Hopes and Fears

Tuesday September 14, 2021

Remember me Attic? So full of hope living in a spare room to care for Mum and Dad?

What a shocking nightmare the last six months have proved to be. I honestly do not know  now looking back how I managed to survive. Sound dramatic?

My father treated me, still treats me like something he found under his shoe. He hasn't spoken to me in months. My mother cries because of this often in my room silently in case he hears. She is afraid of him I think.

I don’t know what has happened to my family.

I have tried. I have cried. I have consoled and sunk very low. I am not wanted here as I am making things worse for my mother.

So. I have had to leave. I have bought a house nearby and moved again. My belongings were in storage and there was a fire at the units and a lot of people, including me, lost possessions. 
How unlucky can a person be? I have worked overtime to replace some items.

I cannot help thinking this is my father's fault. He asked me to come he wanted me there.

He hates me now. I don’t know why. I am broken again.

I still walk with my mother, I still feel her love, but I am not the same, I am not whole.

A Moodscope member.

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