Moodscope's blog

20

August


Comfort zone stay or leave? Sunday August 20, 2017

My neighbour was telling us how good she felt venturing out of her comfort zone, travelling for a few days by herself to a big city to go to visit an art gallery. She rarely goes away by herself as it makes her anxious so she was so pleased that she made the effort and had a good time.

A friend who heard this story, said to me later that she often hears and reads the term 'comfort zone' and how it appears we are constantly pressured to move out of our 'comfort zone.' She then confessed, against popular thought, that she likes the term comfort zone and has no wish to leave it.

She explained it took her a long time and many years of depression and sickness and struggle to reach a Comfort Zone. She wondered when did 'comfort' become a negative word?

I agree that Comfort is good, and feels warm, snuggly and healing.

While it is a great place to be in when the depression, insecurity, self doubts hits hard, it can be a place of retreat, where just being may be the best thing one can do at that time.

That does not mean that I always want to stay in that safe place. There are times for me when I need to experience something different. I know I always have soft place to land.

I wonder if part of liking ourselves is knowing when it is okay to be in our comfort zone, and to have the strength and ability to experience a new activity.

For some, staying in the comfort zone may mean that they are preventing themselves from growing or experiencing life. Maybe we can still do that from our comfort zone.

There is no point in pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to do public speaking, dancing or mountain climbing if you have no interest in those activities.

Once we feel better we can venture to try things which fit with our values or we would like to try.

So, are you someone who feels he/she has struggled so hard to have a comfort zone that leaving it is not an option?

Do you want to give three cheers for your comfort zone and say don't pressure me to leave as I took so long to get here?

What you have done when you moved out of your comfort zone and how did it feel?

Leah
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Daisy Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 7:13am

Thank you Leah for interesting and alternative blog. I decided to get fit and went to a trainer he asked me to do a "burpee" where you do a press up and the squat and do a star jump. I thought he was kidding but he just looked at me so I had a go. In my mind I was older not fit not capable- I hadn't even realised I had a boundary- sometimes you don't even know you are in a comfort zone ....

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:23am

Daisy, Thanks for your comment.I am glad you challenged yourself with your trainer.

The Gardener Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:55am

Daisy, I have reached a new 'low' in my life - something must be done - a new group has started for 'seniors' gym - I shall join - good osteopath in town. Also practice for church singing in vicarage each week - will go, love singing, dragging Mr G by some means or other, he cannot be left alone - with two house and two gardens I am not actually inactive, but be nice to do something 'organised' might stop bitching about 'me back!'.

the room above the garage Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 12:36pm

Fully agree Daisy, I had a similar experience. Love ratg x.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:05pm

TG, I never know whether to smile , cheer or cry at your comments, sometimes I do both. Looks like you have a plan. Thanks for your comment.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:06pm

RATG, I think I recall your blog about you and a new trainer. Take care xx

Mary Wednesday Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 7:58am

If you're happy in your comfort zone and have everything you need there, why move out of it? My elder daughter has just on an adventure week with the scouts. My husband looked at my younger daughter and I and suggested that we three go off somewhere new for an adventure. Both of us looked at him blankly. "I want to stay right here," my youngest said in determined accents. We like our comfort zone and see no need for adventure.

Sometimes, however, moving out of our comfort zone means we find new things to love. The last week of July saw both my girls sailing every day in an activity week. My youngest was convinced she would hate it and I promised I would never make her do it again. At the end of the week she loved it, entered the big competition week, and now sails every day she can. Another reason she wants to stay right here by the sea.

So it's a toss-up. Sometimes leaving our CZ means achieving long held dreams, sometimes it means finding new things to love and sometimes it just means being uncomfortable for nothing.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:30am

Mary Thanks for your reply. I am glad your daughter enjoyed trying something new. I suppose I am a bit confused by ,,,"and sometimes it just means being uncomfortable for nothing. " . Could it also mean being comfortable just with the way things are. ? I have met people who are quite content in their CZ. Everyone is different.

Lacey Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 9:50am

Mary and Leah Good morning! I am out of my CZ big time. I've applied to do volunteering with the local council coordinating people's visits to hospital etc with voluntary drivers.Lots of calling on the phone and organisation skills required but I can't wait to start if accepted. This was such a difficult decision to make as when I have a wobble I may not be able to go to work as I'll want to stay in my CZ ( bed) but, do you know what, it may well stop me falling in the hole again and that thought keeps me 'up there' instead of 'down there'!! Have a lovely day...and Mary I can't wait to see the sea again. Roll on next week when I'm in the New Forest with my lovely Mum againx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 9:57am

Lacey, that is wonderful . I hope you do that volunteering. It sounds very challenging and rewarding. Tanks for your comment.

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 4:52pm

Hi Leah, I think Mary meant that sometimes doing something challenging can be of benefit and sometimes it is a 'waste of time' if we are not going to enjoy it, ie 'uncomfortable for nothing' xx

Mary Wednesday Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 5:01pm

I think that what I meant was that if we leave our CZ but do find we hate what we do then we will feel angry that we have left it for nothing. If that makes sense. So, if my little one had hated every minute of activity week I would feel so guilty about making her leave hers.

Dragonfly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 9:34pm

Hello Lacey I hope you find the volunteering really worthwhile. I felt similar to you before I began volunteering, but it's brought me into contact with some of the loveliest people and new experiences including singing with the hospital staff choir and even performing in a choir festival. Miles and miles out of my comfort zone! I look forward to your blog and thank you for your reply to my comment a few days ago. I'd love to think that writing about my awful experience can diminish it to the size of a postage stamp, but being encouraged to write by someone I shouldn't have trusted caused me the problem in the first place. However I know this is a safe place and I value it enormously x

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:08pm

Molly, thanks for that comment. I like that interpretation.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:12pm

Mary W, Sorry I misunderstood your words.I suppose it depends on the person's attitude, I have done things outside my CZ that I have found very frustrating and I will never try again, but I am proud of myself I did try it once. Hope that makes sense. I can see as a parent how you feel bad. Thanks for explaining your original comment.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:14pm

Dragonfly, Thanks for your encouraging comments to Lacey. I am glad you liked the choir experience.

