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24

January


Going Steady. Sunday January 24, 2016

I'm in a good place at the moment. Not up, not down, just steady.

My relationship with my moods has been rocky for most of my life. That's all I have to say about that right now, I'm too thankful to be in a good place to even think about it!

It would be wonderful to remain like this. Comfortable with things, nothing to rattle me. No pressure. Able to get on with my life as I choose with an underlying feeling of peace.

There will be challenges, that's life. It would be great to deal with them as best I can, but allow them to come and go knowing that I'm steady.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to confidently say that it used to be an ongoing battle, grateful to just wake up feeling ok, but now it's the norm.

My Moodscope scores are in the low 60s above what was my average and wouldn't it be nice not to stray too far from that? To feel secure.

Is it possible I wonder, to have found peace?

I've worked hard at it, pushing forwards, to make things better, pushing for what I want my life to be like, resisting the things, people and situations that are not good for me. Searching for the things, people and activities that are.

And now on this day in this moment, I can say that I am happy to be going steady.

What would things be like for you, to be able to say that you are in a good place?

Lillypet.
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Lex Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 5:09am

Oh Lillypet, we're sharing feelings
That our written blogs are now revealing
For when you see tomorrow's words
You'll think I was told by a little bird
The very thoughts of your gentle soul
So I could resonate with one so whole.
L'xx
{Thank you for a beautiful blog xx}

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:35pm

Thank you Lex! I'm looking forward to it! LP xx

Anna Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 6:14am

Hi Lillypet, what a lovely idea to record your thoughts and feelings during a stable period. I too veer between going too high and too low, but usually it's at either end of my mood spectrum that I feel
compelled to write about my state. Stability may sound a little dull but it is so underrated, and can bring so much joy, albeit "sane" well balanced joy. Glad you're doing well. Long may it last.. Anna

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:37pm

Thanks Anna. It's fluctuated a bit but not to far. LP

Mr A non Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 6:16am

Wow what a superb blog to sum up exactly how i am feeling right now. That is all i ever crave and need- Inner Peace. The abilty to be able to just sit and relax when required.I am in that place at the moment . To be able to talk freely and easily with work colleagues ,friends and family without having to constantly analise and feel self -conscious about what i have said. Inner Peace. my Nirvana . Cant wait to read Lex's blog tomrrow. Thanks LP excellent start to my birthday,this is my first comment for a while, have been reading daily just not responding as i am so slow at typing, aboout 6 words a min anyway have a good day everyone ,and be kind to yourselves,you deserve it. RIP Lemmy and David Bowie

Hopeful One Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 7:15am

Hi A non - Happy birthday , many happy returns and many more to come!

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:41pm

Happy Birthday A non! Good to read your comment, persevere with the typing, you'll get faster at it! LPxx

Hopeful One Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 7:59am

Hi Lilly Pet- thank you for your thoughtful blog. This stability in our minds that we seek , his Nirvana as Mr a non calls it ,is always there. The Buddists claim that it is in fact the natural state of our mind ,like a a clear blue sky . The clouds are out thoughts and feelings . Normally we view this sky from the ground so that , if the thought clouds are thick enough we never see this sky . The trick is to somehow change one 's vantage point from the ground to looking at the thought clouds from the vantage point of the sky. One can achieve it purely by chance but meditation is one technique which will make it more consistently achievable.

Enough of the serious stuff. As the Irish proverb goes " a laugh and good sleep are the cure for everything"

A couple attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man is very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stops to shake the preacher's hand. " Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Reverend replies , "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house." "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!" The Reverend replies , "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving in this way in Church!" "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put £ 500 in the collection plate." The Reverend's eyes opens wide as he remarks " Holy Shit!"

