Best things in life are not things...

25 Jan 2018
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Once upon a lifetime ago, I learned some valuable life lessons while working as a home care aide.

In that profession, I travelled from home to home in my resilient Pontiac Sunfire and met a vast variety of clients. Although coupled in theory and title both that I was indeed the giver in the equation between patients and myself, on many occasions I noticed that I received also. Unintentionally so.

From an M.S. survivor who sometimes yelled at me I learned to quell my hurt feelings in lieu of the bigger picture: a disease hovering over his life that dwarfed us both. An incurable disease so large and invincible, nay, INVISIBLE that one couldn't throw a shoe at to scare off. Hence he yelled at me and I stood in for the Sclerosis, even apologizing by proxy once in a while. Other times I suggested: "we're in this together. Help me help you. Just wait - I will get it right." He'd calm down and we silently worked out the knots of his personal care.

I have been educated by a mental health patient not to give up on a rough start to our relationship - any connection can improve as surely as they can break down. "Mrytle" misplaced her personal hygiene items and then shouted at me when she couldn't find them. The day she nearly brushed her teeth with hemorrhoid cream we laughed uproariously and she accepted my offer to help organize her tiny apartment. We agreed on a phenomenon of elves foraging for goods in her low end apartment, and if they struck previous to my visit; missing items simply meant missed personal chores. No hairbrush equated no hair brushed. It became our turning point. Articles began showing up simultaneously with reasons to laugh. Mrytle's volatile behavior proved to be an insufficient mask for severe anxiety. She involuntarily taught me that life in all its unfairness possesses hidden gems in situations that sometimes balanced out a portion of the injustice; a bad day was exchanged for a good day, misunderstanding transformed into understanding. The ebb and flow of positive and negative decreases the ridges on life's ragged shoreline. The trick is to watch for it like the sunrise.

The happiest people I met were often the ones with the least tangible positives; meagre incomes, miserly furnishings, poor health, fading memory and few luxuries. Those clients bring me to a level three shame in the mood cards over my own "perception dysfunction," in thinking I have to have things/friendships/circumstances in order to experience contentment. When "Hazel" tried calling her son rather unsuccessfully from the keypad on her vintage microwave due to level two Alzheimer's... I thanked God silently for my mind, such as it may be at times. She unknowingly taught me gratitude on that sad/comical Thursday.

When a paraplegic sat in discomfort awaiting my snow riddled arrival much later than anticipated and still greeted me cheerfully when most individuals would have snapped, I wondered his secret. And coveted his graciousness and serenity. It was a review of the lesson that the best things in life are not things; but people with a happy giving spirit who chose to be so inspite of the world not because of it.

Bailey

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

Email us at support@moodscope.com to submit your own blog post!

Comments

The Miner

Jan. 25, 2018, 12:58 a.m.

Beautiful blog

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:19 a.m.

Thank you.

dancing hippo

Jan. 25, 2018, 1:58 a.m.

Thank you Bailey for this beautiful reminder.

Reply

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:20 a.m.

Thank you.

Mortimer

Jan. 25, 2018, 6:49 a.m.

Beautifully crafted and inspiring blog - thank you.

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:20 a.m.

Thank you.

Red Squaw

Jan. 25, 2018, 7:17 a.m.

How lovely this was to read. I shared it with a colleague who is a care worker friend. I thought she would enjoy reading it and I told her it explained why she was such a lovely person. She's been in the job over 20 years. Thank you Bailey. You have such a special mind and soul ... very creative. Sending you love, fun, peace and contentment x

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:24 a.m.

Thank you.

Orangeblossom

Jan. 25, 2018, 7:23 a.m.

Thanks Bailey for the helpful, positive & encouraging blog which I thoroughly enjoyed reading.

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:24 a.m.

Thank you.

Ach UK

Jan. 25, 2018, 7:34 a.m.

Hi Bailey, Thank you, what a lovely blog to offer us. Brought back many memories, I worked in Health care sector, and your words are so true. Thank you. Ach

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:20 a.m.

Thank you.

Mary Wednesday

Jan. 25, 2018, 7:40 a.m.

Dear Bailey, this made me cry.

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:13 a.m.

