Che Sera Sera

Thursday February 20, 2020

I have been watching 'A Horseman riding by' TV series on books by Delderfield. An illiterate poacher's wife 'tells' the future by cards at the local fete. She sees something awful which she cannot explain. It is just before the start of WW1.

If a soothsayer could have 'seen' me now, a widow in her 80's, in a too large house in a provincial French town, listening to the third awful storm in a row (Dennis this one) and wondering how to find a roofer, it would have seemed outrageous. There may be people – doctors, dentists perhaps who knew what they wanted to do, and have been able to follow their chosen profession throughout their lives. Many must have had my 'fate', a roller-coaster, where you ride the waves and weather the next storm. I am writing this by default, no insult to 'Moodscope', because I have three projects, all in French, not strong enough, and my tapping fingers are restless.

In this area many people have hardly moved from where they, their parents, and grand-parents were born. Great friends are local farmers; she has milked cows twice a day for 35 years. A son has taken over the tenancy, and she has Sunday evenings 'off'. I sowed seeds of rebellion once, took them off to Devon (they had to lash out on relief milkers) and she rapidly got a taste for country house and garden visiting. Back in France she expressed a wish to visit superb properties in the locality; husband was not having it, end of story. I do wonder, should he die first, whether she will have the energy and will to 'make up for lost time'. She is a very devout catholic, but rather narrow minded. At lunch in their gloomy house another great friend, a Franciscan monk/priest was there. He quietly, but firmly, corrected her on the pretty awful things she was saying about Jews and Moslems, pointing out that she was incorrect and racist.

My husband and one of my sons worked for world-renowned companies. If you had started with them 60 years ago you could have confidently expected to 'rise through the ranks' according to your ability, retire with a suitable present and live on a good pension. They were the 'good old days' (??) before depressions, recessions, redundancy, hostile take-overs and, often now, awful financial management (recently shown in Thomas Cook).

Having got through the war, my husband having got his 'matriculation' at a good Grammar school, he wanted to be a farmer. His mother pleaded, I think, with him, to go to college and get a qualification to give him a wider choice. I have just written his life story for the College Magazine, even surprising myself along the way. Life was often Micawber-ish (something will turn up). Things did, and we got good at grabbing opportunities, despite dire warnings about the risks and insecurity. So, che sera sera, still. Just listened to Doris Day singing the song. 'The future's not ours to see'. Has it been, for anybody?

The Gardener
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to leave a comment below.


Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 23 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive


Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.