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I am Worthy. A guide to self-worth. Sunday July 6, 2014

The two words 'I am' form an extremely powerful statement, for whatever words you use after them create a powerful affirmation. Being aware of the words you use, either in thought or the spoken word is very important and is something that needs your attention on a daily basis. Energy follows thought, so mastering your thoughts has a major impact on your outer world experiences.

A great way to turn things around for yourself is first and foremost in promoting your own self-worth. Do you let yourself believe that another person 'makes you feel' a certain way? Nobody has such power to 'make us feel'. We hold our own power within ourselves and now is the time to take responsibility for our own thoughts, words and actions.

To begin, we need to focus on filling up our own cup of Love. Imagine you have a small cup in your heart centre. Do you remember the song Magic Penny? It clearly states that Love is something if you give it away, you end up having more. But what if your cup is empty? What if you have over exerted yourself and shown love to others but not saved any for yourself? It is NOT selfish to think of yourself first. It is self-worth and self- Love.

So begin by doing something on a daily basis for YOU. Have a rest, read a book, take a bath, with NO guilt attached. Begin to fill up your own cup with love and the more you do this, the more you will notice how strong you feel. You then have resources to care for others and in return you get the love sent back to you, but only if you don't let your own cup run dry! Maintain the flowing of this love in your heart by giving and receiving unconditionally and notice how much stronger you begin to feel. Small steps, day by day.

A Moodscope member.

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Anne Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 7:53am

Thank you Julie. Timely - wise & much needed x

Anonymous Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 7:56am

Dear Julie - you have had to learn 'the hard way ', so you should know. I'm trying
to have a rest apres dejeuner, It's helping !

Anonymous Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 9:32am

Wise words. I was shocked recently to hear these song lyrics: 'The best part of me... is you'. I wanted to shout Nooooo at the top of my voice but no one else seemed to think them odd!

Anonymous Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 10:19am

I recommend twenty minutes mindfulness every day. It's the best gift I can give myself daily, the benefits are all encompassing. From improved sleep, to better moodscope scores and so better relationships too.
I don't quite understand why everyone isn't doing it, or is resistant to it, you don't know what your missing, the life improvements are profound.

Anonymous Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 11:13am

Hi Julie. Thank you for your post. I believe however that I can't control what thoughts come up for me, just as I can't control what feelings come up; and trying to do so has just set me up to try and attain the unattainable, and to ruminate in my head far too much trying to solve the problems preventing me from being able to do so. However I agree that while I can't control what thoughts or feelings come up, I can create new positive helpful thoughts to throw into the 'mix of what might come up' by utilising such 'I am' statements just as you described. But that which I think is possible to actually become under my control a lot more (with practice) is how I choose to respond to the thoughts and feelings that come up. Consciously choosing the values important to me and acting in ways that support these values is what I can have control over. I am not my thoughts, often these are just learned unhelpful thoughts that I have been programmed to think because of my upbringing which like you said unfortunately influence my feelings and energy levels. My true power and agency lies in what I choose to DO. Focusing on trying to change and control this has brought about much more positive change for me than trying to control my thoughts because I suppose it has weakened the power that unhelpful thoughts have on me but also given me a helpful new helpful set of beliefs about myself.

I once tried to pretend to myself that noone can make me feel anything which made me feel a bit stronger for a while and I learned more about how i could positively influence my feelings which was helpful too. However it also caused me to deny the real affects an emotionally abusive relationship was having on me, as now I set myself this incredibly difficult maxim that I should be able to not be affected by him because 'noone can make me feel anything'. This maxim became just another maxim to beat myself up with. From experience I personally feel that to some extent this statement is not true; other people do influence my feelings, at least initially! So in a way they do make me feel things! This belief seems also dangerous to me as it seems to take away our responsibility to each other undercutting a social consciousness and to some extent seems to deny the intense sociability of human nature.

I would love to know other people's thoughts on the above.

Best wishes,

heather Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 12:02pm

Dear Julie, I love your blog - it makes me feel so relaxed and able to do what I want. I'm really quite worried about taking time out to type this poem, but I am so happy you requested to read it (hope it's not too long) and for those that didn't read yesterday's comments - it is about my experience at 14 year old when an old woman walked into my bedroom and my mother went to pieces and told me my Grandmother had just died. I didn't know I had a Grandmother - she left six children (my Mum was 2) and was exiled from the family. She lived her life as a bag lady, looked after by the wonderful Salvation Army, but was always around trying to catch a glimpse of her children and grandchildren. When I developed "Manic Depression" in my twenties I realised I had inherited it from her and wrote this fantasy poem. I hope somehow or other, she knows. More details on previous blog.

For my Grandmother:

I saw an old woman with hair like fairies' down
Her clothes were tattered and torn.
Her face was fragile as finest china,
Her eyes like a babe new born -
So blue, so wide, so innocent, yet wise.

I asked her why she was always around
And yet had nowhere to go,
She carried a bag - it was full to the brim -
The contents did not show.
She fathomed deep inside the bag
And found without complaint
A tiny vase of crystal blue
The writing on it faint.
I strained my eyes to read the words
She wanted me to see
It was handpainted by herself and she looked in my eyes
And said "I was an outcast left in the cold to die,
But now I'm happy, have no fear, I'll always be around",
And then it seemed she disappeared with neither sight nor sound.

