Feeling the feels.

Monday April 2, 2018

I've been seeing a counsellor for just over a year now. We get on, I feel comfortable around her, and I know she's here to help me. But when my emotions come up in our sessions, I cough, I deflect, I make a joke and I push them down. Sometimes a little seeps out, but as soon as I can I sniff it away.

At home, when the black dog curls round my feet, I swallow the emotions down with overeating and I busy them away by focusing on my "to dos". I do all that I can to distract myself from the feelings bubbling below the surface.

I know I need to face the emotions so I can work through, heal and move on. I know I need to fully embrace the pain. But somehow I can't bring myself to do it. I'm scared that if I start crying I'll never stop, that I'll plunge myself into deeper and darker places from which there is no way out. And right now I don't have time for it. I can't fall apart when others are so reliant on me.

But still I know I need to start acknowledging the feels. I'm not sure where to start but as always, awareness and accountability are the first steps. So here I am, telling you all that I'm aware that my avoidance strategies aren't healthy for me and that I'm going to try to change.

If any of you lovely moodscopers have any advice or tips for facing and feeling the feels I'd love to hear them.

In the meantime, wish me luck and a box of tissues!

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 63 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive


Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.