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Breaking Associations. Monday August 3, 2015

I was editing some video today. Couldn't really get it to do what I wanted it to do when I realised that two tracks were linked together. This association meant that I couldn't edit the tracks individually. It was a simple matter to break the association and then I could achieve the transformations I was seeking.

Walking back from my local shop, it struck me how my own life had been unnecessarily brought love by false-associations. When my business fortunes had shifted dramatically, I had allowed that downturn to remain associated with my self-image. The business had failed, ergo I was a failure.

I hope you're laughing, or at least smiling, at how absurd that link is. I am not my business.

The subject, however, is serious. How many of us have associated our self-worth with our relationship to someone special? If that relationship ceases for any reason, we can allow that loss to impact our self-worth. The loss of a job can have a similar effect... if we let it.

Today, I'm recommending that we break such associations. It's time to separate the tracks in the great Editing Software of Life, and assign new value and meaning to each distinct part of our lives.

I am not defined by the success of my business.
I am not defined by my bank balance.
I am not defined by the success of my relationships.
I am not defined by my employed status.
I am not defined even by my health.

I am something beyond all these links.
And so are you.

You are beautiful because you are simply beautiful.
You are lovely because you are distinctly lovely.
You are worthy because you have worth in my sight, and, I hope, in your own sight too.
I value you.

Lex
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

The Entertrainer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 5:33am

Interesting typo from me!
"Walking back from my local shop, it struck me how my own life had been unnecessarily brought love by false-associations".... false associations can bring me love any day! It should read, "Walking back from my local shop, it struck me how my own life had been unnecessarily brought low by false-associations...!"

Leah Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 6:51am

Lex
I think Freud would have a field day with your slip?typo!!
Lots to ponder in your blog.
You say associations, I say prejudices .
I am aware of mine. Still find it hard to ignore tattoos , but am working on it.
Cheers
Leah

Sarah M Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 7:19am

Hi Lex
Thank you for your biog. I have many film clips running in my head and they def need a good edit. Also big stuff about not being defined by your health. Sometimes hard to see beyond it ( esp when it restricts work and social stuff ) but it is important to remember that we really are still worthy and lovely x Thank you x

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 7:23am

Hi Lex your blog really hit the spot for me - I'm going through process of early retirement due to ill health and I'm finding it hard. I've been working for 35 years and during that time I've been a National Accounts Manager, a Paramedic, a NHS Quality Manager etc. Yes my CV does make interesting reading!! However now I'm just me - a cancer survivor? Really dislike that term as that is not how I want to be defined. So your blog really made me think - I'm Ellie and proud of it!! xox

Hopeful One Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 7:26am

Hi Lex- thought provoking post. There seems to be an underlining assumption that being defined in this way is always negative. In my opinion its not so much the definition or the associations but the internal judgements we make that do the damage.

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 7:27am

Well that felt like a Monday morning wash in the dew. I think I'm shiny bright!! Thank you!

I think I master this on the surface. Deeper and it remains. Thank you for it, now I am encouraged to reload my thinking. Whilst remaining shiny bright! Love ratg x.

Sally Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 7:42am

Lex, that's beautifully put! I think we all need to be reminded of our true worth, as separate from our "acquisitions" or "status "... Very useful to have it put in so helpful a manner, many thanks for sharing these important points.

Sally Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 7:49am

What a beautiful image, ratg, "like a Monday wash in the dew"! I love it!

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:30am

Hey Leah, I've been thinking about that little slip!!! Too close to the truth for comfort...
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:32am

btw, tattoos are an interesting one. My middle son is a big fan. If you like Science Fiction, check out, "The Illustrated Man" by Ry Bradbury.
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:34am

Hi Sarah
I understand.
Tough one to stand in front of the mirror and declare it to one's own face - looking ourselves in the eye and saying...
"I am worthy!"
"I am lovely!"
Dare ya!
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:38am

And I am proud to know you, Ellie!
Great share, thank you!
You can define how you define yourself.
I once had someone pick me up on the way I pronounced something.
Then I thought, "That's how I pronounce it!"
Sometimes we just need to declare things the way we choose them to be.
Have a definitively definite day!!!
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:42am

Hello Hopeful One!
You're such an inspiration.
I agree.
So watch out for the next blog..."Making Associations!"
Ha ha - see what you've begun?
Love ya
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:45am

I'm with Sally! I'm pretty sure Dawn will love your description too!
And, you're right, you're radiant!
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:46am

You're welcome, Sally.
It's my 'truth' to myself at the moment, so glad to hear that others are resonating.
Have a day rich in the associations you choose!
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 11:36am

You've done it again....hit the nail on the head. There are so many things we use to sabotage ourselves. A dazzling smorgasbord. I now consider it my main job in life to escape these self-judgements and live more purely. I believe it is an essential ingredient to better physical health as well. Thank you, Les, for sharing all your great insights and cheering us on. Your blog message also applies if we've managed to inflate our sense of self worth in some way due to association; that is just as damaging longer term. Hug! susan xx

Melanie Lowndes Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 12:00pm

I am confused! I state it now! It was a great blog and I got the typo no problem! Are you "The Entertrainer" Lex? - and please clarify Les and Lex are two different people aren't they? See below.... I would like to be clear on all of this. Love to all! and thank you for the blog!! "I am worthy because I am worthy - I need do nothing to prove my own value!!" And I love "I am lovely because I am distinctly lovely" YES Let's all say it!!

