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A cry for help. Tuesday July 14, 2015

If we are not born genetically with them, or if they are not caused by an internal disfunction, we get depressions from the hardships that hit us from the outside world...This is what depressions do: they tend to find one way or another to get to us. I don't believe a person doesn't go through at least one depression in his life (recognized or not). We may as well admit that we need a survival kit for these times, just as for an earthquake, tsunami or avalanche. Because this is how a depression feels like for the person it hits.

So, as I was going through my first real depression in my life (as I like to call it), I was sent by I don't know which Higher Power, an understanding of my situation and the desperate means I should take to get out of it alive. This worked for me, maybe everyone needs to listen carefully to his own intuition and do whatever they feel it will get them on the other side safely.

My depression was caused by a combination of heartbreak, feeling of betrayal, loss of an entire group of friends, of loneliness and of material hardship. I fell into a deep hole and I was alone on the entire world. Or I thought/felt I was. It brings me to tears even remembering the feelings and thoughts I had. And I went into this state a proud, arrogant woman.

I realized though that I needed help. So I started asking for it. Emotional help...from my parents, from a Facebook group, from Moodscope, even from some strangers who saw my condition. I started opening my mouth and saying what I thought and what I felt, one word at a time, one feeling at a time, taking my time. This showed to some the real me, the real person behind the make-up face. They got to know me and they liked what they saw.

I realized being open and honest and not hiding will not alienate people, on the contrary. I got the courage to say I don't feel well, I don't like some things, I am not happy and I asked for advice. I cried for help and it came at the right time through all the unexpected people and situations. I let pride aside and this attitude brought new friends in my life and the experiences and happiness I couldn't even dream of.

I know I am a completely different person now; I wouldn't want to go through that horrific time again, but I am thankful for it. It made stronger and I am proud of what I accomplished. I wish you all the same.

Kindest regards

Camelia
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

Julia Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 8:45am

Good morning Camelia. You were very brave and your intuition served you well. I am a great believer in intuition and doing what feels right. I have never been "hit" by a depression. It has always been with me. It evolved so to speak. Also I have not been open with people as you have. I know it helps so many people to tell their friends & family what is wrong.The only people I have been open with are Moodscopers and I think this is because I know they will just "get it". I don't have to go into great detail about my issues with you all; you understand immediately, my language, my feelings, my words, worries and anxieties. Thank you for this Camelia. You have made me assess what helps me and what my intuition is telling me.

Robina Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 9:05am

thank-you Camelia
asking for help is a huge problem for me. i imagine everyone will say that they are too busy. thanks for inspiring me to reconsider. we cannot do everything on our own.

Mary Blackhurst Hill Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 9:22am

It takes so much courage to start being honest, to stop pretending, to risk rejection. I salute you for that Camelia.

valerie Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 10:55am

What an inspiring post Camelia.It does take guts to "come out" and tell people you have had mental health problems.I have no reason to believe that my own circle of friends and colleagues is unique,and a high percentage have sought help for mental distress,several being hospitalised/sectioned.
And that does not include the many who seem to be struggling,using alcohol,cigarettes or food to survive the misery.

It sounds like the dark days are behind you,and this will be good for others to see there can be hope and survival.

Valerie x

Anonymous Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 11:14am

Hello Camelia, avalanche, earthquake, tsunami...yes, that's it. Even if it's a state that grows slowly, it can feel like being in one trying to survive. I'm glad you've shared it. I told nobody at all for many, many years and then told one person...it didn't help, in fact it felt like a slap in the face. It meant I didn't tell anyone again for a long time. You were brave to rip off the plaster! Well done! Love from the room above the garage x.

Anonymous Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 12:27pm

Dear Camilla, your feelings and experiences seem to mirror what I went through, so I can relate. Good for you girl for asking for help, I couldn't and so am on a second wave of misery and into all sorts trying to find my way out. I know that the only way is up! Believe, love Alice xxx

Anonymous Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 3:07pm

Alice, you're here...maybe we can help. Sometimes telling the ether gives clarification and a new starting point. Love from the room above the garage x.

Anonymous Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 3:10pm

Dear Camelia,
Be proud of the fact that you have opened up to some people - it can be very hard to do...to not know how someone else's reaction will affect you. Will they keep you at arm's length - talking about you in whispered tones, will they be scared of who you might become, or will they be loving and show you kindness?
May they be like the majority of Moodscopers showing kindness and love, and help in so many ways with blogs and responses to blogs.
Love Karen x

Anonymous Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 3:12pm

Absolutely...spot on, ratg. Karen x

Anonymous Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 4:22pm

Thank you RATG and Karen. Sorry Camelia for getting your name wrong. Such a pretty name and lovely spring flower. It certainly helps to share and to be on Moodscope. As someone else has said it's not just the blogs but also the comments. I hope you too have found this Camelia? Alice xx

Hopeful One Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 4:42pm

Hi Camelia- well done you! And tbdr this: you did it more or less by yourself which shows courage,perseverance and an instinct not to give up or give in. You are stronger for all that.

Anonymous Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 5:06pm

You are a strong lady, Camelia. And your story is an encouraging example of what happens when we ask for help to get through dangerous and difficult times. We all need each other, and help so often comes from, as you say, unexpected people or situations. Once we ask, it starts a process which can be quite magical. Happy for you! Thanks for sharing this. susan xx

The Entertrainer Tue, Jul 14th 2015 @ 5:07pm

Oh Camelia,
What wonderful words of hope for us all, and it felt like you were that Higher Power talking to me personally today.
I'm holding on to your phrase: "...happiness I couldn't even dream of."
L'xx

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