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8

January


The True ‘Heart’ of Change. Thursday January 8, 2015

Last year, I helped a friend reorganise his at home office. On my next visit I noticed everything was back in its original spot. There's comfort in the familiar. And comfort was certainly more important to him than a new, more efficient place for his mail.

We all know other people who are stuck doing the same things the same way expecting a different outcome. Yet we fail to see our own narrow views or the "I know what I know" attitudes we hang on to, never considering the possibility that we may be blind to a better way. (Here I am for instance with depression again...why?)

The world around us is rapidly changing - in fact the only constant is change. Flexibility and adaptability are critical success factors for people and thus organisations. Although openness to new ideas and a sincere desire for positive change are more important than ever, we often stay with the familiar assuming it will eventually produce the desired, or different results, mostly because our subconscious knows it kept us alive until now! (Think of smoking, alcohol or obesity.)

Albert Einstein said it best: "The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."

When we resist change we miss opportunities because the discomfort we feel around change, fear, anxiety and worry, can literally limit the brain's ability to see other options. The heart in actual fact sends more messages to the brain than visa versa. It literally shuts down important decision making areas of the brain as our emotions move out of balance - the most obvious being don’t make decisions when we are angry.

If we want to think differently, we need to feel differently first.

As I have previously said EQ before IQ/feelings before thought - we need to be self-aware of our emotional balance first to ensure we can use the best of our IQ.

Next time you find you're resistant to change, make sure you aren't blind to other options. Start by disengaging from any discomfort and find a more neutral attitude: Focus on the area around your heart; breathe in and out through the heart. Then engage the power of the heart by activating a positive feeling. The physiological changes brought about by this emotional shift will facilitate cortical function and can help you view the issue in a whole different light.

And of course as Charles Darwin stated "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."

And the most powerful agent of change - is a change of heart (EQ).

Les
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 6:30am

I'm happy to see you here!
I'm now inspired to welcome in change. Does wearing my top inside out count? Being an engrained sort of a soul its surely a start!!!
I will nap later this morning as I've had very little sleep...that's a change, I never do that.
You are totally correct, change and how we respond is key. I made some fairly dramatic changes (when life got to a new low) and things are slowly taking on a different form. Some of it has hurt but not as badly as it might have. The whole experience has helped me grow and realise change can be good, so I'm now more open to it. Little changes are as important, if not more important, as big ones.
It's good to see you, love from me in the room above the garage x.

Hopeful One Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 7:12am

Hi Les -this blog is cool. I do try and embrace change and not hesitate to learn something new despite the inner critical voice telling you the opposite.In fact this was probably the most critical decision I made that helped me to get out of my depression- to change my thoughts ,feelings and behaviour to unlock me from the triangle that held my depression.

Victoria Abraham Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 7:20am

Thank you Les yet again for such insightful contributions. For me it is Fear and all it's attributes that block my growth and if I looked for the location of Fear, it would be found in the mind. The consistency of change is a bit like accepting that there is an order to chaos and I can accept this when I approach difficulties from my heart space. Although vulnerable my heart does not have the veils that block my way. In thinking about tasks like social interaction, my mind will analyse, judge, speculate and plan, whereas my heart is spontaneous, compassionate and intuitive. I have opened my heart through meditation and I attempt to approach fears such as change, with a sense of playfulness. Easier said then done sometimes.

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 8:36am

Hi Les
As ever I found your blog rang very true for me and is helpful. I'm sorry you are in a bad place right now. No solutions for you I am afraid but I hope you can be proud of yourself for writing stuff that helps the rest of us. I've never managed the blog before because I don't really understand the technology and it makes me anxious. It would be really useful if they could put some detailed instructions about how to use it on the site. (Hopefully I haven't just missed something that's already there.) Anyway hope this works and going to stay anonymous for now as it seems the simplest option.

Rupert Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 8:37am

Les you are so right - I have been coming to the same conclusion the last few days. In a way that is the essence of the problem - depression HATES change - it just cant even begin to think about it let alone embrace it and I think that has blighted my whole life. At work it is always those who seem to have a positive outlook and are open to adopting new ideas or better still coming up with them who propser and advance whilst I remain embroiled in my own thoughts struggling to see a way forward.

