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Friendship with self. Thursday August 10, 2017

Being a friend to oneself is so important and so often forgotten in a crisis. We look to other people to provide company and encouragement and solutions and often allow our inner selves to keep up a barrage of criticism that undermines and withers our enjoyment of being who we are, right now, in this place.

Sometimes this constant commentary is so familiar we don't consciously know it's there but when you tune in to it the realisation of the self-condemnation and the language used to express it, can be shocking. The antidote is to develop the inner companion; the one who doesn't berate you for lying in bed too long but gently suggests that now may be a good time to rise and make some plans, who encourages and recognises steps, however small, as a continual part of a journey to change. The one who is alongside, with you, rather than sitting in judgement.

I am battling with alcohol at the moment; not a dramatic, technicolour, falling in the gutter kind of battle, but the habit of drinking more wine each evening than is good for me. My aim is to have more evenings without alcohol than with. Sometimes I win and wake the next morning feeling still tired but pleased with my strength of will. However, when I fail and down a bottle, my tendency is to veer towards self-hatred, despair and an over-arching idea of my life as failure. That can take hold and perpetuate depression and a paralysis.

My current approach is to be kinder and gentler as I would towards a friend and, without being permissive, to say to myself " Ok. That happened, but it doesn't have to keep happening and the overall trajectory is better than it was. Well done for that and we'll keep trying.". To hold on to progress and to be compassionate about the opposite. To pick myself up, as one would help and hug a miserable toddler and move towards a different state of mind. This takes regular conscious practice as does learning any new skill.

Real friends are great but not always available and not always up to date with our own script. The person best placed to give one what one needs, in terms of understanding and will power, is often living inside us. Then we can enjoy other people in all their glorious array, without the expectation that they can complete or rescue us. Or us them.

Hilary
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Molly Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 12:43am

First to comment again, I'm sometimes relieved when I'm not. Maybe that is not being a friend to myself? I liked your blog Hilary, especially the last paragraph. Who wants to be around a depressed person? It is a continuous battle. I think I am okay with myself, but you have made me realise I have alot more work to do if I am to be okay with others. It really is down to us at the end of the day isn't it? No-one else can do it for us. If only I had the strength. But actually I do and I will remember to be kinder to myself. Thanks Hilary xx

Dolphin Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 12:16pm

Hi Molly - don't stress about the order in which we comment. I don't notice the order, just the characters and whether they are there or not (ie hey - hope Molly or whoever is missing OK today). xx

Molly Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 10:53pm

Thank you Dolphin xx

Orangeblossom Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:37am

Hi Hilary, thanks for your helpful blog. I enjoyed reading it and was reminded of a change of attitude in me. I used to regard myself as a failure and tended to be harsh about myself. That is probably why I seemed to be permanently low. Now I regard my life in more balance. Yes I have failed at some things but given myself top scores on perservance, always picking myself up once I had slipped and fallen.

Mary Wednesday Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:49am

Hello Hilary. I recognise myself in your blog. I too am working on having more days without alcohol than with. I have been amazed at the difference in attitude the medication has made. Before, a drinking session would have resulted in a high score on the guilt and shame cards. Now I can shrug and move on, resolving to carry on the campaign. When I have a day without it's good, but my pride score is more dominated by other things like writing or exercise or being there for friends. It seems strange that medication has stopped alcohol dominating my life, but then, it has also stopped other things dominating too: it has put *me* in charge of my life at last. Hilary - thank you for this blog, it has been really helpful for me. And, it's good to know there is someone else in the same boat as me. Hugs to you. And - we should split that bottle of wine between us, and not drink it all to ourselves!

Adam Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 8:00am

I have read the entire piece and only have two words... "so true." Hope you win your fight Hilary but in the meantime thank you so much for sharing this, definitely brought me back from a very dark place this morning to be reminded of this!

