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Alive again. Tuesday November 12, 2013

Here's a touching poem from Katherine a Moodscope user.

I used to think I liked a drink
Or did I drink to think?
I think I drank, and drank, and drank
To think about no drink
And then a light bulb flashed
And lit my reddened eyes
It shone a way to seize my life
Awake my feelings dulled by drink
To think in other ways
It was to be life-saving
As I was now to be
Sober and alive again
With glowing pride
To think without a drink
So, if you feel a little low
Or wonder from within your soul
Reach out for friends, for those around
Those who see through clearer eyes
The wonder of this person and what you mean to them
As others now can see the real and living me

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Anonymous Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 9:33am

Very moving. Especially liked the lines about friends seeing through clearer eyes.

Anne Marie Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 9:37am

Very well written. I like it a lot.
I am drinking a lot at the moment for various reasons. I think I drink so I cannot think!
Then I realise I am nothing but a thinker. It simply pauses my thoughts and makes me suffer the next day. Zombified is not a state I enjoy.
I'd rather suffer and feel.

The Entertrainer Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 9:46am

Good to share, Moodscope friends... I drink to stop thinking too. To decommission my inner critic, and to get some sleep... but as Anne Marie says, "Zombified is not a state I enjoy." As Katherine's beautiful poem promises: there is a better way.
Thank you Katherine

Anonymous Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 11:47am

I found this touching and timely. Constantly re-evaluating my own relationship with drink. Perhaps I'd add that the reaching out is so crucial and so much harder to do than reach for the wine (whine?) when feeling low. But it's also great to have friends who can join you for a drink or three when that feels like the way to go. Possibly.
: )

Julia Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 12:44pm

Dear Katherine. I am very rushed today with lots of things going on. Am rushing off somewhere as I write (if you know what I mean!)
I loved your poem; brave girl. Yes I have drank too much in the past and at the time, never thought I could go for one day without a drink; I was not an alcoholic and only had one or two drinks most evenings but had to have them. On occasions however I drank far more than I should have (too numerous to mention). Now I can go for days without even thinking about alcohol. This fact still surprises me.As I have said before about another issue on this site, if I can do it, anyone can. You will be fine Katherine. Just carry on writing and expressing yourself in this lovely way. You'll get there.

Julia Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 12:46pm

I see Katherine you have stopped drinking. I AM in a rush!

Anonymous Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 1:19pm

The timing of this poem was cathartic for me. I just went through another experience where my binge drinking lead to another cycle of self-deprecation, regret and major embarrassment. I was looking for a sign something that would give me a push in the direction I know I need to go. I am scared I will fail, this is what has kept me from stopping.

Anonymous Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 2:20pm

I am very emotional centred by your speech Katherine. I did too turn to cigareettes and booze to turn all the emotional rubbish that people unloaded unto me. Yes I am a woman and yes that is sex. Just how hard is it for them to understand. A baby needs its mother as the mother needs the baby.

Julia Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 2:52pm

Are you more hopeful now Anonymous and feeling better? I do hope so. When you feel like it, you could tell us more if you would like to. I do hope the people who were not treating you properly now show you the respect you clearly deserve and your life is improving....

Anonymous Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 8:31pm

A beautiful poem Katherine well done you

Anonymous Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 8:57pm

Good poem, speaks to me. Alcohol is such a depressant but it's so difficult to see that when you're up to your eyes in it. I stopped for three months when I signed up with this lot: Hello Sunday Morning. Got a lot of support and motivation there.
Kind of kept going though! (Been about 19 months now.) I decided, this time, it was a chance to get a life; it wasn't going to be a punishment if I didn't think of it like that.
-- kornage

Rich Tue, Nov 12th 2013 @ 10:02pm

Nice! Lovely words. I wish I was as eloquent! Giving up alcohol (30 months now!) didn't make my depression disappear but life has been so, so much better and easier to deal with since I kicked away the crutch of drink. I'm told it made me a nicer person too (by people who would really know!)
Thank you

Winston Fri, Nov 15th 2013 @ 10:43am

Very well done Katherine. You have encouraged me to share a poem I wrote in Feb 2010 when I was almost 2 months abstinent from alcohol ( Mr A as I refer to it now !). I wrote it to help me and I really hope sharing it here will also help others, just as your poem is doing. Before I post it could I say to everyone either trying to stop drinking or in the early stages of abstinence, BELIEVE IN THE UNBELIEVABLE. I can personally vouch for this as a recovering alcoholic almost 4 years abstinent ( it will take me into my FIFTH year which is a little tip if you count the weeks or months.....1 month dry means you are in your SECOND month...sounds better and more encouraging). Oh, one more very good tip given to me. if anyone asks you how long you are off drink, it is much better to reply " I don't drink anymore". Repeat it to yourself now and feel the difference it makes! The best tip of all? LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Believe in the unbelievable and you will soon build up weeks, months and , as I have done unbelievably, years.

As another post commented, stopping drinking doesn't guarantee depression disappears but it will be more manageable (Moodscope is a great tool). Anyway, I shall type in my poem (I'm not in competition with you Katherine lol) in a separate blog. Hope it helps.

Take care of yourselves everyone

Winston Fri, Nov 15th 2013 @ 10:53am

As promised, my poem entitled ONE.

Just one.
That's what one drink is.
One spirit, one beer, one cocktail,
You can have them all in one session.
Just one.
A mix of spirits in one glass, is still
Just one.
One in the morning, one in the afternoon, one in the evening,
All adds up to one day of one week.
Just one.
One can be a whole lot more than one and still be one.
Just one.

One letter can change all that.
Just one.
Choose to use the letter 'N'
'ONE' becomes 'NONE'

'NONE' can't be anything but that.
'ONE' can be anything it wants to be.

Julia Fri, Nov 15th 2013 @ 2:30pm

I have just read this Winston plus your other post.What a wonderful poem and post. I do hope lots of other Moodscopers also see it. If you like, I can post on today's blog page and tell everyone to take a look? It would be sad if your poem wasn't read by all of us. Also sad if other moodscopers missed out on your mantra BELIEVE IN THE UNBELIEVABLE. Actually I would never have believed myself I could go for one day without alcohol and not even think about it and I wasn't an alcoholic (I don't think!). Thank goodness I happened to take another look at some of the previous blogs and came across yours.

Winston Sat, Nov 16th 2013 @ 10:10am

Thanks Julia for that. I would be honoured inwardly if my words helped and inspired others. I'm a 'background' person so yesterday was my first blog ever! I'm 53 and only beginning to waken up! I use another little 'mantra' I borrowed from Tescos. "Every little bit helps". It is difficult to have 'going' days for me but 5 minutes lifting leaves or hoovering just one room can give a depressed person a lift just by acknowledging this minor (?) task. Just trying to do 5 minutes often leads on to 20 minutes , half an hour or more! "Every little bit helps!"

R Burns Wed, Nov 27th 2013 @ 12:31am

What if you have no friends, the only eyes I have are my own and are becomeing more blurred as the weeks pass

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