Awwww

Ach UK

Jan. 25, 2018, 8:18 a.m.

Please take Big hugs Mary, you are such a special person, you open your heart to us all. Sun is come up . . .again. Would hold you in my arms - do it metaphorically. Lend you my cat . . . XX Ach

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Ach UK

Jan. 25, 2018, 8:20 a.m.

Sorry to hijack blog Bailey.

Sarah

Jan. 25, 2018, 8:19 a.m.

Lovely post that rings true... I would title it ‘Perspective’. It’s a very valuable tool that can really help. But also I think pain is relative to us all, all our challenges are real. Gratitude for what we have also is a great tool, it has helped me.... but I don’t always manage to summon my tools in the moment I need them most. Maybe some of us sometimes need that extra motivation/inspiration to pick us up and spur us on. I hope my comments doesn’t come across as negative! Wishing everyone an optimistic day :)

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:21 a.m.

Thank you.

Jul

Jan. 25, 2018, 8:57 a.m.

Bailey. What a wonderful carer you were. What patience you had. I loved your blog and you have given me things to think about in relation to my daily moans and grievances. Depression is such an invisible health issue though and we strive to be like everyone else but hide our feelings to the outside world. It's lonely actually. I choose not to tell people close to me I am low most days as I don't want them to define me as someone who has these particular health issues. I've never had it that bad anyway, just a general malaise! Depressed people don't have carers as a rule here in the UK. Your blog has shown me how lonely, ill, people living in near poverty can thrive given the right care and a strong spirit in adversity and I have learnt that one can usually see the funny side of our lives daily. I have also been uplifted by you writing that a bad day can be exchanged for a good day. That will stay with me and give me hope on my bad days. Thank you Bailey for an inspiring piece of writing. Julxx

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:14 a.m.

Thank you.

Terence

Jan. 25, 2018, 9:07 a.m.

Absolutely lovely blog thank you x

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:22 a.m.

Thank you.

DAVE

Jan. 25, 2018, 9:27 a.m.

Hi Bailey, Thank you for 'enlightening' our minds to the reakustuc fact that we all have that in-built kind of love you express to each of those who suffer with terminal illness. Your empathy speaks, unlike a picture...2,000 words. We are like motor cars, some of us have old external damaged bangers, some are in better condition where others are gleaming. Some of us wear old clothes, rags perhaps, some are smarter, and there are those who look positive beautiful turned out. But Beauty is not advertised, it is not something to gloat about, beauty come from ***, and that comes from within. Your beauty comes in the recognition that of the importance, and in the beautiful way in which these 'Gifts' which of course they are especially coming from above. Recognising these attributes from within us, and more importantly putting them in to practice, is not only compassionate, caring but vital...if we are to remain in HIS 'Light'. The choice is ours alone as to whether we servce and to whom. I work in the centre for MS sufferers have done for 9years, retired.... The greatest 'Gift' that has come to me is...With Bipolar I have nothing compared to these poor souls both young and old, who sit all day in their wheelchairs. Last year, one lady in a wheelchair, suffering, but very very happy and contented with her lot, attracted Cancer, and very quickly went down hill. We took all the centre in Ambulances to Swanage on the south Coast of England. We went on the stema train. I took my viddeo camera, and pushed her wheelchair along the promenade, it was a beautiful spring day, the sun was shinning and I asked to to remove her glass, I took close ups of her face. the train journey and all of her mates. She asked me one day in the nursing home very close to going 'Home'. She had not opened her eyes all week and her husband was close by her bedside. Sshe ask if I could give her and administration, and bring a colleague with me, all her family were there. I proceed to annoint her head and say a prayer over her. She opened her eyes and smiled...It was all I could do, but it was enough.... She passed away peacefully. I joinedd up all the sequences on my camera, and produced a flim of the days events, I transfered it all to DVD and sent it to her husband with a few copies, along with all the snapshots, The pleasure, the blessing, the joy obtained from serving is undescribably. I know exactly Bailey how you are feeling, I have complete admiration for you and your empathy for others' so struggling in this mortal life. You and those who also nurse and care are the SHINIEST of all the motor cars, you have obtained the 'Gift' of cmopassion, a rare gift.... Your life is a joy to behold, and what an example to all of us...A real giver in every sense of the word. If assets were counted and utilised by all, there would be no wars..... Thank you Bailey, for putting into words that cannot be misconstrude. *** bless your heart. Dave X

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:22 a.m.

