The Prisoner of Azkaban.

Wednesday April 6, 2016

Sometimes it's just days. Sometimes it's for weeks. Every so often I am incarcerated for months.

So far, thank goodness, my sentence has not been for years – unlike some people I know – poor souls.

I'm locked up now, in that foul place, chained in a corner and tormented by Dementors.

J K Rowling wrote this about the Dementors:

"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself — soul-less and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Yes – even Muggles feel their presence although to them, Azkaban is invisible. My family and friends cannot see my cell and they cannot see my chains. I don't want them to see the Dementors either.

I can't give into those Dementors right now; I have too many people dependent on me. They need me strong and happy - so I will give them strong and happy. One friend in particular needs my light. I will keep that light burning if at all possible.

And I've got a few excuses racked up for the times the happiness slips and the light grows dim. My newly mended ankle hurts. I'm frustrated I can't do more. I'm worried about my friend who is going through a hard time. I'm concerned for my husband who has borne the burden for the past few weeks.

They're all excellent excuses and they're not the truth.

We all know the truth, because we're the ones who see and feel the Dementors. I guess it's a bit like seeing ghosts, but less glamorous – and actually a bit more scary. My buddies know the truth as they are the ones who see my scores and who question me when those scores drop into dungeon territory. They know that, once again, I'm in my prison rags and cut off from the light. They can't see the Dementors but they see the effects.

Usually I am fairly honest about where I am on my depression cycle, but this time I have to keep things to myself. My family cannot deal with anything more just at the moment.

I hope this sentence will be short. I hope the cell door will unlock soon. And I hope my release will be less melodramatic than that of Bellatrix Lestrange! (Cue manic laughter and the waving of wands...)

At least they let me have my quill and parchment to write this letter to you! I hope the owl delivered it on time.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 33 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive


Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.