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A Day at a Time. Thursday August 3, 2017

I find myself in a situation I thought I'd never be in. Living alone having left my husband of 20 years. I moved out of the family home last year and only now really finding my feet.

For most of my marriage I was depressed, triggered by the sudden death of my father 2 years in. Panic, anxiety and depression all set in soon after, I was worried about myself.

After numerous good and bad phases, in and out of jobs and looking after my family best I could, it finally hit me that I should never have married the person I did. I saw various doctors, counsellors, psychiatrists over the years who all had the same opinion - I needed out of my marriage. My husband made my decision easy in the end, I couldn't take any more criticism, put downs, no support. His drinking was out of control and behaviour, well say no more... I figured it's him or me and I chose me!!

So I'm going it alone. I rent a flat, have a job I enjoy and have been in for a year now. It's been far from easy so depression is still lingering but I'm dealing with that and I'm starting to actually feel some happiness. Something I've not felt in a long time. So much so, that I have booked a holiday on my own for a week. I'm a bit nervous must say, but I seem to enjoy being by myself for now - I've found that I love peace and quiet but also have the ability to meet people and make new friends - something my husband always said I was incapable of.

I don't think that I'll be on my own for ever but for now it's what I want and need. It feels strange putting myself first now but it's definitely something I'm getting used to.

It's not been an easy road and it's far from over but I'm getting there a day at a time.

Take care,

El x
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Molly Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 2:23am

Well done El, this is great. Being on your own can really bring out a different feeling as you do not have to worry about anyone else. Personally I miss that feeling of being free. You made a difficult decision but you chose what was right and did it, and you are now feeling the benefits. I know a lady who lost her husband and often takes holidays alone and she said that it is the best experience because you not only make new friends but you also have the freedom to say "I'm off to do this now" without any commitment or anyone to answer to! You might crave for companionship again one day but for now enjoy your freedom. Good luck El xx

michelle Sun, Aug 6th 2017 @ 8:57am

Good morning el What a lovely blog to read on a Sunday morning, when the sun is shining through the window. Good on you for having the strength and ability to realise life is not a rehearsal. This is life and can be enjoyed. I would like to send you a big cuddle to comfort you when requested. Cuddles are so important even if we are doing it ourselves. Good luck, not that you need it and enjoy every day you open your eyes and say " what will my inner strength do for me today ". Take care and enjoy LIFE xx

Eva Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 6:47am

Hi El, well done on taking control. I've not lived alone so I don't have any experience, in fact it's one of my future fears, (I'm trying to change that fear into a challenge when/if eventually the time comes) but I salute you for being brave, I hope you have a great holiday.

Orangeblossom Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 6:54am

Thanks for the inspiring blog El. Look forward to hearing about the next step on your journey. Taking a day at a time is all that we can do and it sounds as though you are taking on this challenge and enjoying the benefits.

Ach UK Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 7:36am

Well done El. It's certainly not easy regrouping and learning to cope with a new lifestyle, - it took me 27 years to realise I had to leave.
I am sitting here smiling at your words, so pleased you are growing in confidence and feeling enjoyment in your new life.

David Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 8:07am

ONE DAY AT A TIME is my mantra and the Bedrock of my life has been my wife of over 40 years named Rosita,

This lady has suffered with me in a ROLLER COASTER OF OUR LIVES in Health, Sickness and for Richer or Poorer and loved for ever more

If it was not for her I would be six foot under the ground and Bankrupt.

If you do find yourself alone I recommend joining Stich a matchmaking service by which I have made many friends around the World.

There ends the lesson from David for the day, I hope you find it useful.

Anne Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 10:02am

Hi El

What courage, confidence and self compassion - it sounds like a huge opportunity for you to find, meet and BE you

I hope you might share more as time passes and this new chapter grows

Anne x

Marian Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 10:06am

Very well done you! I was moved to reply to this particular post because of the similarities to my own situation. You've found phenomenal strength in yourself to make the move, and that's very hard when you're coming out of a situation where your life partner has eroded your view of yourself. But you've done it! Are you, like me, freeing yourself from habits you used to have to have (for an easy life, or to avoid confrontation)? Liberating, isn't it? Yep, and scary too, but you've got so many choices now. I hope things continue to improve for you, and that you fulfil your potential now.

