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A question of balance. Tuesday May 3, 2016

A few weeks ago while I was going on my daily walk in the bush, I tripped on a rock and fell on the dirt, scraping my hand, knee and leg. After I had cleaned my wounds, I thought how little it takes to make one lose one's balance. Whether one is walking or in life, maintaining a balance can be tricky.

Most of my life I have tried to maintain my balance but sometimes like when I fell over, I need to look at what caused me to lose my balance. This time, I was not looking where I was going but was looking at my watch. Something very simple that can be remedied easily. Sometimes it can just mean having breakfast, or remembering to have a walk, or even to call a friend. Once these things have been done, I am usually fine. That is easily done.

The hard part is when one finds oneself out of kilter, off balance, but cannot find a simple reason. I go through my check list - enough sleep, enough exercise, eating well, writing each day, but somehow I am still very tired or more irritable or impatient that usual. Sometimes it can be something very small that is enough to upset things. Wouldn't it be simple if it was just a matter of looking out for a little rock or a misplaced twig but in life simple things are sometimes harder to spot.

So can you identify a small stone or twig that may have tripped you recently and caused you to lose your balance?

What did you do to restore your balance. Did it work?

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Helen Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 7:00am

Oh I so empathise with this. Am feeling it today. Thought I was on a fairly even keel and for some reason my dreams are disturbed and full off stress again, leaving me exhausted all the time. I can't identify one particular thing causing it apart from the one part of my life I hate, being alone, which is a constant standing on jelly feeling. I have a lot of good things going on in my life so can put on a happy face most of the time but even small twigs in the path completely throw me off balance these days.

Sally Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 8:26am

So sorry to hear this , Helen. I think being alone is awful. Could you seek even a housemate to alleviate that alone feeling? Just a thought. I too hated being alone when I was...

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:00am

Helen, Thanks for taking time to share your comments even when you are not feeling the best. I can relate to dreams that exhaust me, I have that most nights! I hope those small twigs kep out of your way.

Helen Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 6:32am

Thanks Sally. I have thought of a housemate but it might cause more problems. And I don't give up hope of finding someone even though I am so old now

Helen Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 6:35am

Hi Leah there are always small twigs, I suppose it's the quantity of twigs that's the problem, or maybe the size of them but thanks for your reply.

Leah Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 10:09am

Helen I agree there are always small twigs and at times lots of them. I suppose being aware of them is the first step. Thanks again.

Hopeful One Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 7:30am

Hi Leah- thanks for highlighting this aspect of our lives and the way our mind manages them. There is of course the idea that if anything is going to go wrong it will. So one way to cope with those twigs stumbles or something worse I like to remember this fact and minimise the chance that it will happen. For bigger events with bigger outcomes I have what I call 'The kite'. This happened when I was 7 or so. We had invested a lot of time to make this kite which we intended to fly that evening. I remember the excitement and how I could not keep my attention at class. We raced home and got the kite out to fly. Everything was set fair but as soon as the kite was launched something snapped and it crashed to the ground. I have always remembered that sense of disappointment and resolved that I would always keep space for "The Kite". Since then ,over the decades,the memory this episode has stopped me getting to enthusiastic and equally to deal with any disappointments.

Our laugh for today is right here, but I will leave space for "The Kite" if it flops.

Bob, a 70 year old , extremely wealthy widower , shows up at his Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25 year old blonde haired lady . She knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm as she hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word .His buddies at the club can't believe it.. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you manage to get that girl friend?” Bob replies , “Girlfriend ? She's my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask : “So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age,” Bob replies. “What? Did you tell her you were only 50?”.Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”

Lou Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 8:44am

Chuckle achieved, thanks HO! :)

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:02am

Hopeful One, I like the story about the kite. People used to say expect the worst hope for the best

Garry Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 11:00am

thanks for making me smile

Lexi Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:18pm

HO that made me laugh out loud. thank you. I needed that today.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:52pm

Hopeful one, Garry, Lexi Lou, Sally et al I think smiling and laughing always helps me when I get off balance especially when I take myself too seriously.

