me when that time comes so that I might have a fall apart time whilst keeping dignity. X

Mary Wednesday Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 12:20pm

Oh gosh... 3 years here.... she's already so independent I know she will just fly. I know you have to give your children roots and wings (My two are very different kinds of birds), but i am living having in the nest now shes not a child any more but an interesting human being.

The Gardener Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 9:53am

RATG - thank you so much - after an awful night and a mind-blowingly full day, your lovely fantasy made me shut the problems away and concentrate on images. It's my current challenge - forcing my mind away from dwelling on problems. Can't quite do the bubbles - while doing the washing up I just 'pulled up' images. Untrodden snow. Brilliant pink flowering cherries against a livid April sky of an impending storm. The bay of Taranto - brilliant blue sea, then a semi-circle of orange trees backed by snow-covered mountains, a magic combination. The spring blackbird, in his full glory. And, a crazy one, getting a new exercise book at school - and convinced that a new page equals a leaf turned over in your education - avoid red marks! HO - great. Another true one - in our class at Grammar School was a girl who must have had a near miracle to get the 11 plus. Questioned on the glorious 1st of June she said 'It was a lovely day for my birthday'. She was very attractive, so probably got on well regardless.

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:31am

Hello TG, you think in would be an excellent cinematographer. You also describe your thoughts in words so accurately that I can see it all too. How's the garden today? Would love your wisdom there. Xx

The Gardener Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 1:38pm

Full moons my fantasy - especially when seen at sea - you can imagine all the sea gods having a party. And 'Hunter's Moon' (October??) is almost orange, if the clouds ever lift. Haven't inspected the two gardens, today. But the terrace is a joy - rampaging, joyously flowering climbing plants (cost me nearly nothing, even better). They greet me in the mornings, from big windows of bedroom, dressing room and 'ironing' room - cheering my morning as I field Mr G's first moans, process the endless washing and prepare for nurse's arrival. Because the terrace is very sheltered and very hot the plants need lots of TLC - then they try and out-do each other. Morning Glory a furlong ahead of black-eyed Susans - geraniums poking their heads through, and some begonias I'd forgotten trying to make a break for it - all in 10 square metres.

Dolphin Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 10:20am

Thanks RATG for the reminder and thanks Gardener and the rest of you for your lists. I've had a bad two nights in a row of little sleep and lots of physical pain last night, where every move woke me and made me yelp. So, happy thoughts helped. Like Gardener, I loved getting new stationery, with excitement about what would fill the books (stories of course, not the boring stuff!) and the lovely long, sharp pencils. And thanks Bear for the puppy stories. I've walked a dog for over a year since he was 6 months old and he is still puppy-ish. On one of the last walks, he took along his squeaky rubber duck which brought lots of amused looks. Whenever another dog approached (and he loves the whole world), he would spit out the duck - retrieved by me - to play and smell. x

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 11:32am

Dolphin that's awful, the tiredness makes everything worse. Remind me, what is the root of the pain?

Dolphin Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 6:32pm

Hi RATG. I've never spoken about it. It's bog standard sciatica down one side and lower back pain and then restless legs join the party. I've only recently been able to return to yoga which helps, but I've no idea what brings on bad spells (or I do when things are bad, but I'm in a good phase at the moment).

Lexi Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 1:11pm

A sweet blog toda RATG. Thank you. I was so tired the other day but my 8 yr old kept insisting that we play. I kept putting her off "one more thing and then I'll play" until the thought came into my head "how many more days left of "Mama, come play"? Soon she'll be off doing things on her own and I will miss hearing those words. So I dropped everything quickly and we played. It was wonderful. Xo Lexi

Dragonfly Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 4:10pm

Dear Ratg, I've just read this blog and realised that I've fulfilled your 'no growing up' declaration perfectly! I've had 2 grandbabies for the day (ages 8 and 4) before school starts tomorrow. It was raining this morning, so that put an end to a few hours in the park. Nothing on at the cinema to while away a few hours either, so I felt at a bit of a loss how to keep them entertained and my sanity intact! First I got the paints out and they produced colourful, if slightly smudgy, masterpieces beyond any value. After lunch we piled into the car and headed to a museum in town which has cobbled streets and houses of a bygone time, and prison cells to hold the most roguish of vagabonds. It just so happened that on a grassy area between the museum and the car park was an old fashioned merry-go-round. I had to ride pillion with the littlest one, but the extortionate cost was worth it as we glided serenely around, bobbing up and down on our colourful, trusty steeds. The sun shone, our hair blew in the breeze, we laughed and it was magical! x

Michael Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 5:00pm

Hello All

Just following on from the blog the other day, once again the blog and comments section is all very feminine. In one way this is all very lovely and I'm sure is great for the group of ladies who are part of all this.

