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November


Fleur - my lifeline. Sunday November 15, 2015

Today is a special day for me. It is my 1 year anniversary with an extremely special lady.Her name is Fleur and she is of the 4 legged variety. Not my cat, or a dog, Fleur is my horse.

A year ago today she arrived at the stables and I handed over a wad of cash and she became mine. In her previous life she was a race horse and then did point to point races. Since day one she has brought joy into my life and made me smile on a daily basis. At very low points she knows nothing of the state of my mind and is continuously pleased to see me, nuzzling me, neighing for her hay, happily cantering through the fields letting me be a passenger. Being with her melts away any kind of anxiety or negativity to the point where I don't realise it has gone til I am driving home and a huge black cloud comes over me.

We have also shared many many highs, competing together, winning rosettes, watching sunsets, going on roadtrips, enjoying jumping, and having many cuddles, the list is endless.

She is pampered beyond belief (as I imagine many of your pets are also!) and gets anything she needs - the second she seems unwell, the vet is called, the dentist twice per year (when I haven't been in over 10 years!), the nutritionist, the physio, the instructor, new rugs, new shoes, new tack - every penny I earn goes on her, but she is so worth it. She is my lifeline some days and offers a little relief from the darkness - she is completely oblivious she has this power.

I am conscious that no life is infinite - not mine or hers. But from now until that day comes I will cherish every second with her, care for her and love her. She owes me nothing but still continues to be there and give something that no one else can.

I hope you can find this joy somewhere in your life - from someone or something, whether it be a person, an animal, an activity, or yourself. That is my wish for today - that everyone can experience this joy somehow - look for it, try hard and find it - trust me - you wont regret it.

Dani
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

the room above the garage Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 7:04am

That's beautiful, what a focus to have, and there is no avoiding it as she needs you to turn up. Quite a drive that will be your salvation many times. Thank you x.

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:51am

so right RATG, I HAVE to go and look after her which quite often is the best thing as it gets me out in the fresh air and also gives me a constant routine each day. Animals are wonderful beings xx

Lou Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 8:40am

Happy anniversary to you and Fleur!

I am currently caring for a post-operative cat following pretty serious ear surgery and I was almost in tears when all she wanted when we got home was fuss and reassurance from me.

She makes me smile every time she comes to see me whether for a brush, some food or just a love.

As you say we all need someone to love and the joy when they love us back is truly amazing.

I don't refer to her as my furry antidepressant for nothing ;)

Lou

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:53am

thank you Lou. Cats are wonderful also, I have one of those too and she is the thing which never fails to make me laugh chasing her ping pong ball all over the house! I hope your cat recovers soon sounds like a nasty op. But so wonderful that she can still bring you joy even when she is not feeling tip top herself. animals are wonderful arent they :) xx

Lou Mon, Nov 16th 2015 @ 8:24am

Thanks very much for your good wishes. She is indeed a very special cat and while this was a big op hopefully it will save her a lot of pain in the future. They are such fun when you watch them playing, aren't they?! :)

Barbara Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:00am

So beautiful. Thank u.

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:53am

xxxxx

Helen Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:05am

I recently acquired an addition to my family; a little black cocker spaniel. So there is me and my lab and my new puppy. The little one is so full of energy and a real joy to be around. My dogs make such a difference to what could be a lonely life. I miss my husband who died two years ago. I miss him very much. Having my dogs gives me a real focus and a lot of comfort.

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:54am

Animals really do make a huge difference. Especially in the house. I am not lucky enough to have Fleur at home with us, but we have a cat and since getting her the house is so different. I imagine your puppy brings life and exuberance on days when you are feeling rubbish and brings smiles to you when you think it is impossible xxx

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 4:51pm

Dear Helen, so sorry your husband died. It must still be so raw. Animals are wonderful...out on my daily walks, I often meet peeps and get chatting and often find that the person is widowed and their daily contact with the outside world is because of their dog. I do hope puppy is settling in to its new life with you and the lab! Bear x x