Hopeful One Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 5:27pm

Hi Guys- your comments most appreciated. " Laugh whenever you can. It's cheap medicine "Lord Byron

Leah Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 10:10am

Hopeful One, I thought Lord Byron did a lot more than laughing for his fun!!

Sally Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 8:32am

Nice joke, HO, I liked it very much! Thank you!
And for The Kite story... Useful ...

Hopeful One Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 8:58am

Hi Sally - that joke came to my mind as I had just come across the picture of a newspaper proprietor recently in the news.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:03am

Hopeful One, I was going to guess 70 not 90!!

Sally Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 8:34am

Leah, your walk in the bush, and stumble , will stay with me, as a metaphor, and I like your suggestions for reviewing what went wrong / made the trip happen...such a good visual analogy.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:05am

Thanks Sally, I am usually not very good at descriptive language so thanks for your comments.

LillyPet Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 9:16am

Hi Leah,
I can really relate to your blog. It's often been the things that seem small to others That have thrown me off balance.
Perfect timing as like Helen I've woken up just not feeling right today. I've had a headache since 5 am which I cant seem to shift.
I could put it down to a couple of things, but those havent changes for several weeks and I 've been ok!
My body is probably just telling me that I need to look after myself more.
Thank you Leah! LP :) xx

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:06am

Lillypet, Must be one of those mornings I woke up at 4.30am. Thanks for your comments and hope you listen to your body and it helps you.

Skyblue Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 9:41am

Unless something really obvious has happened in our life, it's usually impossible to know why we wake up some mornings feeling well and other mornings feeling like death warmed up. I've often asked people about this and noone has a definite answer. Is it all because of the mind we're in? Is it the weather? The food we had the day before? That dream? Because of this, I set my alarm for half an hour before I need to get out of bed and spend it in mindfulness of some sort. Unless I'm in a depression pit, this usually balances me pretty well. Thanks, Leah. I love how your mind works (even if you can't sing:)). xx

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:08am

Skyblue, You made me smile re the singing comment!! You seemed to have found the answer with the mindfulness. I keep trying that but so far I am still trying!!Thanks for your interesting thoughts.

Skyblue Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 11:13am

Leah, the 'mindfulness' can take many forms depending on the day. Sometimes I do acupressure massage, or read an article from the internet (and always Moodscope),sometimes I meditate a little -- whatever gets me out of my own way. I don't have a specific routine. xx

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 11:20am

Do you do acupressure massage on yourself? Sounds very difficult. I think you have a flexible plan and it works for you. That is so important and such a useful lesson.

Skyblue Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 11:48am

I do the points all over the face and neck and some in the hands. Very relaxing and not difficult at all. xx

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:40pm

Sounds fascinating did you have lessons or did you teach yourself or learn from books.

Skyblue Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:45pm Very relaxing -- your whole upper body tingles with energy afterwards. Gets things moving! xx

Mary Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:53pm

Great idea Skyblue! Although I would always end up reading!

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:41pm

Skyblue, you say relxing I think pain and awkwardness!!

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:50pm

Mary Skyblue mentioned reading was one of her options as well- maybe you could read while doing the massage!!

Skyblue Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 2:50pm

Aside from the relaxation and energizing effects, the technique brings testimonials of making you look 10 years younger (read: healthier) if you do it daily for a month. Perhaps an incentive to massage while reading?

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 3:45pm

Maybe you could write a blog about it- sounds intriguing.

danielle Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:00pm

great timing Leah, like Lilypet and Helen today I feel a bit iffy. I have been getting my highest scores of all time recently up in 70s. Today I am noticing the tiny things and they are pushing me down like a heavy rock on top of me. I would like a nest to curl up into. I think for me sleep is a big one, but also too much going on and too much not knowing. Then (as many will know) everything escalates and I manage to see the negative or worry about everything and anything! Im currently waiting for a quote for my two new bathrooms and worrying about it - how ridiculous - I should be happy that I have my own home, I can afford to have the bathrooms done nicely, I should NOT be worrying - try telling my brain that! Hope other moodscopers are havibg a good day xxx

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:39pm

Danielle, You are aware of what is going on in your life which is a good starting point.

