19

September

The Waiting Room

Saturday September 19, 2020


So... I am waiting again. This is not what I signed up for, my family dispersed, beloved grandchildren thousands of miles away in other countries. No this is not what I hoped for. How do I get used to heartbreak? How do I find a purpose for my life?

Now one family are in the UK. I have been alone since February. I just want to see and be seen, hold and be held, but I have to wait, first quarantine, then visits to other important people. Still I wait to find out when it is my turn, will it come, will they suddenly find they have to go. The suspense is suffocating.

Then today a large trailer is deposited on my driveway, well I suppose that means someone will come and take it. Yes, that means they will come. For a brief moment I can be Nan to my eight-month grandson, his weight against my body like I can still feel from the one hour I had with him in January. Now new memories will have to last for who knows how long. One slightly rusty trailer giving much needed reassurance.

No, it’s not what I thought would happen, a family apart. Things will change, perhaps I will get to Spain and Portugal to see them in a year or so. Now to get on with my life, start doing rather than waiting. I have a painting in my head, and a piece of stained glass to create, a jumper to knit , weight to loose, a body to get fit, friends to see and help . Oh… here a hint of purpose, there a smidgen of hope, a glimmer of self-care shines out. That’ll do… it could be so much worse.

What are you waiting for? What will surprise you to help you move on?

Best wishes

Thoughts on the above, please feel free to leave a comment below.


Comments

Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 28 comments so far.


What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.