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Creativity and what it means to me. Saturday November 12, 2016

Before I suffered from insomnia and didn't really think much about creativity or worry about defining myself in any way, I objectively liked art and writing, literature and everything one would associate with the word. However I didn't see myself as creative.

I do now though so what has changed?

What has changed for me is the lows and highs I now experience from the good nights and bad. Before, I probably slept the same every night. Now, how I sleep defines how I feel the next day to such an extent that I lost my job because of it and now structure my days around that one thing. Insomnia or a good night's sleep.

Insomnia has forced me to think about myself more; to analyse my reactions, my interpersonal skills and my creativity.

Over the past how many years of insomnia, I don't dare think about it... I have changed into two people, one an extrovert on the scale of mild bi-polar as it only lasts one day at a time, a creative person who can write and feel good about myself, talk to people, be witty and so on and the other persona, who is self doubting, cross, cautious in my approach to people and generally lacking in self confidence.

So creativity has assumed mega proportions for me. I like creativity in others and myself but for the most part, it is elusive. I chase it but it doesn't appear as I am so tired and fed up with endless sleepless nights.

Creativity is important to me as I feel it's self-expression and is at the core of who I am. Or is it? You see I don't know.

I wish I didn't attach so much importance to it but it's the fact that I lose it so often that makes it so important.

A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Eva Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 6:35am

Hi jul, I am awake, not because I woke naturally but because my cat has decided that I should be! I have suffered insomnia and for the most part, kitten mischief aside have it fairly well under control now. It is hard to operate on little sleep especially over a long period. What have you tried?

I have used many techniques, and have now settled on meditation and mindfulness to control the racing thoughts, recently I have been doing the Calm sleep preparation meditations before bed and they seem to be helping. I have a "hello" sleep monitor which has really helped me to get into a good sleep routine and also to get my environment to an optimum. (I had to ask an American friend to buy it for me, but they may now be available outside the US), what the sleep monitor has shown me is that I am asleep more often than I think I am, it's still in early days of development but they improve it with updates regularly. I also don't worry if I do wake up, if I can't get back to sleep and pinpoint that my brain is starting to ruminate I put on something to listen to for an hour and generally find I don't make it to the end, if I do, I'll switch to reading. I don't find this frustrating as at least I have the fun of moving on with a story.

I also read Colin Espies sleep book, and was doing the programme, but my dad went into hospital and I stopped as I was under too much stress and my sleep cycle changed due to exhaustion, but I was finding it helpful. I did try using Kalms for a while but I don't think for me it was a healthy solution.

I think one of the main things that helped me was changing my attitude to being awake in the night, it changed from "oh man! Here we are again, groan!" to "OK, I get to hear the next part of my story, cool" I think that really helped me.

I am creative in that I paint, it's my job. I can still do it when I'm sleep deprived but I tend to work on background stuff if I have any concerns regarding my concentration. When my insomnia was at its worst I may not have been great company and could feel and be a bit punchy, but when I get into the flow state, that tends to take over and my body and mind forget the night before. Again maybe this is the attitude change that the flow state brings which changes my perception and reactions. If I am feeling rubbish, I say to myself that I'll just sit down to work for 15 minutes, and generally I find that I am eager to continue and go on to do as much as I had hoped for that day, if I can't then I get to go and relax which is fine as I get to read or watch a film.

I find this can change of state can also happen with contact, I can be feeling really crap. But if I have to interact with another human then I seem to force through the crap state and shake it off as it were and a happier me comes out the other side. I guess that's the human contact endorphins doing their magic.

I seem to have gone on a bit, and it's all "I, I, I!" apologies, I am hoping maybe there's a technique in there that may help? Right I'm off to get kitten cuddles.