Dolphin Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 10:30am

Good luck El! It sounds like you are tackling your life change realistically and optimistically. I'm going on holiday on my own in a few weeks'time... a bit nervous, but I have a kitchenette so can retreat if I feel overwhelmed by couples and families. It's quite liberating living alone and not having to justify yourself or explain or have to stand your ground all the time. For me, it's represented by the fact that I can choose to watch the TV I want without being disparaged or giving up to avoid an argument. I know it's superficial, but it represents what happens at more important levels. Go well xx

Geoff Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 10:58am

Dear El, your blog has many similarities to my own story. I was divorced last year - my wife couldn't cope with my depression and anxieties, and I couldn't find work. So, I moved into a flat within a retirement complex, so that I wouldn't feel so alone. The first 6 months were a real struggle, and I'd often burst into tears at various times throughout the day. However, sessions with a lovely counsellor, plus weekly group meetings with a mental health chairty, began to help . The big change, for me, was seeing the change in one of my friends following a hypnotherapy session. I knew how anxious she had been. I also knew how difficult it was for her to even get out of the house on her own. Now, she was positively beaming! I decided to see the same hypnotherapist and the results have been so much better than any medication that I've ever been on. It was as if all the rubish that I'd been carrying around in my mind for years, had been washed away. For the first time, in years, i could see clearly and began to retrain my subconcious. 7 months on, it's still an ongoing journey, but in that time I've only suffered one panic attack. I'm still not working, but my self esteem has begun to grow, as has my confidence. The old spark in my life is back, and I'm looking forward, instead of backwards. El, I hope that your journey will continue to improve, and that you, too, will begin to find yourself again.

the room above the garage Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 4:00pm

Inspirational stuff Geoff, great work on your part.

Lexi Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 11:32am

Dear El, your blog is so inspiring. I am on the cusp, having to make a major life decision soon. Your bravery is remarkable and your commitment to yourself is so lovely to read. What wonderful things are in store for you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. xo Lexi

Judy Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 11:36am

Good for you, Elx.How courageous. I don't expect it will be an easy ride but you have made and acted on one of the hardest decisions. Find yourself and celebrate that person. Enjoy that holiday. You may be surprised how many people can be kind, helpful and perceptive. Build up your sense of helps you to cope with all sorts of difficulties and interact with other people. Best wishes in your new life and the biggest hug ever....! ??

Valerie Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 1:28pm

Hi El,

To have achieved so much in one year,after 20 years in a bad marriage is pretty impressive.Years ago I had a couple of years alone,after divorce followed by immediate cohabiting,each lasting around 10 years.I put up with truly bad treatment rather than be alone.

Truly,no one could have been more scared than I was.I found it so much better than I ever imagined,and came to love my single state.If I am ever in that situation again,it does help to know I did it before,and survived.I also discovered a woman that I had never known,under all the fear and depression.

I can tell by your words that you are going to be just fine,please keep us all posted.

Lots of love and hugs,xx

Eleanor Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 2:06pm

Thank you all for your comments, they've helped me more than you will ever know. I'm here, on holiday alone. It's been strange not going to lie and hard at times but have enjoyed the peace and freedom. I've had many holidays ruined in the past. Few more days here then home. It's done me the world of good and so have all you Moodscopers - thank you xxx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 5:25pm

Happy Holidays El! It's amazing to think that you are right there, right now! :-) MG xx

Molly Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 6:32pm

What great timing for your blog to be on whilst on holiday El, you say that the comments have helped so I hope they also have given you strength and support to enjoy your last few days. So admirable to be able to holiday alone. Sending love to you, Molly xx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 2:48pm

Hi El! I wish you every happiness in your new life - don't forget that you DO deserve happiness (old habits can die hard and I'm sure your ex trained you not to expect any happiness so you might feel guilty about it now!) I lived with my ex for 14 years (plus there were two more years after leaving during which time I tried to release myself from his chains). I left in 2011; I broke the chains in 2013; the scars and fallout I struggle with daily (but presumably not forever!)