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:45pm

Hi HO, I'll have a try at imagining that I'm lobserving the thought clouds from above. Thanks for all the chuckles!:) LP xx

Another Sally Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 9:08am

Morning everyone, now I am going to have to check the blog comments everyday to catch a joke and a laugh. Thank you HO for your injection of humour.
Like Lillypet I am steady at the moment and glad not to feel anxious. I am above my average which is good. I hardly ever tick the 'extremely' box as it seems a bit extreme. I achieved my all time high on a wonderful holiday and it was still only in the upper seventies. I am afraid to go up higher because I feel that then my "steady" would look bland
Sometimes I feel troubled because I cannot express how it is that I feel, though I cannot fathom what it is that makes me unable/afraid to sit and examine, as I am trying to do now, and put into words what it is I do feel.
Sorry, I have to go and get on. Will check in with you all another time.
Another Sally

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:49pm

Hi another Sally. Thank you. I'd suggest that you record how you actually feel, ratee than be concerned about it being too extreme or bland etc. Glad you've been feeling steady.LP :)

Soulmansblue Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 9:10am

Hi Lillypet,

I'm really pleased for you bopping along in the 60's and pray that you remain stuck there. A cool place to be and I wish that I could say the same. I've been steading in the early 20's now for about week, but it's better than being in the under 10's so rock.

All I can say is keep on doing whatever you are because it is clearly working for you.

For me going steady would be just that, with a woman of my dreams, because that is all I have!

Best
SMB

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:53pm

Hi SMB, I'm glad that you're in a steady place. Very best wishes that you meet your soulmate. LP :)

Soulmansblue Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:20pm

Thanks LP

Anonymous Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 9:28am

It's great that your efforts have paid off Lilly as this means if ever, with a capital IF,you have a bad spell again, you will know what to do to get back on track. For me going steady would be consecutive nights of good deep sleep. I'm still working on it! Julx

Sheena Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:37am

Well done Lillypet It is good to know where you are and that who you are is just fine! I've found learning to be myself, rather than the self 'expected' by the company I'm with has been good. I 'flatline' now in the high 60s - that is unless something exceptional throws me off. When 'off' I try and work out my part in the issue (that is What is making me react so strongly) - this often comes back to some historical precedence. Continuiing Harmony to You! Sheena

jen Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:14am

Glad to hear so many people are ok today and very interesting to hear about the scores that indicate a good place to be and what score is too high. My high is 100% - I love it while I'm there but it always leads to a drop. My lowest is 4 - and I am then a person who cannot recognise the me that scores more than 10 and thinks that that person will never return. I used to have two or three lows followed by highs each year. I though I have found the magic 'cure' when my scores stayed at around the 60s for a whole year. I felt even worse when they dropped before Christmas. I find using the technique of replaying my negative voices in my head and then making fun of them - 'oh, hear comes the I'm useless and unloveable record again'. I also keep looking back at my comments when I felt good about myself that detailed all my good points. Not a cure, but it helped.
Happy birthday to A non.and how great that you are in a good place. Keep going with the typing - we like reading your comments and practice is the only way to get better - like keeping our scores level. Soulmansblue - keep the faith that the woman of your dreams is somewhere dreaming about you.

Frankie Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:21am

I'm loving this jen - making fun of negative comments - genius, thank-you! Frankie

Frankie Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:21am

Morning Lillypet - yes, I find being in the low 60s a good place to be; not too frantic or over the top, nor unduly low. Thank-you and well done you! Frankie

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:18pm

It's great for me to read about others at a similar points to where I am at the moment. You too Frankie. LP xx