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 2:48pm

Hi Adam - I hope your day is going ok. The mornings can often be the worst time can't they? And just getting going can be so hard if you feel dreadful. Keep treating yourself well and i hope you see an improvement soon. MG x

Molly Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:04pm

MG - the mornings are the worst for me, it is the first thing I think of (how is my head today?) and then if I am lucky it might ease off a tiny bit once up. If I have to leave the house I am physically sick before I can even dress myself xx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 8:09am

Hi Hilary - What a great blog, so clearly and kindly expressed. I found it very helpful - life is hard enough without the voice inside our head giving us grief as well, but many of us need that reminder to be friendly to ourselves. To me it is one of the big things in controlling my depression and funnily enough I wrote a blog yesterday along these very lines. However you have now very brilliantly done the job for me! Are you a new writer for Moodscope or is it that I am too new to recognise an old name? Congratulations and welcome if you are new; welcome back if it's the latter! Good luck with controlling the alcohol. It is well worth tackling a problem while it is still manageable. There is alcoholism in my family and I have a horror of getting into the grips of the demon drink, however over the years my own consumption has quietly crept up so that now I find it normal to have a drink every day. I will keep trying to have alcohol-free days and I will think of you and Mary while I am doing it! MG xx

The librarian Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 8:56am

This is a great post, Hilary, and chimes with something I have been thinking about lately, and read about in an Henri Nouwen book this morning (The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom) just before I read your post.

I think I have always looked outside myself for what I lack, and I feel a bit clueless about how to be a friend to myself - I'm not sure what I'm like as a friend but I guess looking at how friends are with me is a good start...

Your post is a helpful start - thank you for it - and I wish you all the very best with treating yourself well and managing your personal battles.

All the best.

The Gardener Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 9:42am

I am drinking more - but nowhere near dangerous or addictive levels. Hilary, post interesting in coping with self first, as opposed to being 'selfish'. I have had grand-daughter recommending yoga, her mother mindfulness, and my 'mentor' psychiatric nurse in this morning saying I MUST have time for myself and 'rise above' this permanent confrontation with Mr G. I have a really bad bug, and he won't let me sleep. Awful difference with 'before' and 'after' is that your significant other might not be very sympathetic to illness, but they would hold the fort and make cups of tea. With Alzheimers the perpetual fear, and demanding of attention, makes some of them aggressive to illness - I'm really under the weather, all Mr G can think of is whether I will be well enough to look after him. Severe depression has the same affect too - so, now, it's curl up with a good book. And loads of work on mind over matter.

Jul Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 10:01am

I just don't know how you cope Gardener. I don't think I could but I suppose I would have to. It's no life for you. I wonder how long this can go on for. You need a life but I have nothing to suggest. I know one thing, you are an expert on living with a spouse with Alzheimers. I am wondering if you can put your experience to good use one day but at the moment you must devote any spare energy (if you have any), to helping yourself. Love Jul xx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:53am

Dear Gardener - The Librarian mentions Henri Nouwen above so I thought I'd look him up. I notice that he has a book called "Hope for Caregivers". Actually, not sure if it's a book - 'A 42-Day Devotional'. Don't know what that means. I just want you to know that I am willing you to have Hope, and Strength, in your challenging situation. I agree with the psychiatric nurse, you need to find a way to chisel out some time for yourself, although I know that that must seem impossible. Leave Mr G with someone and GO. Do NOT worry about him for that time - he will be as angry / afraid as ever, but he'll be fine, and even the smallest break will do you good. It sounds like having an infant again, except that the infant is large, irascible and verbose. My thoughts, as with so many Moodscopers, are with you. MG x

The librarian Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 1:40pm

I just looked up 'Devotional' to make sure what I thought it meant was right - it relates to religious observance. Whatever your beliefs, I think he has a lot to say about looking after yourself in the face of caring for others, and about loving yourself whatever your circumstances. For him, it stems from God but it can be from anything you like. He certainly know depression and anguish, and retreated when he needed to. Pretty amazing man, as far as I can tell!