Thank you so much!

Antonella

Jan. 25, 2018, 9:48 a.m.

Bailey, you are very strong and positive, and able to take care of others. You are good at absorbing other people's weakness. I didn't like your blog. I feel really enraged after reading it. I imagine that the blog was meant to share your wisdom about the beauty of life, and the importance of perspective. But my fantasy is that you would despise me if you knew that, with no real problem troubling me, I am so unhappy. I am rich, beautiful, successful, healthy. And unhappy. Here it is. I confessed the ****. Is it just my imagination that you feel superior to me because of my psychological problems, or is there anything real behind this thing that I am imagining?

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Ach UK

Jan. 25, 2018, 10:58 a.m.

I am sure it is your imagination Antonella. Mental health difficulties are no respector of wealth,health nor success. I read your words which state you are unhappy, I hope you will find your way to a happier state soon. Ach.

dancing hippo

Jan. 25, 2018, 12:18 p.m.

Dear Antonella . I imagine that it must have taken a lot of courage to speak your mind. I do hope that you are not regretting it . I cannot speak for Bailey but I am sure that she does not feel superior to anybody just because of what she had experienced in her job . She definitely feels compassion for all people who cannot manage one way or the other - physically or emotionally . I had similar experiences - very humbling - when traveling in Peru for example . Big families living in a shack with a single line through for all there clothes and some kind of a fire and one pot for cooking welcoming and offering to share their meagre meal with a smile . The more we possess the more we are worried that we may lose it - even beauty - and for some reason if we have a lot we still want more - like a drug . However when we have very little small things bring us joy . Life for a rich intelligent person will always be more difficult . Any life needs a purpose , any person needs a goal , however small - like a next meal - , and then there is meaning . Some look for meaning to this very short period of time our life is ( think of the age of universe and size of planets in comparison ) for most of it . Some never find it . Some decide that there is none . Some find it in religion . Some in martyrdom . Some in using their talents . Some in propagation . And some never ask the question - these are the happy people - they may be uneducated , they may live on a small holding ekeing out meagre amounts of produce from the earth to survive . Lots of intelligent people envied the simple man close to nature and went there - communes et cettera and lots of them did not find this contentment for themselves . It does not mater what you do and what you have . Everything is inside our head . Attitude , beliefs , thoughts . That is why Mandela was a free man all these years in prison - a wise man . We are building imaginary prisons of our own , lock multiple padlocks and throw away all the keys . I have thousands of books but only would recommend a couple for your malady - Victor Frankl " The Meaning of Life " , "The Alchemist " but maybe start with " A little prince " or Jonathan Seagull the Nightingale , or forget about reading just do something that you always wanted to but were scared shitless , like talk to a stranger for example , homeless or old , maybe not bungi jump - not wise - but there are other ways of flying , learn something new . If you have everything you have time . Time is the most precious commodity . Work out how many hours you have lived so far . Will you be able to survive as many in the future ? is it plausible ? divide them into all activities like sleeping etc. that everybody has to do and see what is left and decide how you want to spend it. You may want to stay in bed to the end and as long as this is what you like and enjoy and do not feel guilty about you will be "happy".

dancing hippo

Jan. 25, 2018, 12:29 p.m.

Sorry if you found me overbearing Antonella . I read your post as a cry for help of a wounded rare bird . I have written not to preach , not to teach , just to share some ideas that I soaked up on my quest of looking for the meaning of my life . I put "happy " in parenthesis because there is this big debate going on at the moment between the knowledgeable lot how you would not even know that you are happy if you were happy all the time . and what happy means and on and on ...These are just terms. Happy , content , serene , satisfied , fulfilled .... Please let us know how you are getting on . Thanks again for posting.

Lexi

Jan. 25, 2018, 12:29 p.m.

