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December


Be the Change You Want to See... Thursday December 31, 2015

I volunteered recently in London for three days with the homelessness charity Crisis, as a befriender.

This was at one of their non-overnight centres, where about 70% of those coming in for services (food, dentistry, clothes, optician, advice, I.T., massage etc.) were living alone and over and above these services, they came in for the company and conversation.

My main role was to be in the cafeteria area and, without any assumptions, connect with the guests and simply have a conversation, if they wished to do so.

I found again that as we create an environment or conversation where people feel safe – the 'spirit' becomes one of selflessness; connecting as one, equal and fair, whether it be at Crisis or in fact home, work, church or any organisation.

The phrase that I reflect on repeatedly – 'show weakness to gain strength' - was demonstrated time and again and I found that when those who have the power or control to lead the way by showing their humility, their imperfections and thus their desire to emphasise their humanity – that this is truly THE key to creating a safe space for people to show their own true self and their desire to share the fact that only together as one humanity, will we connect and achieve.

The opposite situation, where people seek power and control to cover their own personal or organisational insecurity creates a culture of fear and insecurity which results in a move towards selfishness. (often bankers, politicians, bosses, insecure bullies et al)

This is also reflected in the animal world as I noticed in the Gorillas & Me programme presently running, where the cameraman and others have had to show their weakness (look down and away) to enable a true bond to be created with the big 'boss' Silverback.

Crisis is there due to people being alienated by our society and its lack of compassion and our selfish ME and materialistic culture.

Oh... did I mention that our guests say they are so alone... because society in general abuses them and treats them like lepers? Probably due to their own insecurities and fears through not being able to show themselves.

Who can you show your own weaknesses to, this New Year to make it safe for them to reveal their true self and thus create a more fair and sustainable relationship?

Les
A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Lex Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 5:37am

"I'm only human
Of flesh and blood I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes"
Really like your line, Les, 'show weakness to gain strength'... reminded me of those lyrics from the Human League. Even the Band's name makes sense in the light of your words... L'x (Neil)

the room above the garage Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:14am

Haven't heard that song in ages, love it, very apt.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:13pm

Hi Lex I would like to add to your lines.... "which I will happily admit." Mistakes are rarely mistakes if we learn from them and admit it to others.....show weakness etc...

Lex Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 5:40am

An interesting one for the group to support on too is that my greatest disappointment this year has been opening up and showing my true weaknesses to someone (who I thought was a close friend).
I then discovered they weren't. How do we deal with that?
I know it has to be faced by all of us.

the room above the garage Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:27am

In a sweeping statement i'd say this was why my relationship failed. It's incredibly damaging. I have yet to even begin to start work on picking up the pieces of trust preferring to trust only myself and in here. However, you can hold on to you within that. You remain the same regardless of their response. You are a magnificent person regardless of their response. Without knowing detail, I'd say if they shunned you or were unsupportive in an unkind way or disinterested, then it's perhaps time to reduce contact in a big way. However, if they are 'just' unable to understand, there is hope for them to learn or perhaps return to the status of before. I think some people have that emotional card missing...and 'we' seem to have extra.

LillyPet Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:31am

I've experienced this too. It takes alot to recover from the pain that is caused by a loved one. There are people who can be trusted and who are prepared and able to say that they will never let you down out there though guys. xx

susan Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:32am

If a relationship is to evolve into a true friendship, then at some point the vulnerabilities have to be shared. At least that's my opinion and experience. Those relationships that don't pass this test are better off ended or kindly limited...and preferably sooner rather than later. This understandably causes sadness but even sadder is the fact that this 'friend' was not able to face their own vulnerabilities and share in return. Their loss, Lex, definitely their loss. xx

Frankie Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 11:55am

Morning Lex; if this happened to me, I think I would grieve ... I also think that I would prefer to continue to take the risk with future potential relationships - though as ever this is much easier said than done! And RATG, LillyPet and susan are all very wise in what they say ... Frankie x

Mary Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 3:10pm

When that happens you discover that you have lost nothing but illusion. They have lost everything of worth in you. When that happens you have to move on in order to give yourself to others who will care, who will cherish your weaknesses, and relish your strengths. It's easy to say "It's their loss" but it's painful. That illusion was precious to us. But again, you have lost nothing of real worth. And you have freed that space in your life to offer to someone who can give you real worth. (Me! Me! raises hand excitedly over head and bounces up and down in her seat!!!! - but hey - you already knew that....)

