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Endings. Sunday March 19, 2017

We all experience endings
On our journey through life
Some of us appear to pass
Through very rugged terrain.

Somewhere along our way
We experience an ending
Some are more painful
Distinctly more dramatic.

These can be life changing
This year I have experienced
At least five endings
Fortunately not due to loss
Through an eternal separation.

Please help me to come
To terms with the various endings
I have experienced recently
Fully accepting that they
Could possibly be fresh horizons
New beginnings for the other.

A chance to use
What they have learnt
During our encounter
A meeting of lives
And a hope that
It was also a meeting of minds.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Molly Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 1:27am

Hi Zareen. Loss is not always death but can feel like it. I 'lost' someone very important to me, I think about him every day. He chose to move on, without me. I blame myself for this, which is why I could relate to Leah's guilt blog. People come and go in our lives, a meeting of minds, is a good way to look at it. Every experience we have has some meaning. I think things happen for a reason. I like to think I have benefited from everyone that has been in my life, in some form or another. If they are supposed to come back in our lives, I believe they will. This is one way that I cope. The other thing is the time theory. Time does heal pain, a cliche I know but true, and another cliche, every door that closes, another does open. Fresh horizons, as you say. There will always be something fresh waiting for us. The variety of life!! Thanks for your blog, put in poem form, made easy reading, yet said so much xx

LP Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 6:58am

I'm sorry for your losses Zareen and hope that in time you will indeed find yourself in a different and harmonious realm.
Your title made me think of how sceptical I was about the way we can be conditioned by stories and folms to want a happy ending. Maybe it's not such a bad thing though. Rather than false hope about what is, we can have hope about as you say about what could be.
I dont like big good byes. So perhaps although things do run thire natural course or sometimes an innatural course, in a way it is never really the end. Just as those things have brought about change, so the turmoil that sometimes comes with change will it'self run it's course.
I liked the hope that ran through your writing Zareen. Love and loght to you and all. LPxx

Orangeblossom Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 7:33am

Shanks for the two positive responses to my blog Molly & LP. I write to make sense of some difficult & painful situations. Hope you have a good day & also a fulfilling forthcoming week ahead. Love

Orangeblossom Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 7:34am

I haven't been at the booze yet. Just a typo. I wanted to say thanks for your responses to the blog.

LP Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 10:02pm

Yoy're welcome! Hic :) xx

Sally Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 7:55am

Sorry for your losses, Zareen. A loss is a loss, and felt as such. We feel the loss of our youth ( though personally I wouldn't want to be 21 again!) , of certain friends, of closeness to a group we used to belong to, of opportunities, oh, all sorts of losses. And stopping to mourn them, or at the very least acknowledge them, is important I believe, in order to move on.
The blessings jar could come in handy here: loss this, but gain ( blessing) that. For every loss there is a gain, however slight.
I used to know someone who said " Every breakdown is a breakthrough. Well, at the time, it felt far from it, but in retrospect, ....
Good luck, Zareen, with coming to terms with your recent losses. Virtual hugs sent. Sally

Orangeblossom Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 8:04am

Thanks for your warm, kind words Sally. I loved the "every breakdown is a breakthrough" though when the cracks begin to appear, it doesn't feel like that. Love

Jul Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 8:52am

So are you saying Zareen that you hope that the other people involved in the endings will have gained too from the relationship/ friendship or what it was that you had together? And that you hope in the future you might be reconciled or at least meet up again in a happy way? I really love the way you have expressed yourself; as Molly said, the "poem" form, made it very easy to read and for me a rather new approach to writing and particularly expressing ones feeling. i am going to try it. Thank you very much Zareen for this. Julxx