From another standpoint though, as a bloke I don't feel I really have much to contribute now into such an environment. It feels like a core of women have took up roost and made this place their own. Apologies if that sounds inflammatory, I’m really not trying to upset anyone and I hope you can appreciate that I’m simply expressing how this place makes me feel now. I'm really not mentioning this in order to criticise or imply anyone has done anything wrong, but it is more to give perspective.

I have been a member of numerous forums over the years with topics ranging from gaming to fitness to cats to IQ. And on more than one occasion I have seen the forum come to an end for the following reason: it basically becomes a chat room for a core group of users. Once that group of people get to know each other then inevitably the language used changes slightly and the result is that it can be off-putting for new users to get involved. It's a bit like a stranger butting in to a conversation between a group of friends - there's only a small number of strangers who would do that.

So, I don't really know what to offer as a solution other than to very gently suggest to everyone to consider how to make the place more welcoming to new people somehow. It's really nice to have friends on here but just try to make sure it doesn’t inadvertently become too cliquey. Just as an example: referring to other members with shortened names gives off a cliquey vibe.

Just to reiterate, I'm not saying anyone is in the wrong, and I so hope I've not offended anyone. And while you must, of course, use this resource in a way that helps you, please also consider how we can maintain inclusivity and encourage new people to feel OK to join in and also benefit from this resource. While part of me feels a bit mean saying all this, I also feel shying away from saying it would have been wrong too. Michael x

Mary Wednesday Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 5:29pm

Wise words indeed, Michael;tactfully and sensitively put. Thank you. I am not sure I have an answer either. Possibly we could create a forum where folk wishing to engage in conversation, rather than just comments, could gather. We have a Moodscope public page. Possibly we could have a private page for chatting. Caroline - over to you on this one. And - apart from pleading with you blokes to comment, I'm not sure I have any further suggestions.

Dragonfly Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 5:39pm

Hi Michael. Your point is very valid. There have been a few calls on here recently for more input from men, as their different experiences or perspective can be of great value. But if no men do contribute, what can be done? I really don't like cliques and do occasionally feel that there are those who seem to be regulars and underpin the whole Moodscope blog, but surely they are as entitled as anyone is to contribute. I might be completely wrong, but I think Lex is the only male blogger. The point was also made that the gender of the contributor is irrelevant as we're all people with various mental health issues trying to support one another. I sometimes feel a bit of an outsider but that's probably due to my own lack of confidence and absolutely no reflection on the wonderful support I receive here. I don't have any answers - if people are just being their genuine selves then that's all that we can be. I do always feel that newcomers are welcomed and included x

Dolphin Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 6:44pm

Probably the only way to become an 'insider' is to comment and people start to recognise your style. I felt like an outsider to start with, but I think that had more to do with my own insecurities. Now I just put my oar in and it helps me think through things. It's nice to be recognised, but not necessary because ultimately this is a virtual support group and it's up to us if it gives us insights or not... As to short forms - if some of us choose long names....!!!!

Jul Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 6:49pm

Hello Michael. I totally get where you are coming from. I used to comment much more than I do now and that's because I felt I dominated the comments at one point. Also one's life changes in subtle ways and I didn't feel the need maybe to comment so much. So my answer to you would patient as I think the balance of genders will change in time. No-one here wants to be seen as part of a clique and those who comment are so helpful and only writing when they feel it helps others and themselves so one cannot accuse the site of being anything really other than compassionate and altruistic. Certainly not a girly or ladies site. Valerie posted a wonderful blog the other day which produced some stunning comments from men but these have stopped. Why do you think this is? I am with ratg when she said she doesn't feel comfortable in all female groups. I don't either. But I need the support of Moodscope whatever gender contributes. Please don't be put off. Perhaps using the gender issue is an excuse for something else preventing you from posting? I loved your comment just now and would like to hear more from you. And don't forget Hopeful One. A very male contributor if ever there was one! Jul xx

Molly Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 7:14pm

Hi Michael, I sometimes feel like this but it's a case of joining in, commenting, maybe also blogging - if you want to become more of a part of it. With regard to more women than men, I think generally women just do open up more which has been said recently, along with the blog requesting more men as mentioned above, I'm not sure what else can be done if males don't want to comment. As for initials, they are generally used for everyone as it's easier if they have a long name. So Room above the garage became RATG for instance, Hopeful One became HO, etc. The Gardener, a lot of people call her TG, but I call her Gardener. There is no secret code going on. I also strongly feel that (although some people have got to know eachother and may have contact outside of this site) new people ARE welcomed, in fact I get the feeling they are very much encouraged to return. So even though you might feel like you do, please try not to, just muck in ! We are all in the same boat ! I'm glad you voiced your concerns and were honest about how you feel. They really are a nice civilised bunch here. Molly xx

