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A sufferer's night. Saturday July 4, 2015

I don't really know if this will help anyone, it's just a poem I wrote. Sometimes I find writing poetry to be very rewarding, even in the strangest of ways. It helps me rationalise my thoughts, and in some way bring me back to reality a bit. It's all too easy to get locked up in your own head, so maybe writing some dark poetry will lift you out. It did me once I'd read back what I'd written. It's a little incoherent, but hey... it's rhyming poetry :).

Thanks everyone, and many thanks to Moodscope.

A sufferer's night.

As time shifts and exposes rifts
As the hour's shower of minutes lifts
As the emotion, feeling and anxiety collapse
There is nothing but an empty, breaking expanse.

As the numbness sets in and quick
As paralysis breaks you in to it
As you become catatonic and your eyes roll back
Embrace the silence, lay back, relax

As the moments last forever and ever
As you experience the realm of an endless nether
As it engulfs you, your thoughts and your dreams
It's a marvel, a wonderful, place to be.


As reality shatters and the clock laughs back
As the seconds drift and ticks elapse
As you wake from this beauty, breathless and black
The world awaits you, plotting it's next attack

As the numbness fades and pain sets in
As tears well with the teeth gritting
As the emotion, feeling and anxiety return
There is one thing I want, this pain must burn

As my only escape, my leaving gift
As my last encore and bow to lift
As if I must die I indeed must live
Oh, please forgive me, I have nothing left to give...

All the very best to those who are out there feeling the brutality that is depression. It will fade, especially with the help of the Moodscope team.


A Moodscope member.

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Sarah M Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 6:35am

Hi Shaun - I'm liovung your choice of words - they really convey that sense of other worldliness that sets in. Brilliant. Thank you S x

Anonymous Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 6:40am

Wow. I found this really powerful. It is a truly evocative piece. Thank you for sharing.


Sophbrad Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 7:47am

Very good. Thank you. Reminds me of this from Swann's Way:
"I would lay my cheeks gently against the comfortable cheeks of my pillow, as plump and blooming as the cheeks of babyhood. Or I would strike a match to look at my watch. Nearly midnight. The hour when an invalid, who has been obliged to start on a journey and to sleep in a strange hotel, awakens in a moment of illness and sees with glad relief a streak of daylight shewing under his bedroom door. Oh, joy of joys! it is morning. The servants will be about in a minute: he can ring, and some one will come to look after him. The thought of being made comfortable gives him strength to endure his pain. He is certain he heard footsteps: they come nearer, and then die away. The ray of light beneath his door is extinguished. It is midnight; some one has turned out the gas; the last servant has gone to bed, and he must lie all night in agony with no one to bring him any help."
I like to read the overture from Swann's Way when I cannot sleep because, like your poem, it's about falling asleep. Sophie x

Julia Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 8:56am

Thank you for reminding me of Swann's Way. I knew I recognised the title. It's a book `I have but not read. I just looked at the overture and it's wonderful. I have difficulty falling asleep and will read this. Thank you Sophie.

Julia Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 9:00am

Good Morning Shaun. When I read your observation that writing poetry somehow brings you back to reality, I imagined myself writing a poem and immediately I could see why this would happen. I may try. I really loved your poem. Yes! the clock laughs back at me most nights! More poetry please.

Leah Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 10:35am

Thanks so much for sharing your poem. Your choice of words and atmosphere creates a very emotional and moving poem. Well done and hope it helped you as well. I used to call my poems my emotional diary . Thanks again leah

Anonymous Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 11:44am

Beautiful Shaun, thank-you for sharing.
And Julia is right, more please!

Anonymous Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 1:27pm

Hi Shaun, after your moving poem, reading the words 'the brutality that is depression' almost finished me off. Thank you for this. You are not alone..... susan

Anonymous Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 1:51pm

To Suzy, from yesterday' blog....the most excellent shop with FIVE floors of fabric is Marché St. Pierre, in Montmatre...the third floor had the most amazing beautiful fabrics. Floors four and five were for locals buying stuff to be made there, if I remember correctly. Floors one to three were the best, one and two being the cheapest! The street outside is full of fabric shops with many sales on! Karen x. I'll go with you if you want to go!!!

Shaun...humble apologies for hijacking your blog today but wanted to make sure Suzy got the reply today. Karen x

Anonymous Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 8:54pm

Hi Karen
You could always send Suzy a message via Caroline ...

Sophbrad Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 11:09pm

I'm glad I mentioned it. :)

Anonymous Sat, Jul 4th 2015 @ 11:13pm

yes depression it's a brutality and i hope it lifts for everyone. as for sleep it can be the only escape and sometimes can bring transformation...sometimes going to sleep crying you can awaken in a calmer serene state so different to the night before..unfortunately sometimes the tears are also there to greet you in the morning. thank you for your poem. my love and sympathy goes out to all of us that suffer so.

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