Moodscope's blog



Heavy Handed Help. Thursday December 1, 2016

Have you ever opened up to someone about something painful, only to be told that it was your own fault? That "You should've... or "You shouldn't have..."?

Has anyone told you "That's a self fulfilling prophesy" i.e. You brought it on yourself, or even worse, "You'll draw bad things to you if you think like that."!

One of the things that I love about Moodscope is that people are honest, compassionate and well meaning. It feels safe, even to disagree.

I've learned so much from others on here that has really helped me.

Often I am moved by or can identify with someone's pain. I'll sometimes offer someone a tip that has helped me. I try to show them that I get how they feel and if I do suggest something that I have personally found helpful, I'll say "Maybe..." or "Perhaps..." so that whether they find the suggestion useful is an option. They have a choice. I run the risk of them feeling patronised, but it seems worth it if there's a chance it might ease or help them to protect themselves from experiencing the same pain again.

Personally, if I tell a trusted person of my pain, I want to hear that they understand how I feel. Maybe they've experienced the same, totally get where I'm coming from and that I'm not alone.

I often want reassurance, or to hear someone say that what that person did was unacceptable.

Not my fault, but their issue!

From a position of feeling safe and supported, I'm more open to other possibilities or points of view.

For me, "helping" is about intent. If the intent is negative, e.g. "To teach you a lesson" or "Being cruel to be kind", that's how I receive it. Negatively.

If the intent is positive and I trust that it's coming from a good heart, not blaming, instructing or directing, but the offering of a kind gift, I will receive it as such. I feel safe enough to consider it with an open mind and not feel threatened by it. Free to choose whether there's something that I can take onboard, incase it provides me with some relief, inspiration or support.

If there is something to add to my toolbox from someone who gets it, I am truly grateful.

For me, being gentle with people's feelings isn't mollycoddling them, it's being respectful.

I also respect that not everyone will agree.

A challenge for me has been to find compassion when my pain has been triggered. Challenging, but possible.

I love this quote that sums it up for me.

"Whenever you have truth, it must be given with love, otherwise the messenger and the message will be rejected".

Wishing peace and harmony to all.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 4:52am

Good morning all, I am still struggling with sleep deprivation which always comes with my "high" phase. This is Day 11 of 3 hours or less sleep. Hence the ungodly hour of this message. Mentally I feel great although lack of sleep makes me feel physically and emotionally jittery.
Lillypet I loved this blog. It was clear, concise and immensely helpful in unravelling some of my own thoughts about who and how to seek support and how that support is given.
I too, want reassurance and understanding. I am very lucky. I have a good support network around me but sometimes their words of advice can leave me feeling much worse about myself. Clearly that was not their intention and I recognise that. I truly believe that unless you have experienced depression you cannot fully understand its debilitating effects. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy so I really don't want my friends and family to fully understandit if that means that they have to suffer too.
I love your quote at the end Lillypet. I have a book of notes and quotes that help me through my darkest times. Your final quote has gone straight in to by boook.
Thank you Lillypet for bringing me further undertanding of my condition and the benefits and/or pitfalls of receiving help.
Wishing you all a day filled with love and truth.
Tychi's Mum

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 7:59am

Thank you TM. The quote is from Mahatma Ghandi, I hope you manage to find a way of getting into a restful sleep routine. LP xx

Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 4:57am

Just as an aside, I haven't had a chance to read the blogs and comments for a few days. Tutti Frutti, Mary Wednesday and Caroline Ashcroft thank you for your comments on the "Blog" blog! I have made further comments in response to yours.
Truth and love.
Tychi's Mum.

Leah Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 7:25am

Tychi's Mum, This is a good website about bipolar- it is an Australian organisation that I used be a volunteer ambassador for a for several years. I am sure there are the same in Uk.

Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:53am

Thank you very much for that Leah. I will definitely have a look at it.