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 2:43pm

Thank you for introducing us to him! X

The Gardener Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 6:28pm

Thank you for your 'back-up'. I fetched Mr G from respite, he'd hit one of the girls this morning. They tried to tell him I was ill, and a little compassion with do well - he started in criticising and abusing me - they all looked hopeless. I am resting, dozing, listening to music - every five minutes he wakes me up to ask if I am asleep. Will we ever eat? (had tea, drink, crisps). I have hardly any voice - he says he'll leave me alone - then shouts if I won't reply.The last few days, with moodscopers and family willing me onwards, plus the fantastic welcome I got in the UK, I do feel stronger, and more able to 'stand up for myself' in the face of extreme provocation. Keep calm, know you are doing your best - and, for me, being more efficient than I've ever been in my life - working routine (ha!) round circumstances - cutting out anything unecessary - listening to radio which pleases me (Radio 4, now France Musique excellent jazz) and ignoring jibes about the 'rubbish'.

Jul Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 6:54pm

I listen to France Inter. They play wonderful music on that usually around the time I'm cooking with my glass of wine. Best time of the day. I will tune in to France Musique next time. I love jazz and the French usually play the jazz I like. I don't know why I laughed Gardener when you said Mr G had hit one of the girls. It's really not funny I know. Jul xx

Sally Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 10:08am

Very good piece, Hilary, and a timely reminder to make friends with self! I don't drink much, I can take it or leave it, but I do hit the chocolate and cake on a too- regular basis ! Which I'm constantly trying to control.
All the best and please keep writing!

Valerie Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 10:18am

Hello Hilary,

If you are writing for the first time-welcome! You write beautifully,and everything you say is so true.Coming from a long line of "heavy drinkers" I have always known the weakness in the blood.Oh,that lovely feeling when the drink kicks in.I drink fast too,which I understand is a sign that one could have a potential problem. I can hear my late father's voice as he insisted on topping up everyone's glass-"Down the hatch!"

Alcohol is always with meals for me,usually limited to weekends and eating out one regular weekday evening.Increasingly I find I am looking forward to the booze more than the food. Yesterday, when asked at Waitrose checkout if I would like a free tea or coffee,I said "No,but I wouldn't mind a large glass of red wine".The lady thought I was joking! xx

Lexi Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 10:37am

This blog ran so true for me Hilary. I too struggle with drinking too much wine and waking up the next day feeling depressed and shamed. Rather than giving it up entirely I too strive for days to go simply without. I have been doing that more and more lately and I do feel much better about myself. It's amazing - when I actually stop myself and have a conversation about it - Seriously Lexi. Are you going to drink another glass, knowing you will feel like crap tomorrow, or will you call it a night? And then I can call it a night. It's in that pause that I can change my night around and give the next day a chance. I do think being a friend to ourselves and not beating ourselves up about it is so important. It's nice to know I am not the only one who struggles with this! xo Lexi

Molly Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:15pm

Me too Lexi, you explained it well. Think it is great that Hilary, Mary and yourself admitted it. A couple of glasses makes us feel better, temporarily, a couple more and we will feel rubbish the next day. It is SO hard though xx

Anonymous Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:20am

Thank you for all the responses. It is my first blog and it's unexpectedly fun to get such feedback! I looked up Henry Nouwen -thank you Librarian- and he seems to articulate the internal struggle that is an ordinary part of life but is so often hidden in shame and secrecy because we're all supposed to pretend to be ok. As was discussed recently on this blog, it can be heartening to be able to say me too, same boat, or different boat but similar dilemmas and feelings. Not to normalise addictions or negative states of mind but to accept that there are constant challenges and to feel a strengthening connection with others who admit to their experience.
Hilary

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 12:00pm

Hi Hilary - It IS fun seeing one's own words in 'print' and knowing that so many people will read them, isn't it?! Also, now our friend 'Anonymous' has a name! Is there more than one Anonymous do you think, or have all those comments been you? Hope you are having a good day Hilary. MG xx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 12:00pm

Hi Hilary - It IS fun seeing one's own words in 'print' and knowing that so many people will read them, isn't it?! Also, now our friend 'Anonymous' has a name! Is there more than one Anonymous do you think, or have all those comments been you? Hope you are having a good day Hilary. MG xx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 12:02pm

Oops!

dancing hippo Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 2:01pm

oops exactly . Don't you wish that you had not written it M ? And posting it twice ? Maybe you can ask Caroline to remove both ? . I do not see this comment encouraging , praising or funny . Maybe you would be so kind to explain what is it's purpose ? Had I written a blog I would not like a comment like that . Are you writing from experience ? Please tell me the dates of your blogs so that I may look them up. Hilary thank you for this blog. It gives me hope that I may find in me to write a blog one day but I will probably choose to stay Anonymous .

