Help! When did this happen?

10 Feb 2014
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I signed-up to Moodscope after a doctor friend of mine declared one day she felt I was depressed. It perhaps takes a friend of more than 20 years to get through to you, but it still came as a surprise. I shared this conversation with my wife, whereupon she stated that she too knew I was depressed. Help! When did this happen?

I have always been one to over analyse something and can derive major anxiety from simple tasks like buying a replacement mobile phone. What if there's a better model (yet to be discovered), or there's one negative review out of a pool of otherwise positive comments. I can turn this self-doubt into a major issue and blame myself for not being able to take a decision. However, anxiety can easily build and overcome you; often you don't see it coming.

Through the Moodscope cards I discovered some of the triggers for my mood changes and set about finding ways to avoid them. A colleague who is a passive bully is now avoided; I've deleted old emails from him using the mindful tip of never reopening them. I also had to manage somebody who was in a much deeper depression than myself; I have found a colleague who has agreed to take this person off me.

I never realised how hard it was to manage somebody who themselves was depressed, it takes energy that you cannot afford to spare. Without this management burden, I'm able to see things in perspective and can start building a better year. We all need friends to share worries, but better still is somebody who can shoulder one for you.

Mike

A Moodscope user.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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Comments

Neil

Feb. 10, 2014, 12:50 p.m.

A very good blog posting Mike. I can relate.

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Julia

Feb. 10, 2014, 2:04 p.m.

I had some difficulty opening the page for comments on your blog Mike and only just managed it. Maybe others have too It sounds as if you have had excellent support at work. I am sure 2014 will be a better year for you.

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Mary Blackhurst Hill

Feb. 10, 2014, 4:32 p.m.

Good One Mike. Yes, often we know we're depressed, because depression is not always like its PR.Fantastic that you've been able to take steps to reduce the load. Love the one of not reopening emails from the bully. I will pass that onto my poor beleaguered husband who is suffering a (not so passive) bullying.

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PaganLis

Feb. 10, 2014, 8:11 p.m.

I'm suffering from work-related stress, and also had a period of depression at the end of 2013 - if I thought my boss was saying that supporting me was taking energy she 'couldn't afford to spare' and viewing me as a 'burden', it would absolutely finish me off! I appreciate the sentiment, and am genuinely pleased you've found a way to manage things, but people who are already feeling that they're a burden to those around them would take such comments really personally.

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Diana

Feb. 11, 2014, 6:47 a.m.

Hallo Mike - I've never heard of " passive bullying ". Please can anyone explain ?

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Silvia A

Feb. 12, 2014, 3:26 a.m.

Yes, a very good one.

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Diana

Feb. 12, 2014, 8:46 a.m.

O.K. I'll answer my own question. Perhaps it means deliberately ignoring someone, often in front of others ? It could mean just not responding to attempts from another/ others who are trying to 'communicate ' in some way ? ( No implications made here - as this a two-days old subject ! )

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Anonymous

Feb. 13, 2014, 7:48 a.m.

I think you are on track Diana, that sort of behaviour, I would also imagine slightly dismissive comments that if picked up on could easily be explained rationaly so the victim looks paranoid if they make a fuss...

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Anonymous

Feb. 13, 2014, 7:56 a.m.

Hiya, not all bosses suffer from depression themselves and so this isn't going to be an issue for all situations. This is just Mikes personal situation. If you had to manage someone whilst in your period of depression could you have handled it? I suspect some folks could and some would have to ask for help, every situation is unique, don't let his situation get you down. Sometimes it can help to step outside your personal perspective and view the elements of your situation and re-evaluate.

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