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Do you ever H.A.L.T. to help yourself? revisited. Monday May 5, 2014

A frantic phone call from a stranded hubby was a rude awakening for me this morning: "The car's been stolen" (with apologies to anyone who has experienced this). Throwing on some clothes I set off to rescue him, mind whirring, not quite able to believe it. Normal reaction I guess.

By the time I reached him (twenty minutes later) he ruefully admitted that it hadn't been stolen; he had simply walked down the wrong street. Now, when you consider that he had been at an emergency dentist appointment, having hardly slept all night because of the raging toothache and ongoing back ache, then I think you will agree it was not a surprising mistake.

The incident reminded me of Les' excellent post "Do you ever H.A.L.T. to help yourself" Friday 21st March. "The real value of the acronym 'H.A.L.T.' is that when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, it's best not to make any important decisions about what to do, where to go, or your direction in life."

I think that we can also apply H.A.L.T. to everyday life; if we are feeling hungry, thirsty, tired, in pain, aching, sad, angry etc. then we need to allow ourselves time to recover and to regroup. (Hubby has taken himself off for an afternoon rest as I write this and I can hear him laughing over whatever he is reading).

We ask too much of ourselves and of our minds and bodies if we expect to feel happy, positive, energetic, lively etc. all the time. I don't know about you, but I tend to beat myself up for my low moods. We need to give our overworked bodies and minds a chance to recharge. We need to be gentle, accepting and nurturing of ourselves. We need to remind ourselves that "all things pass, and this too will pass in time".

A Moodscope member.

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Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 7:15am

Thanks Frankie, and I hope your husband is fully recovered. I find HALT essential. When I am faced with a decision to be made, even a small one, when I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired, that itself increases my stress levels and it becomes circular, getting tighter and tighter.

When I know I'm HALT, leaving the decision to another time does not cause the double whammy of guilt and more stress because I'm delaying making it. but relief because I know I'm acting sensibly and being kind to myself. This results in a positive feeling. It's a timely reminder, thanks again.

Julia Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 8:56am

Yes I agree with Anon above. I say "stop" when things get too frantic, usually in my whirring mind at night. Well done Frankie!

Lex McKee Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 9:20am

If you find yourself hungry,
Pause and eat;
If you find yourself angry,
Pause and count to ten;
If you find yourself lonely,
Reach out and touch another's life;
If you find yourself tired,
Reach in and rest a while...

A timely reminder, Frankie (and Les), and a great story with a happy twist.

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 10:13am

Well done Frankie. Very sensible advice. You cannot know just how pertinent it is to my situation at the moment too! H.A.L.T. It is from now on. I shall inscribe it somewhere really prominent!! Thank you very much for your blog. S.

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 10:25am

Here's the scenario: niece arrives in from seeing friends. Her mother accuses her of being on drugs. Niece reacts angrily, swearing she is not , both stand their ground, and niece leaves the maternal house saying she will return Sunday to pick me up. ( must explain: we had driven down to help niece's mother who has a serious health problem. Mother not happy niece had gone out to see a friend during 48 hour visit. Had H.A.L.Tl. been appliied by either party, the situation would not have escalated to a slanging match with lasting consequences, and pain for all, including me as piggy in the middle! It transpires niece was not on drugs, but now a relationship is broken, no trust between niece and her mother now.

Bunnykins Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 10:49am

Thank you, I'm going to put HALT in a prominent place!

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 12:00pm

Hi Anon 7:15 - yes thanks, fully recovered. I am still learning to apply HALT myself ... Frankie

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 12:02pm

Thanks Julia (How are you doing?) Frankie

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 12:03pm

Thanks Lex: this is brilliant and could be a blog in itself! Frankie

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 12:04pm

Thanks S. Good luck! Frankie

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 12:07pm

Oh dear; I am afraid that I am too quick to react, just as mum did here - with similar consequences, though thankfully not lasting ... Ironically I snapped at my daughter last night ... It is easy to say, much harder to apply! Frankie

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 1:39pm

Loving HALT!!! Love from the room above the garage.

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 1:46pm

Hi Bunnykins and room above the garage: glad it helps! Frankie

Walnutsmum Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 3:00pm

Thank you, this post really helped on day when I was feeling low and beginning to take it out on my partner.

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 3:29pm

I am glad - it is so easy to take it out on our nearest and dearest isn't it!

Richard Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 5:33pm

HALT is great. I am learning. Thankyou, Frankie.

heather Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 5:36pm

I found that rather beautiful, Lex. Need to write it down.

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 6:10pm

Hi Richard - you and me both! Frankie

Silvia A Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 8:18pm

Hi Frankie, I can relate to your husband incident happening to me recently.

I wrote a comment in another blog where you answered me. I would like you and Lex and Julia to read it (and other Moodscope members too, of course):

Anonymous Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 9:00pm

Hey, congratulations Silvia! Sounds like you are really making progress and have moved on a long way in recent weeks - brilliant stuff! It gives the rest of us hope and encouragement in the dark days that things can and will get better. Yes, being active helps me too; I love the idea of the timer to keep you alert (and change activity I'm guessing?) Keep up the good work! Frankie

Silvia A Mon, May 5th 2014 @ 10:06pm

Timer: to remind me that the water is boiling, that the clothes are fine after 20 minutes emerged in a solution to remove stains, that I have 30 min to leave in order to be on time so I can have 3 x 10 min to complete tasks and need not to check my wristwatch every 2 minutes. I can do a little of multitasking and do short tasks ( that are not the best choice for the moment) without getting lost. Also to chronometer how long do I need to complete a task. I found many tasks takes much less than I "feel" they do.

Anonymous Tue, May 6th 2014 @ 5:16pm

Fascinating - thanks Silvia - Frankie

The Nutty Knitter Tue, May 13th 2014 @ 12:18pm

Thanks for this post, it's really helpful. Keep blogging.

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