You say "looking after my family" - do you mean your children? Are they grown up, if you are now living alone? I have two children, which so far has made a link that I don't want with my ex, but for now that is unavoidable...

Anyway, like you, I also figured it's him or me and chose me (after well over a decade of being dragged down and down - I reckon they are trying to make you too weak to leave). A deciding factor was also the realisation that he was never going to change. Unfortunately that wasn't the end of it (he sold our family home in 2012 and I still haven't received a penny for it). The Courts told him to sell business premises to pay me back some of the money from selling the house - he didn't; he made the property structurally unsound and therefore unsellable! When I met someone else (two years after leaving him) he got even nastier and spent one evening telling our two daughters terrible lies about me, which resulted in one of them hating me and refusing to see me for two years (most painful experience of my life). He also turned all his family against me so now they blank me and my daughters if we pass them. Oh no, an abuser does NOT like to feel that he is losing his power. Hopefully your ex is too busy grappling with the drink to do anything against you.

Abuse is so insidious. It takes so long to realise all the different ways in which it has affected you. If you only moved out last year you may still be feeling elated at what you achieved - don't be surprised if some of the toxins take a while to bubble to the surface. Don't be afraid when they come - recognise them for what they are and be glad they have surfaced to be released at last. As Marian says, free yourself from the habits you used to have (desperately avoiding confrontation, suppressing any of your own thoughts or desires, etc). I found it hard to even spot these behaviours - like not being able to enjoy myself. After so many years I find it really hard to do it. It DOES take a long time to feel happiness - that's why I write blogs about training your brain to be positive and forming GOOD thought patterns - but it is so worth it so keep working at it ("Never give up!"). It DOES take a long time to know how to put yourself first doesn't it? I am really bad at this because I put my two daughters first, but I'm learning and as they are 17 and 18 years old, they'll leave home soon(ish!)

You have a whole new lease of life now - fantastic! Look how strong you have been to get through all that and to be where you are today! Your power is always there El - you only have to look inside yourself and there it is. I look forward to hearing more good things from you El!

All the best, MG xx

Vivien Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 2:59pm

HI El, I too took a holiday on my own. I'd been a full time carer for my Mum, and when she went in to a care home, people suggested I go on holiday. I panicked and also felt guilty. I don't find it easy to make friends or even talk to people, and the initial meetings terrified me and reduced me to tears, but I persevered. I got there, met some lovely people and not one of them judged me. Take one day at a time, have plenty of me time. Have a lovely holiday and take care. Vivxx

the room above the garage Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 4:04pm

Hello El, your post makes me think of a tiny plant, surviving a harsh Spring then flourishing through the year! It's wonderful to feel that you are going from strength to strength and that is how your post reads. Doesn't matter how long it takes, you are now on your way! Yahoo! Thank you for sharing it with us, love ratg x.

Jul Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 4:24pm

Hello El. Your blog and Marmalade Girl's reply has made me realise again how it can take just one very weak but cruel person to ruin our lives. Your experience and Magamalade Girl's graphic description of what your husbands did to you over a long period of time, makes me feel so sad. No-one should ever have to go through what you suffered at the hands of a pathetic bully. I know how these abusive relationships can continue when to others it's obvious what is wrong and you should have got out years before. But it's just not possible at the time to take that life changing decision and you have been worn down so much by the behaviour of your husband that you no longer have the strength or will to escape. I am so so happy you both and others here have made your escape and I hope you can support each other on your journey to the liberated life which you deserve. You are brave El to write this blog today. I am so glad you have; more blogs need to be written about this subject. Domination by a partner (either sex) which lasts for years. Love to all who have suffered in this way. Jul xx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 5:22pm

