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A Healing Crisis - Part 1 Saturday June 21, 2014

As a daily Moodscope blog reader I have gained much insight into the highs and lows of living with depression. I, myself do not have depression, but suffer from low moods and a bad temper. But reading the blogs has allowed me to understand depression and look at it from a different angle. There is a history of depression in my family, my mother and my sister both continue to live with it daily.

My story begins a little differently and starts with me finally reaching the end of a devastating divorce that has left me emotionally and physically exhausted. With my Fiftieth Birthday approaching I celebrated this new chapter in my life with a long weekend away with my daughters. On my return I threw a drinks party and danced the night away with my supportive family and friends and then also took the decision to put myself on to an online dating website to boost my confidence and get 'back out there and have some fun'!

Feedback from the site was great, comments like "Gorgeous Smile" and 'Fab Profile – would like to know more" were common. Just little comments like this could make my day and made me realise that there was life after divorce. The sadness and the melancholy feeling that I had carried for the past three years soon started to dissipate. How ironic that the one comment that was to pick me up "Gorgeous Smile", was also the one comment that would soon lead to me sinking quickly into another bout of low mood and possibly even depression.

It started on a Wednesday, an aching in my neck and back of my head, quite different from the migraines I had been plagued with. The pain in my ear was intense and although I managed to get through the day I started to worry as I fell asleep that this pain was not normal. I awoke the next morning still in pain and unable to sleep so took myself off for a walk. On my return I felt unwell and noticed the taste had gone in my mouth and face was feeling numb. My daughter thought I was having a stroke and I was rushed to A&E. Later that day I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy. By Sunday the facial paralysis had completely set in and my smile had literally been wiped off my face. This condition is different in every sufferer, it can take weeks, months or even years for the facial nerve that has been affected to repair.

I went to have some acupuncture yesterday; it's meant to be very good for Bells sufferers. My therapist talked at length with me and as she was leaving said "this too will pass, it is your healing crisis, when you get through this, you will be liberated". Kind words from a stranger that I will cling to and hope that I have the strength to do this.

A Moodscope user.

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heather Sat, Jun 21st 2014 @ 8:59am

JULIE ! I am quite overcome with emotion after reading what has happened to you. Started off feeling so happy for you and then !!

I feel for you in the pit of my stomach and the only thing I can tell you is that I have recently visited a wonderful acupuncturist twice. It is the first time I have tried acupuncture and although it is very expensive, I will keep up the course and go for the
"MOTs" as I have found the results quite magical. Keep believing! With lots of love, Heather x

Hazel Todhunter Sat, Jun 21st 2014 @ 9:04am

dear Julie,
I've been using acupuncture for the past year for a different condition and find it helps my mood as well as the condition it's treating. Wishing you healing after the crisis.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 21st 2014 @ 10:57am

A healing crisis may well be the best of crisis. Good to recognise that is what is going on. I've experienced a few myself as well as divorce and a move to a new country, new home etc. And yes I do feel grateful now for the hardships as I feel they helped me on my way and I feel liberated in my new situation. I've reached a new level in my life. I'm looking forward to a new man and a new job and great times ahead with the children and friends.

And I look forward to your next texts. Keep going. You are definitely on your way. Lots of love,

Anonymous Sat, Jun 21st 2014 @ 11:54am

Julie, i had the same reaction to your post as Heather did. Life can suddenly present such great challenges. But the body knows how to heal itself. Never ever stop believing that it will happen. Ask for help on a deep level and it will the form of a practitioner or doctor, a blog or chat on the internet, a book, a simple exchange with a friend, or a sudden insight or inspiration from within. It is a process that is quite magical. No matter what my overall mood is, my moodscope score for 'Determined' is always 100% and i know it will lead me to healing places. You DO have the strength to deal with your challenge. And you will get there. You are already on your way to liberation. All the best. susan

Melanie Lowndes Sat, Jun 21st 2014 @ 6:55pm

Dear Julie, I found your blog so brave and moving. I really feel for you and wish you all the best - totally believe in our ability to heal. I love what Susan says above and can hardly add to it. Remember the "Guest House" blog of yesterday and be thankful for all the little good things in life - sunsets, lovely food, an inspiring read. Lots of love, Melanie

heather Sat, Jun 21st 2014 @ 8:00pm

Great post Susan which will help Julie a lot I am sure. Heather x

Anonymous Sat, Jun 21st 2014 @ 9:13pm

Oh Julie, how devastating for you. A lot of healing and something very difficult to understand. You need a great deal of compassion towards yourself but have a very good reason to be extremely angry too. I am not sure how this impacts on movement in general but as a though perhaps doing some boxing training would give you a focal point for anger as well as increasing physical strength, whilst giving you body a chance to heal. Any training like that would work even Zumba if you enjoy it. Age and fitness are irrelevant you start at the level you are now and move forward with your fitness and your recover. They become one. Just a though. You have a lot of support here.

Dande Lion Sun, Jun 22nd 2014 @ 11:39am

dear julie, i do feel for you. what a bitter sweet irony. i couldn't help noticing the connection between the comment that caught your attention about a great smile and the physical ailment you are experiencing which 'wiped the smile off your face'. My intuition tells me to encourage you to meditate on your beliefs about how much you deserve to be happy. there is a lot of theory & evidence emerging now about how we deeply unconciously manifest all disease from deeply held beliefs and thought patterns. lots of books on metaphysics, i can recommend if you want to pm me. i often find it helpful to look at the correlations rather than write things off as co-incidence. i think the mind-body continum is an incredible and miraculous thing and its great you are embracing energy healing like accupuncture which has been amazing for me at times. i liked all that susan said too. wishing you love, peace and happiness. x

restoration729 Tue, Jun 24th 2014 @ 9:04pm

So sorry to hear about your illness. My sister had Bells and it lasted for a few months (after the birth of her daughter). The good thing is that it will go away! Praying for your continued healing and liberation! I too agree with Dande Lion. Definitely a connection going on in your mind...Also, acupuncture helped save my life when I had a blood vessel burst in my head. Six months of numbness and tingling on the left side of my body and the only thing that made it stop was acupuncture until it went away for good.

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