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Looking for an alternative. Tuesday February 4, 2014

I am reminded of an incident in my late teens/early twenties. I was at my parents house sleeping in my childhood bedroom. In that fuzzy waking moment I could see the top of my chest of drawers and what appeared to be an imperial mint on it. I squinted, trying to make sense – how was it there? Not me. Who could have put it there? It was not a sweet that my family ate. So how come it was there?

Convinced that it was an imperial mint, even though I couldn't work out how it came to be there, I leapt out of bed – only to discover that it was the handle of my hair brush...which I still have.

It reminds me that sometimes in my darker moments I become fixated on an idea, a thought, a feeling; and nothing or no-one can dislodge it for me. And yet, often, my nearest and dearest try (often unsuccessfully) to change my thought patterns.

So, what thoughts are dominating you today?

What alternative thought patterns can you apply to your situation? Perhaps by talking about yourself as if you were describing someone else?

For me this would be along the lines of:

"Frankie is feeling low today; she is tired so that is understandable, but she cannot or will not accept that; she feels low and she feels that it is her fault – she feels that she is failing (which she isn't). Frankie needs to accept that sometimes she does feel low, and that is alright...tomorrow is another day and maybe she will feel better then.
It is like the weather; sometimes it is fine, sometimes it rains; and both are alright.

Tomorrow is another day and maybe things will feel different and better.

A Moodscope user.

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Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 6:38am

Thank you. I have days when I think I am well and the depression is a thing of the past. But then something trivial can happen and I am devastated ans fixated that it failed because of me. My darkest times are eveing and I must learn to see it for what it is...a moving emotion that can go as fast as it came. Thank again. Helen x

Rupert Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 8:31am

Yes I like the scenario you have given - it is all too easy to let something dominate your thoughts to the exclusion of everything else and it is good to try an step back and widen the picture.

Tere Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 10:40am

I have taken your quote and put it on my bulletin board over my sewing machine. Since ALL that goes on that board are pattern pieces I don't use at that particular point in time (such as a pocket piece, easily misplaced) and the pattern instructions (which I normally ignore anyway) this is a great place for it. I did change the names. I hope that is ok. This is a great post and I will also take it to my therapy session on Monday and see if this is something I SHOULD work with in my current state. Thanks!

Lou Sharp Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 12:28pm

Excellent analogy. Thanks for sharing. How easy it was to fixate on trivial things when I was my most depressed. Now sometimes I think I am just trying to avoid something, usually work related, so I may fixate on trying to figure out the "something". Now days I just "do it" and get "something" out of the way, then ruminate on Moodscope.

Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 12:57pm

What a fabulous and truly practical idea. I shall use this to address my problems by way of a 'diary' using my alternate persona (who?!) on which to place my problems (and advise!!) so simple - as are most good ideas.
Thank yu.

julia Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 5:37pm

Hi frankie. Great idea. I have just written a longish reply and stupidly lost it. I'm away on holiday for a week and very glad I checked into moodscope today. Well done m

Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 6:01pm

Thanks Julia - have a great break! Frankie

Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 6:05pm

Hi Anonymous 12.57 - I too have used a diary in the past which I found really helped.
Once I had written in it, if my mind started racing with negative thoughts, I could say "it's ok - you've written this down; you can let go of it now".
Good luck! Frankie

Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 6:10pm

Hi Lou - I found the "just do it" post a while back really helpful; though I am still pretty good too at avoiding things - but I guess that's human nature. I now try and use affirmations to help me over the hump - one that has really helped recently has been "there is plenty of time, space and energy to do everything I want" - very empowering (it comes from Louise Hay, How to heal your life). I wish you well ...Frankie

Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 6:11pm

Hi Tere; glad it helps; good luck for Monday; be gentle with yourself! Frankie

Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 6:20pm

Hi Helen; can you plan a treat for yourself in the evenings? (Monday, soothing bath with candles/ Tuesday, good book or DVD/Wednesday favourite CD / Thursday tasty snack/Friday phone call to a friend etc). Maybe by planning ahead for a week during a good moment, and having the list up on the fridge or wherever ... We are so quick to beat ourselves up for the slightest failing (often something trivial like you say) and so slow to congratulate ourselves for the progress that we are making ... I often felt that it was a case of "one step forward, two steps back" but it sounds to me as if you are already at the "two steps forward, one step back" - congratulations! Frankie

Anonymous Tue, Feb 4th 2014 @ 6:22pm

HI Rupert - so true, yet often so hard to do! Seeing the bigger picture can be very challenging for me. Good luck! Frankie

Silvia A Wed, Feb 5th 2014 @ 2:45am

Julia to avoid what happened to you I have a suggestion.
I use Ditto and crtl + C ( when I remember ).

Ditto clipboard manager
Ditto is an extension to the standard windows clipboard. It saves each item placed on the clipboard allowing you access to any of those items at a later time.

Silvia A Wed, Feb 5th 2014 @ 2:49am

Good idea, Frankie. I will try.

Anonymous Wed, Feb 5th 2014 @ 7:05am

Thank you for your thoughts - it helps put mine into perspective - good luck and all the best x

William Oliver Wed, Feb 5th 2014 @ 7:45am

"This above all, to Thine Own self be true ! " Hamlet .....

heather Wed, Feb 5th 2014 @ 7:58pm

I wanted to comment on February 5th Blogspot about Bipolar !

Anonymous Wed, Feb 5th 2014 @ 8:29pm

Thanks Anonymous Feb05 7.05am - much appreciated and all the best to you too. Frankie

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