Hopeful One Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 7:37am

Hi Eva- I used to sleep for 6 to six and a half hours until my wife developed Alzheimer's dementia and started waking up in the middle of the night ., shouting and screaming at the top of her voice threatening to call the police in her delusional state. So my sleep pattern changed as I lost sleep time trying to deal with this situation. When she was admitted to nursing home three years ago the new pattern stayed instead of reverting to my old pattern. It got worse as the psychological effects of the loss of a companion kicked in and I found myself waking up at 5 .26 am precisely ! No matter when I went to sleep. You ask what else is out there. Here is what I found useful to maximise my sleep efficiency ( Details in Colin Espie's book) 1. Like you I stopped worrying about it. I came across an article in the Daily Mail about three weeks ago written by Dr Michael Mosley of 'Trust me I am a doctor ' fame who also had insomnia. He also advised the same. Secondly he believes that many of us retain a Bi phasic sleep pattern from our past. In Victorian times it used to be called the First Sleep after which people would wake up go about their business until they were ready for their Second Sleep. He also uses a sleep deprivation test. Apparently sleep deprived people fall asleep within 5 min while non affected individuals take 15 min( it is called the spoon test). He has modified it so he sets his smart phone alarm for 15 minutes. If he is still awake then it's OK. 2. Meditation. I have worked out that one minute of meditation is approximately equal to 2 minutes of good sleep measured by one's feeling of freshness and alertness. I currently need at least 5 and a half hours. If I fall short I work out the difference and meditate for half that time and feel just as alert and fresh. It's not exactly like sleep but it's good enough. 3 . Another method I use is based on the ' Russian Story' in Andy Puddicome's book ' Get some headspace '. Like him I deploy my ability of 'awareness ' which meditation gives me When I wake up in the night the thought stream of my minds gets velocity my mind whirring ( rumination) I shift my awareness to my breath focusing on the in and out phases, If the 'thought velocity ' is mild to moderate this will get me back to sleep. When its severe than I don't beat myself up . I simply accept it ,get up and do something like reading or dealing with the correspondance or what ever. 4 . I found a partner . We can only meet for three nights due to our circumstances and on those nights I sleep like a top most of the time. It's not what you think does it( it helps without doubt) but I think it's the companionship more than anything else.

Eva Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:25am

I'm glad you have found a good pattern again HO, good to hear what works for me works for you too :)

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:57am

Eva. Thank you! I do so appreciate your words of advice and to hear of your experience with insomnia. I almost cried reading yours and Hopeful One's replies. I slept badly last night, no surprise there but your reply has made me think I should try something new. I had almost given up trying and more or less accepted or resigned myself to insomnia for the rest of my life. I've had it for so long, my body is used to it but cannot possibly function as it should. I push myself every day to lead an active life, ignoring my tiredness when it comes to exercise etc. I will definitely try your method especially the positive attitude to finding myslef awake at night. That's a good one! In the past i have tried sleeping tables, Zopiclone and Diazepam (Valium not strictly for sleep), I went to Colin Espie for a sleep consultation plus I have been to insomnia workshops, CBT etc etc. Dr Guy Meadows is very interesting about sleep and has written a book which I found excellent. I'll let you have the title as I've forgotten it right now. He concentrates on Mindfulness and other tools.Thank you again Eva and I am glad you spoke about yourself :) and it's especially encouraging to know that your job involves being creative and how you manage to get through this. I hope you are slowly getting over your father's death. i know this affected you very badly. Your kitten sounds lovely. Big hug to you both! Julxxx

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 9:04am

Thank you Hopeful One too for your lengthy reply. I hung on every word. I am so glad you have found solace in your new girlfriend after the very difficult agonising decisions you had to take re. your wife. You are so right, sleep deprivation doesn't automatically disappear once ones circumstances get better. A Dr told me this once as I blamed so many external influences on my insomnia and my idea was to get rid of them and then magically expected a full night's sleep to reappear. You saying this has made me think about my life now and it occurs to me that I have successfully eliminated most stresses and yet still I can't sleep. Maybe I am just too bored! Thanks again Jul xxx

LP Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 11:44am

HO I've found the same about the importance of companionship. It'll be different for everyone, but if there's something fundamentally bothering me, I struggle until I get to a place that the balance for me feels right. I'm so glad that you've found someone special to share some good ole vitamin L with! :))

Belinda Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 7:05am

Hi Jul, interesting blog. I must admit I usually sleep well, but have recently been through a state of of suffering with broken nights' sleep. Worrying and damaging.

Thankfully in a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, they did a session on sleep deprivation, which at the time I thought I would't need, however this turned out to be more interesting when I wasn't sleeping.
It must be awful to be continuously without a good night's sleep.