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 8:38am

Thank you so much, Les. This is very interesting and thought provoking. I feel I will be coming back to reread this blog in times to come. Happy New Year to you, and may it gave started well for you. Two brilliant quotes as well ( Einstein and Darwin )

Mary Blackhurst Hill Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 8:57am

Wise words as ever Les. Big hug to you. Keep writing; it does seem to help (more in retrospect than when you're struggling to do it however).

Wendy Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 9:29am

Yes, Les, I like this ... thank you. Wish you well with your mood also. Thanks too to Rupert and Mary for their apposite comments ... appreciated. Best wishes to all, Wendy

greenjean Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 10:14am

Hello Les yes thanks to folk like you being willing to share with us Moodscopers you are such a help and blessing to us all. Especially when you are not 'in the best place' with depression at the moment. I am struggling a bit with concentration and 'the cloud' but do admire your ability to be creative despite the depression. Your messages are always so helpful. Be kind to yoursel & Best wishes

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 10:35am

Hello Anonymous 8.36 am; great that you have succeeded in posting. You could always continue as "Anonymous" but sign off with a nickname - I really love the nickname "RATG" (which is Room above the garage) which always makes me smile each time she posts. Mine is Frankie. Welcome!

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 10:41am

Hello Les (from a very soggy South coast with grey skies).
Wonderful to see you here again;
It is so weird reading this just half an hour after a discussion about me possibly resigning ... ! What you say is, as always, so true, wise and helpful. Very scary, but I will try ... Wish me luck! Frankie

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 2:05pm

Wise words from you Les, thank you. Thanks to Rupert too. We are often frightened of change...and it seems to me that I 'learnt' that behaviour from my mother, who didn't like things changing, especially as she got older. I have conciousiy taken changing 'steps' (baby ones!) to do things in a more efficient way in the home and my work - one such thing is to deal with something there and then, not put it down or away for another day, as it invariably means it gets forgotten or weighs heavily on my worried mind and I put off dealing with it. Even if it means going up and down the stairs several times a day rather than making a pile and hoping someone will carry it up instead of walking passed it! I hate change! I hate having a new phone or updated stuff on the pooter...yuck, yuck, yuck! But I will try harder, sir! K:)

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 2:06pm

Much luck, Frankie! K :)

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 5:32pm

Similar here K, I learned behaviours from my mum that I realised so late...but I have realised so that is something. Keep going, love from the room above the garage .

Les Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 8:53pm

'There is no try, only do or don't do' Yoda (said with care)

Liz Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 9:07pm

Hello Les, what does Yoda mean.

Anonymous Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 9:25pm

Thank you ratg...am going....! K x

Les Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 10:31pm

OK.................

Let's try this............

Try to lift your right hand right now.

Did you do it?
Did you not do it?
There is no try.

Usually when people use the word try....they are psychologically already giving themselves the 'opt out'...........and that may be right for them in whatever state they are in.

Even when we 'try' a new sport or activity we actually 'play' it and then decide whether we want to or not.

If someone asked you to come to their party and you replied 'I'll try'......you are mostly attempting to be polite......while thinking something quite different.

It's a bit like the word 'but'.....it wipes everything out before it. I.e. 'I really like Moodscope BUT..........'

People usually use 'but' to attempt, dare I say 'try' to seem as tho they are agreeing with the person and then simply making their own point! They are in fact disagreeing...... thus 'do or don't do'......there is no 'try'.

We could also explore should, could or would............ ;-)

The words we utter determine our behaviour or more importantly the trust we build in our relationships........

Les Thu, Jan 8th 2015 @ 10:37pm

Thank you to you all for 'embracing' me on my return.........appreciated.

Well done to anonymous for posting.........you can now 'do' the technology....keep going and you are right........solutions come from inside us....hopefully with some support.

Silvia A Mon, Jan 12th 2015 @ 1:27am

Hi Les, I am late to say how nice is to see a post of yours.
I thinks these are wise words:
"Next time you find you're resistant to change, make sure you aren't blind to other options. Start by disengaging from any discomfort and find a more neutral attitude: Focus on the area around your heart; breathe in and out through the heart. Then engage the power of the heart by activating a positive feeling. The physiological changes brought about by this emotional shift will facilitate cortical function and can help you view the issue in a whole different light."
However, when I see that houses are disappearing and buildings without garden are being erected, when I see everyone busy with a smartphone, etc, these are changes I do not like. But I think, it is easier if accepted. Thank you for the suggestion of a more neutral attitude.

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