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:21pm

Lex For me.....we will never have a truly open and authentic relationship unless we take that risk to show our true self......otherwise, who is that person attracted to? Certainly not the real you.....and thus only trouble or unhappiness will ensue. Brene Brown is mentioned below - her wonderful books and TED Talk - the second most watched ever 22million.....would clearly state ........ “You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. But you cannot have both.” Not to take the risk of revealing the authentic you - is about comfort, without the possible hurt or of course without the most energising, aligned and authentic relationship you will ever know. If we show our true selves and get hurt, due to someone who previously did not show their authentic self........we simply, in some way, accept that gift - as challenging as it may be and move on.....or let them affect our lives until we do.

Alex Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 5:42am

It may seem selfish, but...

"Who can you show your own weaknesses to, this New Year to make it safe for them to reveal their true self and thus create a more fair and sustainable relationship?"

Who? Me. Start to try to allow myself to accept myself.

Not got much in the way of words at the moment....difficult to express what I mean(I go mute under stress, including 'mute in writing'....find words hard)

Alex

the room above the garage Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:36am

Hello Alex (crafty wee midden?). To begin to have self acceptance was a big step forward for me. Not there yet but the door is open! To even write those words shows you're ready. I understand closing down in times of stress but I hope you know that you will receive nothing in here but a blanket and being mute is allowing the stress to grow. (How are the cats? Or has my memory mixed them up with dogs? I can only think of names like Dakar snd Spok but I know that's wrong... If indeed I have the right Alex...)

LillyPet Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:26am

Hey Alex, I find that I lose my words if I am nervous too. If it feels like "public speaking". Thankfully I dont feel nervous here. It feels very safe. You expressed what you meant perfectly! So glad you posted such an important point, we have to work on our own wellbeing as a priority. I also think that simply connecting with others in an authentic way, however we are in ourselves, can be mutually rewarding. Thanjs for your comments and keep them coming! LP :) Morning ratg! :) x

Frankie Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 11:57am

Hello Alex (CWM? - lovely to see you here!) This is so true "start to try to allow myself to accept myself"; I found Louise Hay really helpful for this. Frankie

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:24pm

Hi Alex Spot on. // It aint't selfish. // To fully accept ourselves is one of the greatest challenges we face and I ain't there yet. // We can however also reveal our 'incomplete' self and thus allow others to become more self aware, possibly of their own acceptance. // All change starts with a shift in self-awareness person, family, community, organisation, country et al.

Alex Fri, Jan 1st 2016 @ 2:59am

Thanks all....and yes, ratg, you're correct: cats, Spock and Data....Data was freaked out by the noise of the fireworks, and just came through for a snack, a pee, and a cuddle; I hate damned fireworks for so many reasons, but especially the fright and harm they cause to animals, both indoor and the wee wild ones who have their habitats disrupted....had a rough few weeks. Meltdown at the GP. Lot of stuff. Just keeping going. The mute/speech loss thing, when stressed, is partly the after effects of the stroke: I find that accepting that I have that helps, as it doesn't scare or bother me so much....it's just part of who and how I am, now. And that's ok. Irn Bru and Cadburys Choc teacakes to bring in the new Year....."to absent friends".....so many, now....but they live on, in my heart and memory. Wishing you all health and peace Alex, (the crafty wee midden)and the boycats Spock and Data

Zander Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:10am

That's great Les . Well written powerful reflection . Live it.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:25pm

Hi Zander Thanks.....appreciated.

