Part 2 of 2
Moodscope was a blessing: every day, I couldn't wait to read the new article in the morning, where I read about people going through the same "sickness". I found myself in those articles. The tool gave me a way to be more in control of how I was feeling: I could see a chart that put in an image the way I felt in the last days, appreciate my good days and understand my bad ones.
Slowly, I got myself out of it. Slowly, things in my mind started to feel and look better. It was the most difficult thing I had to do in my life. I had to fight myself to win my life back. There were some relapse moments, but I was much more confident I could overcome them. I know now how courageous I was to battle it alone and I also know it is a powerful illness that needs to be known and talked about.
Depression is a horrible place. I believe no one can truly understand what a person going through a depression is thinking or feeling, other than another one who went through it. This is why I choose to speak about that time in my life whenever there's talk about depression or suicide. This is why I tell depressed people they have to be gentle to themselves, have patience and keep fighting. It's a long and horrible journey, but the prize at the end of it is worth it. And the prize is our beautiful life.
I have gained an appreciation of life that I didn't have before all this happened. The moment I realized I got out of depression, I felt so incredibly proud and powerful. And worthy to live and be loved. A veil had been lifted off my mind and I started to see the world in such wonderful colours. I felt I had crossed on the other side of the abyss and there was life there.
Please, love yourself and know you are worthy to live and be loved. Please ask for help and you will see that you will receive it.
With all my love,
A Moodscope member.