I am reminded of the poem that you posted yesterday Antonella. It doesn't interest me in how beautiful or healthy or rich you are. I want to know this stuff about you, that you hurt, and it seems to me that Bailey wouldn't judge you either. Everyone has their own battles - who are we to judge and say one battle is more important or more worthy of compassion than another? I do not judge you. I no longer judge myself when I sit in my dr's office complaining of my sadness knowing there are millions who suffer every day without food or shelter or being about to care for themselves. We all have our battles and they are our battles to face while we are here. xo Lexi

dancing hippo

Jan. 25, 2018, 12:57 p.m.

It was Antonella who posted that poem ? I would have probably written a completely different reply or nothing at all if I connected the dots myself . Definitely do not read any more beautiful words Antonella . Stop thinking . I mean start meditating !!! Which is not thinking at all - not easy . Breathing exercises are good too . Watch " Broken Brain " - you can afford to buy it but do not buy any of these summits - the pressure that it is online only for 24 hrs is the only incentive for me to listen and if I bought it I would just put it aside ( like thousands of my books that gather dust while I stare at the computer screen reading moodscope comments , watching movies or playing poker . You are so lucky because you have money and can put it to good use to repair your brain through healing your gut and because you have a lot of money you do not have to do it on your own - like me - but can use all the help of Functional Medicine Doctor - the best one will be a traditionally qualified doctor who got sick himself ( sick family member will do ) , could not heal them , went looking for help , found nutrition and functional medicine , got cured , healed , went on to study and qualify as a FM Dr. ( like Mark Hyman e.g. ) and keeps learning and healing others . You can afford expensive tests to find out your genetic picture , gene expression and pinpoint the exact cure . However it is good to start straight away . Maybe I should write a blog. What would I do if I had a lot of money and did not feel guilty of spending it lol ? So start with what you eat - mood and food a very strong connection . Gut - second brain . we are what you eat . we know it all and for some reason staff our faces with **** - I am speaking for myself now , please do not feel offended everybody . love and peace to all . and apologies if I went to far . if there is any whiff of anger here the anger is directed towards myself nobody else for knowing it all and stauying in bed with my laptop rather then doing yoga right now or all the things advocated to Antonella. You see Antonella what you made me do ? Kick my own ***.Success.

Antonella

Jan. 25, 2018, 2:12 p.m.

dancing hippo, Lexi, Ach UK, thank you very much for your support. Reading your replies made me burst into tears, and now I already feel better. *** OOO Bailey, I am aware that what I feel when I read a blog is my responsibility. Please take with sense of humor my sharing such a negative emotional response to your blog.

Dragonfly

Jan. 25, 2018, 5:03 p.m.

Dear Antonella, I agree that it's brave of you to write as you have. You've had some caring and thoughtful responses. A previous doctor of mine said he had a patient who similarly 'had it all', but was nevertheless depressed. My brother, although caring and understanding said recently that perhaps I haven't been dealt quite the bad hand I imagine as 'on paper' I've not much to be unhappy about. But depression is cruel and arbitrary. I loved this blog Bailey, it was so insightful and touching and I also hugely admire people who can smile/survive in the face of the greatest adversity. However aren't we all doing that to some extent, and offering support to one another too. x

Molly

Jan. 25, 2018, 8:43 p.m.

Wow, I have not read the comments here in detail, but I do understand completely where Antonella is coming from - we are all told to be grateful and we are supposed to learn from it but depression does not allow us to do this. I am with you Antonella - yes I would love to be one of those happy people in life that was forever grateful, if only it was that simple. I have cared for people that are much less fortunate than I have been, and I have much pleasure in helping them, but it does not cure my own issues, it really is not that simple. It actually portrays us depressive types to be selfish and ungrateful. Not quite that easy as we are actually very unselfish people in general. Well done for speaking out Antonella xx

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:16 a.m.

Never met you. Does that answer your question. Also - I have tremendous pyschological scarring.

Antonella

Jan. 26, 2018, 4:52 p.m.

Yes it answers my question. And I realize that "Confess you despise me" is not a good line to start a conversation with a stranger. I should learn better ways to break the ice.

Tutti Frutti

Jan. 28, 2018, 8:39 a.m.