The Gardener Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 12:23pm

Lillypet - hello again - intrigued by your writing 'pushing for what I want my life to be like'. CAN you make a blue-print for life? Having done that, actually stick to it without being deviated/diverted by all the road blocks? Like family, work, moods. My most satisfying 'era' has been 20 years buried in historical archives - never been in any 'plan'; a set of circumstances made it possible to go to university. Our life has been loads of risks and seizing of opportunities. I see you have a score of 60%. Wow, mine yesterday was 16%. Life with Mr TG had taken a bad turn - enthusiasm or hope went out of the window. We had an enjoyable visit to friends yesterday - only choose the most intimate and tolerant - because Mr TG spends the whole of the visit wanting more heat, less light, moving chairs, asking for blankets - have to avoid like the plague our 'meanie' friends who reduce heating to minimum. He did all this in Abu Dhabi as well, 18 months ago, my d-in-law had him for three hours 'don't know how you cope' she said, sometimes, mirrored in the score of 16%, I don't. Right, Lillypet - organise me. Mr TG would like me to sit facing him in an armchair for the rest of our lives, feeding him well and putting him to bed when he's tired. I am STILL having ideas for living our life at the rate of about 5 an hour (not silly, selfish ideas, but heading for this mirage, 'peace', while still using brain and talents).So, ideas on a post-card, please

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:03pm

Hi TG, I agree we cant make a blue print for life with all it's twists and turns. I believe that we can move towards what we really want within reason! So it's great that you're having those ideas because that's how what you want will begin to manifest. Very best wishes. LP ????Xx

The Gardener Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 12:32pm

HO, your jokes! Real tonic. My husband, his brother, and late m-in-law had no sense of humour - life is real, life is serious. My b-in-law, bless him - high-level academic berated me most of the time we have known each other for the heavy tomes I have not read - he loves history, it's my work - but he does not take account that PEOPLE make history! I think I have 4 twin souls, all men - guaranteed for a good giggle - and mind-bending what passes for 'wit'. The women-folk are not keen - they cannot understand what the hell we are talking about, but don't like the fact that our end of the table keep falling off their chairs with laughter. Lillypet, feed that into my 'blue-print' please.

susan Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 12:55pm

TG, you have a brilliant mind. Are you possibly intellectually bored? Happiest times in historical archives, berated about tomes you haven't read (yet). This could be a ridiculous question, but would you have time for an online cambridge (for example) lecture or course? Sorry. Silly question....

Frankie Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 1:22pm

susan what a good idea! Gardener, you can get really good discounts if you go on websites such as Living Social Deals or Groupon (£25 instead of £200). That way, if you don't get to use it, (you do get a year or so) it won't matter so much. Frankie

Sally Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 6:18pm

The TED Lectures are great. Perhaps you could give them a try?

susan Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 12:47pm

Yay, Lillpet. Ode to Joy! So glad to read this. I'd been in the 20s for a good year and it reached a crisis recently which really made me dig deep. Was then helped along by an intense tapping session. Am now in the low 60s and thankful for the absence of psychic pain. Worried that this indicates a coming crash, but somehow the low 60s doesn't feel too high--just very comfy and, as you say, 'secure'. This seems to be what Sheena and jen have said also. I feel so thankful to be free at the moment and able to share positive energy with those around me. Bliss. It's what i hope for all of us. xx

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:05pm

Thanks susan. So good to share the positive energy. LP x

The Gardener Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 5:26pm

Susan and Frankie, thank you so much for your suggestions. Done BA and MA in UK - offered two PhDs in UK and one in France, too much commitment with our other activities. I have an enormous intellectual exercise on-going - building up my huge data-base from the registers - and in the last two years so much has come on line. I hope to re-start my lectures of aspects of the last four centuries (and our four computer 'whizz-kids' have set up a conference/teaching room). But I can't concentrate at the current state of Mr TG's illness, and the two days respite are overcrowded. Evenings are particularly difficult, and I am too old and exhausted to work all night, although one can on line. If this house ever sells will contemplate risking an 'au pair' again. Plenty of room. Scurrilous friends suggesting I fill it with young Italian men. I feel, above, that I have been guilty of 'sexism' saying that my real soul-mates are all men. That's only on silly conversation.My 'heroes' are Alan Coren and Patrick Campbell - who could take a bizarre headline and write something that can still make me LOL. I stand to be corrected - but I cannot name a woman who has the same facility - are we too serious? Talking 'scores' above, why are people worried about being in the 'high' sector? I've looked back over old graphs and the few times I've managed a 'high' I was actually able to 'live'.

