Stop pleasing, start living

Thursday August 19, 2021

This is the statement on the front of my copy of ‘Untamed’, by Glennon Doyle.

This has been another of my lockdown reads. And there were so many quotes that resonated with me, that it’s pretty much impossible to pick one or two to share.

The book is partly autobiographical and partly a challenge to ‘wake up’. The premise really, is that most of us are living the lives we think we are supposed to live – bounded by what we were taught by children from our parents, our friends and our culture – rather than embracing our ‘real’ wants and needs. I think it is relevant particularly to those of us who live with/have lived with depression. Yes, depression is a physical illness but I think it is triggered for me, when I am not being true to who I am, to what I need – when I am living my life in a way that is about other people rather than me. I’m much better now, at recognising when things don’t feel like a fit for me, or when someone is asking too much of me. It’s been a long journey…

The book covers all sorts, from addiction and numbing to parenting, love and making difficult choices. It’s a collection of sometimes random thoughts and reflections, but if you fancy a ‘dip in’ kind of book that just might give you some ‘aha’ moments, I’d definitely recommend it.

I’ll leave you with a couple of quotes to reflect on:

“It’s easier to call us broken and dismiss us than to consider that we are responding appropriately to a broken world”.

“I did not know that I was supposed to feel everything. I thought I was supposed to feel happy. I thought that happy was for feeling, and that pain was for fixing and numbing and deflecting and hiding and ignoring.”

“Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else, and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else.”

A Moodscope member.

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