Otir Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:38pm

Nice blog post, Leah, thank you for writing a nice metaphor about the unbalanced chemistry that we all face at times - more or less pronounced depending on the affliction and the circumstances!

I would rather work on identifying how I can stay centered and grounded at all times than to figure out what I missed when I did not spot the pebble or the rock or the branch that made me trip and fall down.

It happens in such a split second that I am tempted to say that what causes me to lose my balance is distraction, always distraction: the only remedy in my case is to breathe in, breathe out and remember that I can be fully conscious of that breathing, the gift of life that can be only understood right here and now.

Wishing you all the best with love!

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:43pm

Otir, I think staying centred and grounded is what I achieve my watching out for the twigs and stones. Thanks for your contribution to the discussion.

Mary Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 12:55pm

When down, those twigs seem like mighty oaks fallen in our path. When up we barely notice them. Having just bobbed up again from a very down place, I can really appreciate this.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:42pm

Mary, so true so true.

Lexi Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:29pm

Thanks for the timely post Leah. I recently tripped over logs and fell into a deep pit. I spent the past few days crying feeling sorry for myself - how could i be so stupid to fall into this hole, why didn't I see it coming, etc etc. but today I feel I have some strength and have decided to figure out a way out. I am still sad and angry about being in the hole - did I put myself here on purpose? Did someone leave this hole for me to fall into? - but I 've decided it's time to climb out. The hole isn't the problem - for me it it's deciding how to get out of it. I hope I can make progress today and restore my balance as well.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:43pm

Lexi, Thanks for writing such an honest post especially when you feel low.

Lexi Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:29pm

Thanks for the timely post Leah. I recently tripped over logs and fell into a deep pit. I spent the past few days crying feeling sorry for myself - how could i be so stupid to fall into this hole, why didn't I see it coming, etc etc. but today I feel I have some strength and have decided to figure out a way out. I am still sad and angry about being in the hole - did I put myself here on purpose? Did someone leave this hole for me to fall into? - but I 've decided it's time to climb out. The hole isn't the problem - for me it it's deciding how to get out of it. I hope I can make progress today and restore my balance as well.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:44pm

Lexi, I am glad you are asking questions. I hope that helps. Let us know how you are going.

The Gardener Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:31pm

Balance of mind - woke horrendously depressed and distressed - future grim literally - Mr G can't bear to be away from me - but insistes rooms overheated and living virtually in the light - my whole choice of light 'blind' him, and sunshine has to be kept out at all costs - obsession - he won't turn away from the window, wants the blinds shut. The choice is living in a virtual prison, a major row, or moving elsewere in the house and being yelled for. Anyway.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 3:44pm

Gardener, I suppose every day you have to achieve a balance for your sanity. All the best.

The Gardener Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:35pm

Respite day - I took a strong hold and looked at what I was good at, and went for it. Really interesting shop window - bedroom admired by one of the nuns for my 'taste' so found som arum lilies to add to the pure, uncluttered look. Now have to literally balance things, and myself, to persuade them to stand up without any props, like the balinese umbrellas.. So I have achieved and this has to be clung to. but accepting that I cannon enjoy the simplest pleasures without conflict is difficult.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:46pm

Gardener, Glad you had a plan for your respite day. I would love to see a picture of your shop window- they sound amazing. Thanks for replying.

The Gardener Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:38pm

Correction, light means dark. Eye surgeon says Mr G has got it all wrong - fussing unnecessary - he's convinced he's right - in bitter moments say always been like that - semblance of truth, brother and mother the same - even to actual disdain of those not of their view.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 1:48pm

Gardener, I suppose if someone believes what they say is the truth it is sometimes pointless to disagree. Is that how you cope?

