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Friends for Life. Wednesday September 2, 2015

Every summer I am in the fortunate position to be able to come down to the sea. The family sails, swims, builds sandcastles. We drink wine with other families along the sea wall and watch the sun go down. It's a magical time.

As the years go by our children are building memories and relationships. They only see these other children for a few weeks each summer, but I know these friendships will endure.

How do I know this?

Well, this year, my eldest daughter (age 13) is the Vice Commodore of the sailing club cadets; which has meant that she has been responsible for a lot of the organisation of "Activity Week" in which 50 young people, age 8 – 14 learn about sailing and have fun on the water. (And if my pride in her is oozing out of the screen as you read this, I can only apologise.)

My point is that this year there are many cadets from families who – 35 years ago – had their fathers in the cadets. These men have brought their children from far afield (from abroad in a couple of cases) to join in "Cadet Activity Week." I have spoken to them, in my capacity as "parent of the Vice Commodore" (just had to get that in again – sorry!)

One father explained to me, as he looked around the group, "This set of people is the nearest I have to an extended family, I value them so much." Another almost had tears in his eyes as he said, "James was my best friend growing up. We only had the summers together, but he was my best friend. It means so much that his daughter and my daughter are now sailing together and are friends too."

Most men have the desire to see their genes go forward, to continue the family. But there is an additional joy in seeing your children do the same things you did and getting equal enjoyment from them.

I like to think that the strong bonds formed in childhood can endure, and can be passed down to future generations.

There is a comfort in continuity. Especially the magic of continued friendship – friendships that are passed down to the next generation.

Even if we don't have children of our own, we can probably find some area of continuity in our life. What continuity in your own life brings comfort?

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Hopeful One Wed, Sep 2nd 2015 @ 8:01am

Hi Mary- thank you for reminding us of the importance of continuity in our life but what of community? To me that is just as important.

Lex Wed, Sep 2nd 2015 @ 8:04am

Continuity, community, and compassion... sounds like "Moodscope" to me. Lovely to have you sharing again, Mary. I've been asking people a continuity question inspired by something the BBC does. It's simply, "What song would you pass on to future generations?" And, "What song have you inherited from former generations?" To my surprise, people, generally, find this hard to answer. Thank you for getting us to think about continuity.

Dawn Wed, Sep 2nd 2015 @ 8:19am

That's a lovely, heartwarming story Mary, it makes me want to be there helping out as 'friend of the Mother of the Vice Commodore'.
Thanks Mary :D x

the room above the garage Wed, Sep 2nd 2015 @ 8:31am

This is just lovely and s reminder that it's the simplest things which bring the most joy. Not the bombardment of commercial awe but the sea, the air, the people, the unity. Can't pay for it. Love ratg x.

Silvia Wed, Sep 2nd 2015 @ 10:24am

what a lovely picture this conjures up in your mind, the sparking water, the billowing sails, the steady breeze...It's a long time ago that I have enjoyed sailing, but for continuity it's my late husband's caring and enduring love throughout my diagnoses of bi-polar and depression, all those ups and downs, he was always there for me. It's so good to have and enjoy the pleasures life has to give and to not take them for granted.

Bearofliddlebrain Wed, Sep 2nd 2015 @ 3:14pm

Dear MoVC!! Am bowing to your greatness!!!
So lovely to have you back, I have missed you! Am happy to hear you and your family have had a lovely time sailing, sharing wine, paddling, swimming, more wine, building sandcasltes and friendships...which often ARE forever friendships!
It's wonderful that you and those families are forging long-term friendships and in doing so, by the lovely water's edge, you are actually building a community at the same time. I think it must be like that for the lucky ones who make lasting friendships at school or university.
Although we aren't in touch all the time, I still share stories and Christmas greetings with a school friend from forty years ago....and it seems like yesterday we were there!

A heart-warming post, Mary, thank you and welcome home!

Mary Wed, Sep 2nd 2015 @ 5:28pm

Thank you so much, guys. I was away only through technological problems: the seaside is wonderful, but where we are is not internet friendly! It's lovely to be back home.

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