Di Murphey Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 1:03pm

Dearest L'xx ~
Ahhh, my friend! I call this being "one-storied" and find that indeed, we are each many stories. I see this most prevalent in defining/stereotyping cultures (Americans are so _______.) Yet, if we pause a moment, we are many, many stories. As you are. As we all are.

Sending much love for all you are and hope to become,
Di

Bitter Young Queer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 2:21pm

Although I've managed to not care much about my bank account or work being anything more than simply that, there are other things that are very much me. My health struggles get me down a lot, and with that I often feel worthless or burdensome. Part of that is because I cant do as much when I'm sick, even though I know it's not my fault. I'm also leaving my job for health reasons and probably going on disability at this point, so i have a new experience ahead of me in that regard. And just because I think kindly of others I know doesn't mean I will treat myself the same.
The "positive affirmations" if you will are also things i feel like i need reminded of. When i get to feeling down, i also direct a lot of things at myself.

Bitter Young Queer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 2:21pm

Although I've managed to not care much about my bank account or work being anything more than simply that, there are other things that are very much me. My health struggles get me down a lot, and with that I often feel worthless or burdensome. Part of that is because I cant do as much when I'm sick, even though I know it's not my fault. I'm also leaving my job for health reasons and probably going on disability at this point, so i have a new experience ahead of me in that regard. And just because I think kindly of others I know doesn't mean I will treat myself the same.
The "positive affirmations" if you will are also things i feel like i need reminded of. When i get to feeling down, i also direct a lot of things at myself.

Bitter Young Queer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 2:21pm

Although I've managed to not care much about my bank account or work being anything more than simply that, there are other things that are very much me. My health struggles get me down a lot, and with that I often feel worthless or burdensome. Part of that is because I cant do as much when I'm sick, even though I know it's not my fault. I'm also leaving my job for health reasons and probably going on disability at this point, so i have a new experience ahead of me in that regard. And just because I think kindly of others I know doesn't mean I will treat myself the same.
The "positive affirmations" if you will are also things i feel like i need reminded of. When i get to feeling down, i also direct a lot of things at myself.

The Entertrainer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 3:19pm

Hi Melanie
When I'm in the Studio at Hope FM, I cannot remember my login details as "The Entertrainer" - so I comment using the anonymous options but sign off with my signature, "L'xx". The very gifted 'Les' is a very different man!
L'xx

The Entertrainer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 3:23pm

Hi Susan,
'Tis 'Lex' today. I think we do well to challenge all our associations. Association is the very Operating System of the brain, and sometimes it allows rouge code to corrupt our beautiful files and programmes. As you so rightly say, it can swing both ways - even to an inflated sense of self-worth, though I don't think I've ever experienced that one.
Let's make great associations!
L'xx

The Entertrainer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 3:27pm

Thanks Di
I think your blog from yesterday echoes the 'stories' theme too. So many stories, so many associations, so many meanings... to choose from!
Hasn't there been some lovely language today?
Your, "Sending much love for all you are and hope to become" is beautiful. I also fancy having a "wash in the dew" and exploring the "dazzling smorgasbord"!
Good to be part of the community today.
Much love
L'xx

The Entertrainer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 3:30pm

I'm amazed at the power of mere words. When I say the word "Hope" and its friends like "Trust" and "Kindness" and "Friendship" - something shifts inside. I hope you find the resources to trust yourself, to be kind to yourself, and to become your own best friend.
You'll certainly find more acceptance here than you might find in the other communities - in understanding there is a kind of peace that can help.
L'xx

Anonymous Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 4:43pm

Oh Lex, i knew it was you. This seems to be the day for typos. susanxx

The Entertrainer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 6:20pm

Well, "Typos" is an anagram of:
ps. Toy!
xx

DawnC.Ritchie Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:01pm

And I DO love the 'wash in the dew comment, very shiny and bright comment. Thank you for the smile I have on my face after reading it :D xx

DawnC.Ritchie Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:09pm

Lex you're an amazing part of this community and reading people's comments, there's lots of people that think the same.
You're a sparkly firefly with a radiant glow and today, dancing in the dew :D xx

The Entertrainer Mon, Aug 3rd 2015 @ 8:16pm

Now I'm feeling fizzy!
fank you
L'xx

Melanie Lowndes Tue, Aug 4th 2015 @ 1:05pm

Thank you very much sorry to be dim but are Lex and the Entertrainer the same person - ie you?

That would mean there is Les and Lex/Entertrainer which I can easily get my head around?

Thank you!!

The Entertrainer Tue, Aug 4th 2015 @ 4:56pm

Yes, Melanie, Lex is the Entertrainer... a fusion of what I do, mixing 'entertainment' with 'training'... seemed a good word at the time! Les is the genius specialising in Emotional Intelligence and Poetry amongst other insights.
;0)

Mary Blackhurst Hill Tue, Aug 4th 2015 @ 9:33pm


You are beautiful because you are simply beautiful.
You are lovely because you are distinctly lovely.
You are worthy because you have worth in my sight, and, I hope, in your own sight too.

Just so moved by those words Lex. Allow me to mirror them back at you please.
I value you.

The Entertrainer Wed, Aug 5th 2015 @ 6:18am

Consider them mirrored, dear Mary
Consider them mirrored!
L'xx

Melanie Lowndes Wed, Aug 5th 2015 @ 1:44pm

Thank you Lex for looking for this again and responding. You have made me happy and smile - now I know who you both are!
I am sure you and Les are equally genius! :-)

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