Tutti Frutti Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:05am

Hi Tychi's Mum Your list of symptoms in a high securely sounds familiar so you could well have some level of bipolar. I have a good book called the bipolar workbook (I am on the train right now but if you come back on this evening I will find out the author) which talks through things like symptoms of bipolar and the various different types as well as having some helpful exercises about things like prioritising when you are high and general information and examples about meds and other management techniques. I am glad that you are already on a mood stabiliser. I don't know the one you mention. I think fluoxetine is Prozac isn't it? If so I have had it for depression. It doesn't happen to work on me ( though no side effects either) so I have to have venlafaxine but from what I hear fluoxetine is generally quite good/ well tolerated. Hope this helps. Love TF x

Tutti Frutti Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:07am

I think "securely" in first line above should have read "certainly". Oops x

Tychi's Mum Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 3:38am

Hi Leah, i had a look at the black dog institute website which I found very helpful. I took their online bi-polar test and scored 22. It advised that a score of 22 or more has overall accuracy of 80% in detecting bi-polar disorder. Assuming the results to be correct it confirms my suspicion that I AM bi-polar and on the low end of the "spectrum". My treatment plan seems to be the same as it would be if I had an official diagnosis of bi-polar. I am taking a mood stabiliser (Lamotrigine) in conjunction with an anti-depressant (Fluoxetine - aka Prozac) The Lamotrigine doesn't appear to be working...the cycles of depression continue at the same pace and severity as they always have. I've recently been advised to increase the dose of the Lamotrigine fortnightly as required depending on whether I "crash" or remain "well". I live in hope that we will find a treatment plan that helps keep me stable. But, I am four years down the line and trying my fourth medication. Interestingly Venlafaxine did not work for me and caused me to become hypomanic during my "well" periods. I guess it's horses for courses and trial and error. I live in hope but also fear of when the next "crash" will come, during which all hope is gone.

Tychi's Mum Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 4:53am

Hi TF, thank you for the information about the bipolar workbook. I have ordered one online which is specific to bipolar II. It had really good reviews so hopefully I've chosen well.

Linda Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 5:21am

Another fantastic blog! You really hit the spot with your truth such a powerful blog.
I wish you peace & happy days xxx

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:00am

Thanks Linda, much appreciated. LPxx

Leah Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 7:29am

Lovely to see one of your blogs again. I always like your honesty and vulnerability.
Everyone is different, I don't like people saying that they 'know how I feel'even if they have been through something similar. Thats just me. I sometimes say I have no idea what to say, but I am here for you.
Thanks again for another thoughtful blog.

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:10am

Hi Leah, yes like others have said, I haven't had any ideas to write about for sometime, maybe one day the inspiration will flow again! Yes, there are lots of people who feel the same as you do and it's great to explore our differences as well as things we have in common. Sometimes we really dont know what to say, so that's a good honest response. LPxx

Amy Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 7:32am

Hello there, I thought this a great blog Lilypet. I have never written this kind of contact. Just to say. I shared my difficulties with two people. Both rejected me at different times. I have two great friends,but the previous attitude has destroyed my trust of others. With that comes its own difficulty.

Katie Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:14am

today, I wish people would get this, I have few close friends I can be open with, all very busy professional people. neither who deal with mental issues. when I'm low like I am now, minutes feel like hours, social places exhaust me really fast but I crave being with people I now and trust, which my own company isn't loving, caring or trustworthy. does this make sense? I feel so alone and desperate, and all the things my head is screaming at me are so easy to believe. am I truly alone in feeling like this?

Orangeblossom Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:20am

No Katie, our minds can be very harsh & judgemental with us. I have felt like this a lot in the past. Love Orangeblossom

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:04am

Hi Katie, You are definitely not alone in feeling like that especially amongst Moodscopers and you are never alone here either. I've also had that conflict, not feeling up to socialising, especially in groups, but needing someone to be there for me all the same. Maybe good friends don't have to truly get it, just care and be there for you. For me shaking it up and doing something different gets me out of my own head when I'm not in a good place. Getting out into nature helps me too. I dont do gatherings much anymore, definitely not when I'm low. The company of one good friend to the cinema or a gentle yoga or pilates class has been much less challenging! Thankfully I have a friend who will literally collect and deliver me back home as even organising things is too much on top of my chaotic life.! Sometimes friends dont know what would be helpful and have appreciated me saying. So glad you commented Katie and wishing you on your way forward, even if only in the smallest way. LP xx

Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:07am

Katie you are not alone. Even though the Moodscope community cannot be with you physically we can make our prescence felt. I totally understand what you are saying about craving company despite the fact that you feel your own company is somehow lacking. If you do have people that you trust to support you I would suggest trying to spend time with them. When I am in a "crash" I can only bear to spend time with three people. My husband, (he doesn't really have a choice since he lives with me!), my cousin Sarah and a very close friend Sarah. (I call them my two Dr Sarah's). Other than those three I cannot bear to let other friends and family members see me in my most fragile state. When the dark time comes you just have to get through each minute, hour, day however you can. As The Beatles sang; "Whatever gets you through the ni-ight, ni-ight, ni-ight" You truly are not alone. Depression is a bully and it makes you believe things about yourself and others that aren't true. I always tell myself this will pass...this will pass...this will pass...hang on in there. With love, Tychi's Mum