The Gardener Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 10:32am

I want to say a huge 'thank you' to Frankie and Sally in yesterday's replies. Gave comfort and strength. Knowing what Sally went through particularly 'helpful' in underlining that decisions must be made for the well-being of the sufferer. I have seen many cases like Sally's, where the mother felt it was her right/duty/sacrifice to look after the child/spouse/parent herself. This wore her out physically and mentally, often wrecked the marriage and led to neglect of siblings. There is a time to 'let go'. I'm very ambivalent about today's blog - so glad the horse is giving so much pleasure, comfort and relief. Our vet has a mascot, a glorious blue/grey Persian, found in a terrible state in a ditch. She spends the week-ends with us. Went to fetch her Friday, I called her, she came tearing up from the back of the shop, asked to be picked up, curled herself round my neck and licked my face. People in the shop just stared. I always find that people who rely totally on their animals for comfort are in danger of backing away from the real issue - reach out to the HUMANS who can help you through the depression. I will never forget the joy of hugging, grooming and riding a beautiful horse. But having spent time in areas where so many children are suffering horribly I feel animals should be regarded rationally. In those places, of course - animals are normally treated abominably. I have a joyful photo (will dig it out for Caroline) of the visit when our Indian protegees moved into their 'new' quarters. And they acquired rabbits, hamsters and guinea pigs. Those animals were almost loved to death. It is now acknowledged the benefit of animals to many types of handicap in children, autism in particular, I think. As a teenager, with the bitter separation of my parents, I spent every moment with my horses or the birds which were my father's business. There was always a dog as well. I think, like Dani, that the animals were vital at that miserable time - but I came out the other side - to a lifetime involved with people and an animal alongside. I am sadly separated by the channel and my husband's state from a (literally) great pleasure, grooming my son's shire horses.

Norman Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 11:46am

TG I can underline your comments about human contact. I have a friend of long-standing. I would love to take this friendship on to other levels. When we first met I felt that she could be "the one," and we dated tentatively for a while. Due to a very abusive relationship many years ago she has built her life around her dogs and cats, her work and her (now grown-up) daughter and doesn't want to risk being hurt again. She even calls it her comfort zone. I feel we are both losing out.

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 4:54pm

That's so ve ve sad, Norman. Is it time you both got together and had this conversation out loud? I bet you don't want to be hurt or to hurt her either, but surely, if you both don't take a chance on each other...ask her to think of what she might be missing. And if you like animals then you can both take poochies for walkies and then snuggle up in the sofa with kitties....sounds like a plan!! Hope all going week in week three! Bear x

Norman Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 7:53pm

Some of our dates were dog-walking sessions which were lovely, like an old married couple already. However since my ex-wife traded me in for a 10-yr younger model I have my own fear of rejection. Day 18 and counting!

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 8:58pm

Eighteen? I say, 18???!!!! Woohoo! Am so proud of you! And do you know? A trade-in? I think my other half would trade me in ve ve quickly...if he didn't have his own faults! I do wish you could tell her how you feel...and dog walks? Bliss, especially when you're in lurve!!! gfi! Norman, gfi...you HAVE to...if not for you, for her! ?..or me!! Think of this as: the material for a new romantic book I'm going to write about you two!! Bet..I've been s ve ve bad bear and eaten everything in sight. Amabearthatneedstellingoff.com x

The Gardener Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 11:57am

I was really happy to read your reply, Norman. You have to tread so circumspectly where animals are concerned - I have been guilty of saying hurtful things when I have seen people alienate human friends in favour of their animals. One lady, recently widowed, refused to go to Australia to see her only daughter (who turned out to become depressed 'down under') because she refused to leave her dog with anybody. The dog died, daughter divorced, and is now back in UK. Who was the more important?

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 12:33pm

agreed TG, you do need to be careful and not forget loved ones too. How awful that she didnt get to see her daughter and was almost obsessional with the dog. Luckily I have a brilliant cat sitter and horse sitter and ensure I still go and visit family etc. It makes the cuddles even better when I havent seen them for a while!

The Gardener Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 12:03pm

Addition to the above - there was also a grand-daughter - who thanks to mother's depression and ensuing divorce became 'difficult' at school, did not like Australia, was bullied and unhappy. If anybody need 'Granny' it was that child.

Jan Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 12:06pm

How very true! Milly ,my 9year old Great Dane is my one and only lifeline and companion, my husband after 50years of marriage now permanently in a Nursing Home. Milly is always with me at home as well as making me get out and about whenever!!!!! Thank you, Milly and thank you Moodscope!!!!