Hopeful One Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:24am

Hi Les- to show weakness is to show that one is vulnerable and that is a risk one has to take. -the risk of failure,rejection etc.In an evolutionary sense it is self eliminating. I think it matters in which'world that risk is taken the 'cooperative' or the 'competitive 'for the rules are different in each and, as a far as I can tell mutually exclusive.So I will choose- if I sense that the situation is competitive then I keep my vulnerability to myself but I would be happy to reveal or share it if I sense that the situation is cooperative.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:29pm

Hi HO - True stuff....and .....if you are brave enough, also reveal it in the competitive world....otherwise it will never change. // Gandhi - Mother Teresa - MLK etc. // 'We have to be the change we want to see in the world' Gandhi // It cost me my job at one point.....but who am I if I don't stick to my values?? // Certainly not the authentic me. // Many prostitute themselves for money and wealth - dare I say 'comfort' in Brene's terms..?? // There is no short cut to anywhere worth going.

Sally Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:38am

Like you, Alex, I go mute when under stress and find words hard. Good to know not just me!
Les - really great blog. I love the phrase " show weakness to gain strength" and hadn't heard it before, so many thanks for another excellent mantra to use. I am bad at showing weakness, just hide away and pretend...not helpful to others who might wonder if they've done something when I don't contact.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:30pm

Hi Sally - Thanks.....for sure...simple but not easy.

LillyPet Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:16am

Hi Les,
The opposite as you've described is true for my workplace and boss. Any vulnerability I show is later used as a weapon against me. However, I remain true to myself and am real. I continue to help the people I work with by being humble. Humility really does put them at ease and we connect as equals, working together towards a common goal. It's a great pity that the "office politics" due to the leadership approach will not recognise or enable this.
But hey I'm still on hols so, thankfully can enjoy this beautiful sunny new year's eve in London. I generally am all too ready to show my weaknesses, but your blog has given me more confidence in myself Les! I feel up lifted, so thank you :) Sending love, light, peace and moments of joy to all :) LP xxx

Sheena Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:31am

You sound so very thoughtful and comfortable to work alongside! Approachable sounds like the word I'd use for you! In modern thinking leadership is not only top down ... so clearly you are ahead of your workplace.

Hopeful One Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 11:28am

Hi LillyPet- You are doing the right thing by being true to yourself.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:35pm

Hi LillyPet - 'office politics' says it all. Politics means people stick to a party not themselves as a person....even although they may start out with a vision!! // Management is more about office Politics and a Position of Power - leadership (for me) is about People. Very few organisations are lead - simply managed - Money B 4 Morals. // Humility is great as long as you are not too affected personally from working in a Poisonous culture.

Sheena Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:26am

What a stimulating blog! I only logged on to do my score. I so often enjoy your writing in particular Les that I wanted to wish you a fulfilling and happy new year. Of course, also wishing all of us a rewarding and peaceful 2016.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:37pm

Hi Sheena - Many thanks.......and a 'guid Sco'ish new yeer' tae yi and aw that read Moodscope.

Debs Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:37am

Ahhh Les, so often I wonder if we were separated at birth ;-) I too volunteered at Crisis and felt the deepest connection when I showed weakness, empathised and really took a step out of my own way. It was one of the best Christmases I can remember for a long time. Your words remind me of the work of Brene Brown, arguably the master (mistress?!) of vulnerability. To show it is to put yourself on the line, to make yourself stand out; never a comfortable place to be. But the rewards are deeper human connections and there's no greater present at Christmas than that. Thank you for sharing xxx

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:38pm

Hi Debs - Brene Brown....on the money!! // Courage or Comfort! Thanks....

Debs Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:40am

Sending peace and joy to you all this NYE... It's been a pleasure to connect with you and get to know you all over the past year and I look forward to learning from you and sharing with you in 2016. Much love, Debs xxxx

patricia Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:42am

Oh! Les do admire you for helping people who are in need. The road we lead has many crossroads at times we take the wrong one and end up lost wondering what the hell happened. I live in a small town and we only have 1 homeless on the street, I give him something when I can, usually say no to the big issue this is for you. But when I go into Exeter City there seem to be many how do I know which one is genuine, as there is a limit, which worries me, because you hear stories some come in and make a living out of it, and they have a home to go home to. Having said that I do say to who ever is wanting "Sorry not today" which is better than ignoring them, they usually say thank you for that.
So we have a lot to be thankful for, but we do spend a lot of time questioning ourselves, feeling no good, useless, all the negative thoughts etc
So Good thoughts everyone for 2016