Mary Wednesday Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 3:56pm

A late reply, but Molly - you were absolutely right. Thank you for "getting" me.

Jul Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:01am

Hi Leah. Your blog as usual throws up some challenging questions! For me the alternative to my comfort zone is fear or unease. I also equate a comfort zone with old age which I fear so it's not an easy question for me to answer. I have intermittent internet access for a couple of weeks so will sign off now and think about what my comfort zone and being outside it really means to me. Hope to reply again later.(Just quickly I have been able to read all the blogs in recent days but not able to comment. I hope to at some point. Leah..as Daisy so rightly says your blog is alternative. Great writing. Jul xx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:35am

Hi Jul, Great to see your reply. Thanks for your kind words. I never thought about comfort and old age.. So you ave given me food for thought. I hope you get a chance over the weeks to get to the internet a little as your comments are always welcome and appreciated. Thanks Leah xx

Ach UK Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:18am

Hi Leah,
I'm posting early this morning, and snuggled up in bed with blue sky and silence from all neighbours apart from a bird tweeting, so feeling quite content and comfy.
My "comfort zone" waxes and wanes depending on my mood states and confidence and within different stages of my life.
I like your idea that comfort is where one feels safe and cosy and familiar, and I think those who insist we have to get out of it are either shortsighted or flogging adventure holidays for pecuniary gain.
Stretching ourselves is not necessarily a bad thing , but perhaps it's wise to check all is well in the comfy nest first.
(wry smile) ignorantly stepping too far I sent my nervous system right out of kilter! It's taken a long time to rebuild any semblance of a "Comfort Zone".
More importantly is for me to feel confident that my judgement is sound when I decide yes or no to trying things outside the Comfort zone and that I can say No with good self-esteem and not feel my friends will think I'm a wimp or killjoy.
As disclaimers might say " . . .your Comfort Zone may differ".
Good blog Leah, scratched some itchy places.

Lacey Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 9:54am

We all wax and wane moodwise even if we don't have a condition-emotional or otherwise. Leah,you write so well. However I'm definitely writing to Caroline with a blog which I really hope gets published for Moodscopers Watch this space Got to go,daughter arrives later and the house is a mess......been decluttering bigtime. Car boot next week !!

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 9:59am

Lacey, do write a blog. It took me out of my comfort zone and I now I look forward to the wonderful comments thought I still worry each time no one will reply!! I love car boot sales in UK much better than in Australia.

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 5:03pm

Hi Lacey, I agree to you writing a blog, it is satisfying seeing it published and receiving the comments. Like Leah, I also worry but so far it has been all good ! I guess I never thought of it as coming out of my comfort zone but I guess it is, as it is an achievement xx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:38am

Ach UK, thanks for your detailed reply. I like the way you have read my blog and considered each angle. .I like the idea of checking one's judgment is sound before one decides yes or no to trying things outside the CZ.

Lexi Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:56am

Hi Leah, I always love seeing your name and blog. Your posts always make me pause and think. I have been struggling for days now, with a stalled construction project, car in the shop and too much out of town family staying with me, mucking up my comfort zones and quiet times. I realize thatRight now I am missing my comfort zone because it allows me to charge my batteries. But getting out of my comfort zone means trying something that I am not good at and seeing if I can make a change in my life for the better. Usually when I do take that step I do feel better, but I have to say - I need to be in charge. I don’t like others pushing me out of my comfort zone. If they try, I rebel. It has to be on my terms. So I guess I do see the value in getting out of my comfort zone, but it has to be controlled. Right now though I would love a day of peace and quiet and no major issues to deal with! Xo Lexi

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:07am

Lexi, thanks for your reply. I am fascinated how we all interpret comfort zone in our own way. I think having control over what happens out side the comfort zone is very important for some peop.e. Lexi thanks for your kind words, I find your comments interesting. I hope you get your day of peace.

Hopeful One Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 8:59am

Hi Leah - a thought provoking blog as the questions you ask always get one thinking. It was some wag who said' Nothing grows in the comfort zone'. I believe this is largely true. I believe after one has reached one's ' comfort zone' one needs to try and expand its boundaries and make it even more comfortable. There will be pain no doubt but as another saying goes' No pain ,no gain'So how did I expand my comfort zone? By never saying 'No' to something new. Try it ,suck it and see. If it does not work one can always withdraw to the original boundary. By adopting this approach I achieved a level 4 in counselling skills which got me a placement at the local drug and alcohol addiction service, my wife's Alzheimers got me to train myself to sing which lead to me learning to play the guitar. I decided( after enormous heart searching detailed previously ) to go to a dating site and start life all over again ( making it clear to anyone who wanted to start with me that I would never abandon my wife) . There were some false starts but then I met an amazing lady and we fell in love with 'just one kiss'. So got there life is waiting for you.


And of course have a laugh.

A 86 year old retired man attends his yearly health check-up. All tests came back looking good, and the doctor sits down to discuss the results with him.

“Well, Eric everything looks good. How are you doing otherwise ? "

Eric says , “God and I are on great terms and and my faith is rewarded ' When I get up in the night to pee as soon as I open the door, then ‘poof’ – the light turns on! And when I’m done peeing, then ‘poof’ – the light turns off again!”

“Fantastic! That sounds marvelous,” says the doctor.

A couple of days later the doctor calls Eric’s wife:

“Good day, Anna. Eric’s tests are looking good, and he seems to be doing well. The reason for my call is his relation to God. Is it really true that whenever he goes to empty his bladder at night, then ‘poof’ – the bathroom light turns on? And when he’s done, then ‘poof’ – the light turns off again?”

Eric’s wife sighs:

“That old fool. He has started peeing in the fridge again…”

Lacey Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:06am

Oh Lordy,just sent you a bit of a chat and computer says NO !! ;-(

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:10am

Hopeful One, Thanks for your detailed comments and advice. No pain no gain maybe true but what about people who feel they have gone through the pain and want to enjoy the comfort now. Have not they deserved it. I think horses for courses. if you feel challenging yourself has worked for you that's great but I know people who worked so very hard to get to a place of comfort and they will not leave it. I like your joke.