Tutti Frutti Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:23am

Katie Your head screaming horrible stuff at you which is really difficult to stop believing is very familiar. You are absolutely not alone on here. I don't know if you have ever tried CBT but I find it really useful for dealing with the thoughts. It teaches you to fight back by identifying what has gone wrong with each thought and writing down a more rational version. Somehow writing it down gives you the idea it is dealt with and stops the thought whizzing around your head. A CBT trained counsellor is obviously helpful for this but I actually started on my own from a book. The original book I used is "Feeling good" by David Burns MD and I think you can still get it second hand, or there is an updated version you can get called "the feeling good handbook". Hope some of this is helpful. Sorry if you've tried CBT already and it's not your thing. Take care Love TF x

Amy Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 10:06am

I have just started CBT two weeks ago. Stacking faith on it .

the room above the garage Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 4:37pm

Good luck with it Amy. If it helps, great! If it doesn't, there must be something better suited to you to follow. Just keep open. Look forward to hearing how you get on. Love ratg x.

Amy Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 7:40am

Thank you for your reply and contact will do. A

Orangeblossom Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:16am

Thanks for the thought-provoking blog LillyPet. I have really enjoyed reading it!

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:04am

Thanks Orangeblossom! :) xx

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:06am

Off to work I go!

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:39am

Hi Amy, so glad you've commented, welcome :)
It's awful when you share personal things in a trusting way, show your vulnerability then feel that it has been used against you. I also have experienced it with someone I was in a relationship with. I supported him through his recent marriage break up and we were happy, but when he got back on his feet he wanted "freedom" and I was bereft. He used what I'd disclosed to him to justify whathe was doing and I regretted being so open.
I'm a bit more cautious now, but I am who I am. I wouldn't let people like that completely destroy my faith in people generally though, there are some genuinely lovely people out there and I have since met one of them! We've been together for over a year now. He wouldn't hurt a fly and is kind considerate and cares deeply.
If you're struggling because of the actions of those two people, their faults are blocking you. Let them keep their faults I say! Love and best wishes LP :)

Amy Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 10:10am

Thank you Lp for replying, I really appreciate your words of contact. I am sorry that your trust was abused too. It is good you have a better person in your life. Thank you A

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:48pm

Thank you too Amy. Xx

Amy Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 10:04pm

Hi there, not too sure how to blog! Is it always a reply process. Do people go back through the week to look at the comment and if there are any new ones?

Michael Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:18am

Great blog.
I think a lot if this can be explained by emotional intelligence (EI). Just like IQ this varies from individualto individual.
In my experience those with higher EI are also much more empathic. These are the ones who naturally, without trying, are able to be a non judgemental listening presence.
Some personalities are more disposed to relationships, others more towards tasks. A task based individual with lower EI is much more likely to be a "poor" listener and much more likely to throw out opinions and all the things you "should" be "doing" (that is a reflection of how they see the world and what works for them)
Just as we would compasionately make allowances for someone with low IQ, the same must apply to those with low EI and lack of empathy.
We probably therefore have to be mindful of who we open up to?

Tutti Frutti Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:25am

Great point Michael thanks. Love TF x

the room above the garage Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 4:41pm

Hello Michael, quick question...are people with low EI considered to be those with higher IQ? I ask because my ex-partner is very intelligent but was always unable to 'get' depression and so i always felt very unsupported by him. I'm curious.

Michael Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 5:44pm

I'm afraid that it is quite possible to have a very high IQ and low EI and vice verse and all combinations inbetween. And by the way I have had very similar experiences to you!

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 8:55pm

Hi Michael, Thank you. I agree that you've made a good point. I know a few "task" people who seem to get frustrated by emotional "stuff" Another question Do you think it's possible to have high EI yet struggle to control how you express your own emotions? LP

Michael Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 12:09am

Yes I do. I think it is definitely a case of always being a work in process

Tutti Frutti Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:37am

Thanks LP. Lots to think about here. I sometimes think people can surprise you depending on their background and whether they have any professional knowledge. Eg My friend L who is a physio and tends to be brisk in general, gave me a dressing down for being stupid when I pulled my Achilles tendon but was great when I was recovering from depression (and even pretty understanding when I took a long time to psyche myself up for some blood tests she wanted done before treating my elbow). I guess she sees a lot of very stressed people with physical symptoms so has developed more empathy for what's going on mentally than you might expect if you just knew her socially.

