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Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me... Thursday December 11, 2014

Really?? Why then did a comment from a friend (an ex university lecturer) saying that if she had been marking my work I would have got zero, make me flee from the room and sit in my car sobbing my heart out?

She did not mean to be cruel, we were having a debate about whether referencing was necessary in a project proposal, but in that one thoughtless comment she managed to push all the wrong buttons!

She did not realise that I am in the process of moving house with very little support from my family, or that I have to get up at 6 every morning to get my son to his bus and I am finding it exhausting, or that I am having to deal with the emotional turmoil my husband is in about the sale of his family home and deal with his solicitors or that I am going to have to put my cat down soon and she did not realise that I am struggling to do my university work and am convinced that I am useless at it.

I think it was Plato (although this is in dispute) who said

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

Wise words, so be careful with yours!

Oh and I got 71% for the project proposal, so there!

A Moodscope member.

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Lya Frank Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 5:30am

Be careful with your words. Once they are out there they can not be taken back again.
It is like a glass you break and then glue back together, the cracks will remain.

Amrit Sagoo Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 7:57am

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. As Maya Angelou once said people won't remember what you did but they would always remember how you made them feel. Take care.

Julia Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 8:54am

I just love this quote Amrit; thank you for reminding me about it today.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 9:36am

Oh Penny, it is sad when people don't know how much their words hurt, look after yourself...and if you live in Cambridgeshire - I'll come and help you move x K x

Mary Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 12:00pm

Hello Penny. Well done on your project. What a great quote to use. I am sorry that your cat is coming towards the end of her existence here; our pets are a great source of comfort. She will live always in your heart and hopefully you will have the space to give another unwanted cat (and black one from Wood Green Animal Shelter?) a warm and loving home at some point in the future.

Amrit Sagoo Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 1:09pm

You're welcome Julia :)

Anonymous Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 1:21pm

I have been on the receiving end of thoughtless comments and also said thoughtless things my self. When I've said things it is normally afterwards I reflect back and realise how that must have seemed. I am then reached with guilt and feel useless and that none will like me. Often I have talked to the person in question and apologised. On some occasions they truely do not know what I am talking about. Sometimes I don't know how to approach the situation. I sometimes are so concerned about saying the 'wrong' thing to people that i suffer anxiety and panic. I don't mean harm and if I have harmed anyone I would like to know and make amends. We are not perfect. We all make mistakes. Well done on your work and I am sorry your friend upset you and hope you are able to talk it through.

Anonymous Thu, Dec 11th 2014 @ 7:24pm

So true//// everyone we meet are fighting a hard battle of some please be kind to all including yourself... dave

Anonymous Fri, Dec 12th 2014 @ 7:12am

This is a really good message and something to try to recall as we deal with folks in our daily lives, you never know why peepsdo the things they do because you never know what's going on in their private lives.I try to remember that these days and be more tolerant.

Liz Sat, Dec 13th 2014 @ 10:30am

I am struggling right now with someone who is either trying to help me or is trying to make my life difficult. I am so confused. I either listen to what she is saying and take it on board, or dismiss it and continue to fight for myself. Fighting is such hard work, being calm is a much better place to be. I just don't know which way to turn.

Anonymous Sat, Dec 13th 2014 @ 10:34am

Congratulations. Wondering if that person who said the unkind thing is jealous of you. Why would people make such nasty remarks? I have someone in my life who doesn't think I can cope and appears determined to get her own way so I leave the work place. I just don't know what to do. Do I fight her and keep my head up high, or give in and move on?

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