Molly Mon, Mar 20th 2017 @ 4:06am

Thanks for the mention Jul. You think along the same lines as me. I believe that the other people involved have also benefited. How can they not. I re read zareens poem and yes it's a source of comfort that they remember us, the way we remember them. As each relationship we have is unique and there will always be reminders for both parties. I know my 'loss' thinks about me, we shared too many special moments, he just found it easier to lose contact, it hurt him more by hearing from me than pretending I wasn't there anymore. But he will never forget me (not sure I have ever said that) but it's true, it has to be and I just want him to be happy and if I have lost him then what is it they say, "if you love them, let them go" hope this helps Zareen as well or Orangeblossom, or whoever you are, with love, Molly xx

Jul Mon, Mar 20th 2017 @ 9:18am

Hello Molly. Thank you for this. I was thinking last night about one particular person who went out of my life very dramatically and wondered if and how he thought about me now.You were up early this morning. I hope you are OK. Julxx

Molly Tue, Mar 21st 2017 @ 4:10pm

Sometimes I have trouble sleeping Jul. I'm sure that person thinks of you, we are all human (well most of us) :-) xx

Leah Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 9:05am

Thanks for your poem. AS I said in a blog recently I am not good at coping with change and this is what endings and loss mean to me-changes. Of course changes are not always a bad thing. I wish you strength to cope with your losses. Hugs Leah

Molly Mon, Mar 20th 2017 @ 4:12am

Hi Leah, I have a terrible fear of being abandoned. This even happens to me if my husband goes to the loo or a friend who has been here for hours decides it's time to leave! I get over it quite quickly, but endings are horrible, thing is, everything does have to from me xx

The Gardener Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 10:56am

Sally, I am desperately trying to find things to put in the equivalent of your 'blessings' jar! My loss is of hope, I can think of no more I can do for Mr G - he is sunk in profound misery and depression - he has found a vein of sarcasm and remarks designed to hurt (more and more I cannot believe that this is ALL down to the illness, except, of course, that his character has changed). In my 'jar' - the welcome at church - a very good friend saw my face, the state of Mr G - she pushed him back to the house and invited us to coffee this afternoon - she's made a cake. Blackbirds 'revving up' for nesting season. Trees in church square just breaking into flower, before the leaves. Breadshop window so mouth-watering - they, also, revving up for Easter

Sally Tue, Mar 21st 2017 @ 6:58am

When Mr G starts with the nasty comments, disarm him: refuse to take the comment at face value and say: "of course, I realise you mean the opposite." (E.g. I hate you/ I love you) it worked with one particularly troublesome person I had to deal with. Worth a try? Having said that, TG, I can well imagine your loss of hope. You have to all intents and purposes lost the partner you had. It is a cross to bear, given the emotional tie of years that binds you. It is cruel that so many partners should be in sole charge at their time of life. I can only repeat: get more help. Refuse to accept the status quo. Sometimes you need to be freed. Respite is a double edged sword because it gives you a taste of freedom before you are once more caged up. I remember. Sending warm wishes and virtual hugs and wishing I could help.

mark Sun, Mar 19th 2017 @ 10:32pm

All life is suffering. Isn't that a Buddhist philosophy? And no, that doesn't help when 'loss' happens and despair invades your life.
Loss has always been the root of my depressions. Losing mum, losing wife, losing children, losing home, losing wife 2, losing job, losing my self... I could go on.
But what have I learnt? Because if I can take anything positive from experience, then all is not 'lost'. To many people I'm just an ordinary guy. I play football, yoga and martial arts. I have a job. I sometimes go to the pub and talk man-stuff. I have a large family I see often.
The key word here is congruence, or transparency. I haven't been 'real'. I have spent many years being what I thought I should be. Acting the way I thought was expected of me. The person I was wasn't me. I always wore a mask. Why?
Because I was afraid if they all knew how afraid I was ,how sensitive I was, how unhappy I was often, that I cried and felt sad... then they wouldn't accept me.
So I have learnt a very valuable lesson - to be REAL.
To express myself authentically and not to be afraid of what 'they' think. Because holding all these emotions inside is poisoning me. The have literally been de-pressed inside me for too long.
But it's not easy. It's not easy to not give a sh*t what other people think. But I need to save my 'self'.

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