Dear Jul - That is such a sensitive, kind and insightful response (one might almost think you had been in such a relationship yourself!) Weirdly, it's often hard to get understanding cos people question how bad it was if you stayed in the relationship. I stayed because I was in love with the man and it wasn't until two years AFTER I left him that I finally stopped (when I saw what he was prepared to do to my daughter just to hurt me). People think you are stupid to stay - but I'm not stupid (although the husband regularly told me I WAS). It's just hard to believe that the person you love, who is so handsome & charming, is actually treating you in this way. I could write a blog on the subject, but my instinct is not to - maybe more because I don't like to dwell on it but also because of the way HE trained me - that nobody would believe me, that nobody wants to listen to me whinging on, that I should not make a fuss or 'exaggerate' so.... Hmmmm. I think that this site is more about how to move on, how to help ourselves, with whatever mental difficulties we have, rather than going over the CAUSES. It would be distressing to hear too much about all the abuses and sufferings people have experienced. Better to hear from anyone who has survived, who is recovering. Anything that will give HOPE to anyone still in a dark place. MG xx

Molly Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 6:54pm

Hi MG, what a terrible time you had of it. It makes me so angry when children are used in these situations. I found myself in an abusive relationship once, we weren't married, or even lived together, but he was so manipulative and I was hooked. It went against all my principles to be treated in this way. He was unfaithful over and over, a very good liar, etc, told me it was all in my head (usual scenario) he had no conscience whatsoever. Family and friends got angry with me, but it had to run its course I guess. When I finally got out of the relationship, he confessed to all his lies, so I guess I got the last laugh. I am glad in a way I went through it, as it helps me to understand others who find themselves in similar situations (much worse of course if kids are involved, along with financial issues and marriage). It sounds like you are dealing with things really well and you gave great understanding and advice to El. Love Molly xx

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 7:40pm

Dearest Molly, lovely lady - Yes, when people use their own children (or any children) it really is beyond my comprehension. Your relationship that you describe has all the signs - I'm so glad to hear that you escaped! That bit about them saying it's all in your head really feels familiar! And where you say "it had to run its course" - I agree with that too. I am a much wiser, more understanding, more empathetic person as a result but it has been in exchange for a lot of suffering. I have two sisters (one older and one younger) who lead totally different lives to mine - the sort of life I would have led if I hadn't fallen in love with the wrong man. It has very much formed my life - but that's the way things go isn't it? Things happen that totally change your direction - as dramatic as those soldiers who lose limbs, but less obvious to see. I appreciate my life, no matter how surprising it has been. Bit like your husband being unwell (sorry if I have described that badly) - it transforms your life and your future. But that's OK - it is what it is and you have to make the most of it and get on with life. Bye for now my friend, MG xx

Molly Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 1:07am

Thank you MG for your kind words and for remembering that my husband is unwell. Yes we make our choices and deal with life accordingly don't we. I often think everyone else are happier/luckier than me, but I guess most people have problems in one form or another. I agree, 'it is what it is' thanks again MG, Molly xx

Jul Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 8:50am

Dear Marmalade Girl. Yes I have been in an abusive relationship but one I can't talk about to anyone except funnily enough my husband of over 30 years. So I understand it all. I think the worst aspect of it was the guy making me feel I was imagining things, imagining a situation which he denied and said did not exist. Of course he said that. If he had admitted one tiny bit of what I was feeling and trying to express, he would be finished. For me, it was that continual questioning of myself, is it really me, am I seeing and feeling things that don't exist, that are all in my mind?? This blog has really helped me as my abusive relationship doesn't often surface but I have never really understood how I could allow it to go on for so long knowing I was being made ill etc . I have more of an understanding now and am so comforted knowing my feelings are not unique to me. Thank you again MG and El. Jul xx