danielle Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 5:19pm

Patricia it is very hard to know who are genuinely homeless. I do some work with the homeless in my home town and from getting to know them around 80% are not technically homeless. They do have somewhere to stay but usually a halfway house type place or temporary dorm type accomodation provided by the council. Many say they do not feel safe there as allsorts of things go on- stealing etc. I dont think they are places that you and I would call home. Some have flats etc provided by council but cannot hold down a job due to disability/addiction etc. I sometimes struggle and wonder if i am being taken for a ride, but in my own mind i would rather give them a sandwich etc and if they are being dishonest then that is on their conscience. If you are worried some are not 'real' and dont want to give them money could you carry a small amount of non perishable foods like cereal bars/cup a soups etc and give them one of those or offer it? this way you can still feel like you have helped etc but without the money going to the wrong place. It is very sad that some people pretend as this makes the public sinicle which means those genuine homeless struggle even more. I long for a day when there is no poverty and problems but i think i will be longing for a while! xxx

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 8:42pm

Hi Patricia - Aye, tricky stuff and I guess even acknowledging someone is for sure better. // From what I heard this week, even to look them in the eye and say something, may be 'enough' in some ways, to enable them to feel part of this society.

The Gardener Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:18am

Hi Les - you evoke memories of when I helped at Crisis over thirty years ago - that is a whole generation. We just did one centre - a disused church - 1,300 'guests' and cooking in the vestry. I was 'greasy Joan' and did the 'baccy run' issuing home rolls (presume they have to smoke outside now). So admired the students who tactfully removed any bottles from those who had been to the pubs. One lovely guy explained his 'war wounds'. 'I broke me nose when I fell out of the Lamb and Flag'. 'Broke me elbow when I fell (or was thrown?) out of the Red Lion. The fire brigade cooked the turkeys, surgeons from a major hospital came and sliced them. Voluntary organisations came in with clothing and first aid. Now I find it's much sadder. Not just those sleeping rough because their habits were such that they were not accepted in hostels. The increased inability of people to live together, splitting up then not able to afford the exorbitant house prices, their own character and probable depression has alienated them from friends and families. Anne-Sophie has been in this morning, one of 5 auxiliary nurses who come in to wash and dress mr G. They've all got families, but turn up smiling to deal with frequently most difficult people. If I had a wish for 2016 it is that more people give a little bit of their time and talents to help those in difficulties - a smile, hug and chat may be all that's needed. I've been glancing through my 2015 'misery' diary. Through it all shines my 'friends' on Moodscope, and one special girl - same age as my third son, lives in this town, Mother in UK in a worse state than Mr G. She always replies to my e-mails - often we just exchange each other's rigours - but we're there for each other. Decided against a bottle of champagne, will probably make me cry - but will go and have a drink at the local bar when I've finished playing in my WARM shop in readiness for 'Open House' over the week-end. To those who are going to whoop it up tonight please blow an extra blow on your squeaker. Love, light and joy to all.

Mary Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 3:16pm

TG - your wise words always add so much to my day. I so wish you did not have to go through everything you are at the moment, but hearing about your wonderful rich life is fabulous. I think I want to be you when I grow up! Although I am not sure I could cope with as much grace if Mr Mary were to require as much care and patience as your husband.

susan Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:43am

Beautiful words and understanding, Les. My brother-in-law is with us for the holidays; he has many health problems, is open and vulnerable and very humble. His heart energy is so powerful, that, mixed with his considerable brain, he is a magnet for everyone. Even people who don't know him well will open up in the presence of such humanity -- and it amazes me every time. I think you must be like that, too. xx

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:57pm

Hi Susan - It's great you see the power of an open heart......its signal influences others......in Equine Assisted Learning - the horses will only work with those who are truly authentic.....

John Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:51am

Hello, this is the first time I have posted a comment on the blog. I really enjoy them. I joined moodscope to help my friend who has MH illness. It would allow him to do his moodscope score and share it with me. I would do likewise and share it with him. Though the primary purpose was to help my friend, I have helped myself. You see it helped me be onest with myself as to how I was coping emotionally, which frankly, has not been well. It lead me to talking to people, including my friend about my depression. I've had a tough year, and my Dad passed away this year, and so being willing to be open and vulnerable about my feelings is vital to moving forward. This year I wrote a song, ithe first verse goes like this:

When I'm lost and confused;
Things are haywire; feelings bruised
The Lord is my ever present help in trouble
My true refuge, my true refuge

Hopeful One Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 11:39am

Cool. Maybe one day we will get to read the whole song? I tried singing it using the the Paul Macartney Lyric ' Let it be' and it kind of worked! You will no doubt create your own tune!

Frankie Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 12:00pm

Hello John - great to see you here! Wishing you peace of mind and heart as you journey through your grief ... I remember it well ... Frankie

Mary Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 3:13pm

Welcome John. Welcome. So pleased Moodscope has been able to help you. I hope it's helped your friend too.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:01pm

Hi John - You can never help others, without also helping yourself......To serve is to lead....as trust flows from truly serving. Good for you... Also it is a well used concept, that those who will openly talk about depression will be far less likely to commit suicide. When I talk about my depression, often people come up and ask about their spouse or family and how to cope..... Show weakness to gain strength.

Frankie Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 12:02pm

Wise words as ever, Les; thank-you. Frankie

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:01pm

Hi Frankie - thanks.

Mary Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 3:12pm

Les - this was just - perfect. And - so very very lovely to see you here again. I have missed you.

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:02pm

Hi Mary - Thank you - such comments are heartfelt by me.

Susan Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 4:54pm

Welcome John, the words of a song come to mind..You grace abounds in deepest waters..Your sovereign hand will be my guide..where feet may fail and fear surrounds me ..You've never failed and you won't start now. Lovely blog today, Les..His strength is made perfect in our weakness, Susan

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:03pm

Hi Susan - great concepts...

danielle Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 5:13pm

Les, a lovely thing you did volunteering at Christmas. Me and my mother did it 2 years ago at a similar project in our home town. Neither of us are huge fans of christmas so we thought why not. It really was a reminder that it doesnt matter if the stuffing is a little burnt or if we dont have quite the right cheese and crackers - these people have very little for what ever reason are in a bit of a muddle. For the past year me and OH have been involved in a community project in our home town and take food into the town center every Saturday night with hot drinks. Nothing fancy, just sandwiches and cup a soup. I dont discuss it with many but a few who have known we do it say things like 'what if they arent homeless' 'they might use my money for drugs' etc etc. I just think if you have no other option than to sit on the streets and beg people then things must be quite rough for you. It takes us minimal time and effort to take the food and many appreciate it and also now have a chat with us. The hardship they face isnt great, one guy was in the army, has fought for our country and now sits there whilst people spit at him, ignore him etc and it breaks my heart. I hope that us taking food once a week, people volunteering etc will give them a tiny bit of hope they need to get their lives back on track. Perhaps they made a bad choice somewhere along the road, but havent we all been guilty of that in some sense? maybe my bad choices were buying the wrong dress, taking the wrong job, choosing the wrong boyfriend when i was young etc all have had minimal consequences but equally they could have been other bad choices with disastrous consequences. I doubt any of them grew up wishing to be drug addicts, homeless, alchoholics or what ever labels they now have. Thank you for doing what you did and hopefully giving some of them hope that there is still some compassion and humanity in some people in this world, you are a kind and beautiful person xxx

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:07pm

Hi Danielle - Fab stuff and so true about different choices.....keep showing your compassion and humility....Be that change & better to give than receive. The 'doubters' are showing their own insecurity and placing it on others....

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 5:42pm

Hi All

I am travelling right now......and will answer some of your comments when I get home in about 3 hours......thanks for having the time and energy to comment or respond to comments.


