When I saw that moodscope were looking for contributions, I decided it's my time to speak up. There have been so many days when my daily e mail from moodscope has picked me up and given me the inspiration I needed to muddle through my day.
Now I've finally made it to a brighter place, I want to share and hopefully help others in the same way.
I want to talk about medication.
My problem has been post natal depression, I am very sensitive to hormonal changes and the process of pregnancy and childbirth really emphasised that.
After my daughter was born, it was really tough for me to admit to not coping but I knew it wasn't just about me anymore, so I took the medication, grudgingly. The moment I felt better, I considered myself cured and stopped the pills.
More recently, I had my son. I knew the signs of PND, I was expecting it, but I was still mad about it. I was started back on the same pills, the same dose but this time I was somehow wiser, I was more honest with myself, more honest with the GP, and instead of resenting the medication, this time I appreciated it. Being honest led to the dose being doubled, and wow - I can honestly say I feel like a new person. I'm not talking about someone who walks around on cloud 9 all day, I'm talking about being the old me, the me that can function, the me that doesn't feel completely overwhelmed by the thought of putting a load of washing in the machine.
If I had a physical, visible problem I know that I never would have had a problem taking the required medication. Yet somehow because I felt like a failure needing medication to be 'normal me', I resented it.
It might not seem the perfect solution in the beginning, but to feel happy and balanced is not something I will take for granted again.