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Blogs. Tuesday November 29, 2016

I have noticed in recent weeks, new names on blogs and also in the comments section. This is pleasing as some have said that although you have been members of Moodscope for many years, this is the first time you have commented (or written a blog).

Moodscope is a place where you can be yourself and not be worried someone is going to criticise you.

We should all feel safe expressing our worries, problems, our dilemmas and telling our life histories or events which have distressed in the past or continue to do so now.

Some blogs set out to help in a gentle way and others help by showing us that we suffer the same things and thoughts and that we are probably more normal than we think since so many people suffer from some sort of mental health issue.

Moodscope has helped me over the years more than anything.

I am not a receptive patient and no therapy or doctor has managed to help me in the way I need. I can't be hypnotised or cognitively behaved and get so tired of being asked the same old questions by therapists so I have all but given up on the mental health professionals.

But reading the blogs and comments from such a caring community who has suffered in different ways but who come across with kindness and warmth have made me feel a hundred times better about myself, and some of the remedies offered have also helped.

So keep the blogs and comments coming in. You never know who you are helping. I try to write every now and again but new names are always a pleasure to see. As well as Lex, Mary, Leah, ratg and our other favourites.

We should all be bottled and sold or given away as a therapy which is guaranteed to work!!

A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Tychi's Mum Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 3:09am

Good morning Jul,I think that I may one of the new names that has popped up. I'm fairly new to Moodscope, but I too am finding it incredibly helpful. Thankyou for your blog, it has inspired me to try and write one. How do I go about it?
I have been incredibly impressed with the quality of writing in these blogs and there is great comfort in seeing the regular Moodscopers comments and blogs. As an ex-journalist and with a degree in English Literature I appreciate the use of words and language to express ourselves. I honestly think that the powerful words in Mary's series of five blogs will stay with me forever. Thank you again Mary and I'm looking forward to reading your blog tomorrow.
I find poems and song lyrics incredibly useful for helping me get through the "crashes". I am currently out the other side of a crash and experiencing a period of "high" which is normal for me. I am full of nervous energy and gratitude for feeling "well." I can't sleep (hence the ungodly hour of this reply). This is my 9th night in a row of getting a maximum of 3 hours sleep.
I am trying to push a diagnosis of mild bi-polar from my psychiatrist bit she's not having it. I am 43. She says it's highly uusual to develop bi-polar at this age. But, I have recently come across the idea of menopausal bi-polar which I need to research further. I read somwhere that it takes around 6 years to get a diagnosis of bi-polar. I am four years in to my journey so perhaps only 2 more to go...
Wishing you all a calm and restful day. You never know if the adrenaline subsides I may even achieve that for myself!
Tychi's Mum.

Mary Wednesday Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 8:13am

Would love to see a blog by you, TM. Snap on the English degree! Good luck with the diagnosis. Write to Caroline at in haste, Mary.

Tutti Frutti Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 8:15am

Email your blog (300-500) words to Caroline on and remember to sign off with the name you want it to appear under. I've only blogged once though (challenged on the ideas front) so if any of the regular bloggers say differently do take their advice over mine. On bipolar I think your psychiatrist will probably be basing a diagnosis on other things as well as your sleep. I get the following other symptoms and wonder if you have experienced any of these: talking too much and too fast (trouble stopping even when asked to), irritable, swearing a lot (when I am normally fairly passive), loads of energy (despite poor sleep), bolder dress sense than normal, painting my fingernails alternate pink and purple, general lack of insight (ie have lost the plot). In contrast I sometimes get periods when I don't sleep well (because of stress say) and as long as I am feeling absolutely dreadful on it I am at least convinced that things are still normal. If I have the full list of manic symptoms (which I don't always) I tend to end up in hospital so I am not saying that you need all of them to be bipolar by any means. But if you have some of these other symptoms it's worth telling your psychiatrist and if not sleeping is your only symptom then perhaps you don't have bipolar disorder. I definitely think it's worth pushing on to get the right diagnosis. After all if you are bipolar then mood stabilisers will probably be your best treatment for preventing the lows as well as the highs. Good luck with getting the right diagnosis. Love TF x

Tutti Frutti Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 8:38am

One further suggestion. If you don't think your psychiatrist is coming to the right conclusion about your symptoms and treatment then I think you are entitled to ask for a second opinion. I don't know quite how you go about it or how long it would take on the NHS (assuming you are in the UK) but someone else may be able to help you. Love TF x

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 10:46pm

Thanks for replying TF. Tychi's mum - sounds like you are very well qualified to write a blog. Looking forward to receiving it!

Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 3:16am

Hi MW,TF, and Caroline. Thank you so much for your comments and advice. All of which are greatly received and add to the feeling of being part of a Moodscope community/family...we are all experiencing difficulties of one type or another and struggling with our own very personal journeys. You know what they's good to share and a problem shared is a problem halved. TF I do get other symptoms of bi-polar. I too, talk too much and too fast (and have trouble stopping even when asked to),I have loads of energy and enthusiasm (despite poor sleep), get creative and and usually have several, about six(!)to-do lists on the go. I have a real scattergun approach to getting tasks done(no prioritising) and often only do half a job. I also have a really strong urge to spend money (totally out of character for me) and I can't stop eating, especially sweet stuff; chocolate, cake, biscuits...(again out of character). My sleep pattern usually returns to normal after around two weeks (fingers crossed). I then have a period of 6 to 8 weeks of feeling relatively "normal" (neither high nor low). This is followed by a "crash". Severe depession and barely functioning. This can last anything from 3 to 6 weeks. I'd be really interested to know if the Moodscoper's recognise this as bi-polar??? (perhaps only mild), I have been diagnosed with recurrent depressive disorder and am on a mood stabiliser(Lamotrigine) and a low dose of Fluoxetine. Again, any knowledge of/or experience of these medications would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance, Tychi's Mum.

Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 3:34am

With regard to a second opinion TF, I am seriously considering it but I'm nervous. I've been advised that psychiatrists who work privately will often go along with the patients diagnosis of themselves and offer medication accordingly. What I really want is a definitive diagnosis FROM my psychiatrist who I do actually trust and have great faith in. I think I already said that I've been reading about an approach to bi-polar that suggests there is a bi-polar spectrum similar to autism for example. I believe that I sit on the lower end of the spectrum. The article i read suggested; "The question is not AM I bi-polar but HOW bi-polar am I??? My thoughts exactly... Tychi's Mum

Jul Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 8:08am

Hello Tychi's Mum. You sound well qualified in every way to write a blog and your experience as late bi polar sufferer would interest so many of us. Only you know how you feel and that is wha's so interesting. Thank you for the encouragement and so glad you are part of our special community! Jul xx

LP Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 9:01am

Hi Jul,
I love to see new names too and agree wholeheartedly about the enormously helpful and safe, gentle and caring community that Moodscope is.
Well wishes to all. LPxx

Jul Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 9:18am

Yes LP. Here's to us. I am sorry you are having problems at work. You come across as so lovely, it's just not right others should take advantage of your kindness and willingness to help. If that's what is happening. Love Jul xx

LP Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 8:22pm

Thanks Jul. I'm not sure, Yes I am a kind and helpful person, nice to everyone. Am only just managing to keep on top of things so only take on what feels managable. This person has just volunteered me for something that I dont have the time for, not sure about the intent behind it. She maynot have given it much thought, but I suspect it was more dumped on me. Been worrying and obsessing about it non stop. Have emailed to say what Ive managed so far, but cant do the rest, so have delegated it back to her! She will be annoyed, but so be it. Thanks for the support Jul. LPxx

Leah Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 9:29am

What a wonderfully honest and uplifting blog. Well done.
My favourite words are " I can't be hypnotised or cognitively behaved".4I love the way you turned a cognitve behaviour therapy from a noun into a verb!! Just love it!!

You have summed up many of our feelings about moodscope.