Love TF x

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:13pm

Yes, I'm often surprised too! It surprises me how easily worst case scenarios can come from some people and wonder if this is more common in people with medical professions. No generalising, just have noticed it a few times and wonder if there's a link. I'm also really surprised by ( a minority of ) teachers who have a bullying type approach toward children and even more surprised by teachers of vulnerable children who are in management positions and have no clue how to treat or get the best from staff and take a bullying type approach. So it's great to hear about your physio friend who has surprised you in a good way!

The Gardener Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 10:59am

Not quite on the theme - but on 'empathy' and people behaving badly. We have a very good friend (French) of 25 years - his domestic arrangements beggar belief - living with a very odd English woman whose husband lives in the next village. They all have to be invited together. I think I mentioned this yesterday, but it's got worse. This woman broadcasts intimate details far and wide - there is a group of women who do nothing but have coffee and lunch - and they disseminate distorted gossip. Somehow, the weird woman has persuaded her paramour that I am the source of the gossip - flying e-mails, mis-understandings etc. How can you deal with someone, this woman, who in a crowd watching the tour de France said loudly to all and sundry that she would leave the man and go back to the UK if only she had the money. You can imagine how far that gossip went, and I was not even there! People should have better things to do. I desperately need a shoulder to cry on - viz, Moodscope. Mr G is worse than ever (yesterday's post). I don't cry much, but in tiredness, frustration and despair I put my head on my arms and just collapse in tears. Mr G 'Stop crying at once'. If I grit my teeth and do not allow this release in tension it will build up to an hysterical outburst. How DOES one cope with despair, eschewing drink and drugs? Answers on a postcard please (probably merits a thesis).

Michael Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 12:46pm

A philosophical razor (Hanlon's): "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." a more up to date version might substitute stupidity for low emotional intelligence or lack of empathy. That said some people are just plain malicious! As my therapist often reminds me. We can understand the mechanics of someone else's behaviour in minute detail. But that behaviour as received by us on an emotional level can still make us feel dreadful. I can empathise with your current scenario. As I write I am in a great deal of emotional pain. So re your last question "how to cope with despair"? eschewing (good word) drink and drugs. No easy answer I fear. As others have commented on moodscope we are often ticking ALL the boxes and yet we still feel crap!! i.e. I meditate, do yoga, regularly walk the dog (who literally is my best friend), socialise, take loads of supplements (Vit D, B all the way up to Curcumin and CBD oil(nb not psychoactive) and have weekly psychotherapy…but….! I've always been cleaning living but in the last couple of years have taken up smoking a pipe (it gets me going when I am frozen and retarded). I will when things are really bad imbibe some alcohol (but my sister is an alcoholic and I am very aware of slippery slopes). I used valium for the first time two weeks ago (a one did what it said on the tin)..but I know I cannot rely on it. But as I say I am very aware of slippery slopes and what a lot of the drink and drugs (medical too) offer in the short term can just add to your problems in the long run (or be even worse). There is an element of "whatever gets you through the night". You have to work out if you can trust yourself and your bodies biochemistry enough to take a short term "fix". We all have limits of what we can cope with. So I might put up with a migraine all day long, but when I realise that its going to keep me awake all night, I pop a codeine. And finally a confession. I am a medical Dr of 30 years. Medicine and especially psychiatry is a very grey area…if only everything was like in the textbooks!!!!

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:25pm

Hi Michael, I liked the " never attribute to malice... " quote! Another way of putting across the same idea is "Cock up or conspiracy?" : ). Thank you for your reply, to TG. It's reassuring to hear that there are no easy answers and not for want of trying. LP

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:55pm

Hi TG, I agree with g. It may not be much comfort, but it will pass. I felt despair growing up with an angry and aggressive parent. I look back and am still so relieved not to be living in the situation even now. The time will come when your life is your own to do with as you please. If you have told the relevant services that you can no longer cope with caring for Mr G, but still must for some of the time, even though it is detrimental to your health, I'm just wondering at what poiint would a decision be made that it isn't safe for you to continue with things as they are? LP xx

g Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 11:39am

Best blog so far . I still do not know how to mark it favourite , please help anybody ? Solicited advice for TG : Have you tried stoicism ? There is another saying along the lines .. And this will pass... All things will pass.... On more basic and patronising note : when in despair start counting your blessings . and from an earlier blog : Life is too short . Personally : I have no idea how you cope , I would have given up long ago , you must love Mr.G. ( funny how you call him ) very very much . Love and peace to all . keep on keeping on . I am out .g.