The Gardener Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 7:53pm

Help! photo just in of a hand with two diamond rings - grand-daughter obviously engaged! Then, different celebrations, plumber, heating engineer and boss were in my kitchen (new) till 5.15 - and we are warm, can cook and wash up (only cold water, never mind) and the water runs away (this features largely in our doing up of 7 wrecks). As in ghosts of Christmas past? (Dickens?) New Years Eves are running like a film in front of me. You needn't read this - although you might want to fill in time till auld Lang Syne. I expect Leah is having breakfast in the sunshine. So, start with Sydney. New Year's Day was the second hottest day recorded in Sydney. We had a good evening - picture of me in glorious Indian dress, balloons to match, silver top hat - took us hours to walk home to our hotel with all the greetings. Between Java and Sumatra, on a luxury small cruise ship (daughter in law gave lectures) standing on the deck at midnight, phosphorescence, porpoises and jelly-fish the size of dustbin lids, and dancing with an enormous Sumatran - fantastic, Mr G not too keen but I got a round of applause. Goa, in what should have been the party of the century - elephants too - got first course and the heavens opened, unheard of. Rain stopped before midnight and we went out for fireworks - not knowing if my dress was fire-proof and the craziness of the Indians I was ready to jump in the nearest swimming pool. Rome, a very expensive, but quite good meal - and they threw us out and closed the restaurant at 11.30. We wandered out, found a bar - and what a find - barman had just had news of his first child, a boy - that party lasted all night. Local village here - rather poor people but good meal. Sitting in a corner was a sadly over-wifed man - twice his size. He wore his cloth cap throughout - then, at midnight he erupted, and chased my d-in-law and myself (both blonds and overdressed for the place) for half an hour - then he went back to his seat, and presumably his hovel or cave (that sort of village, still some earth floors 25 years ago.) Some of best at home here with very young grand-children - taking advantage of the neighbour - putting pointed hats on Monsieur like a donkey then spraying him with foam. In second sons ski chalet in the alps - we'd been snowed in for 48 hours (skidded into town in the Land Rover). I did all the cooking while the youngsters waited for everybody to arrive by delayed trains/planes at Geneva - magic ambience. A spectacular one when I pigged out on langoustines and was dreadfully ill - did not find out until another few occurrences that I was totally intolerant to the beasts. In a beach night-club in Positano, with youngsters trying to improve my Italian at 4 a.m. Mr G still in sweater - intrigued Italians, it was baking. I said he was a cold-blooded englishman, bit unfair but Italy takes me that way. Different note, Danielle - we don't have many homeless - there is quite good organisation to deal with them - the ones we have are very manipulative, can be aggressive - but, never give them money - food if they are begging outside the supermarket (and for their dogs they usually have). Revving myself up to go 'Solo' on Skype. Old age is making me garrulous, sorry folks - also suffering champagne deprivation.

The Gardener Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:36pm

Absolute last word for 2015. Computer with Skype on it is dead. Dramatic New Years. In a tiny seaside place in Italy the waiters would stand on their respective terraces and lob fireworks at each other across the water. Then someone dropped a cigarette in one of the boxes, subsequent explosion blew the restaurant windows in. Then, in Sicily, the local police (all armed) had the habit of 'shooting' the old year out. Occassionally they forgot they were in a block of flats and killed someone on the terrace above. (Although, being Sicily, may not have been an accident.)

Lexi Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 9:52pm

Thank you Les. My intentions - not resolutions, but heartfelt intentions- for 2016 are to continue my journey to deeper self love. Because really, if we don't love ourselves, who will? I'm being sarcastic of course - lots of folks can and do love us - but if we can't look at ourselves and love all the bits - even the not so pretty ones - does it really matter if others love us? So I hope for self love and happiness and lots of humor for all of us in 2016! Cheers!

Les Thu, Dec 31st 2015 @ 10:11pm

Hi Lexi - Yup - self-love. You can only love others as much as you love and thus accept yourself. Something I have to continually work at........ A great hope for everyone in 2016.....

Wendy Sat, Jan 2nd 2016 @ 7:06am

Thank you so much for reminding me of this simple but oh so powerful approach to dealing with situations that appear on the surface impossible to change. I have one of those just now and will use this approach. All the best and thank you again.

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