Your blogs are always fascinating and your comments show that you have truly read the blog and show compassion for the writer.
Take care

Jul Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 9:33am

Thanks Leah. I don't know how to respond to this. Your comments are so kind and I don't see my blogs this way. I am at a loss for words Lol!! I do sometimes think that therapists want to turn us into their idea of how we should behave. But this lady isn't for turnin! And many other Moodscopers too I suspect. Love Jul xx

Tutti Frutti Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 12:24pm

Hi Jul and Leah Just to second what Leah has said. I think it was one of your blogs Jul where you enquired after everyone who had been under the radar for a while that first made me realise what a community there was on here and turned me into a regular. I would have seen the blogs anyway but I definitely find reading the comments helpful both because I have picked up some interesting suggestions (and some giggles courtesy of HO) and for the sense of understanding and support on here. Believe in yourself and your blogs. Love TF x

Jul Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 1:15pm

Hi Tutti Frutti. Thank you. I am not sure we'll be hearing from Hopeful today. I hope he's doing soemthing nice in the real world. However I find our exchanges actually very real even though we are communicating on the internet. You are always so helpful Tutti and I appreciate this so much. I am sure your commenst above on bi polar will be of interest to many, me included. I found the fact that when you sleep badly through stress, this is good as it means you are not manic, a fascinating observation. I think this would make a great blog actually. Love Jul xx

Tutti Frutti Wed, Nov 30th 2016 @ 9:22am

Hi Jul Oops I didn't express myself clearly enough. Sleeping badly through stress is never good and I have to keep an eye on it in case it sets manic symptoms off. One of the first things I check though is how I am feeling without having slept properly. Normally I feel like death warmed up if Ive only had 3 hours sleep and can't function very well. The upside for me of feeling awful after not sleeping is that at least I know that I am not going manic. In contrast, sometimes I manage to just push on through on not much sleep, get loads done ( presumably on adrenaline and coffee or something) and find myself feeling quite Ok and buzzy. This is the sort of time that I know I am in danger of going manic which is much more scary. I can also say some things I later regret when in this state. Hope that's a bit clearer. Love TF x

The Gardener Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 1:53pm

Hi Jul - echo your words on Moodscope - echos an ad which I've forgotten - reaches farther than ??? Guiness? (that was GOOD for you, so is Moodscope). I find the study of how people react fascinating - I try and keep to the point - but a terrible day (and at what time I answer Moodscope) will make me descend into moans. Always try not to 'blether' or, on the other hand, not compose a lecture. I think it was at meetings at national level (only woman) that I began to 'dissect' people's behaviour. At conferences I was regarded as a bit of a 'star'. I looked back at that in surprise, and think I have found the answer. At Question Time, unless there was a 'cut off' system or a really strong Chairman people would make speeches of their own, or have a good rant, seldom with any reference to the speaker. Many would only make remarks in the corridors afterwards, although, on expenses, they represented quite a lot of people or a large area, particularly varied interests. If something struck me in a paper I would immediately note the salient points, and formulate my question, never more than three lines - the 'star' quality came from keeping it short! I was at a major Communist conference in Rome. Asked my opinion, I rudely said that if the Italians worked as hard as the talked it would be a great country - so they packed me off on a study tour to the Po valley in winter, equivalent of being sent to Siberia. What I really want to say is that Moodscope blogs must have form, a certain length - but if hopeful bloggers are trying to write 'competitively' or like an exam essay - forget it - get the words down on the screen.

Jul Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 2:40pm

Good advice as always Gardener. A Communist conference in Italy eh?! You do manage to surprise us with your past work stories and everything else. Where would Moodscope be without you Gardener? Was it Carling Black label? You haven't mentioned Mr G today. Is that a bad or a good sign? Jul xxx

the room above the garage Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 2:16pm

Hello Jul! Really enjoyed this blog, thank you. I wish you'd write more, your writing is calming. I find it so interesting that we're often all thinking along the same lines...I've just recently written a blog about blogs!! :-) I agree that Moodscope has been a game-changer in my battle with depression. And you my silent friends. Love to all, ratg x.

Jul Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 2:42pm

Thank you ratg. Great minds think alike. Good to hear from you and I look forward to reading your blog about blogs. Keep going. Love Julxxx

The Gardener Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 4:20pm

Thanks Jul - Mr G at respite - so can achieve things - at a run all the time - party escalated. I think it was Carlings. Italy was not my politics - got involved a lot because I spoke very good Italian - not taught in English schools of course. Took three youngest to Sicily one summer, to 'The town which God forgot'. They had a great time, I was mostly concerned with getting water, came 2 hours ever other day. Second son came with me to attend our foreman's wedding. We got bad 'vibes' in one town, found there was at least a murder a week, and that we were living in the middle of a major Mafia barony. Our 'exile' was centred on Bologna - an incredible city. My Italian experiences would fill a book - lots of fun and loads of scares, plus a love/hate relationship with Italy - as happened later in India - because you can't believe a word any of them say - they seem to have attended the same school for scams as well!

