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Be true to yourself. Saturday October 19, 2013

'Two roads diverged in the middle of my life,
I heard a wise man say
I took the one less travelled by
And that's made the difference, every night and every day.'

Larry Norman (with apologies to Robert Frost)

How many of us find it easier to simply 'fit in' than do what we either want to or feel is right.

If we start doing what does not feel 'right' - doing 'wrong' for ourselves or others starts to become a habit, especially if we are with the same people for these instances of imbalance.

We then know what is expected of us by these other people either at work, play or home, which needless to say puts pressure on us to continue to be 'wrong' knowingly!

All too often we get caught up in saying something that we believe we are expected to say and if it is not us...who do we then become?

It is this 'tension' that starts to create stress which can build into something far greater as we 'lose' who we really are.

One thing you can do - is simply say 'I'll think about that and come back to you' - if you feel you are being drawn into saying something that is not authentic.

Shakespeare said 'To thine own self be true'...if you are not true to yourself - who can you be true to?

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our Blogspot:

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Nick Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 8:29am

When encouraged, or indeed forced, into trying to become something, or someone, that you are not, this must be one of the fundamental causations of depression.
Being true to oneself, is a vital skill to learn, and one which takes inner strength, however, once discovered - everything falls into place.
Be honest with yourself, and reject the superficial,greed and the shallow behaviour of others. Then you will become happy.

Flo Fflach Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 9:09am

'I'll think about that and come back to you' excellent advice

Anonymous Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 9:59am

Yes, I agree.

Anonymous Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 12:11pm

The timeliness of these posts really has to be more than a coincidence sometimes. Last night something happened which made me so depressed and reading this today has made me realise that the situation only arose because I'm not being true to myself: I am currently involved in an amateur musical production. I love to sing and act, but my dancing leaves a lot to be desired. I am by no means alone with this shortcoming and the routines are ridiculously complex for an amateur production, but I know that I always have and always will stand out more than the others. This is not arrogance, I just have one of those faces/bodies. Anyhow, last night I was asked by the choreographer to stand in a less conspicuous place. Although I pretended not to mind being singled out like this, underneath I was feeling utterly dejected and it is going to take a mammoth effort to return to the next rehearsal. Part of me feels that I should be a diva and express my outrage at being singled out like this (for an amateur show!). However, after reading this, I have now adopted the 'life's too short' approach, realising that I am not being true to myself anyway. I should spend more time doing the things I am good at and less time trying to convince myself that I can do the things I really can't. Of course it is good to challenge yourself, but unfortunately dancing involves a lot of 'going with the crowd' and that's never really been my style!

Julia Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 1:08pm

It's such a pity that you can sing and act, amazing attributes which not many of us have and yet the choreographer has made you feel you can no longer be part of the performance. I was going to post here earlier and say how important it is to be true to oneself and that trying to conform to other peoples standards or whatever over a prolonged period can definitely cause depression. It happened to me at work. However it is very difficult not to conform when your income depends on conforming and that's where good employee management comes in. People should be placed in positions where they can contribute according to individual skills and personality. Much has been written by experts in this field. Of course many many employers couldn't care less about their employees welfare and just want the job done regardless of the toll it is taking on the employee.Just so long as the manager gets his bonus! So your choreographer should know better than to single you out in front of everyone.The performance will suffer if someone who can act and sing leaves. I loved your phrase."going with the crowd" and that never being your style but surely productions like the one you are in, should welcome you with open arms and make it possible for you to shine as a singer. Don't give up yet. Are you saying everyone in the performance is an excellent dancer? Or are you saying that those who cannot dance well, don't mind being lost in the crowd? But then why are they not singled out? Good luck! I am sure whatever your decision is, it will be the right one for you.You must make sure it is!

Julia Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 1:14pm

I do like today's blog plus Nick's post above. Nick is so right, being true to oneself does take inner strength, an enormous amount of inner strength but it should be everyone's mantra throughout life, be yourself.

Anonymous Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 2:51pm

I re-watched "Nowhere Boy" last night. This film should be on the National Curriculum. Peace & Love.

Julia Sat, Oct 19th 2013 @ 4:10pm

Never watched this. I will! Thank you.

Les Sun, Oct 20th 2013 @ 1:22am

"You've got to be believed to be heard" Bert Decker once said.......Who do you have to believe first....? Yup - yourself......and if YOU want to be have to believe in YOU. "All serious daring starts from within." Harriet Beecher Stowe

keg Sun, Oct 20th 2013 @ 1:45am

Love this post.

Julia Sun, Oct 20th 2013 @ 8:26am

Yes I know what you mean. When I was working I was never confident that I was right so would hardly ever speak up in meetings or if I did, it wouldn't be a in a convincing manner so consequently the domineering face fits people in the room would soon demolish me or swiftly move over onto another topic. However I was more often than not right and someone else would take up my points and suggestions as their own after the meeting. So it all boils down to having the confidence in yourself. I have noticed too that people who think they are right, will say the most outrageous things and others will believe them just because of the way they say it, I must remember "all serious daring starts from within"!! Great stuff Les!

Anonymous Mon, Oct 21st 2013 @ 1:53am

Take the feedback for what it is. It is likely simply the fact that you have to improve as a dancer. A bit fatalistic, I think, to define yourself as not being good at anything. Definitions limit us. Use the feedback to grow; dedicate yourself to mastering the steps and the choreography. From my perspective, I think you're being less true to yourself if you give up than if you stick with it and persevere. Think of how you'll feel coming out on the other end of the experience having pushed yourself to achieve when you wanted to quit. Anything worth doing is going to be difficult. I don't think giving up is what the Bard had in mind when he said to thine own self be true. Seems like you're using "being true" to yourself as an excuse to give up and quit.

Anonymous Mon, Oct 21st 2013 @ 1:58am

I'll be checking out "Nowhere Boy" too.

Love this quote from Lennon:

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

Julia Mon, Oct 21st 2013 @ 1:44pm

Yes I think she should continue too. But we may never know!

Julia Mon, Oct 21st 2013 @ 1:45pm

Fantastic. What a bright boy Lennon was. I knew it!

Kuntas Thu, Nov 21st 2013 @ 9:27pm

Thanks for the lovely sharing
Peace and Love

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