Run for home...

Saturday December 12, 2015

As Lindisfarne put it: "Run for home, run as fast as I can...I have travelled the land, made mistakes out of hand."

I have travelled around quite a bit, five UK cities and two foreign countries. Mainly it has been for work reasons, but sometimes I wonder.

The interesting thing about moving is that there are two sides to it. On the one hand you are moving towards something new: new opportunities, new friends, new relationships. Conversely you are also moving away from the old: old events, old friends, old relationships.

Sometimes it is difficult to disentangle the conflicting emotions of moving towards a new life or running away from the old one. Plus the nagging suspicion that perhaps you are searching for something and not finding it. Over time too comes the feeling that you are losing more than you are gaining, especially as old friends lose touch and new ones seem to be harder to find.

As I was growing up, all the traditional industries locally were closing down, and the mantra was to get an education and leave town. Health, wealth and happiness were elsewhere. (This has given me a great insight into Irish thinking and culture living in Dublin.)

One aspect of feeling that leaving home was not a choice is that you can over-romanticise your birthplace, something the Irish have always done, although Newcastle people are not far behind. Many supporters at Newcastle away games will be ex-pats reconnecting with their upbringing. Sometimes though there is a backlash when you are eulogising your hometown and someone snaps "well why don't you *** off back there then!"

So that is the plan. I am applying for jobs back in the North-East of England and planning to move back there while I still have family and friends. And perhaps eventually retire to a coastal village where it rains horizontally.

Whatever I have been looking for will not be found outside, it will be found inside, so going back to where it all began to achieve closure seems a good move.

A Moodscope member.

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