In the past I have gone up & down; have had days when I had marvellous ideas, but also crises.
When the mood dropped, guess what....... so did the ideas and energy associated with the higher mood score.

Over many years I have worked on me. Thankfully I have been given a tool which has at last enabled the amplitude of the moods I experience to reduce, and also the negative effects of high mood seem to have been pretty well eradicated. Latterly I have been scoring he higher scores without ill effects. Admittedly the amazing ideas are also not so free flowing, but there hasn't been damage to others and life is smooth for me. I am looking to move forward with the life I lead getting better & better over time.
A contentedness which is priceless.

One thing I'm working on is an improved sense of humour. Jul, I loved your kitten cuddles. May the kitten give you much joy. With love Belinda

Hopeful One Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 7:43am

Hi Belinda- here is something that might contribute to the humour. As you know I am a great fan of that. A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.The man sees a very nice looking LabradorRetriever sitting there."Do you really talk?" he asks the dog. "Yes," the Labrador replies. After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So, tell me your story."The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS. "In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping."I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. "Ten quid," the owner says. "£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden!!.

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 9:07am

Ha ha!! Belinda's idea of developing a sense of humour is a good one and just to have a laugh at jokes, relaxes me 100%. Thanks Hopeful. Julxx

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 9:11am

Hi Belinda. I am glad you sleep well normally and it's only temporary when you don't and you know why. The CBT helped you which is great. I know it helps many people to see things differently. I agree one has to compromise in life and maybe we shouldn't expect too much out of it. Be thankful for what we have achieved etc etc. You have given me things to think about. Thanks. Jul xx

DAVE Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 7:20am

Hi Jul,

Thank you for your blog this morning. I see quite clearly how you feel. So you may need to extract that which is applicable to your daily routine, from ONLY my opinion set out below.

Basically I believe it's getting the balance right between your physical and mental attributes.
I wonder why you are so concerned about your creativity, or lack of it.

You mention two people the extrovert,who's a good communicator and the other you.. the introvert lacking confidence withdrawn etc etc., what you feel is NORMAL for most of us...We cannot be and feel the same way every day, there is opposition in all things....So if we have a really positive day of confidence we will have achieved a lot more in our mind, putting rather more into our day, mentally ? Looking back Over your day, have you been able to rationalise all that mental concentration with BALANCED physical excercise, ?

Naturally, because the mental involvement, generally is not monitored as we go through our day, which can be exhausting and needs to be FED with physical excersise to keep equilibrium, and in so doing the mind and body go parallel and in harmony each day.

If that is what you're experiencing, putting more mental energy, with more confidence, then perhaps it's not surprising that your sleep pattern is affected.

First and foremost, creativity and sleepless nights are separate issues, and need to be dealt with accordingly.

Creativity is the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships etc, and then create meaningful ideas, forms, and methods, interpretations, to be original, progressive with loads of imagination.Most of this can be found by asking questions of others and how they cope

Diet plays a vital part in our make up, it has been overlooked by media and giants of industry and commerce for financial and political gains.

I've made up my own diet sheet and stick to this routine which not only keeps a steady BMI consistently....But more importantly AFFECTS the mind, the mental wellbeing...So overlooked by these greedy moguls, lining their pockets with fashionable foods and material objects which keep restraints upon those so sucked in to these conglomerates.

You and I are individuals, and therefore we need to have our own opinions of how we live, what we eat, and the right amount of physical energy, sufficient is a HALF HOUR-to HOUR WALK every day is sufficient, not all this power walking ! ! to obtain the best quality of life, even with Bipolar Depression and associated mental adversities.

Get into gear Jul and see how you feel in 6 weeks time.
Love Dave X.

Eva Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:27am

Totally with you on a healthy balanced diet Dave (no caffeine after about 4pm) and the walking, I also do yoga, there are some good postures for insomnia.

Eva Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:30am

Oops also meant to say, creativity imo isn't limited to creating art, music, literature, I think it can also be demonstrated in how you tackle the world, how you dress, deal with obstacles etc... Mentioned this in response to Leah's blog. Hope you have a lovely day to day, over and out.