The Gardener Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:59am

Oh HO - the joke would have been funny last week - but Mr G has now added incontinence to our other woes - so, having not slept for nights I need cheering - shall watch Sister Act for the 'nth' time - that Nun with the deep voice gets me every time

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 5:10pm

Good joke HO ! Gave me a smile ! Gardener, what a great film (we can agree on this film!) I went to an amateur production of it at the local theatre and it was totally amazing (sometimes they are better than the professionals) I was actually overcome with emotion and cried, it was performed that well, I will never forget it xx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:16pm

TG Sorry about lack of sleep but loved Sister Act and Sister act2 .Thanks for reminding me about the deep voice.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:17pm

Molly, That sounds like a great performance. I have only seen the movies.

David Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:32am

When well I push all the boundaries and I have set the bar very high in my list of future achievements.

When very well I breach all comfort zones to test my self in war and peace zones with high Morals and Ethics I hope.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:42am

David, thanks for your reply. I am glad you can push the boundaries and test yourself in dangerous place. Take care.

The Gardener Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:11am

High Leah - at my great age phrases like 'Comfort Zone' and 'finding yourself' seem like a foreign language. But a really sad story illustrates CZ. My b-in-law married young a very pretty girl - he was a lowly lecturer at Belfast University - she was happy in her role as mother and housewife, and coped extremely well in getting all of the backwards and forwards across the inhospitable Irish Sea in what, I think, were pretty awful boats 55 years ago. He went on to 'glory' and was invited as visiting professor for 6 months at a time in many countries. She hated travelling, but went along. It wrecked her and the marriage. In these more understanding days, if he had been more tolerant and she had backing, even psychiatry to help allay her fears things might have been different. I don't think I've ever needed a 'comfort zone', usually having been so involved I collapse on the nearest chair, preferably in the sun (and by the sea, a serious 'comfort zone, if it counts'. I have three days of hell, Mr G being described as tyrannical, infernal, selfish, a bully and manipulative. My comfort? Two gardens and a terrace full of glorious flowers - each one seems to say 'thanks for looking after us, we love you' especially the morning glories, which also greet the nurses every morning. Then church - only one organist, he had a day off - we all found we could sing! A bit of sun through the stained glass. The flowers I arranged on Friday looked good - smiles, hugs, hand-shakes, people making a special effort to come and see Mr G during the 'Peace'. The 'comfort zone' I seek is peace and acceptance in my mind, which is tending towards bitterness.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:19pm

TG, Thanks for your fascinating stories. I like the image of a CZ full of 2 gardens and terrace full of glorious flowers. Peace and acceptance would be a great CZ.

Ach UK Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:42am

Oh Gardener, please accept a hug, such a tough part of life you are dealing with at present. I once wrote a poem called Bittersweet.
I wish for warm sunshine this afternoon, and that you may have a time of peace to enjoy your garden whilst Mr G. may doze quietly.
Not surprised there is some bitterness in your mind for your path is indeed hard. XX

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:21pm

Ach Uk, what a lovely comment to TG. Wouldyu ever share your poem Bitersweet? Peace and sunshine a lovely thing to wish for yourself and others.

Ach UK Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 7:54am

Good morning Leah, I'm sorry I'm a bit late replying but sometimes I find it's advisable for me to wait a while and sleep on my thoughts and then reply. Not go off"half-cock" as it were. Yes I hope one day I can share some of my poems I think I am going to try and collect them up into groups and maybe put a few out in little books but it's going to take awhile to do. I have been following the comments to your blog which has produced lots of responses. I find it helpful to read people's different ideas. Although I have not been with moodscope very long I do feel comfortable in this community. Thank you community.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 8:46am

Ach UK, you like all of us are welcome here.It is a safe place. That is great you have a plan for your poems. I am glad you like reading blogs and feel comfortable to comment. Thanks again for your contributions.

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 12:31pm

I'd love to hear some of your poems personally; I enjoy reading other people's poetry styles.

The Gardener Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:56am

Ach, thanks. In garrulous mood. Another 'modern' saying 'feel good factor' (John Major?). On my terrace, sun, surrounded by flowers, Kir in hand and reading 'Wilt'. Mr G goes against the trend - most people of his age doze most of the time, he does not, and seems extremely resistant to any calming medicines prescribed. If I try and give him a prescribed sleeping pill, he either says I'm trying to kill him or sleeps so soundly I have even more wet beds. Dreading winter, but I will NOT buy a tumble drier, I will stock up on cheap supermarket sheets and put the washing in the loft to dry. I have a list of the belongings of a local priest in 1850 - he had 80 sheets! They were of Breton linen, never dry - so you had enough to last the winter and washed as soon as sun and wind arrived.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:26pm

TG arr you against Tumble dryers for environmental reasons ot for financial reasons or both? Just curious? Do you have an outside clothes line? You are a determined woman.

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 10:42am

I wouldn't want to interrupt but tumble driers ruin good sheets and their perfect hospital corners.