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 10:12pm

Thank you so much g. This means alot as I was doubting for a long time whether I should send it in. LPxx

Tychi's Mum Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 2:57am

Hi g, to mark a blog as a favourite you click on the star which is at the very top of the blog on the left hand side underneath the date.

The Gardener Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 2:02pm

Thank you Michael. You're not the ubiquitous Michael Mosley by chance (you would not let on if you were). To g, 'Mr G', someone here gave him that title - as married to the Gardener. I am not much good at stoicism because I try too hard to solve the insoluble. A grand-daughter gave me a nice bag 'keep calm and knit on'. I find this very therapeutic - the creativity in the designs, and keeping my fingers active (might put off arthritis as well, who knows?) I try, by every stratagem possible, to sit with Mr G, warm room lovely ambience, nice music or stimulating talking programmes, my knitting and the cat, if she deigns - but Mr G wants me beside him all the time, a particular 'stage' of Alzheimers - other 'carers' say their husbands even wanted their hands held all the time. No drug we have tried will quell this acute fear and anxiety. I respect people's fears - however unreal, but it's all SO exhausting, and SO boring. I don't know if statistics have been done (or nobody would admit to it) of spouses/partners have finally abandoned their O/H because they just could NOT cope with the demands of frequent depression. Don't think I can add to LP's toolbox - try not to get riled - and one of our son's 'avoid confrontation'.

Jul Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 2:33pm

I was thinking about you today Gardener. What I wondered was whether it is possible to make a distinction with Mr G's reactions. Can you attribute part of his current behaviour to Alzheimer's and part to how he has always been? Or are they all tied up together? I thought that if you hear him shouting to you for example, you could decide whether this is normal for him (has been throughout the years) or due to his illness. It would be a daily challenge for you (as if you don't have enough!!)to distinguish between the two. And then react accordingly. I get very irritated with my OH (and he with me no doubt)and I wonder if this irritating behaviour to me, would just get worse and more exaggerated if God forbid he ever got Alzheimer's. I am not sure about this. Does Alzheimer's affect everyone the same or each individual differently? Hopeful One is probably the best one to advise. I think you are probably too hard on yourself actually. It must be so awful to live with this and yet the Alzheimer's bit is so sad. One cannot blame ones spouse for falling victim to it but I think I would have to remind myself daily of this. Onwards and upwards. Love Jul xxx

Michael Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 2:54pm

This is why therapists, Drs etc should never treat their relatives. Because one's day can be spent dealing with anger, projection etc all aimed at you, but you calmly professionally deal with it. Then you arrive home and an innocent comment from your O/H can have you instantly flying into a rage. Which can be bewildering. But professionals are humans too and unfortunately our nearest and dearest know all our vulnerabilities and where their buttons are. So it is less "what" is being directed at you, more it boils down to "who" is doing the directing. I found it both ironic and sad, but my dealings with alzheimers and their families showed that if anybody is going to be attacked, verbally or physically it would be the nearest relatives. Early on my career my jaw would drop when sweet little old ladies would suddenly let rip with profanities that I had never conceived of. Where had that all come from?!! I stopped wearing a tie to work after having fallen for the "come here sonny, you look like a nice boy" and then when in range the tie was grabbed and I would be thinking how can a little old lady have this amount of strength, as i was going blue in the face.

Michael Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 3:14pm

I'm not Michael Moseley. But I am a fan of his. He is prepared to go towards the cutting edge and be open minded. For example the unfortunately named Professor Nutt (London) is doing some interesting work investigating psilocybin in treatment resistant depression. Following on from this The Times reported today, from a paper in the Journal of Psychology, that psilocybin (prescribed responsibly by a psychiatrist) is having a significant impact on the anxiety and depression experienced by patients suffering from aggressive cancers. There are some good people out there beavering away on our behalf keeping hope alive.

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 7:49pm

Michael, thanks for your replies today - it's great to have a 'man in the know' responding to the comments and thank you for taking the time to do so. It's interesting that even as a doctor with all your knowledge, you a suffering and looking for the answer many Moodscopers are. It really does make the me think that everyone is different and one thing will work for one and not the other. How frustrating!! Kind regards. Caroline

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:31pm

I agree Jul, when my grandmother had alzheimers, my mother really struggled to help her, but kept telling herself that it wasn't the person she knew being like that towards her. My heart goes out to carers in such difficult longterm circumstances. LPxx

Michael Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 12:12am

Throughout my career I was often involved in mental health assessments. I would often point out to police and social workers non of us are immune, tho scold happen to anyone. Thos e words have definitely come back to haunt me!