Anonymous Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 5:08pm

Hi Leah. I loved your comment above to Gardener about it being pointless to disagree with someone who believes what they say is the truth. It's often easier to do this than argue until you are blue in the face. But by not disagreeing are we not reinforcing their view that they are always right? Who knows! Your blog today was clever. Using the metaphor of falling over and not finding the right balance was cool. I have never had balance in my life sadly. I am not drawn to balance and am always weighing up situations and saying to myself .. "I shall continue (or not continue) with this situation as there are more positives than negatives ON BALANCE. Sometimes the scales are almost level but slightly tipping in one direction. I am not always right though and have failed to notice when the scales tip too far down. Skyblue, I love your comment about how we sometimes feel like death warmed up some mornings and we don't know why. I will never know why! Jul xxx

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:53pm

Jul, I like the way you can pinpoint the essence of other's comments, that is a real skill. I think it depends on the situation about whether it is pointless to disgaree. I found when my mother had dementia it was pointless to disagree or argue as 5 minutes later she would have forgotten the discussion anyway.Plus sometimes there is not a 'right' or a 'truth' just two different points of view even though both may claim the truth! I don't think I have had balance either but I continue to try to get it. I like the way you weigh(pun unintended) up the situation to see if there are more positives than negatives, Once again thanks for your contribution.

Helen Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 6:42am

I was married to an abusive man. His need to be right and control not only what he thought but what I thought overpowered all common sense. To argue only meant he picked up his levels of verbal cruelty

Leah Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 6:50am

Helen, That is must have been so hard to endure. You have explained so well why arguing can be detrimental to one's health. So sorry you had to suffer this.Leah

The Gardener Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 6:16pm

Interesting observations about arguing the toss. What really got me was that my b-in-law talked 'down' to me because I had not read certain books, then told people that I was one of the cleverest women he knew! Then my ma, who did not have a good word to say to me for the last few years of her life, and hated 'abroad' would, when I'd gone, talk to people about 'my daughter who lives in France' 'my daughter who writes'. And the staff at her care home read my faxes over and over again. why cab't we be nice to people to their faces, and agree to disagree amicably?

the room above the garage Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 9:48pm

I'm sending you love tonight and a warm hug. I feel you may not receive many so consider tonight's mine. Love ratg X.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:56pm

Gardener, I always smile when I see your name even though sometimes I am sad when hear about what you are coping with but your comments always give me something to think about or I learn something new. I agree, "why can't we be nice to people to their faces and agree to disagree amicably?" Though I find it worse when people are sweet to your face then are negative behind your back! Take care, hugs from across the seas.x Leah

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 10:58pm

the room above the garage, That was so sweet what you wrote to Gardnener. I am guessing you could use a hug too, I think we all can, sending a big hug from down under, Leah xx

the room above the garage Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 9:47pm

Hello Leah, thank you so much for are like a strong, steady, reassuring hand in this and it makes me feel great. I'm off balance and I know is stress. It's a hard one to address (like all?!) so I know I need to work on being comfortable within the discomfort. It's possible and I can. I adore the thought of your 'daily walk in the bush', wonderful imagery I have. Love ratg xx.

Leah Tue, May 3rd 2016 @ 11:02pm

Ratg, Thanks for your kind words.I suppose stress is a word that covers so many emotions and events, that i sometimes try to narrow it doen to one little thing I can deal with. This does not always work. It is funny that so many people have commented on my daily walk in the bush, which I will even appreciate more and never take it for granted. One some days it is a very small walk.

Kathy Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 8:54am

Thanks Leah for posting; I have recently fallen into a hole, of my own making, I didn't expect to stay in it as long as I have, stuck in quicksand, and treacle, the more I struggle to escape the more desperate I become; for those of you out there like me with no one to talk to, writing really helps; I don't know how or why, but just getting it all out on the page, a bit like throwing up when you've had too much to drink, brings relief, slowly I am starting to see through the murky depths of my mind and rise above the parapet of madness again. Almost ready to start living again. Good luck everybody, keep fighting the good fight.

Leah Wed, May 4th 2016 @ 10:06am

Thanks for your reply. I suppose writing about one's problems is like purging for the soul. I am glad it works for you and I look forward to reading more of your writing. take care,

Ruth Thu, May 5th 2016 @ 1:32pm

Your analogy is brilliant!!
That's me all over,tripping over. The twigs that get in your way.
Thank you for this I totally get it and you too!!
Keep smiling Hun:-))

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