Jane SG Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 12:26pm

Hi Leah, great blog. I've taken the leap to leave my comfort zone and got a new job after eight and a half years in the same place. I officially leave in 8 weeks. Was a difficult decision but the right one xxx

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 5:20pm

Hi Jane, isn't it always scary when you go for a new job after so long? I was in a job for 13 years, took the plunge to apply for another, worst mistake initially as I only stayed in the next one for 4 months and then wondered what I had done! I then went on to get a fantastic job that I would never have experienced had I of stayed in my comfort zone. There is a whole world out there and I am so glad I made the 'leap' ...new experiences, new friends etc. I then stayed in that job for another 13 years! I got made redundant but still feel it had 'run its course' I think we know when the time is right to move on and I wish you loads of luck in your new job xx

Dragonfly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 6:47pm

Hi Jane S, I hope the new job works out well for you. I've just ditched a job I've been unhappy and stuck in for far too long. There was a slight push as changes were afoot, but I had been thinking about leaving for a while so perhaps it's the push I needed. New beginnings and change are always scary, but as Molly says, that makes way for lovely new people and experiences to come along x

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:28pm

Jane, Congratulations. I hope the move goes well in your new job. You must be proud of yourself.Thanks for letting us know. Xx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:29pm

Molly, Thanks for your comment. Was it hard making the decision to move jobs each time? I am glad you gained from each new experience.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:30pm

Dragonfly, Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope something new and better comes along son. X

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:01pm

Leah, I think I just knew when the time was right to move on, but it was quite nerve racking at the time. I remember being totally depressed after leaving what was my first proper job and it was kind of a grieving process but so much had changed within the organisation and my job did not satisfy me anymore. Next job was for a mad professor who tried to control me. The advice from every angle was to 'get out'. Thinking there would be many temporary jobs available and not wanting to suffer him anymore, I walked out. There were not many jobs around so panic set in (many say, do not leave a job before you have another!!). I did a couple of temporary jobs eventually before landing a job I would never have even dreamt of. So I guess I was out of my comfort zone for a while - then got back into another comfort zone for 13 years and then found myself thrown to the lions again. Jul mentioned age and yes the older I get the more I want to crawl into a hole, whilst I recover/cope from/with illness, look after my husband, and prepare to 'get back out there' as retirement is some way off. I never knew it at the time, but job transition 20 years ago, was much easier xx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:16pm

Molly, this reply would make a great foundation for a blog. As you point out CZ change through out our lives as our circumstances change. I suppose we make decisions at a time that we think are the rights only to later find out they are nit the best ones. Think about the blog idea. Xx

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:54pm

Thanks Leah, I will think about that as a blog, I have already thought of things to add ! I do like it when I get a bit of encouragement, thank you xx

Jane SG Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 12:54am

Thank you Molly, Dragonfly and Leah for your kind words and encouragement xxx

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 1:20am

You are welcome Jane xx Also want to wish Dragonfly good luck - dare I say things happen for a reason sometimes and Dragonfly I can relate to 'changes' and 'moving on' I hope better things come your way xx

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 12:49pm

You have my encouragement at the least. :)

Jane SG Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 5:25am

Thank you S :)

the room above the garage Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 12:41pm

Hello Leah, great blog! I finally found my comfort zone and I am more than attached to it, it is, rightly or wrongly, a life source for me! But when I feel really well I do break out in ways that strengthen me so I hope I'm not too hidden away. I'm in need of a break out so thank you for this perfect reminder! Love ratg x.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:31pm

Ratg, Thanks for your reply. I am glad you have found your comfort zone. Let us know about a break out when you manage one. Xx

The Gardener Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 1:58pm

Leah, more 'modern' sayings. 'You've never had it so good'. (Macmillan I think). I went with Obama 'Yes we can'. Forget what it meant,now, perhaps Lexi can elucidate.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:32pm

TG, You have a real memory for quotes.

Lexi Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 6:48am

Ah, TG, how I miss the Obamas. Yes We Can referred to the idea that if we got involved we could make a difference. We had two terms of a tolerant, compassionate, reasonable, intelligent president. Now we have the opposite. It is up to us to be the change. I am in disbelief on a daily basis of what the current person in office says and does. So it is up to us to get involved and fight for what we believe in. The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing - Edmond Burke.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 8:52am

Lexi, I like the idea that 'we have to be the change' . Yes I try to live by that Edmond Burke quotation. Thanks lexi,your comments are appreciated.

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 7:19am

"You've never had it so good" - was that really a presidential quote? Sounds a bit salsa roja for the white house. :D

Leah Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 9:03am

Thanks S your comment makes me smile.

Robyn Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 3:17pm

Dear Leah,
I really so enjoyed your blog. I have reading the moodscope blog since February, and have found reading the daily blogs from members, uplifting and inspiring. It has become so important to me.
In each blog I can find something that I really relate to.
After suffering a horrendous bout of anxiety and depression at the beginning of the, it was a joy to find folk out there suffering as i do.
I was a ward sister who had to take early retirement because of a vicious disease that took my mobility and the quality of my life has suffered so much.
My condition is called psoriatic arithritis which is an auto immune disease. At the moment I have to take morphine for the pain, and try hard not to itch the scales which cover my body( sounds beautiful!).

My world is very small, and so my comfort zones are vital because they help to make me feel safe.
The place I feel the safest is my bedroom,listening to the radio,reading. With my two very precious cats.
I have wanted so much to make comments on the blog, but did not feel my story interesting enough.
But, guess what I stepped out of my comfort zone and wrote one!!!!!

Thank you to everyone who makes this blog so wonderfully uplifting. I certainly feel less lonely.
I shall be back!!

Dragonfly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 6:43pm

Hello Robyn and well done for joining us! I hope it wasn't too scary stepping out of your comfort zone and it's so lovely to know that Moodscope helps you to feel less lonely.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:35pm

Robyn Thanks so much for taking the plunge to write a comment. Everyone has an interesting story but just need the confidence or re willing to have a go. You have an amazing story , which I think would make a great blog if you ever wanted to share it. I fel humbled that Yu chose my blog to comment on. Thanks so much I really appreciate that and thanks for reading.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:36pm

Dragonfly, Thanks for your kind words to Roby that is what makes Moodscope a great place.

Mary Wednesday Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 3:57pm

Robyn, you are inspiring. Please do write a blog. And yes, cats are such a comfort.

Robyn Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 6:46pm

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to respond or took the time to read my response. I was so chuffed! Moodscope feels like an open fire ,with an enormous blanket wrapped around me. Please don't think I live in fantasy world, but there are many Days when all I want to do is get through the next few hours. I adored my work as a nurse,and when I had to stop it felt like bereavement that I have never really got over. It was never part of my plans to take ill health retirement at just 44. Work is so much more than just a job. Finding moodscope has lifted my spirits so much. I love that it's non- judgemental, a really safe space, where I feel I have the space to tell my story. I so love feeling part of a special tribe.