Jul Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 8:51am

Hello Molly. Yes being told it is all in our heads. How cruel is that?! Jul xx

The Gardener Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 8:07pm

Another mind-blowing blog and answers. In the thick of manic depression and marriage problems I was told by a psychiatrist that I was not 'marriage material'!! Who is? You stand at the altar, all aglow, and accept 'richer or poorer, better or worse'. things get tough and you get out or get on. At grand-daughter's wedding on Saturday one of our daughters was in tears. Her own marriage, lasting 18 months, was feasted on the same lawn in another marquee - hence the tears, I think. She lived with, to the family, a ghastly bloke. After six years, miserable, putting on weight, binge drinking, she came out to us. After a week she left for UK, determined, and having enough courage to break with him. She could not do it - another four years of misery and she did he, he was vengeful, vitriolic, nasty - now, she's fine (I think) but she does NOT wear her heart on her sleeve. She seems happy alone and independent, and why not? I know too many marriages so one-sided - women often terrified of living alone, and then manipulated. I have been listening to sob-stuff songs, prepared an excellent meal for Mr G and I - then, having decided to put this home which has been 'tailored' to our needs on the market I am bereft. What on earth is going to happen to us? One day at a time it is, and seize the pleasures that occur - go to bed with a good thing or two to do tomorrow. You look at friends in some the awful relationships mentioned above and think 'why don't you run for it'. Thanks to laws, nobody will starve breaking a relationship, will have problems, of course. But there seems to be the mesmeric effect of a Svengali - a honey trap? Talking rubbish, I'm tired, tomorrow is another day.

Brum Mum Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 8:19pm

Dear Eleanor, as often I am late to post but I had to today. I left my husband 3 years ago and it was one of the hardest, if not the hardest, thing I have ever done. Reading your blog reminded me of how for the first three months I woke up every morning at 4am and how I retched into the toilet every day. I did all the work to end the relationship and took all the guilt as family were far from supportive. Having said that, three years on sitting on the sofa in my lovely little house with my rescue dog by my side I know it was the right thing to do. So I wish you so well and all good things. There are times of loneliness (my kids are away with their Dad and a week of rest has morphed into a slightly lonely, miserable time) but there is nothing more lonely than staying in an unhappy marriage. Enjoy your holiday xx

Eleanor Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 9:11pm

Hi all, I'm overwhelmed with support and kindness thank you all. I guess my marriage situation may be a whole different supprt group. My point is I suppose, although I don't entirely blame my husband for my depression, he could have done so much more to help me and the road would have been easier. He was a bully (you're right Jul) he was also a narcissist and borderline alcoholic though he would never admit to any of that. I just don't know how you can do such things to your spouse. Ive been a good wife and mother and there for my family always. I just don't understand and probably never will. I stopped loving him a few years ago, he was so horrible it chipped away at my love for him each time. In the end I withdrew completely to save myself and I was done trying to fix the marriage on my own. When I told him i was leaving, he turned TV up - 24 years ive been with him and thats all he thought of me. It feels I am grieving for my marriage but not for him if that makes sense. Thank you all again El x

Molly Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 12:42am

El, My step dad was a narcissist. I put up with him from the age of 10 - till I fled home at 17. He appeared to be a really nice man to the outside world. Most didn't believe me when I told them what went on behind closed doors. They thought it was me making things up and being a difficult child. He is still with my mother to this day, she tries to explain his behaviour (as she is not that astute) I remind her that she has not got to explain to me, I lived with it and the man ruined my life. Your TV story was just the sort of thing he would have done! He now has cancer and I have no idea how to be sympathetic (which is not like me). Stay strong El, be kind to yourself. I don't know where you are but if there is a spa area, go have a massage, if there is a bar, have a large drink, or anything that tickles your fancy, just treat yourself! Love Molly xx

the room above the garage Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 8:19am

Grieving for a marriage but not for the partner makes total sense.

Dragonfly Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 9:55pm

Oh El, I'm so in awe of you, and others, who've removed themselves from damaging relationships. I've just lurched from one to another because my self esteem is so low I don't think I deserve anything else or better. I've allowed myself to be controlled and manipulated by a 'friend' for the past few years and I just don't seem to learn. At my lowest I don't think I could even look after myself on my own, but the reality is probably otherwise. On a more positive note, I've signed up for a place on a self-esteem course. I hope you go from strength to strength and find the happiness, or at least peace of mind, that you deserve x

Marmaladegirl Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 10:42pm

Hi Dragonfly - Being able to recognise what the problem is is the all important first step, and you have done that by seeing the effect your low self esteem has. You DO deserve better and you would be amazed how well you coped if you were coping alone. That you have signed up for a self esteem course is FANTASTIC - well done! Remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you feel and smarter than you think. Keep at it and you will be amazed at the changes you can bring about, as El says in her blog "A day at a time"! I say your last sentence back to YOU, except I hope you find peace of mind AND happiness. MG x

