Time & Authenticity.

Friday January 8, 2016

Last week I talked about how I believe we need to 'show weakness to gain strength'. When we have the courage to show weakness this can determine the nature of the relationship; whether it is safe or not, allowing us to be our true authentic selves.

I believe, that we are all predominately looking for contentment or happiness and this can only be achieved if we are firstly true to ourselves (often the hardest step) and then able to show that authentic self. This can then attract those who are 'kindred spirits' who accept all of us and of course, allows us to accept all of them.

At the root of much of this is the need for shared values. When there is no alignment of those in a relationship I see it a bit like a radio channel, very uncomfortable if not fully on the station, due to all the interference.

In this digital world of course, there is almost no tuning. Are our lives becoming the same? Instant access, instant answers, instant dating, and instant everything!

Research clearly shows that to live longer and happier, we need to live together. In one comment to last week's blog I stated – 'to go fast, go alone – to go far, go together'. This is at a time when more and more of us live alone, some out of choice and others due to relationship breakup or other circumstances.

There is therefore, for our own health, the need to spend time to truly get to know people, in whatever setting.

This is also the case at work, if the business is truly going to become sustainable. Only sustainable relationships (both internal and external), will create sustainable businesses.

We will only ever build true and sharing relationships with those we trust, those we can be vulnerable with. And at the root of trust, is taking the time to be able to listen, at times possibly without any response from your own 'view', unless asked for. So the phrase I offer this week is; 'If you do not have time, it is not important enough'.

When we say we don't have time it is almost always simply an excuse and to a high degree inauthentic. What might be more truthful is to offer that there are other things more important in the time you have. Or simply that you do not want to do it. This is one way of being vulnerable and open.

How courageous are we about not using time as an excuse and without angst possibly saying 'no' and happy to explain why? Are you prepared to take time, to build deep and meaningful relationships where vulnerable conversation is possible?

A Moodscope member

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