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 7:20pm

Hi Robyn, I agree, it really does feel like a bereavement when you stop working. It is definitely more than just a job, yes. My whole personality has changed since I stopped working. I do not feel useful anymore or needed and have spent hours wondering what the purpose of life is. I am lucky enough (I hope) to work again in the future, but it has been two years now and the adjustment has been huge. My husband had to give up work through physical reasons and he does not know what to do with himself. We never know what life is going to throw at us do we, but I am pleased you have found comfort on here (love your description of it, an open fire with an enormous blanket). I spend alot of time on here (too much maybe) but if it helps and compensates in some way - then hey, why not ! It is not up to me to say 'welcome' but welcome anyway! This really is a very supportive site. You are already feeling the sense of belonging and that is great. So glad it has helped you. Molly xx

Jane SG Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 8:00pm

I also love your description of 'an enormous blanket' Robyn. Sending you a hug xxx

Robyn Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 10:36pm

Molly&Jane SG Thank you both so much for your wonderfully supportive replies, what I love so much about this site is how genuinely welcoming it is. I read the daily blog in my darkest days and nights, and for the first time in years I dont feel so alone. I too read and re-read the daily blogs, because each time I find something else to think about. I spend many hours alone,my partner works 12 hour shifts including night duty, I can get out sometimes depending on my mobility. I know people tell me I must go out, but I have lost so much confidence,and now feel very vulnerable when I do try to break out of my comfort zone . What is the point in making myself anxious and panicky because someone who has no idea just how difficult it is for me tells me I must. I look back to my days as bossy ward sister!!, in charge of all I surveyed,totally committed to the highest standards of nursing care, and feel why did this happen?. Not in a why me sort of way, but just why??. I try every day to repeat my positive mantras,about wishing myself a good day, feeling grateful for all good things I do have. But believing in what I say is an ongoing challenge. Mornings are the very worst time of day for me, and I would love to write a daily blog about how other people manage that time of day, what are other moodscopers most difficult parts of the day?. Feeling so happy I plucked up the courage to join you all. Wishing you both a peaceful night. X

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 10:46pm

Robyn, Thanks for thoughtful comments. I can see how you are going confidence with each comment. You have so many fascinating thoughts and interesting experiences to share. You write so well and have a special skill. You words will he helping others like you. I am glad you don't feel so alone.Thanks again and I hope to read. Ore of your words

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 10:49pm

Molly, You convert so well the importance of work in our lives and what the loss of it can mean. Being mon moodscope helps me and I stop justifying it to my self and may partner why it helps me. Thanks for your kind words to Robyn.

Jane SG Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 11:19pm

Hi Robyn, can you write a blog about your mornings? I would like to read it. Xxx

Leah Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 2:31am

Jane SG that is a great idea.

Molly Fri, Aug 25th 2017 @ 1:16am

I have only just seen this for some reason. Thanks Robyn. Mornings are definitely the worst time of day for me. Please do write a blog on the subject or I might beat you to it! I get all of these ideas when I read people's comments. Often I am seen as lazy if I do not get up early. But I honestly feel physically ill, if I get up early. It is also the worst time of day for my depression, sometimes making me want to leap out of bed and sometimes wanting me to stay in bed for a week. I also relate to your issue of going out. Hope to hear more from you Robyn xx

Robyn Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 6:31pm

Hello Molly, I'am so so sorry for my late reply! To be honest, I only just found it!. My eyes lit up when I read your comments. I have been ill health retired for about 10 years. Having been I ward sister and senior nurse in a variety of acute areas. I developed an autoimmune disease called psoriatic arithritis, my mobility is seriously affected, and the skin condition, is truly horrible I'am so self conscious. Over the years I have tried many new and exciting immune suppression therapy, sometimes it works, and like know I have gettting worse and worse, which in part led me to developing severe depression on and off, these days more on than off. I find mornings simplying horrendous, I know the joint stiffness and pain is going to make essential stuff as going to the bathroom and feeding the cats a true nightmare, and a grim way to start any day, but this is what I endure day after day, month after month, remaining in pain an immobile all day. So, I think are you going to get up shower dress etc,which seems to take forever, or can I lie here in bed warm comfortable,and better controlled pain wise?, I would love to know what others would do? Then of course where do I go? X

Molly Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 7:06pm

Robyn, your illness sounds awful to deal with. I have eczema so I can relate to the skin part of it. It is under control for me at the moment apart from two stubborn bits that I can't do anything about, one on the side of my face (which I have even had biopsies for but just came back - it is eczema) and my arm (which I have a bandage on right now) I have also stubbed my toe and have a bandage on that which is irrelevant! I cannot really imagine being in constant pain like you are. I definitely feel that getting up and on with things, however difficult, is the best option. I would love to stay in bed some days, but this would only feed my depression further. You must find all of this very frustrating. I guess we take our bodies for granted until they pack up. My husband has lost use of his legs and he is so fed up, between us we are not getting on at all. I cannot think of anything comforting to say to you, but I hope you get come comfort from chatting on here. Much love to you xx

Robyn Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 8:23pm

Hi Molly, Thank you for your lovely thoughtful reply, that's what like so much about Moodscope, you're not looking for answers, but sharing deeply personal issues,with people like me may have very little scope to do just that. It's about being heard. It amazes me how much total strangers have in common.