Hi Antonella I can totally understand what you said about how the blog made you feel as when I am depressed the fact that I know my situation in life is really fortunate compared with other people just makes my self loathing worse! But that is the depression talking. As I am fairly stable right now I don't think it was actually what Bailey was trying to say to us at all. I think Bailey's suggestion of learning gratitude by considering others could be helpful but only at a time I am feeling well and strong. Then it might add a bit to my defences for the next time the depression hits. You sound like you need some TLC at the moment and that an exercise in counting your blessings is going to be way too challenging for right now. It is ok just to look after yourself for now. Take care Love and hugs TF xoxo

The Gardener

Jan. 25, 2018, 9:52 a.m.

My goodness, Bailey, what a lot you packed in - tolerance and understanding shines through. Near us in the UK was a 'Centre for Living' ran by our dynamic Doctor's wife among other inexhaustible carers (bet they collapsed at home). The centre cared for a mixture of people with serious palsies and what you talk about, and serious road accident victims being rehabilated. I got involved as a 'friend'. Then every year we lent our farm buildings for the Policmen's ball, all the emergency services ran a super barn dance. Of course they offered money, we said 'Centre for Living'. Going through my papers I have found poems from a girl who was tetra-plegic, I think. She 'wrote' with a stick attached to a strap round her head to tap the key board of the computer, I write too much here about my 'change of life style' but so many like those you describe, Bailey. I fix my smile at the door, walk tall and greet all those who can communicate. I am going to a funeral tomorrow, in France, of a friend, Catholic, who died suddenly and with little suffering. Is it wrong of me to be glad she has 'gone' so easily when I have so many people in their 90's who want to die? It sounds silly, but this lady always regarded me as elegant, she was always well dressed and very smart hair, (unlike me, screwed up in a ball on top of my head). But I shall dress smartly tomorrow, including hat, in this horrendous January, and hope, that although she cannot be aware of my efforts, I can at least 'honour' her memory. And I agree totally with Dave's last sentence. Enjoy.

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:22 a.m.

Thank you!

Alisha

Jan. 25, 2018, 11:48 a.m.

You made me laugh Bailey with the comment about the microwave! You sound like a lovely person, your 'clients'? ( not sure of the correct term now) were very lucky to have you. A big thank you from all the silent recipients x

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:25 a.m.

Thank you so much!

Lexi

Jan. 25, 2018, 12:18 p.m.

Like many have said, your post was a beautiful reminder to be grateful for the things so often taken for granted. Today, I feel good and I am so grateful for that. And so grateful that there are people in this world like you Bailey who are kind and sensitive to the plights of others. Thank you. xo Lexi

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Leah

Jan. 25, 2018, 8:42 p.m.

Lexi, Hi I left a late comment on your blog. Bailey a very moving and compassionate blog. Very humbling.

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:23 a.m.

Thank you.

Vickie

Jan. 25, 2018, 1:10 p.m.

Inspiring blog. Thank you for sharing such an uplifting message.

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:23 a.m.

Thank you.

Ach UK

Jan. 25, 2018, 5:20 p.m.

Reminder, Here is the link for the survey Caroline asked us to fill in from Mondays blog. https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/BJYKK6C Just in case anyone missed it. Ach.

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 26, 2018, 12:27 a.m.

Thanks Ach. Keep those replies coming in. On average, it takes 6 minutes to complete the survey. Carolinex

Molly

Jan. 25, 2018, 9:04 p.m.

Hi Bailey, without wanting to join the bandwagon here, I have to agree with Antonella on this. I praise you for all you have done, but there are many who have caring jobs and deal with challenging people. I certainly had it in my job, but we all know that there are less fortunate people in the world, there always will be. I admire those that suffer and have a happy face at the end of the day, yes of course, they are lucky to be able to do that. Yes lucky ! And what is their secret, they do not suffer with depression, that is their secret. For some, it is just not possible. Your blog reminds me of a time I was told 'at least you have your arms and legs'. Quite frankly, there are times when I would prefer they were both chopped off if it meant I never had depression again. That might sound harsh, and probably is not entirely true. But people who suffer from depression are quite well aware and have more insight than ever to other's plights and issues. You will find they are the first to help another in need. This blog just continues the stigma of depression. I am glad for the smiley people that still smile against all odds. How I wish I could be one of them. It is not a choice. If it were, I know which one I would choose ? Molly xx

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Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Jan. 25, 2018, 11:57 p.m.

