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March


An interview with myself. Saturday March 25, 2017

It feels like there are 2 people in my head. One is confident, courageous and positive, the other is conservative, cautious and anxious. Most of the time they co-exist peacefully, but when I am under stress they fight. Their battles go on for days and weeks, as long as the stress persists. But I am determined and the confident one suppresses the worried and anxious one, not letting her speak, pushing away her comments forcing her to be quiet. This needs to happen so I can continue to move forward and progress to do the things I need to do. But then when I am asleep, I start sleep talking, repeating the same phrases over and over, sometimes to shout out - shouting is something I am too quiet to do when awake.

I asked a psychologist about it. He said it is quite common for people to feel this way, and many people have a chattering conversation in their heads, that the sleep talking was the repressed person not being able to get a voice in the day, emerging from the sub- conscious at night.

I was tired and worn out with it all. He gave a simple exercise to do. To put 2 chairs (e.g. Kitchen chairs) opposite facing each other. Sit in one and ask a question. Then move to the other facing chair (it doesn't work if you don't move) and answer your question. Moving forward back and forth, interviewing yourself. At most I can manage about ten minutes. But it really clears my mind. Everyone has a chance to speak, all are listened to, and the tension in my stomach released.

It helped me, what do you do to find peace?

The woman whose feet don't touch the ground.
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Leah Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 6:28am

TWWFDTTG,
What an intriguing blog. Thanks.
I have written letters to my inner critic, to my bipolar, to my worried self etc.
I have had conversations as you describe but between myself and someone with whom I have issues.
I may give it a go but I can see myself getting worked up and arguing more and getting a headache. For me writing a letter worked better as it is slower and there is no interrupting!!
Thanks again for sharing what worked for you.

The woman whose feet don't touch th Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 8:17am

Hi Leah thank you for commenting- I might try your letter writing. I feel extremely uncomfortable with conflict so tend to hold things in, I think your idea would help me.

Sheena Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 9:57am

Hi Leah - I agree that 'a one way' reflecting can clear the mind for me too. Your blog yesterday was very thought provoking and although late in commenting I t felt I just had to! With all this inner critique going on looking for outside approval too is very demanding of oneself, Sheena

Sally Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 7:45am

What an interesting blog, TWWFDTTG. Thank you so much for sharing. It sounds like the sort of thing I am going to do, or at least remember for when / if things get bad in my head.
There are a wealth of intriguing helpful ideas out there. This one was particularly helpful to me some years ago. The counsellor asked: "Imagine a racing track. Where is your car at the moment. " Without so much as a flicker, I was able to tell him, and visualised my car, lying toppled by the side of the track just outside the perimeter. The power of the mind, just incredible.
I am grateful to you for explaining this particular technique, thank you and go well.

The woman whose feet don't touch th Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 8:20am

It is true - as soon as I read I your suggestion I saw an old fashioned red racing car but driving on a track deep in mud! Thank you for sharing- take care

Jane SG Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 9:52am

I love this Sally. My car is small and blue and has stalled. However I have pushed it into the pit stop for a couple of days and hope to return to the track like Penelope Pitstop, hot pink and confident xx

Sally Wed, Mar 29th 2017 @ 7:51am

I was interested to read your comments in response to my track suggestion , TWWFDTTG and Jane SG.

Jul Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 7:54am

Hi. I find it's not so much two diffeent sets of voices in my head, more I am two different people (not at the same time), confident or unsure of myself. I think it's normal to have chattering going on in our mind. I am absoutely certain it is. Occasionally it gets too much and I am aware of it so I just listen to external sounds for a bit which will calm it. But of course my mind will go back to its normal state later. Your exrecse is new to me! I am so glad your chair exercise helps you and thank you for telling us about it and for writing a blog. I's a good one. Julxx

The woman whose feet don't touch th Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 8:24am

Hi Jul - your description sounds also like me - I will try your suggestion, it may help. It isn't always convenient to interview yourself but your technique you can use Anywhere. Thank you for commenting take care

Jul Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 8:32am

I am sorry about the typos especialy the final one. I meant to write It's a good one. Your blog! Julxx

Jane SG Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 9:48am

Hi TWWFDTTG, since trying dry hard to work on my insecurities and fears for the past 2-3 years I now call the two voices, or attitudes, 'new Jane' 'old Jane.' It's not a completely correct description either way as there will always be a mix of the two but new Jane employs healither reactions and behaviours whereas old Jane can react very negatively in a desperate attempt to protect herself from hurt- which doesn't actually work. When I'm in 'new Jane' mode I fee fantastic. When in 'old Jane' mode I feel terrible and worry more. I like your technique x

Jane SG Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 9:54am

I also have typos!!!

The woman whose feet don't touch th Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 4:53pm

Hi Jane thank you for the comment, it seems that you have worked really hard to change your life around, and that it is working, keep going & well done take care - I am not even seeing the typos....

John Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 4:15pm

Thank you for this reminder, TWWFDTTG of this Gestalt Therapy technique developed by Fritz Perls. Search on "top dog/under dog" for more. I remember when I first encountered this tool as a method for working with dreams. Perls felt everything in the dream was some aspect of the self and would use this tool to help the dreamer unearth the wisdom of the various "parts."

Zooming out some, there are some life processes where the parts must cooperate for survival (think of exhaling and inhaling) and others where one can come to dominate (say, to enter or leave a relationship). This suggests a meta-part that appreciates this difference!

Thanks for sharing, and week writing!

John Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 4:16pm

typo alert: ... 'keep' writing. I dunno where week came from ... [note to moderators ... we could use an edit function]

The woman whose feet don't touch th Sat, Mar 25th 2017 @ 5:01pm

Hi John thank you - I will look the reference up and thanks for decoding the typo - that did have me confused, take care

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