Leah Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 11:25pm

Robyn, I agree Moodscope is a place where people are honest and caring and can connect with others by their experiences. You have had many fascinating experiences. I am sorry you are in so much pain. It must make life so difficult for you. I am so glad you decided to write here and seem to be gaining confidence with each comment. I look forward to reading more of your comments and maybe a blog one day. Sending kind thoughts , Leah xx

Molly Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 12:22am

I agree Robyn, there are not always answers (apart from the logical ones, that we already know) so just an ear and someone in a similar situation is great. Just that feeling of not being alone in our struggles (as sometimes it feels that everyone else around us are fine and getting on with things) Molly xx

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 5:41pm

Hi Leah, I also enjoyed your blog - and like others have said, your blogs are always food for thought, you have got everyone thinking again! You have also encouraged Robyn to respond (Robyn do not ever feel you are not interesting!) xx

I guess I am quite a lover of my comfort zone as I am a bit of a 'home body', I have never been that adventurous, but I do like change as well (however small) as it can give me a lift. But I will keep it small, such as moving the furniture around and I will forget the bungee jump for now :-) Thanks for the blog Leah xx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:38pm

Molly, Thanks for your kind words to me and Robyn. That is a good point, changes do not have to be big, small ones are important to and they give you a sense of achievement. Thanks again, xx

Benjamin Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 6:07pm

The key is not to leave your comfort zone, but to expand it. Sometimes, to expand it in a seemingly discontinuous fashion, so the new territory seems unconnected to the existing one... then, you have more living space!

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:39pm

Benjamin, I like that expand the CZ do not leave. Simple and effective. Thanks for sharing that.

Jane SG Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 8:01pm

Great description Benjamin, that's exactly right

Dragonfly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 9:39pm

Hi Leah, this does give much food for thought and many have their reasons for either staying in or pushing the boundaries of their CZs. I need to know I have a safe place, but I do challenge myself because I'm just so tired of being scared of so much. I abseiled (twice!) for charity a few years ago even though I have an awful fear of heights and I completed the flying course (which I blogged about) for a similar reason. There's a whole wonderful world out there and sometimes I feel so fed up of not experiencing things because of my own constraints. Perhaps Benjamin has hit the nail on the head in that we don't actually need to leave our CZs, just try to expand on them. This is such a personal thing though and no one size fits all as we are all unique and must only do what feels right for us x

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:41pm

Dragonfly, What a thoughtful comment. I am so impressed by the abseiling. I agree one size does not fit all that's why I write the blog as we all have ad different experiences and thoughts. Thanks for all your caring comments on my blog today.

David Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 10:43pm

Please explain why commentators hide behind Syndroms, is it for privacy, which I find strange on a confidential Blog, as sometimes you cannot tell what gender the person is?

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:11pm

David I have no idea why people use pseudonyms, that is there choice.Many don't ,but if some uses a person's name and not a made up name, we still don't know if that is their name. Actually it doesn't bother me at all. I do not worry about what name a person chooses or what gender they are. Thats just my opinion and we can agree to disagree. I am not sure how others feel. I do know that some people would never comment or write blogs if they had to use their real names.

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:13pm

Hi David, I must admit that I like to know the gender of the person (not sure why really!) but I could be Malcolm for all you know :-) doesn't really matter, it is just a case of people using nicknames, I don't think anyone is actually hiding, what is the harm in it ? xx

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:18pm

Malcolm, Thanks for your reply. Leonardo.

Leah Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:20pm

David, just having fun. Your question is a good one and maybe someone else can answer it. I suppose we all look at things differently. I do respect your question, if you can forgive my little bit of fun.!!

Molly Sun, Aug 20th 2017 @ 11:44pm

Oh my gosh, Leah, this was so very funny, my tummy is hurting. Definitely not directed at David - just so very funny !! Will be laughing for about an hour now :-)

David Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 12:08am

I find that strange that you find that so funny because I asked a serious question.Perhaps I have not been commentating long enough to understand your black humor.

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 12:49am

David, I replied to your serious question and then Leah made a joke, that was all. I agree it is a strange humour but certainly was not at your expense.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 2:38am

David, I did apologise . It was a bit of light hearted fun. I am sorry if you took offence.

Mary Wednesday Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 4:00pm

Hello David. A late reply. I use Mary Wednesday to distinguish myself from the other Mary who sometimes comments. I also use it to protect the anonymity of my husband and children. Anyone who wishes to contact me directly is very welcome to apply to Caroline for my details.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 10:51pm

Mary W, Thanks for explaining that.

David Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 12:03am

Thank you for your replies Molly and Leah but the whole trouble with Social Media is that people seem to think they can say what they want, hiding behind a false profile and be very cruel and vindictive with no normal rules of etiquette and say things they would never say to persons face. So, therefore, I await a rational reason for this on MOODSCOPE. I could also be a Transgender person how will you ever know?

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 1:05am

Are you saying that you could really be Deidre then and not David? I think the point here is that no one really cares who you are, it is about feelings, emotions, experiences and moods. What would it prove if everyone used their real name? As Leah said earlier, moodscopers are less likely to discuss how they feel if they are putting their real name to it when opening up about how they feel. On this particular site, people are rarely cruel and vindictive. I have had my moments, but personally it is nothing I wouldn't say to someone's face. Some sites are along the lines you suggest but not this one. This is a friendly site which is very well monitored. I don't think anyone is hiding as we get to know them through whatever name they wish to call themselves. I am intrigued as to why it bothers you.

Jane SG Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 1:07am

Dear David, I believe most Moodscopers prefer a pseudonym as it gives them a feeling of safety. Although Moodscopers may disagree with me? It doesn't bother me personally but it's a personal thing. On the whole comments on this site are supportive and kind. Unfortunately, as in most social media sites, the odd 'narky comment' slips through. I must assure you though that both Leah and Molly are extremely supportive and kind. Their joke was simply of little harmless humour, something which I think is good for us and certainly not at your expense. Your question was still taken seriously, Best Wishes Jane SG

Jane SG Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 1:08am

Hi Molly! We posted at the same time! Hope you are ok xxx

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 1:35am

Hi Jane, thank you for the backing and for the kind words xx there is no way I would want David or anyone for that matter to feel bad - just a silly joke which lightens things up xx

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 2:36am

David, Molly and I have never been vindictive or cruel and we use names. I have been on Moodscope for years and really in that time I have never seen anyone be cruel. I am sorry you misinterpreted my attempt at humour. Your question has been answered, it is supposed to be anonymous and confidential here .It is about choice and what moodscopers feel comfortable with. It would make no difference to me if you were transgender, I would you treat you kindly with respect. Thanks for your comments, I appreciate them.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 2:37am

Jane SG, Thanks for your kind comments.