Michael Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 12:13am

sorry typo (this could)

Tychi's Mum Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 3:06am

Hi Micheal, I wholeheartedly agree with Caroline Ashcroft, it's wonderful to have a "man in the know" responding to these comments. I find the whole concept of EI fascinating and it has given me a different perspective on why some people are unable to support you emotionally in the way that you would like. Could I ask, what is psilocybin? I'm supposing it's a new's not one I've heard of.

Michael Fri, Dec 2nd 2016 @ 10:12pm

Psilocybin is an hallucinogenic compound found in "magic" mushrooms. When Prof Nutt gave small doses of it to volunteers and then did a functional MRI scan he found that psilocybin was reducing blood flow to specify areas in the brain. Which basically meant that there would be less negative thinking, rumination, self recrimination etc. I think he has found that a single dose can help some people for as long as a month

Jul Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 2:45pm

I really love this blog LP. You have worded it so carefully. I always wonder what is going on in peoples' lives , the part we cannot see or don't hear about. Even with Moodscope, we don't know it all, only what we choose to tell. This is why your blog is so understanding of us all and how we wish to be treated. Your and others gentleness is what makes Moodscope work. Thank you. Love Jul xx

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 10:18pm

Hi Jul, thank you! I try to respect and not upset or offend, we all have enough struggles as it is eh? :) Love LPxxx

The Gardener Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 2:59pm

Jul - this is quite an argument - the charitable (our nuns) say the my husband is 'gone' replaced by this brain disease, and that he is not responsible for his actions. The professionals say (and it would seem to be borne out) that if somebody was exacting and dictatorial before the illness the traits will worsen. The therapists (who keep the hospitalized amused some way or other) say that Mr G is very manipulative, and will do everything to get his own way. Your being irritated by O/H is normal - I think all married couples get on each other's nerves from time to time. But you can 'let off steam', long walk, bit of DIY, have a long bath and lock the door - there is no escape at this stage - and yes, Mr G, his mother and his brother were always right, and dictatorial - but you could mutter, have a laugh, tease them (then run).

the room above the garage Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 4:35pm

Hello LP, really enjoyed reading this. I read it first thing but had no chance to comment and I've been returning to it in my head in the day. I adore the quote and I need to find a way of searing it into my brain. Thank you, love ratg x.

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 10:22pm

Hey ratg, thank you! Yes I had to check on the exact wording, but the sentiment has stayed with me. It's a high standard to aim for but a worthy one for me. Love LPxx

The Gardener Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 9:12pm

Most frustrating - fascinating blog and such thought-provoking posts - cooking for 50 people and up early for the airport I must not, absolutely not, stay up for hours re-reading. I've had a minor success. Mr G tired, got him to bed - huge cries 'help me, help me' - his feet were cold. He swore at me because I would not put his socks on - but I told him to stop it and went back to Sibelius and salads. Curious bonus, so cold tonight, can use our terrace as an extra fridge.

LP Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 10:30pm

I'm so glad you've found it fascinating TG. Yes do what you need to do, get some rest you can come back to it when you have time. So glad you've had some success tonight and hope all goes well. I'm beyond impressed that despite the situation you can cook for 50! Love LPxx

Alice Wed, Dec 7th 2016 @ 6:15am

I once got asked 'why didn't you do somethibg?' When talking about my sexual assault. Worse reaction to a disclosure ever ????

Amy Wed, Dec 7th 2016 @ 10:20pm

How awful that must have been. So sorry you had to hear that mindless comment.

Lacey Tue, Dec 20th 2016 @ 6:24am

Lamotrogine sounds good
I'm on venlafaxine,sodium valproate and quetiapine
Side effects are harsh but I live with them
Mindfulness course has been great and have met some lovely folk all with the same problem and we are forming our own support social network early in 2017
Scrabble,video watching,coffee,luncheon,dinner down the pub
I am having open house soon with all 7-8 clients invited
I think it will go well,everyone seems very keen and I'm ???? delighted to think it may happen.
Faith is all you need......????????????????????????
Ruth Redd Clifford (newly married and happy to be so)

Lacey Tue, Dec 20th 2016 @ 6:26am

Sorry,typo again,what is the prob with Apple IPad?

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