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 9:13am

I am quite creative in my clothes so I mustn't forget that there are other facets of creativity as you remind me Eva. I shall think outside the box on this one. I think I have become too limited in my thinking about certain subjects. Thanks again .Julxxx

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 9:21am

Hello Dave. I will reply to your comment! I have to get on and do something right now but I will be back. Jul xx

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 10:07am

Wonderful reply Dave. Thank you! Oh dear sorry..I am being rushed by my OH to catch a bus. More later. Lovely advice thank you Jul xx

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 1:50pm

Hello Dave. You help us all with your kindness and I am particularly grateful for your suggestions today for me. The first thing that struck me from your comment was your question why am I so bothered by creativity or my ability to be creative. Leah who set me thinking differently about creativity echoes this and I am eternally grateful to both of you for lessening the importance I personally place on being creative. LP alludes to this too in her reply below which I have just read. The other thing which strikes a chord with me is the separation you suggest should exist between insomnia and creativity. This is music to my ears. For me they have always been inextricably entwined. I will have to think whether I balance my mental energy with physical on a daily a basis. When I'm on my bike, my mind races until I've cycled far enough for it to stop so I think probably I use up more energy on mental exertions now I think about it! Don't get me started on conglomerates and corporate greed!! I agree this applies to the food industry and I do avoid processed food and buy locally sourced food. I am lucky I have the freedom to do this..I like your definition of creativity and finally, I agree,we discover more about ourselves, life etc by talking to others and also engaging with people on Moodscope such as yourself. I know that while I have been a member of this group I have learnt more about myself from the kindness of others here than I did for years of searching for answers from books and medical experts.. Thank you for this Dave . Julxx

Sally Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:59am

I am interested in your quote by Van Gogh at end of your blog, as well as in the fact that you are a painter, Jul, Do you think there is any correlation between artists and depression, Jul? I tend to think that they (we) work them(our)selves very hard/ put them(our)selves under pressure...or maybe that's just the temperament...and experience burnout that is perhaps more common than in a lot of society...I don't have facts or figures, but do believe that when creativity dries up, for whatever reason, an overwhelming sense of bereavement, panic and fear is felt... in case it is The End, & it will not return.
Thanks for your interesting blog.

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 9:20am

Sally. Hi. I do know that many artists,comedians. writers etc suffer from depression and have done throughout history.. It must be the despair when that feeling or desire to paint, entertain etc dries up or deserts them even temporarily. That sort of personality and mine, panics, as you say and, you dread the next time this might happen so you live in fear of the next time. I must work on this. I don't paint actually. My mother did and I come from an artistic family of painters and cartoonists, book illustrators . Thank you Sally. Jul xxx

LP Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 11:34am

Hi Jul,
I wonder if you could creatively develop your other artistic side, explore how completely opposite it is to your prefered state of creativity? Just a thought!

There's one thing I've taken on board during this journey we've been sharing, exploing creativity. I can't make myself be creative any more than I can make myself sleep however much I want to do both!
It seems that there are states that we can relax into that just flow, feel right but we dont always know how we got there. Any pressure worry or forcing chases them away!

My tips, (apologies for any repetition!)
Sleep - stick to a good routine for a few days 9.30 for 10. Room teperature and bedding not too hot, but fairly heavy fabric.
Screens can be too stimulating for my brain, but I do have a deepest sleep youtube voice that is low soothing, calming and barely audible with lots of pauses,
Breathe deaply with gentle favourite smell on pillow, menthol works for me.
I let the soothing voice drift over/bore me to sleep, so quiet I forget that it's there.
(I get the fidgets some nights. Maybe it's energy that I haven't burned, or even seemingly harmless food/drink).

Creativity.- can't make it happen, it happens when I'm in the mood. I can do thinks that I enjoy for their own sake because I enjoy the process not the outcome, so I settle for that inbetween times (abit like not wairrying about sleep, just relaxing resting and breathing.)
Something fun to try:
Find a line drawing, (face of man mature in years is used in the book).
Turn it upside down. Copy it, not by copying the lines, but by copying the shapes of the Spaces Between the lines.
It feels very relaxing to draw what you can actually see, not what your logical brain thinks something should look like.
Turn it back around. Does it surprise you?
Not saying that it's creative by any choice of definition, just think there's something in being in a flow, a mental state that you can find yourself in that works without effort.
If mindfulness/ (just being aware of your immediate physical internal and external environment (meditation) can be learnt with practice, relaxing into the right mental state, accepting what is, for now, without judgement, complete focus with no distractions who knows what might be possible?