Anonymous Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 2:27am

Thank you Jane - keeping with anonymity. You replied to my first tentative comments here, and remind me of someone I once knew who had every reason to loathe my soul, but was always kind, and respectful when I was to her, and that meant a lot to me. When I first saw this place looking for help in desperation I was horrified, but after my faux pas, you really helped me understand that this is not a place of cold malice, but understanding. Thank you, even if you are not the person you put me in mind of that I may or may not have once known through someone else.

Jane SG Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 5:28am

Thank you so much for this. I've been taking a break from Moodscope after a few things started to put me off, probably not helped by my own battle with paranoia. Your kind feedback has lifted me x

Leah Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 5:59am

Jane, Look after yourself. You are a welcome part of moodscope and always so kind and considerate with your comments.

David Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 5:55am

Hello, once again I have been clumsy in expressing myself there was no intention of liking Moodscope to Social Media I was just expressing an opinion of it. You seem to have developed your own community on here so once again good luck to y
ou all.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 6:09am

David, not clumsy at all. You are part of the community by reading and responding. Just relax and join in. Some of your comments have been very helpful, educational and even moving. I am glad you feel free to ask questions and be yourself. Look after yourself.

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 2:55pm

David, I sometimes don't feel I am part of the community on here, as a lot of moodscopers have been on here years and have got to know eachother but it's a real mixture of 'new' and 'old' and people just join in and are always welcomed and I think you have been welcomed. Have you considered writing a blog? I think that is a good way of feeling more a part of it, you kind of own the page for a day as people respond to you and it's a good feeling. Regardless of whether you do or not, I hope you continue to comment.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 6:36am

I want to thank everyone who read my blog, thought about it, wrote a comment, are still thinking about replying. Always plenty of time to comment never too late.
I really learn from comments and am always surprised how people are prompted by my blog to write such honest comments.
Moodscope is my comfort zone but is has also helped me push the boundaries and take a risk to share my writing. It is a safe place to write and think. Thanks everyone.xx

Tess Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 7:15am

Hi Leah. I found your comfort zone blog interesting.
I think it all depends on an individuals personality. I live by myself & over the years have had various "post traumatic" type bouts of depression. About 10 years ago I had a type of breakdown & from memory I shut down from the world for about three months. Fortunately at the time I had a husband who had my back, but had no idea how to help me during this sad time.
Since then we divorced and I knew Id have to make boundaries for myself and find my "comfort zone" where I felt safe for a while.
Recently I had another relationship split & the grief was almost overwhelming. However Ive learnt over the years to put strategies in place, so I know what to do to make myself heal better and not to stay wedged in that dark hole anymore, as I have no one to pull me up out of it now.

When I felt able to face the world again this time I wrote a list of all the things Id like to do or try..Visiting new places "gets me out of my oen head" & I enjoy being around happy positive people.
So three months ago I visited China with a girlfriend (China wasnt on my bucket list!)....Ive also joined a bushwalking club with a bunch of strangers, mostly older than me, but fitter than me too..
My confidence soared when I completed the 10klm walk!

So for me stretching myself out of my comfort zone does wonders for my mental health, but ONLY when Im able to face the world...

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 8:41am

Tess, thanks for your inspirational comment. I am so glad when you were well enough you stretched yourself and travelled to china and went on a long Bushwalk. I wonder what you will try next?

Wyvern Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 10:01am

Late comment!
First, to reply to Leah's blog: Comfort zone, for me means somewhere I find myself in quite rarely and exists when I am either on my own or with a certian few members of my family. It's a refuge for me to repair myself and restore my mental energy so that I can face everyday life, which is most of the time not a comfortable place.

David, to answer your question of why people use pseudonyms: I know that there are people out there that read Moodscope because of my advice. I don't necessarily wish them to know that it's me commenting. It just feels more confidential if I don't use my actual name.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 10:45am

Wyvern, Thanks for explaining what comfort zone means to you. Never late always appreciated,

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 4:28pm

I agree Wyvern, I always said that if I ever wrote a book, I would use a made up name as I would not want to be identified. I am sure many authors do that. It is all about privacy and in my case paranoia ! For me this site is an escape where I can open up in a confidential and safe environment.

Leah Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 10:53pm

Molly some writers have different names depending on what genres they are writing. A name is just something our parents gave us and we can change it as long as we don't try to be fraudulent. Thanks again.

Molly Mon, Aug 21st 2017 @ 11:22pm

Fraud didn't enter my mind but you have me thinking now! I suppose I would tell the publisher "hey this is not really my name, I have ID to prove it". Don't actors and singers have made up names? Paul McCartney's name is not really Paul for example. Oh and Prince Harry was not christened Harry either. I only know because I play silly quiz games :-) xx

Leah Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 2:35am

I suppose you can call yourself what you like but if you are deceiving people with your new name, I think that is a no no. Once upon a time most foreign names were changed into English ones for actors. I read trivia then forget the facts!! So that is good for you remembering facts.

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 12:27pm

I changed my surname once to honor my mother's bloodline rather than my father's and it caused quite a stoochie in my father's side of the famiily since I was the only one with th name left. But it was not completely new names baing a no-no, a name you've been called as long as your real name is okay though. LIke Leah, Leia, Liaa, spelling variations, or how my godparents called me Seámus more often than Seán.

Leah Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 12:34pm

S thanks for explaining about your name. My partner wants to change his name back to what his birth mother named him as he is adopted. Names can be powerful things and have a deep meaning.

Anonymous Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 3:19pm

Yeah, people who call me Seamus are a special level of parent, of which I effectivly had like 4. Names can define very much indeed, I hope his original name is lovely as his current one.