Dragonfly Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 5:44pm

Thank you for your lovely comment and your encouragement :) My sister bought me a little plaque with that phrase on - I should remember to take notice of it a bit more!x

Eleanor Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 10:33pm

Hi Dragonfly, its not easy and I understand it's scary to be alone. I had been tormented and bullied by my husband to the point where I knew it had to be better being alone. I guess that's why I'm ok just now but eventually would like to have a relationship. That's scary too! The self esteem course sounds like something I need!! Where is it if you don't mind me asking? Wondering if there are any near me. I've been watching a couple of life coaches online but think I would benefit from a personal session. I hope things get better for you, try and be strong and look after yourself. Trust your instincts with people. El x

Dragonfly Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 5:47pm

Hi Eleanor, I'm in York and I've been directed towards a Women's Project - Kyra which runs these courses. I'm really hoping I get onto the one in September as NHS support is a long time coming. Oh, trusting my instincts - that's my downfall as for some reason I ignore them, when with hindsight it turns out that they were quite sound. I hope you can find a course near you and I really do wish you well x

David Thu, Aug 3rd 2017 @ 11:51pm

Hello, all Moodscopers that are interested in my comments.

I find some of these comments disturbing and will refrain from answering them,

Please from Admin can you inform me how many active members are male and female as the balance seems to be more female?

Thank you.

Molly Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 1:11am

Hi David, may I ask what it is you find disturbing? Personally I find the blogs and comments really interesting and helpful. Do you not like them? Molly

Valerie Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 8:48am

David,I have just read through all the above again,and can't see anything even aimed at you,let alone upsetting? Coincidentally I have submitted a blog this week.seeking to get more male members to participate.

Jul Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 9:00am

David. Moodscope is for everyone, not just you!! We cannot tailor our comments to suit others or pussyfoot around you. At the same time we are not deliberately out to upset or disturb. This was not an attack on men, In fact I said earlier that women can be the abusive partner, not as often admittedly but it does happen and many men put up with it for a very long time through fear of appearing emasculated. Gender doesn't really come into this and young men these days would be just as happy and interested in discussing this issue of male bullying in a relationship as women are. I think the older generation of men are often still very entrenched in their stereotyping of women which is very sad. Maybe you could examine just why this blog and its comments disturb you. The blog and comments are factual which I would have thought would strike a chord with you. Facts not feelings. Anyway I thought you said you were jetting off somewhere to save the world! Go well David and maybe you can explain to Caroline in confidence just what has really upset you in today's blog. Jul

Molly Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 7:37pm

Well said Jul !! Didn't even realise that this might appear as a dig at men. Far from it. There are many decent men around, it was just the blog of the day which some of us could could relate to, like with all of the blogs, which vary greatly and if I thought for one moment that this site was anything about feminism, I would be long gone. I still wonder David, why you are on this site if you do not like it. I hope that you read this and above responses to your comment. Generally men do not open up as much as women, this is a fact. Without wanting to appear like I am ganging up on David, as I feel he has been made most welcome here, Jul, your comment says it all. Molly xx

Jul Sat, Aug 5th 2017 @ 12:32pm

Thank you Molly. Well said you too Love Jul xx

Caroline the Moodscope Team Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 12:11am

Hi David

I'm not sure why you are finding these comments disturbing David. Perhaps you could explain as we don't feel there is anything that has been said that might disturb anyone - also you don't need to answer anyone else comment, they are their own comments and feelings and they are all welcome as long as they are not rude or derogatory.

It doesn't really matter how many active members are male or female, it's just that far more female members comment. There are many male members that are active that won't or don't feel they can comment but it doesn't mean that Moodscope isn't helping them.

David, I know you've been a member for a long time so you have seen how the blog works and who is commenting so I'm not sure why it has become an issue for you. Perhaps you'd like to email me personally. Thanks. Caroline

David Fri, Aug 4th 2017 @ 12:56am

Hello, Caroline thank you for the very prompt reply. I will email you a.s.a.p. David.

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