Norman Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 7:09pm

"I cannot name a woman who has the same facility" How about Victoria Coren-Mitchell or Marina Hyde?

g Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 7:18pm

Sandi Toksvig

Sally Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 6:25pm

The TED Lectures are great. I put that somewhere else but am not sure you will see it which is why I've put it again - if you see what I mean! I do feel for you and think you are amazing how you cope so well and with a sense of humour too.

The Gardener Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 6:26pm

Being 'greedy' today - but 'scores' have got me going. My 'highs' are always notable for getting plenty of sleep. A time over 70 was in a hotel in UK, lots people around, friends and family to meet (this often provokes friends to say should we go back to UK?) Then 'highlights' acquisition of new house - glorious music, blog printed, new robin. Getting enough sleep has come out as paramount.

g Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 7:44pm

Just to clarify the numbers for bipolars are v. important and the middle ones safe however boring and what appears normal to all seems depressed to a BP person . High numbers are extremely dangerous actually warning signs of oncoming mania and low even more so ( my personal view ) as deep depression is a cause od suicide for many.
Thank you Lillypet for reminding me where I should be on the graph and how comforting steady may be .
THank you TG for all your posts.You are doing great and here you are my role model as I cannot imagine to be able to write with such humour about your trials - your strength,sense of humour,living the present moment,being able to illustrate all kind of ideas with actual experiences .... kudos to you !!! And finding time to read the blog and comment with such humanity !

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:10pm

Hi g, I'm not sure that I meant to remind you where you should be on the graph. We're all so different. More to reflect on what steady means for you. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. LP

Soulmansblue Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:29pm

Hi G, I've not hit a 100+% in a decade. The tablets I'm on stop my mood fulgurations dead. The best I have achieved is the 55% that I hit last year, just shortly after joining Moodscope. My worst recorded score has been at 4% and I have an average of 21% which ain't to bright. I hunger after the giddy heights where I could jump tall mountains and go beyond the stars. I could do anything, nothing seemed impossible. Yeah, then the almighty fall, I never did get up without severe results. Pretty hard with the world on your back. So I know what the highs and the lows are like. hence I keep a very close eye on my scores. Hang in there all of you. SMB

g Mon, Jan 25th 2016 @ 12:31am

..but you did and very well too - making the place enticing and I am grateful

g Mon, Jan 25th 2016 @ 12:32am

on that note I think that it may be difficult to let go once the blog gets published as the resulting comments are not really under our control anymore...just a thought

g Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 7:44pm

Just to clarify the numbers for bipolars are v. important and the middle ones safe however boring and what appears normal to all seems depressed to a BP person . High numbers are extremely dangerous actually warning signs of oncoming mania and low even more so ( my personal view ) as deep depression is a cause od suicide for many.
Thank you Lillypet for reminding me where I should be on the graph and how comforting steady may be .
THank you TG for all your posts.You are doing great and here you are my role model as I cannot imagine to be able to write with such humour about your trials - your strength,sense of humour,living the present moment,being able to illustrate all kind of ideas with actual experiences .... kudos to you !!! And finding time to read the blog and comment with such humanity !

Johio Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:14pm

Awesome post! What are some of the things that you do/use that have brought you to this place? Meds? Counseling? Etc, etc?

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:14pm

Meds, yes. The bits from councelling and self help suggestions that I find helpful. Mindfullness. Earlier bedtimes when I can. Walking when I can. Moodscope 100%! :)

Soulmansblue Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:31pm

I cannot do mindfulness, my head just will not shut-up!

LillyPet Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 10:29pm

Good evening everyone. I've just got in, so apologies for the late reply.
Thank you so much for all your encouraging comments. I'm looking forward to reading through them all again ( as well as Lex's blog!) tomorrow. Wishes for some restful sleep. Love to all. LPxx

Soulmansblue Sun, Jan 24th 2016 @ 11:30pm

What - no!
Not Lex again!
[GRIN]

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