Caroline the Moodscope Team Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 2:59pm

Hi DH, I don't think MG meant anything bad by her comment other than she can now put a name to 'anonymous' as Hilary posted under anonymous. Caroline

Jul Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 3:24pm

Marmalade Girl is lovely and her comments are always so helpful. I cannot imagine she would ever want to hurt anyone. In fact I know she wouldn't. I don't understand where your comment has come from Dancing Hippo. I hope you are OK?

Lex Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 3:46pm

I'm with Caroline on that, Dancing Hippo. Unkind comments are rare on Moodscope - and often those that appear unkind are often just a misunderstanding. Like emails, this is a hard medium to express one's tone in a way that is totally unambiguous. Having tried humour, myself, in this kind of scenario, I know I can come across completely opposite to what I intended. Trust that helps. MG is an Angel.

Molly Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:31pm

Agree with you Lex - so much can be misunderstood. Marmalade was not being offensive at all. She just asked a question. I am guessing anyone can be 'Anonymous' on here when the mood takes them. I have been tempted to do it myself. Dancing Hippo is surely anonymous? Like Jul, I hope you are ok though because when I am not okay, I lash out at people (as I have recently) MG - just wanted to say, you said nothing wrong xx

Lifelong Learner Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:32am

Thank you Hilary for this insightful blog. You describe so well the constant battle with 'the demon drink' and it's heartwarming to know we are not alone with our daily struggles. I too strive to have more AFDs (alcohol free days) and as others have said, it's so good to know I'm not the only one who's good intentions don't always work out! You write so well, if this is your first blog I hope you will write more!

The Gardener Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:53pm

Just, I love your pseudonym - our Vet (died last year) said you had to learn something new EVERY day.

Poppy Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:33am

Thank you for the reminder to hush the demons in my head! I would NEVER talk to another person the way I talk to myself in my head. Not sure how to change. Seems like it's all I've ever known. Most of the time, I'm not even aware of it. Anybody else have this trouble? Suggestions for improvement?

Very well written.

Cyndi Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 12:17pm

Hi Hillary, Your post really touched a cord with me. I too use to battle alcoholism, and "I won't drink tonight". This is one battle you do not have to fight by yourself. Believing in a "higher power" how ever you define it, helps immensely. You are not alone! YOu do not need to fight this battle alone. There is a program out there, AA, for just such "battles". YOu start out one day at a time with out a drink, then add on to it. I am blessed to accumulate 22 years of one day at a time. It is so nice awakening with out a hangover, guilt or shame. POst privately and we can talk. GOod luck in your battle!

Dolphin Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 12:24pm

Hi Hilary. Like Molly, I especially love your last paragraph. It is also so useful to be shown that we all struggle with so many of the same challenges linked to depression - alcohol in this case.

I also struggle with the balance between being kind to yourself (of course you can drink wine every night - you grew up in a wine-producing region of the world) and chivvying yourself along (you're trying to lose that dangerous weight around your stomach and wine has calories you know). My inner dialogue often reminds me of a Peanuts cartoon where Lucy tells Linus (I think) that we are half good and half evil and they both lean to one side to let the good flow into the evil.

Molly Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:36pm

Good comment Dolphin (not just because my name is in it !!) I like the last sentence xx

Brum Mum Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 1:31pm

Your blog really resonated with me today. My inner self critic is giving me a hard time and so its reassuring to be reminded that I am not alone battling this.

Brum Mum Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 1:31pm

Your blog really resonated with me today. My inner self critic is giving me a hard time and so its reassuring to be reminded that I am not alone battling this.