Nicco Wed, Aug 23rd 2017 @ 8:33pm

Thanks for your interesting blog, Leah. I hate having to stay in my comfort zone for several days at a time when the M.E. & fibromyalgia hits hard - it's usually a time when my depression is at its worst. Then, when my energy levels return and I find some joy in life again, I wonder what on earth it was all about. I also do have fears of doing certain things... (don't laugh!).. I won't go into why, but I find going into butchers shops and going to petrol stations to fill up with fuel both take me out of my comfort zone. I don't have to go into butchers shops usually but I do need to fill up with fuel quite often so I get over this by asking someone to come with me - it takes me out of my comfort zone but also means I have the added 'safety net' of having someone with me at the time which I find a good compromise at the moment & I class it as progress as I couldn't even do that a while ago. I'm hoping I will one day be able to 'brave' the petrol station on my own again & am working towards that goal. I once had to stand up & give a talk to 500 members of medical staff at the Royal College of Nursing, which definitely took me out of my comfort zone, but the sense of achievement afterwards was wonderful. Maybe 'no pain, no gain' springs to my mind!

Leah Thu, Aug 24th 2017 @ 1:40pm

Nicco, Thanks for your reply. I know you haven't been well so I appreciate the time you took to reply. That is a wonderful achievement talking to 500 people , you must be proud. I am glad you have a plan and goals. Take care ,

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 11:01am

To me comfort zone means somewhere where I can openly express my thoughts and emotions I've been processing especially regarding BPD behaviours, without judgement, humiliation or snarkiness, or redaction, and maybe a touch of understaning not of excuses, but of reasons why such behaviourrs exhibited themselves. I literally have one friend who is a good influence at the moment, the rest are from my "dance with the devil" and my family have been showing little to no zupport. Their version of support when I'm struggling is anger, rage and indignance and punishment, not assistance. I have literally no one to open up with about what I'm processing right now. That is a safe space to me.

Preferably one where people didn't prejudge me, but I thought that was just paranoia, though it seems I was fairly accurate in my predictions on what pseudonyms were who/ So now I am scared to share my "story" of self-aware BpD, because literally, If I were you all, I would have not an ounce for sympathy for me, or anything that happened in my life. Opening up for a humiliation like that is not on my "Surviving today" list.

Leah Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 12:31pm

S I am sorry you feel you can't open up here as I like to think it is a safe place. It is your decision of course and if you feel you will be humiliated then if course opening up would not suit you. I for one would be interested in finding out more about BPD but not if you feel uncomfortable. I appreciate your contributions. Thank you.

Anonymous Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 1:37pm

i just worry it won't be taken seriously. You are saying it's a safe space, but I am not blind, and i wish someone would just say yes, go for it, open minds, or piss off. Sorry for the rashness but I'm quite frustrated with indecision or vagueness.

Molly Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 5:05pm

S, sometimes I feel paranoid when I write comments and blogs but remember you are anonymous, nobody knows who you are, that is the beauty of the site really, because you can say anything you want without being identified. I can assure you that nobody on here would judge you because most people have their own mental health issues - or know someone that has. I have received nothing but support from fellow Moodscopers, they are all very lovely. You have actually opened up quite a bit already on your comments and I find what you have to say very interesting. Like you, my family and friends do not understand BPD, and just put my strange behaviour down to depression (which they mainly don't understand either) and if I try and explain BPD it sounds like I am making excuses. Remember you are not alone in how you feel and if we can talk about it, it might bring more people forward to comment. Personally I am really pleased that I have found someone else with the condition. When I first mentioned on here that I had BPD, at least three people asked if I would do a blog on it, so please submit that blog you spoke about, you might be surprised about the support you receive! Molly xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 3:05am

Well mine is almost done, but maybe we could brainstorm the main important points for some sort of crash course on "True/False" which nobody seems to understand but us :D Hah!

Caroline the Moodscope Team Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 1:59pm

Hi S, firstly, please can you be careful with your language in your comments. I'm not really sure why you are saying this space isn't safe to discuss your BPD. You are saying 'but I am not blind' so you've obviously seen something that you haven't liked - am I correct? There's no indecision or vagueness on our part, it really is your decision, knowing what you have read here, whether you would like to share anything else about BPD. Kind regards. Caroline

Molly Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 1:00am

I feel that paranoia is a big part of BPD, so I think that S was just saying that he didn't feel comfortable expressing himself for his own reasons - nothing to do with criticising Moodscope. Indecision and vagueness is also part of the illness. Whether it be ourselves that feel it or thinking others are doing it, as we are "straight up" with things and like others to be or we start to get suspicious. I don't think S has offended anyone, even the swearing was just quotes and not directed at anyone. He certainly helped me today and I think he should be encouraged rather than "told off". I say all this with fear that I should not offend you but I hope you see it as a constructive comment and not anything else.

Anonymous Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 3:03am

Well Caroline, firstly, I want to make it clear my profanity was for a good point. With BPD it''s the boogeyman, even psychiatrists judge people with it. Those profane insults I quoted, were things said to me by strangers, lovers, family members and my own psychiatrist at one time or another. It's shocking languagee, but it's shocking that people have such a double standard for a particular condition that's harder to see. It's harder to understand I know, but it's the right thing. People with BPD aree recommended by some CONSULTANTS To be permanently institutionalised until they die. That's it, and tranquilised. It's an illness with a bad reputation and I know that people here have had dealings with it, and maybe even my own particular hurtful brand. Any post here is wrought with fear of whether it's correct or not, or who is who and if I am saying something that is irritating someone else. Truly I need my own help and nobody gave me some. So I had to work it out the hard way on my own, which involves incineration of all you love and cherish first. It's shocking, but I didn't mean to be offensive. I wanted to make the point that the seriousness of BPD is just as serious or even worse than other mental health disorders, it's just less visible because we desperately try to hide it and are told it's wrong and chastised by everyone we meet in our lives. I'll be more careful with profanity in future, though I am walking on eggshells as is. I know the safe space is an ethos, but i also know that real life isn't that pretty. I have no clue who is who, but I am clear who I am, but as long as the person I imagine would have the worst issue by far with my presence agrees with Molly, I'm happy to get stuck in raising visibility and opening minds to this scary spice condition. S

Leah Tue, Aug 29th 2017 @ 3:22am

These notifications means this blog has had a longer life. Thanks everyone for your contributions. When I write a blog I have no idea how the discussion will go so I am always surprised.

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