I suffer from major depression, anxiety and p.t.s.d. I am disappointed if my blog gives the impression all I ever do is tiptoe through the tulips giggling merrily. I have had to stop caregiving because I have a high tendency for burnout. This article was not written for moodscope, but on a good day. There are many others... Cheers. Bailey

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Molly

Jan. 26, 2018, 1:58 a.m.

Hi Bailey, I have read your blog again and I see the point you are trying to make and your care giving and obvious compassion for others is totally admirable. I just wanted to say, I didn't assume that you were the happy one in all of this and I am sorry you are a fellow sufferer. In my defence, I think your last sentence was what did it for me, as you mentioned the word 'choice' and I just do not believe there is a choice. Some people are happy even with whatever life throws at them and we can admire them but they are gifted really in that respect, as some people are just not happy, even if they have everything going for them. I find it uncomfortable when people say "she or he is suffering this or that but still keeps smiling" and I find it uncomfortable when people say "she or he has everything going for them, so what is wrong with them, they should think themselves lucky". Apologies if I caused any offence. But I again will say, it is not a choice and that is the word that made me a little angry. Molly xx

dancing hippo

Jan. 26, 2018, 1:22 a.m.

I must say something . I heard it recently and I should start putting it into practice . If one does not have something nice to say one should better say nothing . My point of view does not matter and does not need to be enforced if it is going to hurt somebody's feelings. Constructive criticism is still criticism and we are not here to criticise each other . I have been reminded in the past how many vulnerable souls try to find a sanctuary from outside assaults here . Support is what we come here for not a cold bath . Yes I am guilty of raging against the cosiness but then I should have not come here if I do not like what majority adore . It is true that a flapping of the wing of a fly reverberates and ends as a hurricane . so on and on ...Basically I can only see my mistakes in a mirror so it is all necessary after all but when I do I am really sorry . Again .

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Molly

Jan. 26, 2018, 2:10 a.m.

Dancing Hippo, you are right of course, but if someone wants to speak up, (including yourself), I think that should be accepted and respected. The way I see it, it is not a personal dig, just an opinion. I mean people can ***** foot around and say nice things, but how genuine is that? As long as we are careful (which admittedly I might not have been at times) then I much prefer to hear the truth rather than be dealt with a bunch of flowers that can be bought at the local shop.

dancing hippo

Jan. 26, 2018, 11:48 a.m.

You lost me here Molly . What is wrong with a bunch of flowers bought at the local shop ? All I wanted to do is apologies again for being insensitive , selfish , too direct , not diplomatic ...in expressing my strong , not necessarily correct , views and opinions . We have a saying : " Hit the table and scissors will answer " . I see a hint of apology in your post too . Awareness and insight is essential . Of course we will all make mistakes but repeating the same mistake over and over may teach us nothing unless we are the guy who invented a bulb . Basically it is about not WHAT ? but HOW ? . We may express everything but how we do it matters . A lot . Even to a person who never commented , yet , because they may never find the courage if they see what may happen . We are all fragile .Amen.

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Molly

Jan. 26, 2018, 3:20 p.m.

There is nothing wrong with flowers from the corner shop, I am just waiting to receive mine. They only cost a fiver and of course nice words cost nothing at all. Sometimes I just don't feel like being nice but like you I then feel the need to apologise. We are who we are. RATG said today that I have changed, I can only imagine she didn't read this thread! I think you have changed and you appear much happier, which is great and you speak wise words. We will both have our ups and downs. Also text can be so misunderstood, from how I read this blog (missing the positives and the humour, and seeing the one thing that annoyed me) to how my response might have come across. Yes I agree, we need to try and flower things up but sometimes I cannot do it, as I am sure you will understand. Molly xx

dancing hippo

Jan. 26, 2018, 11:51 a.m.

We both probably like to have a last word so somehow I do not see the end of this conversation . Nothing wrong with that if we do not insult or judge each other .

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Molly

Jan. 26, 2018, 3:21 p.m.

Yes, I always have to have the last word Dancing Hippo - and here it is :-)

dancing hippo

Jan. 26, 2018, 11:52 a.m.

in the process

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Molly

Jan. 26, 2018, 3:24 p.m.

Amen xx

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