Hypomania - my strategy.

Thursday December 15, 2016

It's not easy for the people around me when I'm depressed, but it's not impossible for them to recognise it or to understand that it's an illness, that I can't help it, and that I don't mean to be that way.

I think it's harder for them to see the hypomania side as an illness. I seem so happy, so carefree, so selfish. I put my need to run around enjoying myself above everyone and everything else. I interrupt a heartfelt story to prattle on about utter nonsense. I ignore my family's wish for me spend time with them because I would rather be dancing. I crave adventure. I need excitement.

And that's the thing about it. It's a need. I don't just want to be off enjoying myself; I can't stop myself. I can see what it's doing to my family and friends but I just can't not, however hard I try. Somewhere in my head, I know that I am going to regret it, I know that I don't want to hurt those I love, but it's like watching a car crash. I can see what's going to happen but I have no power to stop it. And that's hard for those on the outside to understand.

Let's face it, it's hard for me to understand and I'm the one doing it. So, I get scared when I get high. Scared that this time I'm going to finally go too far and lose everyone. That when I come down, I'll have nothing left: no friends, no family, no money, no job, nothing. I still can't stop though.

That's why I've come up with a new strategy. First, I talk about it when I'm stable, trying to explain how it is for me. Then, when I start to ascend, I allow myself to enjoy it. I try to eat and sleep when I can, but I ride it out cheerfully. I make a promise that any big decisions have to be run by at least two close friends and their opinion is final. And then, I stop fighting it. So far, it's working out.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 22 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive


Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.