Mary Wednesday Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 10:12pm

Oh Gardener, my friend Raziel is Italian - and he has broken my heart. He said he'd be there for me and then retreated - just when I needed him most. I still hope against hope he will return, but have just about given up on hope. He says he hates liars and players but then has deceived me with his promises of faithfulness. All this platonic, not romantic, but - oh how it hurts, regardless... And - his home town is Bologna...

Dragonfly Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 4:53pm

Dear Jul. I've blogged once, but despite the lovely encouragement and my English degree, I also feel challenged on the ideas front. Like you, I've never conformed to the 'one size fits all' CBT model, and don't think I'd want to. I've been told by a therapist that I've wasted my time and his because I couldn't conjour up the examples that were needed to rework my thoughts. We're all unique and, as you say, look how much everyone brings to this community. Long may some of us remain cognitively mis-behaved!

Jul Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 6:24pm

Hello Dragonfly. You made me laugh about the therapist and you wasting his/her and your time!! I hope the sessions weren't expensive. I agree with you about the ideas. I am not good at thinking up ideas for blogs. If I feel inspired to write after a good night's sleep, I tend to write whatever comes into my head as long as I think it might be encouraging or helpful.I am with you on the cognitively misbehaving.Lol! Jul xx

Mary Wednesday Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 10:28pm

To Dragonsfly and Jul - do you want some ideas? I have loads of ideas but no time to write them, or days of the week to fit them in. I try to write down all the titles and ideas that occur to me, but rarely manage it - and then the ideas retreat into mist.... Not trying to boast or brag or anything - but why not just try writing 300 words on - say (looks around the room) the beauty of an orchid blossom, the significance of the desk lamp, green post it notes, the unbearable lightness of the Samsung S7 Mobile phone, furry handbags (yes, really). Creativity is just allowing these things to rest in your mind, to make links, to describe them using all five (six?) of your senses, to link them with memories. ("The tell-tale tocking of the last cigarette/Marking time in the packet as the whisky sweat/Lies like discarded armour in the unmade bed./And the only sign of life is the scratching of the pen/introducing characters to memory, like old friends..." William Dick (Fish) from Marillion's Happy Hour.) Before you know where you are, you will have a blog that speaks to others. Even if you think it's rubbish. And (I'll let you in on a secret - Caroline will tell you it's true), most of the time I think my blogs are rubbish. OK - so, well-written rubbish - but I'm always thrilled, delighted and surprised when people find them helpful. Honest.

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 10:44pm

It is true!

Jul Wed, Nov 30th 2016 @ 8:14am

Thank you for this Mary. And for taking the time to write to us with some ideas Julxx

Leah Wed, Nov 30th 2016 @ 9:24am

Mary, It is interesting to see how you write and what inspires you. I think everyone has a different style of writing and their own personal approach. I can relate to thinking every blog I write is trivial and rubbish.

The Gardener Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 6:31pm

Dragonfly - don't talk to me about conforming! I started writing, by accident, when I was 40. People liked my stuff, and I have scrap books full. At 50, as a result of too much wine under a Corsican moon I came back to the UK and took a Hist/Pol degree. My mentors criticized me roundly for 'journalese'. I did an MA in Computer Applications for Historians, nearly killed me. I then wrote historical novels from my research. Reaction? Too academic. Re-write - people love them - but not enough to find a publisher. If I were you I'd sling the WPB at your therapist and get writing. I'd like a therapist to try and rework MY thoughts - he'd need a power drill.

Mary Wednesday Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 10:29pm

My dear Gardener - you are unique. Utterly and delightfully unique.

Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 1st 2016 @ 3:25am

I wholeheartedly agree and wow! what a life you have led The Gardener with so many interesting and eventful adventures... Tychi's Mum

Jane Tue, Nov 29th 2016 @ 8:37pm

Hi Jul, This gave me a lovely, warm feeling. Thank you so much x

Jul Wed, Nov 30th 2016 @ 8:15am

Ah thank you Jane. I get a warm feeling reading this from you. take care and go well. Jul xxx

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