Then again could be spouting alot of nonsence! All easy for me to say when relaxed!
Love, peace and harmony to all.

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 3:08pm

Love peace and harmony to you LP! Thank you! It takes a lot of effort to write such a detailed reply especially on a Saturday morning so I really apprecaite it LP. I love your idea that actually both creativity and insomnia cannot be forced and it's best left to arrive naturally. I also like your advice about doing something I like and the creativity or free flowing thoughts will come without realising. All your suggestions are good and I will try the drawing. I think I am trying too hard to be creative (and to sleep). Honestly i thought I was the world's expert on insomnia but how wrong could I be. I have learnt so much about my attitude to it today and how I can rethink it. I do practice mindfulness but am not very good at sticking to it. Have a good weekend. It's raining where I am and very grey. Jul xxx

The Gardener Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 1:42pm

Insomnia, as so many of us know, is self-perpetuating and feeds on itself. I remember years of it - and as bedtime approached I got more and more stressed 'Will I sleep tonight', and of course I did not. Made much more nervous because Mr G, who had never heard of the word, hated being disturbed, although I crept out and went downstairs to the computer, or a book. If he woke up and I was not there he panicked, then I was in more trouble. However good a marriage is, if one is an insomniac then separate beds or rooms removes a lot of the stress. I read every book, every article - absorbed the '10 golden rules', sleeping pills did not work for long. Now I am in Hopeful One's situation, though not so bad at night. To survive, I need sleep, someone. Ironically now life is more difficult I sleep much better - although in short doses quite often. My body/mind seems to have taken over - I can go straight back to sleep again - woken 4 times before 3 a.m last night - and, for the first time in my life I can easily sleep during the day. Days are now the 'nightmare', one day out of respite and I am at near screaming point due to Mr G's 'limpet' attitude. He calls me every 3/5 minutes - radio on to amuse him, I call back, he can't hear, stalemate. I just have to ignore it and continue with my plans - but it seems to have bored into my head - the tap-dripping torture is horribly real. Respite is vital, still no chance of a permanent home, but after each week of 'freedom' going back to this being 'possessed' gets harder. The SAD syndrome has always got me - have escaped it for many years - now 'condemned' to the dark and gloom of winter, But still clinging to the creative 'high' of last week. This entails considerable exercise - our kitchen/dining room is 33 metres from the front of the shop where I am working - I've tried having a 'nest' in the middle of vital tools - but scissors, staplers, screwdrivers have a mind of their own. Waiting for the 'crash' when the masonry nail I've bashed into an old wall comes down complete with wall and picture.

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 5:01pm

I remember Gardener you writing about playing solitaire in the evenings when you couldn't sleep until you froze and then crept into your bed to get warm and sleep came easily. I must admit I haven't tried this! But I know when I am really rushed off my feet all week, without much time to spare for myself or my thoughts, I do collapse into bed and sleep better. So I can see how you might sleep better now you are looking after Mr G full time with little respite. I find your descriptions of your life living with a husband who has dementia, horrendous and unbearable. I always think how I know I just could not cope or tolerate my husband's health declining in this way but I also know that I would have to cope in the same way you do. It must be a living hell for you and I guess you would swap insomnia for the restoration of your husband's mental health (or the other way round;you get my meaning). I don't know how you can carry on like this but you will. Does Mr G have any medication to keep him asleep at night? Something that works? Not much does! Onwards and upwards I guess. Julxxx

