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A clean sheet. Sunday October 25, 2015

When the seams of your life are a wilting
When you just wanna turn yourself downside up and outside in?
Do you sabotage your now
With the mirrors of your past?

What do you do?
What do you do?

Do you live your life through pages of a novel?
Watch the latest Scandi noir?
Gather all those posh paper bags?
From boutiques and chocolate boudoirs.

What do you do?
What do you do?

Do you wander John Lewis like a ghost drifting in cellophane silence?
Are those glass lifts funnel vacuums of your soul?
Do you paint a wall?

Don't you fit in with where you used to be?
Have your eyes widened?
Wings burnt but not clipped.
You wish they had been
So you don't have to choose.

Who told you when you were little
That you had to find your way?
No signposts when you needed them.
You have your wigwam.

Why take the exit?
Those brutal steps so cold and bare.

Why do you fear the choice to honour your whole being?
Must you run away to seek that truth?

Or do you find it here, this moment?
When you open your heart,
To clover on the lawn,
To the squirrel up the tree,
To the loud and plump lady
Whose jam jars sit on her doorstep
Filled with coloured water
Just because they can.
Why not?

Sunshine in the rain.
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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LillyPet Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 7:55am

Sunshine in the rain, thank you for a beautiful and thought provoking poem.
I definately do sabotage my now with mirrors of my past. Projecting the harm caused then, onto circumstance now.
But today I'm choosing to look. It's a beautiful Sunday in London, bright damp, autumnal. I'm keeping my eyes wide open for that squirrel!
Thank you. LP :)

Isabella Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 8:29am

Hi everyone I'm new. Read your blogs and comments for a week now - everyone is warm and friendly. Really love yesterday's and today's blogs - at my worst time my mantra was 'nothing bad is going to happen today'. Now it is 'get up and out' - especially when the sun shines. We walk our dog - lucky to live near the sea - going down to the harbour now to feel whats left of the warmth of the sun, watch the waves and drink coffee. The rowers go out in their gigs this morning - powerful and strong.
Sometimes I love being a noun - curled up watching a film - or i am I verb when I do that? I shall think more about the grammar - love the ideas.
Thank you. Xx

Debs Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 8:42am

Welcome Isabella ;-) What a lovely picture... walking down to the sea to watch the waves and the rowers - two sets of verbs indeed. Enjoy your Sunday xxx

Debs Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 8:40am

Wow - great blog Sunshine. I definitely drag my past kicking and screaming and plant it firmly in my future so that there is no future to behold. It never used to be like this but depression is a cloud that fogs up my windscreen making it impossible to see clearly. I think I need to get the windscreen wipers out and start to see a new day - thank you for the inspiration xxx

Ruth Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 8:52am

Sunshine in the rain. What a challenging blog. Thank you. The bit that really chimed with me was the running away, and in my case, wearing blinkers so I can't see challenges to my way of thinking. Way too tiring. My mother is a Quaker and she's a great model. Stillness, acceptance, peace, generosity of spirit. She has difficulties but she seems to acknowledge them and choose to focus elsewhere as far as she can. x

Les Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 8:53am

Some words on the page,
From a new sage.
Thoughts from the heart,
A day's new start.
Welcome sunshine i.t.r.
You are a bright star.
Evocative images you write,
Welcome to 'our' compassionate site.
You help our hearts open,
Welcome - welcome in.

Helen Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 9:36am

Jars of coloured water. I completely love that idea. Great poem thank you

Maria Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 11:24am

I'm new too, and feel privileged to be part of such a loving, supportive and wise community. Thanks Sunshine in the rain for creating rainbows!

LillyPet Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 10:00pm

Hi Maria, welcome! LP :)

susan Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 11:39am

Dear Sunshine in the rain, your blog gave me a synchronicity experience this morning as i desperately sought 'the moment', feeling that i had come to the point of choosing 'to honour my whole being'...or not...and simply not knowing if i could...or if i even wanted to. It felt like your words were saving my life. Now as noon approaches, a second reading presents a less dramatic response (coffee, porridge, sunday papers) but the beauty of your words remain. Are you indeed a new friend here, or an old friend in a new guise? Thank you so much for the clean sheet, a lovely gift on a sunday morning. xx

Carol Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 12:13pm

Not sure if emoticons work on here but smiley faces, suns & rainbows - thank you Sunshine ??????????????????

The Gardener Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 4:25pm

Such lovely sunshine, and no rain - after the sufficiency which germinated my semi-wild seed mixture. The ornamental gourds are a fabulous sight - pear-shaped yellow striped, bowls sized green ones covered in warts. But that's it - I'm a total prisoner - husband still will not eat - cannot get up, if he does he falls over, forgets he has and does it again. Neighbour in twice. I should not have answered today, have nothing sensible to say. I see no future - bitterly, I see I am in chains, cannot go out of the room without fear - I need straws to clutch at - my vision of glorious robes to display for All Saints no longer seems practical. I get nothing done in a day, called every ten minutes - some internal spiritual strength must be there to provide some music, that the future will contain some cheerful words. This disease is dark, terrifying, unpredictable, and always, always the feeling you could have done something better, earlier, in a nicer manner, Not helped by the medics who all say (they're not going to give you honeyed words) 'you're in for a tough time)

Frankie Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 8:03pm

Evening Gardener You write so beautifully in the midst of a horrible situation - thank-you for sharing your wonderful words and memories ... and full marks to the medics for their honesty ... that is a true gift (in my opinion). I think that guilt is a natural emotion to experience at such times; however, I do believe that you are doing the best you can ... and time will show you that and in time you will be able to accept that ... In the meantime, know that I think of you often and when I do I offer up a prayer ... Frankie

Frankie Sun, Oct 25th 2015 @ 8:07pm

Sunshine in the rain; such a wonderful name!

Thank-you for a beautiful blog ...

What do I do? Play solitaire card games on my tablet ... though am cheering myself on for leaving the tablet behind and getting out today for a short walk ... glorious sunset, so am feeling more positive as a result ...


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