I clutched the tiny china vase and thought it was a dream,
But there it was tight in my hand and I knew I had "seen"
My wandering gypsy grandmother of whom I had been told,
So beautiful, so fragile - so young and yet so old.

If only, oh if only she had let me take her home
And give her tea in china cups made from the finest bone.
If only, oh if only, she had let me hold her tight,
Not left me just to wonder how she spends each lonely night.
And as I sit and wonder about things she did and said
I can't believe that it was true - they told me she was dead.

Anonymous Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 12:56pm

I agree others do have power to make us feel good or bad. We can choose to avoid those that have a negative affect but as humans we are affected by the behaviour of others that's a fact. If your immune to others behaviour or actions you become feelingless.

Caroline Ashcroft Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 5:18pm

Hi Heather, I absolutely love your poem about the grandmother. Such a shame you didn't get a chance to get to know her. x

Mary Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 5:44pm

Heather, that's just so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I'm sure you will and do handle the manic depression so much better than your grandmother. We have so much more help these days, and our parents and grandparents didn't have Moodscope!

Mary Blackhurst Hill Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 5:44pm

Wise words indeed, Julie.

heather Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 7:54pm

Thank you so much Caroline and Mary. I made this apology before but it seems to have been "gobbled up". It was Julia who requested this poem, not Julie. Sorry Julie. I am embarrassed, but this is for all the billions of people who have suffered mental illness without any understanding, support or medical help, just one of them being my Grandmother.

Anonymous Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 8:46pm

Hi Julie; great blog - so true; I have tried several times today to post but my post disappears when I revisit - despite appearing briefly! Frankie

Anonymous Sun, Jul 6th 2014 @ 10:20pm

Yes,yes, YES! This is so true, but it has taken me years to understand this and even more years to really believe it. I am getting there thanks to CBT counselling, Louise Hay's affirmations (I am my own authority; I am divinely guided in all I do) and this wonderful Moodscope community with your support and many nuggets of wisdom. Thank-you one and all. Great blog Julie - thank-you; so true but a daily challenge to achieve. Frankie

Ali Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 9:22am

Many thanks for this Julie, it really is true and is something I have been finding so hard to do. Now I am slowly starting to get the concept and it does help. Yes, it does feel selfish to start with but no, it really isn't - it's vital. If we don't love ourselves how can we love others properly? Thank you x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:00am

Glad you liked it Anne. Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:01am

Glad you gave yourself a rest. My path has been a difficult one but am stronger for it now and have learned lots! Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:03am

Maybe we should shout it together, Lol! I'm with you on this one. Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:07am

I hear what you're saying and totally agree with you. People have to realise in their own time though. We can't make anyone else 'get it' as such. Life is so different for me if I don't meditate and there are so many online programmes about that it's easy to get started. Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:17am

Hello Kathy and Anonymous, I totally hear where you are coming from and it has taken me a long time to strengthen myself so that I don't let others make me feel a certain way. It can't just happen over night. That is why my blog is about loving yourself first. Small steps, day by day, as stated, is empowering for yourself and helps to bring inner strength because you are giving that positivity to yourself. I am in NO way feelingless, far from it, but I CAN choose whether I let myself be affected by things or not, doesn't mean I don't ever get affected but when it happens I look for the area within myself that needs strengthening and work on it from there. It's all part of the journey and there is no time limit. Positive Affirmations and Meditation help with the process. Energy Healing Treatments have also aided me in a huge way to release things that no longer serve me and I have to say they sped up the recovery for me too. Thank you for your comments. Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:24am

Heather, you're poem is beautiful and so touching. Thank you for sharing and well done for putting it 'out there', That's scary in itself! I have been treating a client with manic depression for the past 7 months with Crystal/Reiki and she has really found a balance in her life now and is feeling much stronger and more confident within her own thoughts and actions. Energy healing really does help if you are open to it. Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:26am

Thank you Mary. Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:27am

No need to apologise Heather. I'm really glad you got to share your poem. Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:29am

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. My posts kept disappearing yesterday too! Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:32am

Definitely a daily challenge. You always have to be on your own case! I love Louise Hay and also Wayne Dyer. Inspirational people! Julie x

Anonymous Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 11:37am

Hi Ali, glad you liked it. Yes we must love and honour ourselves first. It really is like that Magic Penny! It's very empowering but begin small each day and it will gradually build and strengthen. Julie x

Julia Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 2:22pm

Heather. Thank you. What a lovely poem. None of us truly knows what happens after death, so your desire that your grandmother is watching over you, could well be right.

heather Mon, Jul 7th 2014 @ 9:26pm

Julie, thank you for letting me butt into your blog. I love and enjoy all sorts of complementary treatments whenever I can and whenever I can afford it ! I am quite sure many of them have helped me a lot and, yes, just being open to help, helps in itself!

Julia, thank you so much for encouraging me to share my poem about my Grandmother - and, yes I do like to think that anything is possible regarding what happens after we die. I think it makes life more worth living. Love from Heather x

tracy Sat, Jul 12th 2014 @ 1:58pm

It’s too easy to keep busy every day and have no time left at the end of it to do something just for yourself. I usually don’t get to relax until 10pm or even later but then I have a shower or a bath and read my book to wind down. I find that if I don’t do this I have a restless night’s sleep and wake up grumpy! Learning about food nutrition and what my body likes has helped my sleeping pattern and sense of being heaps.

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