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Help! When did this happen? Monday February 10, 2014

I signed-up to Moodscope after a doctor friend of mine declared one day she felt I was depressed. It perhaps takes a friend of more than 20 years to get through to you, but it still came as a surprise. I shared this conversation with my wife, whereupon she stated that she too knew I was depressed. Help! When did this happen?

I have always been one to over analyse something and can derive major anxiety from simple tasks like buying a replacement mobile phone. What if there's a better model (yet to be discovered), or there's one negative review out of a pool of otherwise positive comments. I can turn this self-doubt into a major issue and blame myself for not being able to take a decision. However, anxiety can easily build and overcome you; often you don't see it coming.

Through the Moodscope cards I discovered some of the triggers for my mood changes and set about finding ways to avoid them. A colleague who is a passive bully is now avoided; I've deleted old emails from him using the mindful tip of never reopening them. I also had to manage somebody who was in a much deeper depression than myself; I have found a colleague who has agreed to take this person off me.

I never realised how hard it was to manage somebody who themselves was depressed, it takes energy that you cannot afford to spare. Without this management burden, I'm able to see things in perspective and can start building a better year. We all need friends to share worries, but better still is somebody who can shoulder one for you.

A Moodscope user.

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Neil Mon, Feb 10th 2014 @ 12:50pm

A very good blog posting Mike. I can relate.

Julia Mon, Feb 10th 2014 @ 2:04pm

I had some difficulty opening the page for comments on your blog Mike and only just managed it. Maybe others have too
It sounds as if you have had excellent support at work.
I am sure 2014 will be a better year for you.

Mary Blackhurst Hill Mon, Feb 10th 2014 @ 4:32pm

Good One Mike. Yes, often we know we're depressed, because depression is not always like its PR.Fantastic that you've been able to take steps to reduce the load. Love the one of not reopening emails from the bully. I will pass that onto my poor beleaguered husband who is suffering a (not so passive) bullying.

PaganLis Mon, Feb 10th 2014 @ 8:11pm

I'm suffering from work-related stress, and also had a period of depression at the end of 2013 - if I thought my boss was saying that supporting me was taking energy she 'couldn't afford to spare' and viewing me as a 'burden', it would absolutely finish me off! I appreciate the sentiment, and am genuinely pleased you've found a way to manage things, but people who are already feeling that they're a burden to those around them would take such comments really personally.

Diana Tue, Feb 11th 2014 @ 6:47am

Hallo Mike - I've never heard of " passive bullying ". Please can anyone explain ?

Silvia A Wed, Feb 12th 2014 @ 3:26am

Yes, a very good one.

Diana Wed, Feb 12th 2014 @ 8:46am

O.K. I'll answer my own question. Perhaps it means deliberately ignoring
someone, often in front of others ? It could mean just not responding to
attempts from another/ others who are trying to 'communicate ' in some way ? ( No implications made here - as this a two-days old subject ! )

Anonymous Thu, Feb 13th 2014 @ 7:48am

I think you are on track Diana, that sort of behaviour, I would also imagine slightly dismissive comments that if picked up on could easily be explained rationaly so the victim looks paranoid if they make a fuss...

Anonymous Thu, Feb 13th 2014 @ 7:56am

Hiya, not all bosses suffer from depression themselves and so this isn't going to be an issue for all situations. This is just Mikes personal situation. If you had to manage someone whilst in your period of depression could you have handled it? I suspect some folks could and some would have to ask for help, every situation is unique, don't let his situation get you down. Sometimes it can help to step outside your personal perspective and view the elements of your situation and re-evaluate.

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