Moodscope's blog

18

December


A Community of Support. Thursday December 18, 2014

I missed last week as things weren’t good,
I lost my way inside.
I still get tripped and fall at times,
I then go off and hide.

So many thoughts go through my head,
And I live in the past and future.
I cannot seem to touch the ‘present’,
To go inside to nurture.

I was touched by the comments from my previous blog,
From my hurt and loss in Spain.
Such caring humanity and searching words
Both with and without a name.

What can I say that binds us all?
What can I write to show?
That if we are courageous and vulnerable,
A path to balance can flow.

I know I stop looking, I know I stop reading,
In the times when I fall and hurt.
We need to seek out those who support us
And stay away from the ‘curt’.

We each have our individual histories,
And each our singular lives.
So different and so varied
Some heal, some cut like ‘knives’.

So many stories that people offer,
Each with their own fingerprint
Some will touch us more than others,
Some simply nudge with a hint.

It’s the friends we don’t have to fit in with,
That accept us for who we are.
We feel we actually belong with them
They love us from near and far.

The secret is that they love us,
Almost due to our individual ‘faults’,
We really don’t have to fit,
And fulfil the societal ‘oughts’.

Moodscope can also act as a ‘friend’
The community offering thoughts,
They help in the healing process,
And never have to be ‘bought’.

Are we open to learning? Are we open to change?
Or do we look elsewhere, week after week?
Are we seeking outside what is within range?
Or is it inside us that we need to seek?

What thoughts, if any, emerge from this for you?
Who can you discuss them with?

Les
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

crafty wee midden Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 6:57am

Les,
Thank you.....especially for this...( going in my wee yellow Filo)
<<<>>>

I learned that 'ought' and 'should' are two danger words for me. I still get caught, but at least am aware, and try not o be too hard on myself....thanks for the verse....you capture feelings very well.
Alex on the east coast of Scotland

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 7:06am

Wish you well now, Les. What a shame you slipped back and maybe licked your wounds? Hope you have an enjoyable Christmas and know that you Moodscopers ( me anyway) value you tremendously. When your writing appears, it's like an old friend dropping in. Thanks , Les. We love you. Xx

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 7:49am

Hi Les-as usual you have hit the spot with your words.I have heard of poetry therapy among the many therapies for low moods.You fit the bill.Merry Xmas and Happy New Year from a fellow traveler.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 7:50am

Thank you Les, you totally captured how i feel about moodscope and the lovely people on here. Its wonderful to find a group of people who think like me and are unafraid to show vulnerability and honesty. Makes me feel much saner! After 13+years of battling with my mind I too am prone to withdrawing when things get really tough, I hope this post is a sign you're emerging, the world is a better place with you in it. Love Amy x

crafty wee midden Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 8:40am

Replying o myself....missed out your quote, Les....sorry! It was this:
...We really don’t have to fit,
And fulfil the societal ‘oughts’.

Julia Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 8:43am

Hello Les. I hope you are coming to terms with the robbery in Spain and are gradually reclaiming your life, all the things that were cruelly stolen from you.Your reaction to hide away was normal and now you feel you can reappear. We are so hard on ourselves! When something objectively horrible happens to us, we somehow blame ourselves when actually it is nothing to do with our inadequacies, low moods, past mistakes etc etc, but everything to do with the perpetrator. I am sure us moodscopers over think. I do! But sometimes, it's helpful to see life events for what they are, outside our control when they happen. We may overthink but we are also strong in our community and friendships whether anonymous or with a name. So good to hear from you Les.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 9:17am

"Oughts and shoulds" - in a course I was doing I was proclaimed a Queen those and was asked not to use these words during a month. "But how can I then talk?" I wondered. It took me a lot of thinking to realise I could say: "I want to"...expressing what I rather than society thinks I "SHOULD DO". And "want to" does not mean "am going to" opening up for failure if I don't do it.

Life is more free and bigger without oughts. It is enough with my own pressure to do things. I don't want societal oughts.

Thank you Alex and thank you Les. Great to have you contribute here. I think the way out is to go within. But it is possible to find lots of stuff outside too. I can bring it inside later if I want. Different days, different needs, differents wants.

All the best,
Karin

Trisha Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 9:43am

Hi Les Thank you once again for reawakening my soul - I lost my best friend and constant companion two weeks ago - my beautiful dog Coco and the pain is unbearable. When people let me down and hurt me she never did - she clung on to life for my sake even when we both knew it was her time to go. I have hid away going through the motions without feeling, numb inside and so lonely but today I read your post and do not feel alone anymore - you touched me. Thank you

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 12:30pm

This poem is wonderful, I love it and enjoy all your posts Les, thank you x

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 1:09pm

Hello Les - great to read you again; I hope you can feel the warmth from this wonderful on-online community.

Maybe periods of hiding are valuable as time to lick wounds and allow healing to occur. Maybe when in a deep hole, expecting to see the horizon and to see the way to go is unrealistic - but there is always the sky to focus on which can bring peace - and when at peace it becomes easier to see the way out of the hole ...

Wishing you peace of mind and heart ... and beautiful skies to look at!
Frankie

Mary Blackhurst Hill Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 2:17pm

Dear Les, We are stronger together. I always love your poems; you share such depth with such a light touch. Big hugs.

Silvia A Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 4:41pm

I should copy and repeat:
Hope you have an enjoyable Christmas and know that you Moodscopers (me anyway) value you tremendously. When your writing appears, it's like an old friend dropping in.
...
I am not feeling good today. So where to go? Oh, as I ma in front of the computer, have to go to Moodscope - how it help me align? I do not know, but when I meet a post like that I feel better.

A big thank you, Les from a hot day in this tropical country.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 5:37pm

Like everyone else, Les, I am so grateful for your wise words. Thank you and I too, hope you are on the way up from your hidden place. Come up for air, seek us..we're there...waiting for you. Happy Christmas wishes to you and yours and a happier New Year for us all. Karen x

Libby Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 7:01pm

Les, you brought tears to my eyes. I sounds like you are navigating through the dark spots. Connection with others like myself is how I navigate through the hole.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 8:26pm

Trisha, how awful. That soreness never really goes does it. I still feel the heart scorch when I think of a cat my mum had when I was 3 through to 17. Sometimes animals are so perceptive and their silent understanding is stronger than anything. Wish you well, love ratg.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 8:32pm

Anonymous at 7.49 signed off as a fellow traveller...how much do I love that! Les et al...where shall we go?!?!?! Have my suitcase and my 'Please Look After this Nutjob' sign tied on ready... :-)

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 8:33pm

^...where are my manners...its me...love from the room above the garage x.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 18th 2014 @ 8:59pm

Thanks Les for your thoughtful and touching poem, and to everyone for their reciprocity. Have a good Christmas and New Year hopefully doing at least something that we want and not to many of those should or oughts.

Anonymous Fri, Dec 19th 2014 @ 12:58am

I know its late Les. I hope ypu get this. We are--i know I am with you. We have a special sanctuary between & amongst us. It is what it is--no more and no less. We are real. And I for one am with you and more like us.
I hope you are making peace as much as it is possible for your loss.
Be well & stay connected.
I hope you are able to enjoy some holiday festivities.
Margaret
across the pond

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