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 12:34pm

ahhh bless her. She sounds like a saint :) give her lots of cuddles xxx

The Gardener Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 1:03pm

If anybody thinks I am immune to the comfort given by animals can re-read my blog of 18 March this year 'Anthropomorphic'

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 5:59pm

Not at all Gardener, I appreciate your point and I have too known people who are very insular and not interested in people/families and only their animals. Members of my fathers family are very like that but only interested in their own little families and never interested in their siblings and their children which pains my father continuously as he is the one to reach out always and they just arent interested. Animals are great, but so are people too. xxxx

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 7:46pm

Your father sounds so warm and caring Dani...lucky to have him around to show everyone the way! Bear hugs x

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 4:59pm

Really appreciated your blog today Dani. Reminds us to give our pets an extra cuddle...(as if we needed reminding!!!)
We adore our pooch and he comes up to me with his Galaxy Minstrel eyes (yup, they are huge and brown!) and y just can't help but love him, spoil him etc. We often think how wonderful it would to be him, so long as we had peeps like us as owners...!! Wouldn't want to be a doggit in a bad household.... :(

Just back from the doggit walk and we are windswept and rosy cheeked and he is searching for his food! Keep enjoying your lovely horse, Fleur...I bet she's beautiful. Thanks Dani, Bear hugs x

danielle Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 5:57pm

he sounds like a truly wonderful dog! i just love how happy they always are and how trusting and playful they are. They can show us to enjoy the simple things - if they are fed, warm and have a stroke they are usually content! We would do well sometimes to live this simply I think! :) xxx

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 7:45pm

Oh yes, Dani, I Lurve hugs, to be fed and definitely warm!! Bear warmth x

Jennifer Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 6:30pm

Lovely blog Dani. I don't have animals in my life at the moment but I know of their restorative powers and spirit. They help to slow us down. To focus on the present. Us humans can learn a lot from them. Jennifer x

danielle Mon, Nov 16th 2015 @ 8:51am

We certainly can Jennifer I love the simplicity of their lives, food warmth and companionship and they are content :) xx

LillyPet Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 8:01pm

Hi Dany, what a beautiful blog.
Pets can bring such joy and companionship to so many.
Their simple and innocent nature can be such easy company. No politics, no drama, just living in the now, sharing affection and a vulnerability that makes them easy to love and can enhance our sense of purpose.
Even the smallest of pets have had their own personalitiess and become part of our family.
Animals can have healing and therapeutic qualties that I dont fully underand but just accept as being so.
I understand the point that companionship from a pet doesn't replace human contact, though.
Thanks for sharing your lovely Anniversary with Fleur LP x

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:01pm

You're so right Lillypet....your name is a flower and a pet!! Lol! I think we appreciate our Pete because we know they are only going to live a few years, whereas, we expect human relatives to last a human lifetime! Lovemadawg.com x

LillyPet Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 10:07pm

Good point well made honey Bear! Big hugs to you an your dawg! LillyPetxxx

danielle Mon, Nov 16th 2015 @ 8:53am

Yes LP I agree, we can learn a lot from their simple innocent nature. I spent a few years whilst at university with no animal contact due to circumstances, and now I have Fleur and my cat Inky I do feel complete again :)xxx

Rebecca Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 9:05pm

Know exactly what you mean Dani. I have two horses and hate to think where I would be without them. They have helped me through some really tough times. I wouldn't be without them although find with my anxiety that at times I worry myself sick about them. Sure if it wasn't them I would be worrying about something else though. They have taught me a lot as well. My latest Tb mare has taught me patience and calm as she gets very wound up and feeds off my emotions.

danielle Mon, Nov 16th 2015 @ 8:55am

Funny you say this Rebecca - I do worry about her a lot but still feel that the good she does me outweighs the worrying about her! Fleur is also TB and continuously struggles with weight so I worry about that. This year I went on holiday to Azores near Portugal where horses are a farm machine really and it was there that I realised I didnt need to worry about Fleur as she is pampered beyond belief - as I am sure yours are too! They are such beautiful and clever animals arent we lucky :) to top it all of we went to dressage comp on Friday and won our test in a class of 24! over the moon xxx

Nicola Mon, Nov 16th 2015 @ 8:26pm

Lovely post. My horses are so important to me, as are my dogs and cats. According to my counsellor, they are 'protective factors' - the things that make us want to keep living. Anything that brings joy and companionship should, I think, be treasured. xx

danielle Wed, Nov 18th 2015 @ 8:56am

Treasured always Nicola :) xxx

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