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June


How are you coping with life? Thursday June 26, 2014

Here are a few ways that help me cope:

1) Acceptance! By allowing myself to surrender to the things that I cannot change, or that I cannot change quickely I find that allowing myself to just accept them rather than fighting them in my head, I save myself a lot of frustration. By doing this you also see the situation from a different view point and with all that saved up energy you can be more productive and imaginative in how you change things...although once accepted, I sometimes find that the situation isn't half as bad as I thought anyway. Thoughts sometimes have a habit of making a situation negative.

2) I become my own best friend. I learn to like myself and not beat myself up for every mistake. I offer myself encouraging words when I am feeling a bit low or have taken a bit of a knock. I allow myself time and comfort myself when I have taken a bit of a knock. Rather than getting back on the horse straight away I give myself some recovery time and then words of encouragement to get out there again, this time stronger and more determined. I no longer wish I was or looked any different to how I do. I embrace it and the more I do so the more energy I save and the more full of vitality I look, and the more time I have to spend on doing things that enrich my life and take the focus off all the things I previously dwelled on too much.

3) Life sometimes works in paradoxical weird ways and it is sometimes hard to see or feel a situation for what it is. Sometimes things we think make us happy can sometimes be the things that make us sad/frustrated/obsessed with and the things we think are a bit difficult, straining, not fun can sometimes be the things that actually make us feel full up and happy inside. Taking quiet reflective time to really listen very carefully to how we feel about a situation, rather than how we think we see a situation can give you massive clues as to who or what to steer clear of. It can sometimes be difficult to figure out but by listening to these subtle sounds can clear the mind and heart so life can be joyful again!

Happiness takes work on yourself, some hard decisions, patience and persistance but is worth it.

Lisa
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

Bunnykins Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 8:34am

That's so helpful, thank you.

Mary Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 8:54am

Wise words indeed.

Ash Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 9:03am

This is one of the best Moodscope pieces I have read for some time. Thank you.

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 10:19am

This is really good, thank you Lisa. I'd be interested in hearing more about your #3. I really try hard to recognise exactly what are my feelings about certain situations/people, but I struggle to keep my focus (and instead find myself thinking about those things when I shouldn't be, such as in meetings at work). I want to get better at it, so any comments welcome! Thank you.
~Curly~

heather Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 10:23am

What a lovely attitude you have to life, Lisa. I have taken note ! Love Heather x

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 10:33am

Many thanks - that is just how I feel - so much so that I printed it out and put it on my noticeboard where the family can see it - and mainly me!!!

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 11:26am

Wow thank you! I was regretting writing this really quickly the day I was asked to write it but sometimes I think un-thought about and un-filtered is the best way to go!

Anonymous re. #3 I sometimes notice that i am reluctant to do something, or see someone and i will think of a million reasons why or how i can get out of it.....This can sometimes (in my experience) be a sign that that is exactly the one thing i should be doing. and by doing it, whether or not it turns out to be 'fun' or not is irrelevant as the experience in itself does something marvellous for the soul. I am not talking about forcing yourself to go out somewhere you don’t particularly want to go because you feel obliged I’m talking about things there is a real real resistance to doing that plays on your mind a lot. This is the bit that gets confusing as the mind will convince you that you are right not to do it but your mind doesn’t always know what’s best for you. Paradoxically (my favourite word)....there may be something to which you have no resistance that is an old favourite, tried and tested way of making yourself feel better, sometimes it even has negative consequences but its familiar and therefore safe....you may attach fun, feel good feelings to these activities but I believe this is just like an ingrained old habit pulling me back. it’s tempting, comforting (for a while) but there are reasons why i had moved on from this......it may be fun, but it robs me of that deep seated consistently peaceful feeling of joy and happiness that you can carry around everywhere.

This same form of questioning oneself can be transferred to other little challenges you can set yourself! and with each challenge embarked on the fuller I become.

I hope i managed to explain that a bit better?

XXX
Lisa

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 12:24pm

Thanks Lisa, it's a lovely summation of the way I try to be. Sometimes I don't just treat myself as a friend but as if I am nurturing my child. It allows me to soothe the troubled child within. And isn't it lovely when you get that flash of realisation "I am happy!"

Julia Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 12:24pm

I am glad you went through with writing this Lisa!

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 12:40pm

I could write all day about this!

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 12:44pm

I agree, there are parts of us that are still that hurt child that needed something that we didnt get. So when someone hits a nerve and the inner child pops up this is a great second opportunity to sooth the child and heal the pain. IT happened to me recently. It was really realy powerful and took me a while to realise what was happening but i have definately grown because of it. Again is required commpassion for yourself and patience. ITs taking the time to deal with whats on teh inside rather than the pulls and tubulance on the outside.

Lisa

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 2:42pm

Keep it simple, one day at a time and if that is too difficult then one minute at a time. Do it now or do something else, life is too short to sit and think about it!

Mr_MarkO Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 4:04pm

Thanks for the reminder about acceptance Lisa. It is amazing how my soul reacts immediately when it hears what it needs. Acceptance + gratitude = joy and contentment. Today I choose to accept my circumstances (crummy pointless job) and be grateful (for your words of encouragement).

Anonymous Thu, Jun 26th 2014 @ 11:44pm

The Serenity Prayer may help -God, help me to change the things I can change, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference

Theresa NZ Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 5:02am

WOW this blog is one of my favourites so far. It really captureswhat i am trying to do since my breakdown. Thank you Lisa. I especially liked the part about how sometimes the things which are good for us may require some effort. So true. Love it. I want to share it on FB!!

Anonymous Sun, Jun 29th 2014 @ 10:26pm

My Gosh, Lisa that was so great! A fellow sufferer of mine just posted the link into a facebook group I'm in and what you're writing about acceptance, finally I've now started to feel and be able to start practicing it (I'm in my late 30s) so what you started talking about doesn't feel alien to me but then the middle part- about when we feel like we want to avoid a situation, well your take on it has helped me so much with something I'm going through precisely at this point in time! And then when that person asked you to elaborate- your elaboration helped too! Also, I know exactly what you mean about how it is often that we are at our best when we don't think too much! People like us don't realise that because we usually over think, when we think we're not thinking we're probably just back to am average amount of thinking! If that makes sense! I'm also so grateful that you didn't back out of doing this piece. It is so wonderful and thank you very very much. You're blessed. x

Misread Tue, Jul 15th 2014 @ 10:42pm

A life with no stress? Better go live on an island then…….Living is stressful in itself and,of course, everyone needs some kind of stress so we don’t get knocked over when we step out into traffic. However, our bodies are fine tuned and when we start feeling out of sorts (or stressed-blood pressure up,heart pounding etc) this is our natural wake up call to take time out and slow down.
But we don’t take any notice most of the time; sometimes we can’t slow down we just need to keep going so our bodies wear out of energy and then we shut down and things become more and more difficult to do. Actions that were second nature now take an eternity and we lose the ability to think clearly,speak or take the action required. Eventually our bodies grind to a halt. Some people end up in hospital sectioned or voluntary admittance; others just crawl into bed and draw up the bridge to keep others out. The light at the end of the tunnel is far away but slowly after days,weeks or months we become ourselves again.
Until the next time. We need to ensure that there is NO next time………


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