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Don't underestimate the power of language. Friday January 3, 2014

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when one has a bad day we resort to describing it as "Eugh" or even with just a disgruntled sigh?

This seems to only add to that feeling of exhaustion and lethargy, as it reconfirms that the day was indescribably bad. Maybe, if we tried to put in to words what the actual problem was, it would take some of the power out of it all.

Perhaps if we worked out what was actually so bad about the day, it wouldn't seem quite so awful.

This morning, I was sitting at work and silently seething about a personal problem with an ex boyfriend. For a second, I took a step back and thought to myself, why am I so mad?

So, out came the pen and paper, and fairly quickly a list was forming of all the reasons I was frustrated. Once they were all written down, I felt immeasurably better. I could see exactly what was going on, and understand that the feelings I was having were perfectly justified and even understandable. I felt so much better.

My message is, maybe when we voice things (or write them down) and we can see exactly what it is that we are feeling, we can deal with them. Hiding away from our thoughts and feelings only gives them more power and can make them frightening.

Try it today, voice an opinion, write it down or tell someone how your day actually was. Who knows, it might work for you too.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our Blogspot:

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Gower Preston Fri, Jan 3rd 2014 @ 8:43am

Really good point. A good step in the above process or even done in isolation, is to give a proper 'name' to emotions. A good way to do this is to place one hand on the stomach and one on the chest bone (connecting the 'real' and the 'ethereal') and then voice out loud exactly how something makes you feel. Well worth trying.

Julia Fri, Jan 3rd 2014 @ 12:05pm

This seems a good idea Beth. I always blame my low moods on not sleeping well the previous night but I think by writing down what is bothering me, it might help me not to focus on my sleep. Good idea!

Anonymous Fri, Jan 3rd 2014 @ 5:04pm

This is an excellent idea - I often write a list of things that are bothering me, Some times it is all you need to stop them spinning round and round and your head!

Great idea there Gower - I will try this too.

Anonymous Fri, Jan 3rd 2014 @ 5:52pm

Superb post and comments. I find it fascinating that much of what happens to shape us occurs before the age of seven, when, according to Piaget, our abilities to direct our language abstractly develops. It perhaps could be quite powerful to offer 7 year olds a couple of hours of conversation while they can still remember their younger years. "Why do you think your parents divorced?" Child: "Because of me." or another conclusion. Those could be resolved while they are still "soft" in the child's mind towards a conclusion closer to the truth (the parents had too many fights, let's say.)

Unpacking the dehydrated "inner speech" we feed ourselves restores richness and color to our thought processes. And more richness increases our available options for rearranging our thoughts.

And thanks Gowers for that suggestion, just used it and it helped a lot.

Lostinspace Fri, Jan 3rd 2014 @ 10:14pm

The stomach is the "real" and the chest bone is the "ethereal".?This would explain why we sometimes feel sick about our situation? And that we don't pay enough attention to the ethereal? Sometimes it is so hard to trust to the ethereal which is more relevant to our emotional well being than reality - the practicalities of everyday life get in the way of emotional well being. When I place my hand on my stomach AND my chest bone I have no idea what to say except that I have to take deep breaths.

Jojo Sat, Jan 4th 2014 @ 11:16pm

Went out and got myself a note pad :) thanks for the tip Gower

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