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 1:44pm

Being flippant here Brum Mum....You are not alone...you have a twin above! Isn't it funny when the responses repeat themselves? Lol! ...On a more serious note...there are so many of us battling daily with some kind of critic who we would do well to ignore...but it's always so very hard...I am hoping your inner critic is behaving and relaxing this afternoon after reading that their story in your head is just like everyone else's! Bear hugs x

Jul Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 1:42pm

I enjoyed reading your blog Hilary. I have had a tricky relationship with alcohol in the past but ok with it now much to my surprise (I thought at one stage I never would be) Still working on my relationship with myself, a work in progress but helped by your blog today so thank you! Jul xx

Bluedreamer Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 1:42pm

Well done on finding your own way through this time
I used to have alot of false beliefs about me that I carried around and to escape I used drink food and drugs to mask it all
It was only after finding the work of the amazing Louise Hay and doing one of her online courses that I found my true path
On the days I slip I am kind and loving and forgive myself
One of my favourite quotes is
Tomorrow is a new day to try again
Over the course of the last 12 months or so I am definitely not turning to my quick fixes like i used to
I also started up a daily practice of meditation and gratitude which helps me to find my light again on the dark days

As long as you remember to be kind to yourself and listen to your inner self you will win the battle

Love light and blessings coming your way ? ??? ?

Molly Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 11:43pm

Bluedreamer - well done - I really want to properly get into meditation, I do try and do it but not enough and I believe it really can work wonders, as it has done for you xx

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 2:13pm

Hi Hilary,

I constantly tell myself off, if I overdo it on wine, chocolate or whatever.

It's funny how it seems to surprise me each and every time that, whatever it is that I have sought comfort from....it never really works.
Surprise!!!
I have come to this realisation myself and usually, I am either heavier than I was or with a hangover, then I see it for what it really is.....a coping mechanism. I need to fix the right things first.

I know I have to stop letting the inner voice tell me it's good to chill with a drink, have a cake or eat a whole chocolate bar (or all three!) because that same voice will be telling me what a slobbish, disgusting person I am almost as soon as I've hidden the wrappers!!

It's sometimes lack of will power, other times it's thinking I need a reward - but if I hit the bottle first, then I'm more likely to overeat as well!
So...dddddddd.drum roll here at the new Bear idea: at the moment, I'm not buying wine! If it's not here, we can't drink it!

Bear hugs to you for a very well written blog x

my inner Bear says hi -too ;) x

Carol Anne Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 3:04pm

Hi Hilary

Thanks for your blog post. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and the comments have been great.

Different people with different experiences and all at different stages in our journey with one underlying similarity - we are all wishing each other well.

My own experience with alcohol was torturous. I tried so many times to control my drinking, to limit it, to change it, to ration it - nothing worked.

My constant lack of control, the situations I found myself in, passing out on the sofa or the things I would say when full of alcohol left me emotionally and physically beaten.

Drinking alcohol didn't give my anti-depressants any opportunity to do their job and today I am grateful to know and accept that I cannot drink in safety.

Today, I often think "what would I say to my best friend in this situation"...I know I wouldn't belittle her efforts, berate her ability or be harsh when something hasn't worked out. So I challenge the negativity that my head wants to throw my way and show loving kindness to myself.

I wish you all the best.

Carol Anne x

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 3:20pm

About 12 comments back dancing hippo posted a strange response to something I said to Anonymous (aka today's blog writer Hilary). Anyone reading this should go back and see what dancing hippo has said, as it really is most odd.

One of the things DH asks for is a list of when my blogs have been published, so for DH's benefit the dates have been:
9 March (Talismans), 17 April (Who's your hero?), 5 May (Invisible), 24 June (I am NOT worthless) and 21 July ("My Brain - It's my second favourite organ"). You say that you hope to write a blog some day DH, and I look forward to reading it, whether you publish under Anonymous or not.

Molly Fri, Aug 11th 2017 @ 12:07am

MG - I wouldn't take much notice, I think when someone does this they are feeling rubbish in themselves. My comment recently probably deserved a bit of backlash. Your comment certainly didn't. You have no need to explain yourself. I have wanted to ask that question too! Molly xx

dancing hippo Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 3:29pm

Thank you for your response Marmaladegirl . It looks like I completely misunderstood your comment and since you find my reply comment strange please ignore it. I look forward to reading your blogs when I have some more time.