Lexi Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 2:04pm

Hi Jul - thank you for the blog today. I used to suffer from insomnia terribly at the start of the decline of my marriage. I would wake up in a panic. I literally felt like I was suffocating. My life was a mess, money was a mess, friends and family were distant. The darkest hours....I did try sleeping pills for awhile like many of you, but they only help for so long and they aren't healthy to take for the long haul. Things I did: stopped drinking so much close to bedtime (a duh I know, but for me depression and drinking went hand in hand); and crosswords. I became a crossword fiend. I would do crosswords until I could barely keep my eyes open and then I would finally get a couple hours of sleep. I learned to tell myself not to listen to my thoughts during those bleak hours, that they were just thoughts, not real, and that I just get through it. Kinda like my depression. I had to learn to not listen to all the bleak voices in my head and trust that they wouldn't last forever. I work for myself so I am able to nap during the day. I don't make the money I used to but this lifestyle suits me so much better. Running/exercise also helps to give me a good night's sleep (by good I mean about five hours). And finally, sleeping with my daughter. Once my husband left I used to also wake paranoid about someone breaking into the house. She started sleeping in my bed and I felt safer and I think it helps both of us sleep better! Anyways, my just my thoughts. I do wish good sleep for you soon. xo Lexi

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 5:14pm

Hello Lexi. I just lost my reply to you! Never mind. I find that the more tired I am, the more my thoughts become jumbled but it's then I should see them as just thoughts as you say. I am so sorry you had such a panicky time when your marriage began to fail. It sounds a bad time with all the other worries compounding the marriage breakdown but thankfully much better now that time has elapsed and you've found good strategies which work for you. There have been times in my life when I too have resorted to alcohol to ease each day but it's not a long term strategy which works sadly. I may try crosswords. My daily paper has an easy one in the supplement which I've never really got into the habit of doing. It sounds so cosy sleeping with your daughter giving each other comfort. Thank you very much for helping me. You have! Jul xxx

The Gardener Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:44pm

Hello Jul - I'm sorry you find my description 'horrendous', but, as HO knows, it is a living hell - and through Moodscope and other help I am becoming calmer, the hysterical outbursts have finished. I've said how important radio is, really listen, make sure I don't miss 'favourites', listen to music, proud when I recognise composers - re-starting piano playing. When I was first told of Mr G's illness nobody minced words - it was going to be 'tough'. There is no point in hood-winking the carer - if you read at all the literature available will tell you exactly what you are in for. I got unlucky in the change of temperament - many 'cases' slide into gaga land without becoming nasty, petty, even manipulative. I must admit facing this in the last two months has been a shock. I've just watched 'Strictly' with absolute determination - Mr G agitating beside me and I took no notice at all. All great fun and 'takes one out of oneself'. Watched the French version on Thursday, rubbish.Like you, Jul, many people say they could not cope - but you have no choice. If you have money it does make a huge difference, but I think, honestly, that if you shot your O/H into the nearest home as soon as life got 'difficult' you might have a job living with yourself

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:59pm

Hello Gardener. I am sorry I didn't mean your descriptions were horrendous! I meant the situation you describe. I feel for you every time I read your comments on daily life living with Alzheimer's so close to you. I don't remember any hysterical outbursts at all in your writing if that's what you mean. I can imagine my hysterical outbursts if I had to live with someone dear to me who became ill in this way. I am glad you feel calmer these days though. Glad you watched Strictly! Jul xxx

Leah Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 8:48pm

for a great and thoughful blog. you have definitely given us a lot to think about.
you have shown us a different side to creativity and how it interacts with insomnia

Jul Sat, Nov 12th 2016 @ 9:00pm

Leah. I am very grateful to you as you must realise I hope for showing me alternatives in my thinking about creativity. Jul xx

the room above the garage Sun, Nov 13th 2016 @ 7:58am

Hello Jul, just catching up, I read through all the replies here when I woke early (I wake around the same time regardless of what time I went to bed so tend to head to bed early to maximise the time I have, I'm most well on 8.5 hours but hard to get it!) I have nothing new to add from what has already been said but I just wanted to say that this little community is great, so sharp, smart and helpful. Love ratg x.

Jul Sun, Nov 13th 2016 @ 8:33am

Good morning ratg. Thanks for commenting. I agree with you! The Moodscope community is just as you describe. I was so grateful for all the the healing one from Victor which has appeared before. I expect he meant well:) Life goes on and it's sunny here. I know you prioritise sleep as much as you can and from what you say, your body clock works to perfection! Love Julxxx

the room above the garage Sun, Nov 13th 2016 @ 12:12pm

I fear Victor may have wanted credit card details but I could be wrong. We'll give him the benefit of the doubt and go with well-meaning :-D

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