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26

August


Acceptance. Tuesday August 26, 2014

The same day I learnt in counselling that I 'might' be depressed I was also encouraged to look at Moodscope. I was shocked at my scores. I had no idea that my mood was so low, probably because it had been for a very long time and to me it had become normality.

I cried some more, lots more of course and realised that there was no point seeking help if I was going to ignore their professional judgement. This spurred me on to go to the doctors and of course I came out with a prescription for anti-depressants. I have been on the medication for 4 months now and attending weekly counselling sessions.

I regularly track my moodscope score and can see I have come a long way. A low day now would have been a really good day for me 3 months ago! I believe that the combination of counselling and medication is working for me. I needed the latter in order to relieve the tears, the guilt, the crippling sadness. This in turn has enabled me to engage with the therapeutic process.

I have a long way to go in healing myself, I still have low days but I am learning to be kinder to myself, I am learning to try and show myself some compassion. I am building up a toolkit of strategies to help myself through this difficult time. One of the biggest achievements I have made is recognising that it is ok to seek help and support, it's a strength and not a weakness.

Rosie
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

Mary Blackhurst Hill Tue, Aug 26th 2014 @ 7:59am

Wishing you all the best on your journey of recovery. Seeking help is a strength indeed and you will find a wealth of support and strategies here. I've dipped again this morning, and thank you for reminding me that this is just a low score in a good time and that a few months ago this would have been an incredibly high score.

Steve M Nash Tue, Aug 26th 2014 @ 11:34am

Rosie, what if you didn't have a long way to go? What if the ups and downs of your mood were as natural as the in and out of the tides, the rise and fall of the sun, the coming and going of the seasons? What if everything is as it's meant to be? What, then?

I'm sure your low moods are unpleasant (as are mine). But when you are able to accept your low moods, don't make them wrong, then life - miraculously! - starts to feel sweeter, it really does.

Thank you for sharing so openly here, and I wish you well!
Steve

Anonymous Wed, Aug 27th 2014 @ 9:04am

I've had trouble posting for a few days...Mark's post and Huw's I very much wanted to reply to, however, I see much discussion came of Mark's and that is good. Keep posting.

Rosie, I agree with Steve above...I have felt a little better lately (first time in well over a year, perhaps 2...). It's chicken and egg but accepting the ebb and flow is working wonders for me some days. I'm harvesting on the good days and have a hibernation pack for the dodgy ones. A few blogs back there was a post about recognising our bad thoughts and then letting them float away (was it Les?). It involved some fabulous yellow bath ducks which game me a strong visual and really has worked for me. I recommend scrolling back for it as it is a very useful life technique.

I had a problem getting here to post from the email link and had to come in the long way. Maybe others did too...

Hello everyone.
Love from the room above the garage.

Lex McKee Wed, Aug 27th 2014 @ 10:08am

I love the old-fashioned word, "Lovingkindness". When you said about showing yourself some compassion and being kinder to yourself, that really resonated, Rosie.
I wonder how we could be lovingly kind to ourselves today?
Your blog was an act of loving kindness to others...

Pedro Peixoto Barros Pereira de Matos Wed, Aug 27th 2014 @ 10:11am

thank you for your winsdow word''s

Petal Wed, Aug 27th 2014 @ 11:01am

Hi Rosie,
Yes your post brought me hope this morning having woken up feeling very low. Thank you! Do you mind me asking which anti depressant you were prescribed as nothing has helped my tearfulness and whether you had to pay for weekly counselling having seen your gp? Love and smiles Petal

Richard Harrison Wed, Aug 27th 2014 @ 12:21pm

Dear Rosie Future,
Good luck on your journey to wellness.
Love, Rich x

Silvia A Thu, Aug 28th 2014 @ 12:40am

Can I copy your words to Rosie?

Charles Thu, Aug 28th 2014 @ 4:24pm

Sorry about your illness. I believe that acceptance is the first step to recover from any illness. Thank you for sharing your experience

Anonymous Wed, Sep 3rd 2014 @ 10:16pm

Of course you can!

Anonymous Wed, Sep 3rd 2014 @ 10:22pm

Really sorry for the late reply. I am Citalopram, it took about 6 weeks to take effect. I pay for private counselling sessions, the GP did offer but I'd already started and didn't want to change. I definitely needed the combination of counselling and medication. I know that finding the right medication can be tricky and that it can a long period to get into the system and to get the dosage right. I would definitely visit your GP to discuss. I don't know what you have tried already but don't give up, go back and talk to them. I hope you find something that works to help you soon xx

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