Leah Wed, Sep 6th 2017 @ 1:56am

Michael Thanks for taking time to express how you feel. I am sorry you feel the website is dominated by one group and you don't feel welcome. I agree with Jul that I don't think that it is just a male female thing. I didn't comment a lot at first. I did feel that everyone seemed to know everyone but when I started to blog and comment people would be friendly and welcoming. There are many blogs that I don't relate to and not for gender reasons. I think it is good to have a diversity of topics. I live on the other side of the world but I have always been made welcome. Do you have any ideas to make people not feel they are not included. Jul, like you I cut down my comments because I thought I was commenting too much. I know you have always made new names feel welcome and your comments are always kind and helpful. Molly has explained that Moodscopers are a nice bunch. Michael, I hope you write a blog and continue to comment . Thanks again for your comments. Leah

Michael Wed, Sep 6th 2017 @ 8:45am

Morning. I opened up this page today with an amount of dread in case I had upset anyone. I’m so relieved that it seems that I haven’t. My point isn’t really about gender. A regular group of users will be made up of a random selection of people and so the ‘flavour’ of the blog could have gone in any direction, and may well change over time. I suppose it’s more about sharing my experience of online spaces appearing to naturally gravitate towards being for a small group. Knowledge is power – so an awareness of such a phenomenon might help to mitigate it. And I know you are all lovely people and would welcome any new contributors, but at the same time, if there seems to be an established group then, like it or not, that initial impression could make it feel daunting for some new users to get involved, especially if they are feeling isolated, exhausted, miserable etc. I wish I could offer up some sort solution rather than just highlighting a potential problem. Thanks everyone for being so understanding.

Valerie Wed, Sep 6th 2017 @ 10:04am

Morning Michael, Like others,I can only agree with you.My own idea of hell would be going on a hen party. I am involved in dog rescue,and when rehoming a dog where there is already one in situ the mix most likely to succeed is dog and bitch (the bitch usually becomes the dominant one)next best is 2 males-they sort out the dog politics between them and usually come to some accommodation,which may involve initial scrapping.Hardest can be getting 2 bitches to live together amicably-known as "2 women in a kitchen scenario" Too many women can get a bit cliquey,I felt nervous at first. I know it must be hard for men to join in,do they even want to? My other half offered to help a male blind friend of mine with an outdoor repair.They had never met.My friend told me later that as OH was leaving he said "That's a great shed you've got there".Praise indeed coming from him.My friend,never having seen the shed, was also pleased and flattered that another man approved of it.The male equivalent of a nice warm hug? I am rambling a bit here,slept badly,but please all you men-give it a go.Have you ever had your sister/mother/ex tell you "you know she's waiting for you to ask her out-what's stopping you?"

Caroline Ashcroft Wed, Sep 6th 2017 @ 11:20am

Hi Mary, we are thinking about a forum to allow different threads to be explored because the larger the community gets I think there will definitely be a need for it.

Caroline Ashcroft Wed, Sep 6th 2017 @ 11:25am

Michael, you made your point very well and didn't offend anyone I'm sure. I know what you mean but also don't really have any answers at the moment apart from other members being very welcoming and encouraging when new people do join in. Maybe we need to write an intro at the top of the page actively encouraging new people - it might help. Caroline

Valerie Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 5:11pm


Lovely blog,so wise.

I honestly do believe in fairies.My mother was Irish,and members of her family saw leprachauns.Admittedly most of them "enjoyed a drink" but the only teetotal one (i.e.drank white wine only) had a scar inflicted by a cross banshee sitting on the sea wall.
I also believe in the Loch Ness Monster,Abominable Snowman and Bigfoot.

Sadly,I now believe that Knights in shining armour are the stuff of folk myth-and I have searched long and hard.

That wonderful helpless childlike laughter is the best anti-depressant ever.I am off to order a bubble machine,will see if I can get our daft dogs chasing around. x

Jul Tue, Sep 5th 2017 @ 6:54pm

Thank you for your blog today ratg. I have been thinking of and visualising bubbles all day. And when I was walking home this morning ..because of your blog, I pictured a photo I have of my two children sitting on a wall with their backs to the camera looking out over at a field in the Yorkshire Dales with the hills in the distance. A picture of innocence and one I treasure. Jul xx

Ach UK Wed, Sep 6th 2017 @ 6:09am

Thanks Ratg,
Reading your blog made me smile.
Carly Simon wrote a very evocative little song about childhood - " It was so easy then " which always brings back evocative pictures.
If it is permitted:

It Was So Easy
I remember a time, rompin' through the woods
Sun against our skin instead of clothes
When we felt hungry we would eat, when we felt glad we'd dance
And whenever we felt drowsy we would doze

It was so easy then never takin' any stands
It was so easy then, holdin' hands

I remember a time when our fears could be named
And courage meant not refusing dares
I remember when we took such cares to step never on the cracks,
No only on the squares
Or else we'd be abducted by the bears. . . . .

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