Mary Wednesday Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:00pm

Darling Dancing Hippo. I hope you are okay with this. Words in black and white on the page without verbal intonation, without facial expression and body-language; without the exchange of interpersonal energy, are so easily misinterpreted. This was just a little case of misinterpretation here and you valiantly rode to the defence of Hilary. Thank you. And - yes - it was unnecessary; the lovely Marmalade Girl is gorgeous (and sweet and tangy - just like her eponymous name) and meant nothing negative in her comment at all, but you were not to know that. And - I read this back to myself and go "Mary, that's bloody patronising" - when of course I don't mean it like that. Have a big hug - cos we all need big hugs - and.... I'll just bow out now....

dancing hippo Fri, Aug 11th 2017 @ 12:59am

MW I do not think that I am because if I was I would be a writer too by now but I always get into muddle with words and my thinking processes - jumping from subject to a different one - a connection that makes a perfect sense to me but only to me and I never explain and and ... probably this is why I paint now - much less precision required.

dancing hippo Fri, Aug 11th 2017 @ 1:01am

I have just listened to few of your many blogs - a new addiction ? nice

Lex Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 3:49pm

Loved the blog, Hilary. Perhaps it is not only 'Charity' that begins at home, but also 'Kindness' - to be kind to oneself is surely the foundation for being kind to others. Your words were so wise for me today. Thank you.

Jane SG Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 5:57pm

Great blog Hilary x

Jane SG Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 5:57pm

I struggle to be kind to myself

Molly Fri, Aug 11th 2017 @ 2:04am

Jane - you are so kind to me and to others - it is time to do it for yourself (hard though isn't it) I don't do it either, but you truly deserve to treat yourself Jane xx

Jane SG Fri, Aug 11th 2017 @ 2:21am

This is lovely, thank you Molly. I really appreciated it xxx

Ach UK Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:31pm

Hello Hilary, I enjoyed your blog, but only come to it in the evening. I think I would like to add to the discussion but will have to post probably tomorrow or Saturday as I want to digest your post and all the many replies first, and tonight my brain won't assimilate the words and sentences. Have to give it a rest for the day. There is always something to learn or muse over on Moodscope. I am enjoying the company. Thank you.

The Gardener Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:49pm

Went back to the blog - Hilary's 'like learning a new skill'. After a seriously challenging day, grand-daughter's lectures on Yoga and her Mum's on 'mindfulness' I don't know if I achieved anything. I sat in my excellent armchair, feet on a beautifully embroidered Victorian stool, vertebrae in line, shoulders done, head high, and ABSORBED the music, letting Mr G's jibes about what an awful wife I was float over my head. And Lex, if you are kind to yourself (French say 'feel good in your skin) then you must be more able to cope with the vicissitudes of life. the last few days have provided a few 'spats' on Moodscope, but it remains, thank heavens, a forum for airing view on depression, grief, teenagers! relationships - all human life (Henry James?) and the discussions, if often moving away from the point give a great boost to the day. This morning I put Chopin's nocturnes on to calm a difficult Mr G - the nurse said that it was a lovely accompaniment to their often difficult task, they shall have music.

The Gardener Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:51pm

Shoulders 'down' of course, stress causes hunched shoulders, equals pain in back and arms, plus appalling posture

LH Thu, Aug 10th 2017 @ 7:55pm

Hi Hilary,
Your blog was great and had resonance for me-so much so that I just wanted to share a book title that I have been reading-
The Way Of Rest-finding the courage to hold everything in love by Jeff Foster . Go well LH x

dancing hippo Fri, Aug 11th 2017 @ 12:06am

https://youtu.be/6EghiY_s2ts

Molly Fri, Aug 11th 2017 @ 2:22am

I watched this and it was interesting. It is sometimes hard to realise how alcohol can take a hold. I am not interested in the advertising factor but for one that drinks too much, I did like her speech. It was a kind of fresh take on the issue. Thanks for posting.

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